Warning: Language

O.o o.O

“Tao.”

Tao’s reaction to Kris’ voice was almost instinctive by this point - his back straightened, his face lit up, and his eyes glittered as he gave a sweet smile. “Ge!”

There was a boy sitting next to Tao, arm draped over the back of Tao’s chair and their faces just a little bit too close for Kris’ liking. He had looked up somewhat irritably at the interruption, frowning slightly when Kris sat across from Tao without any invitation and set down a to-go cup of coffee.

“Who’s this?” Kris’ upper lip curled just the tiniest bit, the boy sitting up slowly and drawing his arm back towards himself. 

“This is Hyunseung, from my economics class! Hyunseung, this is my hyung, Kris!”

Hyunseung dipped his head in a bow. “Hello, I’m Kim Hyunseung.”

“Hello.” Kris was smiling - had been smiling all along - but the sharpness of his eyes had Hyunseung shifting uneasily in his seat. Kris’ gaze swung back over to Tao, infinitely more gentle. “You’re studying?”

“Kind of,” Tao said. “Hyunseung asked me to tutor him.”

“Hm. I didn’t know you tutored.”

“Oh, it’s not, like, official or anything.” Tao gave a light laugh. “We just kinda meet when our schedules match up.”

“I see.” Kris leaned back in his seat, crossing his legs. “Carry on, then.” He lifted his cup to his lips. “Don’t stop on my account.”

“Okay,” Tao chirped, turning towards Hyunseung once more. “We were just here, right? Well…”

Hyunseung found himself leaning in when Tao did, their faces only a couple inches apart as Tao pointed to something in the textbook shared between them. His eyes fixed on Tao’s lips as they moved, and he began to sink into the same familiar haze he always did when he was this close to Tao.

Except -

Except this time, it felt like there was a hole burning into his forehead, and he looked up to see Kris’ intense gaze fixed on him in a dead stare. Hyunseung tensed, moving back hesitantly and swallowing hard when Tao blinked up at him. 

“Do you not understand?”

Hyunseung darted a look towards Kris and then back towards Tao. “I, uh. I don’t know?”

“Okay, lemme explain it another way. See…” And Tao leaned in again, close enough that Hyunseung could smell the scent of Tao’s shampoo.

This time though, Hyunseung remained stiff, nodding automatically as Tao spoke. Now that he was more…aware…he noticed how Tao would glance over at Kris every other sentence, and how, each time their eyes met, Kris’ entire countenance seemed to soften whereas Tao’s would brighten, his smile just that bit wider and just that bit more luminous. 

Hyunseung quickly began to feel like more than just a third wheel, like he was intruding on something private between the two of them. So when Tao asked him a question, Hyunseung jumped at the opportunity to leave. “Hey, Tao. Uh, listen, thank you so much for your help, and I’m sorry to cut it short, but I, uh, I really gotta go.”

Kris’ steely gaze on him became a flat out glare when Tao’s shoulders drooped.

“Don’t get me wrong, you’re a great tutor,” Hyunseung added hastily, hands moving to sweep his things into his backpack haphazardly, uncaring that he was probably crushing his loose notes. “Really great. The best tutor ever. I just, uh. Totally forgot my, um, forgot…”

The corners of Tao’s lips turned down, and Kris’ glare turned icy enough for hell to freeze over. 

A bead of sweat began to gather at Hyunseung’s temple.

“My keys! Yeah, I, uh, left my keys at - at work, so I really just gotta. Yeah.” Hyunseung stood up. “It was, uh, nice? To meet you? Um, Tao’s hyung. I’ll just. Yeah. See you in class!”

Tao watched him leave before looking down at his notebook somewhat forlornly. “Ge, do you think I’m a bad tutor?”

“What? No.” Kris spoke decisively, “Absolutely not. Why would you even think that?”

“I never seem to make much progress with him,” Tao said. “I always ask him to explain it back to me, to see if he understands. But he never really does.”

“Doesn’t he,” Kris said flatly. 

“Maybe I’m just not explaining it well,” Tao sighed. 

Kris reached over, hand covering Tao’s and pulling it closer towards himself as he ran the pad of his thumb over Tao’s wrist. “Hey. It’s not you, okay. You were clear and concise and you tried approaching the material from different angles in different explanations. It’s not your fault that he still doesn’t understand after all that.”

Tao perked up slightly, cheeks pink. “Really?”

“Really. Now come on, let’s go. I’ll buy you cake.” Another light tug, before Kris let go.

Tao was already packing his things away even as he asked, “But they have cake here?”

“No, at that cafe you like. How did you even end up here? Their coffee is .” 

Kris led the way out with soft fingers on Tao’s wrist, causing Tao’s heart to stutter and his step to falter, tripping over a chair leg.

“Careful.” The touch of Kris’ fingertips curled into a loose grasp, and Tao could feel his face heating up, thankful that he was trailing behind Kris so he wouldn’t see.

As they walked, chatting about their day, Tao wondered why Kris had showed up if the coffee really was as bad as he said. Although, Tao had always ordered sweet drinks, so he probably wasn’t the best judge of their coffee quality. And anyway, Tao thought as he smiled inwardly at Kris’ hold on him, it really didn’t matter, not when it gave him the chance to spend time like this with Kris.

O.o o.O

In truth, it really had been a coincidence that he had bumped into Tao and that random brat. Kris had planned on grabbing some coffee, ty as it was, before heading to the library for some quiet study time, when the sound of a familiar laugh had turned his head just as he had been getting his order.

He had planned on just saying hi before leaving them to whatever they had been doing - studying? Tutoring? It didn’t matter. What mattered was that Kris had started out with the best of intentions, only to have those intentions sour immediately as he realised exactly what had been happening, unable to stop the flame of jealousy that had flickered to life in the pit of his stomach and burned its way up his throat. 

Though it had all turned out for the better, Kris mused, leaning his chin against his hand and hiding a smile as Tao gave the occasional wiggle of happiness with every other bite of cake. 

“Is the coffee here much better than the cafe just now?” Tao asked. He had chosen a strawberry cake today, and he dipped a strawberry in the extra cream before opening wide and stuffing the entirety of it into his mouth. He his lips, catching the last stray bit of white dabbed onto his cupids bow.

“Mm.” Kris was watching too intently to really process what Tao was saying.

“Ge?”

Kris’ steady gaze slid up from Tao’s lips, their eyes meeting. “Yes?”

“The coffee? Is it much better here?”

“Than what?”

Tao’s chews slowed as he set his fork down. “Ge, are you not feeling well?”

Kris sat up straight. “No. I’m fine. Just…” Had Tao’s lips always been this pink?

Tao just waited patiently with a slow blink of his eyes.

“I, uh…” And had Tao’s lashes always been so dark?

“Ge,” Tao said, lowering his voice gently, “let’s go back to the dorms. Maybe you need to lie down.” He leaned over to press the back of his hand against Kris’ forehead. “It doesn’t seem like you have a fever. Do you feel unwell?”

“Uh…” Kris just stared down at Tao, whose features began to scrunch in concern. “Your cake,” he said half-heartedly. 

“It’s okay, ge. We can come back when you’re feeling better.” Tao tugged lightly at him, and Kris just followed dumbly. What was wrong with him? Why wasn’t his brain working? Was he really sick?

Tao clung to him on the walk back, one hand around his elbow and the other around his forearm, glancing up worriedly every now and then.

It was just as well that they had left - now that they were walking outside, Kris could feel the fog in his mind start to clear, though Tao’s closeness wasn’t doing anything at all to help with the heart palpitations, not when Tao’s torso was pressed against the entire length of his arm. 

“I’m fine,” he tried saying, when Tao turned troubled eyes to him for the nth time. “I feel a lot better now. Fresh air and all, you know.”

“Still, ge,” Tao said, “you study so much and you work so hard and you’re always so busy…maybe it’s too much and now you’re not feeling well. Last night you studied for three straight hours. Three! Without any breaks at all! Ge, you really need to get better at pacing yourself and taking breaks, or you’ll really work yourself sick. And it’s not even just that, you need to have mental breaks from things too, you know.”

Kris couldn’t help his smile. “Yes, I know.”

“I’ll make you some hot honey lemon water - I always drink that when I’m not well - and then you can have a nap. I’ll save some dinner for you - or I can just make you something fresh when you wake up. But you should still set your alarm for tomorrow, just in case you sleep through the night.”

“Tao.” Kris had to hold back a laugh. “It’s three thirty in the afternoon. I hardly think I’d be able to sleep for eighteen hours, no matter how exhausted I am.”

“It’s different when you’re sick!” Tao said stubbornly.

The second they stepped back into their suite, Tao pulled Kris into his room, pushing him down onto the bed and pulling the covers up to his chin. 

“Just relax, ge, I’ll make you the drink and then you can nap!”

Kris waited until Tao had left before climbing back out of his bed, stripping himself of his clothing (and so what if he tripped a little tugging off his fitted jeans, no one had to know). If he was going to stay in bed, he might as well be comfortable.

“Oh.” Tao made a tiny noise, pausing in the doorway as he saw Kris sitting on his bed in just his boxers.

Kris glanced over, tossing his phone off to the side carelessly. “Is that the honey lemon water?”

“Um. Yes. Here, ge.” Tao stepped up to him, gaze darting to the side as he handed it over, Kris hiding a smile as he took Tao’s favourite cow mug from him.

“Thank you.” The warmth that spread through him had less to do with the drink than the one that made it, Tao watching carefully and taking the mug from him as soon as he finished in a few large mouthfuls, only to set it down on Kris’ desk.

“Okay, ge, get back into bed.” 

Kris did as he was told, Tao leaning over to tuck him in once more. 

“Rest well, ge. Text me if you need anything.”

“Thanks,” Kris murmured, watching as Tao gave him one last smile before leaving.

Tao was definitely right about one thing though - Kris was much more tired than he thought, drifting off almost immediately after Tao closed the door.

O.o o.O

Kris woke up around dusk, but decided to laze around in bed doing nothing. It was a luxury he rarely allowed himself to indulge in, normally sticking to a strict schedule and unwilling to waver from it. (Unless Tao called. When Tao called for him, Kris would drop anything and everything, all thoughts of schedules and responsibilities fading away at the sound of Tao’s voice.)

The sound level coming from the suite through his door definitely indicated that most, if not all, his suitemates were present, punctuated by the occasional exclamation. He could tell from the clattering that Minseok was probably cooking, could hear Luhan’s shouts as he played video games against Yixing, who responded with shrill giggles. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were over also, probably pretending to study with Jongdae at the dining table - pretending, because Kris could hear them shouting at each other for penalty soju shots when one of them missed an answer. 

Tao, though. Tao was chatty, but his soft voice had a tendency to get lost in the hubbub of the suite, and though Kris strained to hear, he couldn’t pick out Tao from the racket outside.

Kris shuffled around in his bed, knowing he’d have to get up sooner or later - he still had his evening study schedule to keep, and if he made enough progress in the first couple hours, he might even have time to sneak in a quick workout.

Sighing, he heaved himself out of bed, dressing sloppily before venturing out into the suite. As expected, the drunken trio were throwing index cards and yelling at each other, their notes wet with spilled soju. Minseok was ignoring the commotion behind him, stirring a giant pot of what smelled like jjigae and the rice cooker next to him letting out a steady cloud of steam. When Kris turned towards the living room, Luhan and Yixing were on the floor playing games, Luhan screaming profanities and Yixing laughing all the while.

But where was Tao? 

“HYUNG!” A trio of voices greeted him, Baekhyun raising a glass to him before tipping his head back to down the shot. 

“Hyung, hyung, hyung, hyung,” Chanyeol chanted, drumming on the table with his palms.

“Shot first!” Jongdae called, sloppily pouring a drink for him.

“Hey, guys.” Kris ignored Jongdae’s offer of a shot, pushing it back towards him. Jongdae looked down at the glass, shrugged, and then tossed it down in one go. “What's the occasion?”

“Ah, well, hyung, you know how it is,” Jongdae said, swaying in his seat. “When in doubt, drink.”

“Just finished a midterm,” Chanyeol sighed. 

“Didn’t go well?” Kris didn’t even bother to look like he considered that a possibility.

Baekhyun huffed. “Nah. ’S fine. But now we have another for a different class. And then another one next week. And then one for this class again the week after.”

“Midterms are supposed to be literally mid-term. Why do we have them all the time?” Jongdae moaned, and Chanyeol patted him on the shoulder as he poured him another shot.

“Come on, guys. Study mode on!”

The three of them toasted half-heartedly, soju spilling over onto the table as they clinked their glasses and tossed it down.

“Hey, Kris,” Minseok said, turning briefly before going back to his cooking. “It’s almost time for dinner. Can you go wake Tao?”

Kris blinked. “He’s asleep?”

“Yeah. Something about charging his battery.” Minseok waved a dismissive hand. “I’m almost done here.”

“Oh. Sure, yeah, thanks for cooking.” Kris yawned as he doubled back to knock on Tao’s door. “Tao?”

No answer.

He let himself in, sitting on the edge of Tao’s bed. “Tao,” he called again. “Tao, wake up.”

“Mmm.” Tao stirred, lashes fluttering. “Gege?”

“Time for dinner,” Kris said quietly, leaning over to brush Tao’s hair from his face.

Tao blinked at him sleepily, lips curled up at the corners. But then Kris could see the realisation as it flitted across Tao’s face before he sat up suddenly, Kris moving back just in time to avoid knocking heads with him. “Ge! What are you - I mean, why - um…”

“What is it?”

Tao paused. “I was gonna wake you for dinner.”

“It’s okay. I woke up myself.”

Tao ducked his head. “Yeah. Um. Are…are you feeling better?”

“Much better.” Kris watched Tao fidget some more. “What is it?” he asked again, lower, softer.

“I, um…” Tao bit down on his bottom lip, unable to meet Kris’ eyes. “It’s just…you take care of me - us - all the time. I wanted to take care of you too…especially when you’re sick.”

Kris hid a smile, pressing his lips into a slanted line. “Ge is as strong as an ox. You don’t ever need to worry about me.”

“But I…” Tao’s voice dropped. “I do worry.”

They fell into a heavy silence, the air between them charged and electric. Tao fidgeted with his comforter, twisting it between his fingers, eyelashes like dark crescents against his rosy cheeks with his head still lowered.

“Tao…” Kris sighed it out in a low rumble, watching carefully as Tao finally, finally looked up to meet his gaze, eyes shimmering in the dim light from the hallway.

“Yes?” he whispered.

Kris didn’t answer, his heart pounding a staccato rhythm in his chest.

“Ge?” Tao tried again, when Kris just sat there, frozen.

The glimmer in Tao’s eyes faded, and he smiled gently.

“Ge,” he said. “Let’s go have dinner, okay?”

For one long second, Kris just stared back at him before jerking away. “Yeah. Yeah,” he mumbled, standing and running a hand through his hair, turning his back to Tao shuffling out of bed. “I’m just gonna. Yeah. Whenever you’re ready.”

Tao stood in his dark room, biting down onto his trembling lower lip. 

“PEACHES!” 

At Minseok’s voice, Tao took a second to compose himself before bounding out of his room with all the energy he could possibly muster. “Coming, Min-gege!”

O.o o.O

“Don’t you think you’re starting to head into the ‘more than friends’ territory?” Sehun hugged his teddy bear (Muffin) tight against his chest, chin resting on the top of its head. He himself was sprawled along the length of his bed, head resting in Tao’s lap. “Because it definitely seems like it to me.”

Tao had Mr Panda against his side, tucked under an arm. His other hand slowly through Sehun’s hair. “I don’t know,” he sighed. “I…I don’t think so.”

“I mean, I haven’t ever seen him act like that with anyone else. I don’t think anyone has. Hyung is a super nice guy, don’t get me wrong, but no one would ever call him sweet, not by any standard.” Sehun paused to consider. “And he really is like that only with you.”

“I don’t know,” Tao said again.

Sehun hummed. “Well, you told me he let you sleep in his bed, and he never let you do that before. He wouldn’t let you if he didn’t feel something, right?”

“He’s made his decision,” Tao began slowly, “and I would never do anything to disrespect his feelings and force something between us ever again. I’m happy that I still get to be friends with him. Really.”

“If that’s what he thinks friendship is, I’d like to know what he’s like in a relationship.”

Tao could only smile at Sehun’s stubborn pout. “Sehunnie, friendship is always a bit different between different people. I mean, you wouldn’t do this with Jongin, would you?”

“He’d probably think I went crazy. Do you think we’re crazy?”

“Everyone’s a little bit crazy, don’t you think?”

“I guess you’re right,” Sehun said, wiggling a bit before sitting up. “Soju time?”

“Did you remember to buy the peach flavoured ones?”

“Yeah, of course. Drinks, me; food, you. Lemme get it from the fridge.” He disappeared off into the kitchen, leaving his bedroom door open. 

Tao set Muffin and Mr Panda upright against a pillow before leaning over to swipe a large plastic bag from the floor and upending it onto Sehun’s bed in a crinkly rain of snacks, clearing away an empty patch on the mattress for Sehun to sit.

Sehun returned with Suho in tow. “Hyung,” Sehun whined as he set a few bottles and glasses on his nightstand. “You’re interrupting.”

“I’m just saying hi,” Suho said, Tao preening under the attention as Suho went to pat him on the cheek. “Don’t you two look adorable.” 

Tao brightened immediately, smoothing a hand over the front of his t-shirt, a giant smiling piece of bacon on it to match Sehun’s giant smiling egg. “Thanks for the pyjamas, hyung!” 

“Aww, you're welcome, baby Tao. Yixing and I thought these were perfect for you two.”

“Hyung, don’t you love me too?” Sehun scrambled forward from his perch on the bed, butting his head against Suho’s arm.

Suho only gave a soft laugh before ruffling his hair. “Of course I love you too, Sehunnie. Even though you’re a brat.”

“Hyung!”

“Okay, okay. I’ll leave you two to your special sleepover. There’s more soju in the fridge and I put some more snacks in the kitchen if you want any.”

“Thanks, mom,” Sehun said impishly, and Suho gave him a playful pinch on the cheek in retaliation.

“Brat. Just don’t make too much noise, okay? It’s getting late.”

“‘Kay, hyung. Night-night!” 

“Night, hyung,” Tao chirped.

“Good night, you two.” Suho closed the door gently behind himself as he left.

Sehun and Tao shared a grin before almost lunging for the snacks, grabbing a bag each and stuffing a fistful into their mouths before moving on to the drinks.

“I’ll pour,” Sehun mumbled, spraying crumbs as he spoke. 

Tao made a small noise of agreement, grabbing another handful of chips and eating some before holding the rest in front of Sehun’s mouth.

Sehun dipped his head down to take them from Tao’s hand, humming in thanks before handing a shot over to Tao. They clinked glasses even as they chewed, washing the food down with the shot.

“Mmm,” Sehun scrunched his face happily. “I love peach soju.”

“Me too,” Tao said, setting Mr Panda into his lap and cradling his glass into its paw. “Pour Mr Panda and Muffin a shot.”

Sehun tipped the tiniest bit of soju into Mr Panda’s glass and then did the same with Muffin, the two of them leaning in close for the slowest, most careful of toasts between the two bears before tossing back the drink themselves.

“Oooh,” Sehun said as he poured them another shot, “lemme show you the instagram of this guy I found. He’s sooooo good looking.”

“Let’s see, let’s see!” 

The two of them huddled close over Sehun’s phone, eventually migrating to Sehun’s laptop and hiding muffled giggles between cupped hands.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Sehun flapped his wrist at Tao, words beginning to slur together. “D’you think Kris-hyung is strong enough to hold you up against the wall like this?” His finger pointed at the photo on his laptop screen, leaving behind a greasy smudge.

Tao just giggled some more. “Sehunnie~”

“What? That’s hot, isn’t it? Let’s try.” Sehun spread his hands, measuring them against Tao’s thighs. “Okay, wait,” he said, pulling at Tao’s waistband. “You can’t really see like this.”

“Is this better?” Tao slid his pyjama bottoms off, and Sehun manoeuvred himself between his thighs.

“Something like this, I think,” Sehun said, the two of them leaning down sideways to inspect the fit of Sehun’s hands against Tao’s thighs.

“It looked more like this in the photo,” Tao said, moving Sehun’s hands up.

“More like this?” 

“Yeah.”

Sehun let out a low whistle. “Can you even imagine? This’ll be way better with hyung.”

“How better?”

“Hyung has big hands. Even I think that’s hot. Super hot. Don’t you think so?”

Tao’s cheeks were a furious pink as Sehun gripped him even tighter, the fullness of his thighs dented by Sehun’s fingertips, squeezing out in the spaces between Sehun’s fingers. “…Yeah.”

“Okay, now do me,” Sehun said, and Tao had just hummed in agreement when -

“Holy ,” came a third voice, and the two of them looked over to where Chanyeol and Baekhyun were standing by the open bedroom door.

“Hyungs!” Sehun greeted happily, shifting away and Tao dropping back onto the bed. 

“Hiiii,” Tao said, waving. “Hi hyungs, hi!”

“Uh…we aren’t interrupting anything, are we?” Chanyeol asked, whereas Baekhyun just continued staring at them with sparkling eyes and a -eating grin. 

“We’re just trying something out,” Sehun said.

Chanyeol looked shocked, “Trying -”

“Oooh,” Baekhyun interrupted, hands clasped together in front of his chest, sparkles magnified a thousand times. “Experimenting?”

Tao tapped his chin. “I guess? D’you guys want a drink?”

“No Taotao, they can’t join,” Sehun said, grabbing the open bottle of soju and cradling it close. “This is our special sleepover. No hyungs allowed. And hey!” He turned back to the door with an exaggerated pout. “How did you guys get in?”

“We totally knocked! Like multiple times!” Chanyeol said defensively. “Not our fault you guys didn’t hear.”

“Just wanted to say hi and maybe steal a couple shots, but never mind about that now,” Baekhyun said. “We’ll leave you two to your experimenting.” He began to pull the door shut again, as Chanyeol tried to push it back open. 

“Baek -”

“Good night, my sweet dumplings!” Baekhyun trilled, yanking Chanyeol away by the ear. “Have fun!”

“Ow, ow, ow, ow!” They could hear Chanyeol yelping. “What the actual , Baek?”

The two of them stared at the closed door for a moment, their alcohol-soaked brains needing an extra second to process what happened.

Tao turned to Sehun with a hiccup. “More soju?”

Sehun nodded, before gasping and holding his face with both hands. “I have another hot guy to show you!”

(Hey, Chanyeol texted, so I know it’s like 2am and u have bball in the morning, but r u still up? Or lets maybe meet tmr when u have some time. Kinda want to talk to u in person.

In bed, Kris answered. So unless someones dying, tell me tmr.

Chanyeol’s reply was instant. Its ur funeral.)

O.o o.O

“You can’t just sit around and keep waiting,” Chanyeol hissed at him. “If you feel something for him - anything - you have to make a move now.”

Kris stared impassively down into his pint. 

“For ’s sake, I’m not telling you to marry him. It’s just a ing date.”

Kris had no reaction other than to take another long gulp of beer.

Chanyeol leaned back in his seat, sighing. “If you don’t care, then whatever.”

There was a bang as Kris slammed his glass against the wooden tabletop. “That’s not it.”

Chanyeol waited until the curious eyes around the bar turned away from them before asking, “Well then what is it? What are you waiting for? A sign from the heavens? The skies to open up and reveal a chorus of singing angels?”

A muscle in Kris’ jaw tightened. “Don’t be facetious.”

“Why shouldn’t I be? Literally everyone is more invested in this non-existent relationship than you are.” Chanyeol tipped his head back, finishing off his beer and waving at the bartender for another. “You obviously don’t care enough.”

Kris glared at him, “Don’t presume to know what I feel.”

Chanyeol just scoffed. “Don’t need to presume when I can use my eyes and ing see.”

No response.

“Jesus Christ, it’s like talking to a brick wall.”

Chanyeol was a good friend, he really was, but he liked to talk. He really, really liked to talk. He talked when he was happy, he talked when he was sad, he talked when he was angry, he talked when he was bored. Talking things out helped him sort through his thoughts, helped him resolve issues, and helped him see the bigger picture, which was always useful considering his fiery temper. 

Kris, though. 

Kris internalised everything that Chanyeol liked to lay out in the open. His thoughts, his emotions, his worries - but also his happiness. He kept all of it locked inside of him, and only those that knew him best knew he was anything but the stoic person he seemed, and even then he was still difficult to read. 

And Chanyeol was terrible at reading people, but at least he always had his words to rely on.

“Look, I didn’t want to say anything after you had that total meltdown before, and I won’t say anything after this, but pretty soon it’s not gonna matter if you make a move or not.” He paused, raising an eyebrow even though Kris was very firmly not looking at him. “You do know that, right? Tao’s moving on, and if you don’t catch up soon, it’s not gonna matter what you do, because by that point, he won’t care.”

Chanyeol really was terrible at reading people, but even he couldn’t miss the sight of Kris’ white-knuckled grip on his glass.

O.o o.O

“Hey, baby Tao.”

Tao looked over from his desk. “Yixing-gege!”

“Hey,” Yixing greeted again, stepping further into the room. “You busy?”

“Nah, just reading for class. Come sit, gege!” Tao moved over to his bed, pushing aside the unmade covers for more space. “What is it?” he asked, slightly worried now when Yixing’s smile wasn’t as bright as usual.

“Nothing, it’s nothing. I made you some hot chocolate.” 

Tao brightened, both hands stretching for the mug. “Thank you, gege!”

“You’re welcome.” Yixing perched on Tao’s bed with his own mug of tea. “How’re your classes going? You had a midterm last week, right?”

“I did! I think it went alright? I mean, I hope I did alright. Kris-ge helped me study for it ‘cuz he took the class before and he got full marks on everything.” Tao looked down into his drink somewhat shyly. “Kris-ge is really smart.”

“And hardworking,” Yixing reminded him. “Hard work always counts.”

Tao nodded, earnest as always. “Yes, gege.”

“What about everything else? Wushu practice?”

“Good?” Tao blinked, starting to get a little confused. Had Yixing really come in here with drinks and everything just to see how he’s doing? Didn’t they talk enough about this stuff just in the course of daily conversation? “Gege, is something wrong?”

Yixing didn’t even bother to fake a smile. “Is there?” His eyes were dark as he inspected Tao’s face. 

“Not…” Tao was getting worried now. “Not for me?”

“I do have something on my mind though,” Yixing said. “About you. And I was hoping you would trust me enough to talk about it.”

“Of course!” Tao rested a hand on Yixing’s knee. “Gege, whatever it is, you can ask me.”

Yixing threaded his fingers into Tao’s, warm from holding his tea. “Well. I was just thinking. It’s been a couple weeks since you and Kris made up, you know.”

“Oh.” Tao could feel himself freeze. “Yes.”

“Have you…” Yixing paused as he tried to frame his question delicately. “Have you given some thought to maybe…dating?”

“Kris-ge was very clear -” Tao began, voice wooden.

“No,” Yixing said quickly. “No, what I meant was - have you given some thought to dating someone else. Anyone other than Kris.”

For a moment, Tao just stared, lost. “I…I…”

Yixing squeezed his hand gently. “Would you be open to it?”

Tao just blinked. “I…gege, I…”

“Is it because you’re not over him yet?”

Tao turned away, eyes lowered. “Do you…do you think it would help if I did? Date other people?”

“It just depends on what you want, baby Tao. There’s no right way to do it. Do you want to?”

It took another while for Tao to answer in a tiny voice, “I don’t know.”

Yixing shook Tao’s hand lightly. “What about Sehunnie? You guys are close.”

Tao’s scrunched his nose up in disgust. “No!”

“Why not?” Yixing pulled Tao in closer, and even though Tao was taller, he slid down until he rested his head on Yixing’s shoulder. “He’s very good looking. He’s talented, and smart, and funny. You obviously adore each other. You know to everyone else it seems like you’re halfway there already.”

“I mean…we’re best friends. Does it seem like we’re dating?”

Yixing hummed. “Sometimes.”

There was a long pause before Tao spoke up again. “Gege…do you think it would make Kris-ge feel better if I did date someone else?”

“Absolutely not,” Yixing said immediately, vehemently. “You should do it because you want to. Don’t even think about Kris. He’s not relevant to this conversation anymore.”

“I just thought, maybe…maybe Kris-ge asked you to talk to me. I don’t know if…if I’m making him uncomfortable, still. You know. Because…”

Because of my feelings for him.

“Don’t even,” Yixing said, shaking Tao off his shoulder to look him straight in the eye. “I don’t care how much you like him, or how much you like anyone in the future. You should never ever do something like this - something that will only hurt you - just because you think it might make them happy. It’s not worth it. I want you to promise me this, Tao.”

Tao’s eyes were wide at Yixing’s forcefulness. “I…I promise.”

Yixing sighed, slumping slightly as he relaxed and Tao leaned into him again. “I didn’t mean to yell, baby Tao. But sometimes I forget you don’t have any experience with romantic relationships.”

“No, gege. I understand.”

“I just worry that someone will take advantage of you when you’re so willing to give. Even Kris; I know you think he hung the stars and moon, but he can be a bit of an too.”

Tao thought of the way Kris could suddenly turn cold without shifting a muscle, how he could - and had - shut out Tao in a way that would leave him bewildered and lost and hurt, and how Kris would do it so it would hurt. 

“Kris might seem really experienced to you, but there’s a reason why none of his relationships ever worked out. Or even got very far, really.”

Tao waited for Yixing to go on, but Yixing just shifted to climb off Tao’s bed, taking Tao’s empty mug with his own. 

“I’ll let you study, baby Tao,” Yixing said, smiling gently. “Don’t forget, fried chicken in the canteen tonight.”

“Yes, gege.” Tao couldn’t quite muster up his usual energetic response, but he supposed that was alright after the sort of talk they just had.

O.o o.O

It was Kris that was in Tao’s room tonight, the two of them leaning against the wall and Tao’s head on Kris’ shoulder as they talked about everything and nothing. 

“It’d be nice if Muffin and Mr Panda can get matching outfits, too,” Tao said, blinking blearily as Kris squeezed one of Mr Panda’s paws.

“Sehun’s bear?”

“Yeah. For our sleepovers, to match us.”

It took a while for Kris to speak again, but this late at night, when it was just the two of them in the silence of the bedroom, everything became drawn out, unhurried and slow. “You two make a cute couple.”

“Ge,” Tao whined. “Why is everyone saying that lately?”

Kris gave a soft laugh. “Maybe there’s a reason why.”

“That’s stupid,” Tao said, burying his face into Kris’ shoulder. He could feel the tip of Tao’s nose run against the curve of his collarbone, and his only response was to pull Tao even closer, their legs tangled together and Mr Panda pushed up against Kris’ chest. 

“It’s not so stupid if everyone’s saying it.” And not if Kris had asked Yixing to feel out what Tao thought about it.

“It’s stupid,” Tao said again, resolutely. And then in a much tinier voice, “Ge, you should know.”

That made Kris lift his head from where it had been resting on top of Tao’s to look down at him, a fond look in his eyes that Tao would never see. “Should I?” He sounded amused, and Tao huffed lightly. 

“Ge~” Tao said again, ducking his head even further. “You’re stupid.”

“Am I?”

“Yes.” Kris could hear the pout in Tao’s voice.

“Hmm. Well I guess your stupid ge will have to stay at home to study instead of going with you to Chinatown tomorrow.”

That definitely had Tao lifting his head. “But you promised!” There was the faintest quiver of his bottom lip and Kris had to suppress a smile, a hand through Tao’s hair.

“Silly. Of course I’ll go with you.”

“Oh. ’Kay.” And just like that, Tao was halfway back to falling asleep, sighing as he relaxed against Kris. “I wanna get some herbal tea for Lu-gege’s cough.”

Kris just hummed in reply. The lack of cute endearments for himself had slowly become more jarring over the last few days, to the point where he had to clamp down the flash of irritation at each sweet ‘gege’ that fell from Tao’s lips.

“You can call me that too, you know.” 

Tao had been nodding off again, so it took a couple seconds before he managed to register the words, and Kris could immediately tell when he did from his sharp inhale.

“Call what?” Tao asked hesitantly. He made as if to sit up, to move away, but Kris’ arm around his waist reeled him back in and he ended up still resting his cheek on Kris, body stiff.

“Gege. You call everyone else that.” Kris hadn’t meant to sound so petulant, really; luckily, Tao didn’t pick up on it.

“I just, um. They like it. And I thought you…wouldn’t.” There was so much else unsaid - I thought the affection would make you uncomfortable, I thought it would remind you of just how much I like you, I thought it would make you push me away again -

“I wouldn’t mind.”

Tao shook his head. “No, no. It’s fine if you do. Ge, you don’t need to feel bad about it or anything. It’s just a childish name. I like the way things are now.” There was just the faintest hint of desperation as Tao spoke, and Kris felt a stab of guilt knowing that he had been the one to cause Tao such doubt.

“Childish is fine.” Kris gathered all his mental fortitude to squeeze out, “It’s cute.”

“Cute,” Tao repeated blankly, but all he heard was Kris’ affirmation of childish. He stared down at the top of Mr Panda’s head, reaching up to hold both its ears. A young man of his age, still clutching his stuffed bear like a treasure - yes, he was childish. It was no wonder that Kris saw him as a child. Cute, but a child nonetheless.

Tao hazarded a glance up at Kris, to see him staring back expectantly. Oh.

“Gege,” Tao mumbled, turning his head back into Kris’ shoulder shyly. “Kris-gege.”

“Hmm. I guess I do like it,” Kris said, and though Tao’s cheeks bloomed pink, somehow he didn’t find himself very happy at all.

O.o o.O

/Part 18

AN: I am SO SORRY this took so long. Thank you to everyone still reading - thank you for your patience with me and also with this story! This was a really hard chapter for me to write, but I hope you guys enjoyed it :D