15

“NOOO! DON’T TOUC–“

“GUI!” Aaron tried to calm her down with his voice but she kept pushing herself away. She quickly crawled over to grab the blanket on the bed and pillows, throwing them at him, hoping it would buy time for her to run for the door. She ran like her life depended on it. When her hand touched the doorknob, she tried to open the door but it was stuck, not knowing what to do, she broke down in tears. Her hand clenched onto her chest, it was like her heart was going to burst in any second. She was gasping for air. It was her nightmare, with nowhere to do, a room with a door that cannot be opened, the only difference is that there was a monster behind her.

“NOOO! PLEASE! SPARE–“ Aaron wrapped the blanket around her, allowing the soft material to be the barrier between them. She didn’t know what do so she kept trying to fight against it, struggling to free herself. But the more she tried to peel him off, the tighter his grip got. “YING JIE! ITS’S ME! AARON, IT’S ME! CALM DOWN!” He shouted out, hoping his voice could break her thoughts. 

‘A–A... Aaron?’ When her efforts to escape died down for a moment, Aaron slowly turn Gui around to see her eyes closed. With the thought that she had finally calmed down, he slowly let his guard down but she took this chance to push him away, unaware that his arm was still around her causing them to fall on the floor.

Aaron groaned at the pain as Gui’s eyes open, finding his arm around her waist as her eyes fell onto his. Aaron ignored his pain and wiped the tears away, his lips curve into a smile at the sight of her eyes locking onto his. “A–A–AARON? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?” She felt his grip loosen, so she sat back up, hugging onto the blanket as she stared at him. “Where’s Hebe Jie...?”

“She went out with Ge, they’ll be back.”

“NOO! SHE CAN’T LEAVE ME ALONE!” Gui started to panic, getting up only to slip on the ends of the blanket, making her fall back down. Aaron gasped as he walked over to her, helping her up from the fall. This was a bigger mess than the one before, she knew it was nice to see them again but it will be harder to let go. They were living in two different worlds, they are too different from each other. Sooner or later, one of them will have to let go of one another. It is better to do it soon versus later. “We were watching Titanic and you fell asleep so I thought I would carry you to the bed where it is much softer to sleep in versus the couch.” As Aaron explained the situation, Gui would feel her heartbeat racing against her skin. It was beating too fast for her to think anything else. She clenched onto her shirt as she closed her eyes, pleading for it to stop. “What dream were you having?”

What dream was it? What was it? How can you explain something that wasn’t meant to be explained?

In an instant, her legs lost its strength to stand, causing her to fall in front of him. Boundaries. Boundaries are meant to tell someone that it’s there because it’s there. It’s not meant to be crossed, especially by those who doesn’t need to be crossed. For Gui, boundaries were created to keep the ones special to her away. For years, she worked hard to create a barrier to keep them away from her, her life. But for someone like Aaron, boundaries were his interest. He could destroy one and still stay uninvolved, but how could he just walk away after breaking it down? Gui was his first love, she was the type of girl who was always cheerful no matter what she did. All he ever wanted was to see her again, to go back to the past. But that was asking too much and he knew it.

What if they runaway together? To a place where no one would know who they are and be... normal. Just this once, he had something he wanted. For as long as he could remember, he wanted her, she was his first love and he can’t stand her constantly running away, fearing everyone, including him. Fighting this all by herself, it was hard to sit back and watch and do nothing to help her.

What does it take for her to stay with him? Can she give up everything and runaway with him? This is wrong... everything is wrong... what is she running from? Why? WHHHY?

“Do you want to runaway with me?” Gui stared at him bewildered as he smiled, trying to think of all the positives he could possibly imagine. “Aaron... I can’t go with you.. not when my sister and I are like this. I am willing to throw everything away, no. I have thrown everything away, there’s nothing left for me... My only choice I have is to keep hiding and running away. I know we only just found each other but–“

“Just forget everything and runaway with me. You won’t have to keep hiding and running away! Isn’t that what you want? Go back to being normal... with me...I can help you go throu–“

To forget everything... meant sacrificing herself and those involved, was she ready for it?

“Aaron... Forget about me.” Gui whispers softly as her eyes blurred her vision, tears. Saying the words ‘forget me’ was like an another goodbye, disguised in an different form. For 7 years, she tried to forget the relationships she had with her friends, especially the memories shared with Aaron Yan. She thought she erased all thoughts that wished for an happy ending, no scratch that. Thoughts of seeing him again, she blocked everything and anything she can. It was her way of saving herself from going insane.

Aaron carefully s his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him while his other hand caressed her cheeks. He looked over to her, searching to lock their gaze together. But she wanted to avoid his, if she were to look at him, she would break all promises she ever made. She wasn’t ready to accept him back into her world, not when she is like this. He was known to be rough when it comes to his emotions and how he portrayed them but seeing her again, was all he could ask for. He would be lying if he said he didn’t want her, heck, he wanted her badly.

They could feel one another’s breathing and slowly, ever so slowly. The tip of Gui’s fingers found themselves touching his chest, where the heart lies. Even between the layer of cloth, she could feel his heartbeat hum the tunes of longing. Aaron Yan wasn’t the prince that girls would dream off. In High School, he was the complete opposite.

Gui always saw him as her best friend, who would always be there. He matched the role of a knight more than a prince. Hebe calls him the prefect ‘angel in disguise.' How ironic. In the past, everyone would always compliment them both, predicting that they would become more than friends one day. To her, she saw Aaron as the ‘boy’ that girls would love to hang out with. But somewhere along the lines, she could see no more ‘boy‘ charm in him.

The little, cute, adorable Aaron Yan was becoming more like a man. She failed to see it because she always thought he was the dorky best friend she would always turn to. On their graduation day, it didn’t occur to her how grown up he was until he shed his quiet image. In place was this man who girls would dream about. A man fit for a princess, a gentlemen. Aaron Yan was not the boy who was regarded as quiet anymore, he was more... much more than that.

As the scent of his strong cologne intoxicated her mind, she could feel herself losing focus of what was important: and that was abandoning any thoughts of Aaron Yan. “Why... did you appear... why?” Gui whispered as she finally met his gaze. Just when their eyes met, Aaron leaned in slowly to kiss her. As his lips came closer and closer, breaking the boundary that separated them as best friends, she found herself contemplating. Kiss him? Don’t kiss him? Kiss him? Do not kiss him?

As his lips came closer and closer, she pushed him away. If it was a second to late, they would have kissed and she would have regretted it. To her, kissing him was like she was giving into her urges, her temptations. It was like inviting him into her world and she couldn’t allow it. She can’t, not when everything is wrong.

How they met, why she is still thinking of him, a happy ending? She must be kidding herself, there is no such thing as a happy ending... not when her life is in the wrong place. Compared to his, hers was more complicated, a tragedy in the making while his was the bachelor life. His glamorous life dedicated to parties, alcohol, any girl he can desires, his life was drama-free.

This wasn’t right, what was she doing?

Before she walked out of the room, she turned back to look at him once again.

Flashback

“Do you want to runaway with me?”

End of Flashback

She can’t do this to him, she can’t let him give up on his world, not when there are endless possibilities waiting for him. “Forget me... I don’t want to see you get hurt... because of me... I’m pleading you, forget about this, forget Hebe Jie and I, and forget.. everything.  I don’t know what I would do if you were to get hurt because of this.” And she walked out of the room, leaning against the door as she closed her eyes tightly, fighting back the tears she tried hard to conceal. “For both of us.”