Its been exactly 5 days since that crying incident of her's. And just when I thought that their relationship would end, that bastard of her's would do something to make her forgive him. I told myself that I'm giving up, that I'm letting her go, that I'll find someone else to love. 

But I just can't. I couldn't. Even if I can, I still wouldn't.  I can't stand the fact that I'm this weak when it comes to her.  Every little gesture she makes, be it a smile or with just her mere pressence, the thought of leaving her completely diminishes from my mind.

She's like a drug to me, a drug that I can no longer remove from my system. My friends think that I'm already a lost soul because of my feelings for Dara . . . what they don't understand is that Dara is the anchor that keeps me grounded in this world. I know for a fact that I can't have Dara, I'm just happy enough that I get to breath the same air she breathes. I can't be too selfish, no matter how much I want to.

I guess, when you truly love someone, your whole concept of "Me, Myself and I" is no longer important. 

. . ." Then, Woo Oppa kneeled! He kneeled! He never did that to any of his ex-girlfriends before! So, after he kneeled in front of our classroom, our teacher wanted him to leave the room. But he won't budge! Then he said. . ." I won't stand unless Sandara Park forgives me. . . " She gushed like a little girl, receiving a barbie for christmas. She suddenly frowned at me. "Geez Ji! Where you even listening?!" she said quite annoyed. 

I wanted to say, you already recounted that story to me for hundreds of times. 

"I was listening Dee. .  I just got distracted for a bit. Run down of the story; you left him in the hallway. He followed you. You ignored him. Went to your class, since you were already late. He barged inside, kneeled then said something cheesy. The other girls squeeled. You squeeled. The end. Did I miss something?" I asked sarcastically. 

She probably missed my condenscending tone, because she was smiling from ear to ear. She looked so ecstatic just by talking about that bastard. I guess, he really is her source of happiness. But compared last week, when she was gloomy and lifeless, I'd prefer this smiling and happy Dara any day. 

Its not like I didn't attempt on making her happy during her times of depression. Because, seriously, I really did.  I brought her to the beach, theme park, zoo . . . basically, anywhere just to distract her. But it was a losing battle before it even began. 

"Ji, you should find someone to love. Being in love is the best feeling in the world!" 

"I already did." I said quietly. 

"Really? who is she?" She asked. 

 It's you, silly girl.  "Its a secret." I said cheekily. She started pestering me, but of course I didn't say anything.

"Fine, I give up. Anyway Ji. I'm happy for you. Ji, I really love Woo Oppa. . . I think he's my soulmate. I want to be with him forever."

"Dara aren't you thinking way ahead? What if he's che--" She cut me off.

"Ji, I trust Woo Oppa." She said with determination. "He won't ever cheat on me."

I don't know what to say anymore.

-----

Its my BIRTHDAAAAAAAAAAY! YIPEE! 

:) I'm 19 already.KE!