I bought a strawberry flavored ice cream for Dara after upsetting her. It was my way of showing that I didn't want us to fight about her boyfriend. After eating the ice cream, we walked home quietly. Normally, she would chatter non stop about her day, on how much she finds calculus impossible, how irritating some of her classmates and most specially, how much she loves that bastard. 

I can't help but hate her sometimes, I have always been obvious to how I feel for her. In fact, when we entered high school, almost everyone thought we were a couple because of the way I treated her. The only one who was dense not to notice my feelings was, her. 

Maybe I was a kidnapper that forced crack on kids before, that's why I'm suffering some sort of karmic punishment. Or maybe I was a cassanova that made lots of girls cry? I think I'd go with the latter. But even so, I just wish that Dara would realize that I love her and she'd choose me instead. There are times when I feel like waiting for Dara is like attempting to drive a car on the sea, its impossible and stupid. I'm slowly losing hope that she would ever see the way I see her. 

But with just one smile from her, my resolve crumbles.

With just one tear streaking down from her cheeks, my heart breaks.

When her heart is full of sadness, I feel like I'm dying.

Sometimes I can't help but wish that I could hide her away from the world, where nothing and no one can harm her. I just want the things that could make her sad disappear in this world. I may sound like a martyr, but thats just the way it is. I lover her this much. I just know that the bastard she loves will only hurt her. 

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They have been dating for the past two months already, and it has gone from bad to worst. At first it wasn't noticable, petty quarells, cancelled dates, mysterious text messages, random phone calls . . . clearly, the sign of a bastard showing his true form. And each succeeding night, Dara would come in my room, crying herself silly. And I feel like a schmuck that can't do anything to protect the woman I love. 

"Dara . . What happened?" I asked. As I hugged the silly girl in my arms. Cursing the bastard.

She hiccuped back her tears, "Ji. . . he's avoiding my text messages and when I called him another woman answered the phone.

Why can't she see that I'm much better? What did she ever see in that bastard that I don't have? If its the looks, then I'm far too superior than him. If she asked me to jump, I'd ask "how high?" if she told me the moon is square, then its square. I'd revere the air she breathe and make sure that every man in this world would pale in comparison on the way I would love Dara.

 "You should break up with him already." I said with determination. I felt her stiffen in my arms. 

How can she be so stubborn?

"I can't ji, I love him." And once again, she's crying in my arms. 

"That bastard don't love you, How much longer are you planning to cry yourself silly?" I asked her gently with a hint of anger bubbling silently.

"I dunno Ji. I just love him way too much. I can no longer see myself without him." She said quietly, after calming herself.

"There are lots of better guys out there Dar."

"Ji for me there can be no other guy. If the world turns against me and he remains in my life, then, I'm okay. But if he leaves me, then the world I live in would be a stranger to me." I didn't say anything, and so did she. As the night comes into an end, and the sun slowly rose, my heart's hope of ever having her was shattered.

 Why can't I have her? I could treat her better. 

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