Luhan slams the front door. He can’t see where he’s going. His vision is blurry and he feels like he’s about to collapse any second.

The house is empty – bare.

There’s nothing.

No-one.

He had decided to call all of Sehun’s friends.

Not one of them recognised the name.

Not one single person.

He gives up. His heart was on the verge of mending itself, and then it shattered completely - never to be fixed, taking Luhan’s whole entire existence with it. He whimpers into his pillows.

He jolts stiffly when hears a sound.

He pulls out a crumpled letter from under his pillow.

It has his name, in small cursive font. He recognises it as Sehun’s.

He doesn’t want to bring himself to read it. He knows it will answer everything.

The reason why Sehun left him.

The reason he left him with a ing teddy bear when he could have just said goodbye…

He knows he will be broken beyond repair, and yet, he carefully unfolds it:

Dear my beautiful Luhan,

You miss me, right?

I gave you my childhood teddy bear so you won’t ever be lonely again, okay!

I guess you want to know the truth…

Luhan, remember that day, when I was about half an hour late home from work? I said the traffic was like mayhem and you just chuckled and we sat down and ate pizza because you were too worried to cook? You thought I was late…but the truth is…I never came home from work that day.

I was trying to call you, but nothing was working. Then I saw my car – it was tipped on its roof. I felt sick, Hyung. I thought I threw up because I saw myself in there, crushed between the metal. I thought I threw up, but I couldn’t have…because I was dead.

I saw myself, Luhan, dead.

When I could think again, I realised I was stuck here. I had to do something.

The last thing I wanted…was for you to suffer. Luhan, you are my everything. I didn’t know why I wasn’t somewhere up in the clouds by then, but I knew that you…had to move on.

Did you know that was the hardest text to send?

I watched you cry. I watched helplessly as you bashed he floor over and over again with your fists.

 I would have cried too but…

When I realised you could see me, it made everything worse. I thought you would just accept it and leave. But you…you really did love me. Do you know why I chose five days to lose you?

Because it took me only five days to fall for you.

And Luhan…

I erase memories.

I would say, by the end of this, I hope you remember that I will always love you.

But I would prefer that you didn’t.

But for now…

I love you, Hyung.