The first time Dongwoo and Howon kiss is when they’ve won their first ever win with Be Mine. 

After coming to terms with the undeniable truth that he was totally, hopelessly and irrevocably in love with his best friend, Dongwoo’s found it harder and harder to keep his cool around Howon, to keep his hands off of Howon. Every time Howon so much as gives him his cute, lopsided grin, Dongwoo’s heart threatens to jump out of his chest, and he resists the urge to shrink Howon into a pocket-sized figurine to carry around with him everywhere he goes. Every time they’re in dance practice and Howon wears those dangerously exposing wifebeaters, Dongwoo can’t seem to stop staring at his body as it effortlessly moves along to whatever beat that’s blasting from the stereo, can’t seem to stop tracing his eyes over the taut muscles and lean build of Howon’s body. Even those tiny, insignificant drops of sweat rivet him completely.

Dongwoo knows he’s so beyond screwed.

But he forces himself to keep it together and don’t say or do anything stupid because he’s most afraid of ruining the friendship he’s grown with Howon over the past few years. (But that doesn’t mean that his heart doesn’t twist in pain whenever Howon leans his weight onto Woohyun instead of him, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel a surge of possessiveness whenever Sungyeol latches himself onto Howon.)

And then they’re standing on the stage of M!Countdown that one day, after 448 days of hard work and sweat and stress and tears, and when the seven boys hear their group’s name being called and see confetti falling on them and feel all the other artists and emcees embracing them they can’t believe it. They just can’t.

The first one who bursts into tears is maknae Sungjong, and he cries and he cries and his eyes are red and his hand is covering his mouth in embarrassment but the tears keep coming, so the group lets him have this moment to himself.

And Dongwoo is doing his best to stop the waterworks of his own because he sees Sunggyu stuttering and tripping over his words into the mic in his rush to thank everybody but still keep his cool because he’s the leader, and leader’s are supposed to be strong, and as the second oldest Dongwoo wants to be a stoic and solid rock for all his dongsaengs to lean on, so that he can carry a part of Sunggyu’s burden.

But then someone shifts off to Dongwoo’s left and Dongwoo stops patting Woohyun’s back for a moment to see Myungsoo releasing someone from a hug, and then he sees him.

Dongwoo’s breath catches in his throat because tears are falling down Howon’s face and Howon is hiccupping and his body is shaking slightly and when he brings a small fist up to wipe at his eyes Dongwoo wants nothing more than to crush his favourite dongsaeng against his chest and whisper soft, sweet words into his hair and ears, and before Dongwoo knows it, he’s a mess of tears too. Blubbering and choking on his own sobs and receiving warm pats on the back from artists and emcees and feeling overall ing amazing.

Then their song- the number one song- is playing over their heads and their fans are screaming and Myungsoo’s busy throwing hearts at them, while Sungyeol is busy bowing to seniors and juniors and everyone else who wants to congratulate the group but knows that it isn’t the best time because this moment is golden and it belongs to them- Infinite.

Dongwoo sees Howon’s shaking frame and quickly gets Sungyeol to wrap an arm around the crying Woohyun before walking right up to Howon and pulling the younger boy into his arms. The hug lasts for all of three seconds, but Dongwoo’s holding onto Howon so tight and Howon’s blabbering nonsense like hyung and we did it that Dongwoo doesn’t want to pull away, but he knows they’re on broadcast and he knows that their manager would want all seven of them hugging every other member in the group, so he lets Myungsoo pull Howon into a one-armed hug before backing away and bursting into another round of sobs because we did it, we did it.

That evening, the company treats them to a full meal of barbecued meat and pork and Infinite is so, so happy. Everyone’s smiles look like they could split their faces into halves, and from where he’s sitting Dongwoo sees the manager chatting animatedly with Sungjong, sees Woohyun giggle into Sunggyu’s ear, sees Myungsoo lean his head on Sungyeol’s shoulder and smile happily as his best friend chatters on about their win. And then Dongwoo looks to his left and there’s Howon, popping a piece of meat into his mouth, eyes sparkling with childish excitement and exuberance and Dongwoo can’t look away. When Howon finally turns his head and smiles at him, Dongwoo’s lips curl into the biggest grin yet as he feels Howon intertwine their fingers together under the table absentmindedly.

By the time they decide to call it a day and journey back to their dorm still in high spirits, it’s already past midnight. No one fights for the shower today, though. Instead, everyone looks rather reluctant to have to leave the buzzing circle in the living room for their turn in the shower. By the time Dongwoo stands up as the last person to bathe for the night, it’s well into three in the morning. Dongwoo takes his time to let the feeling of winning sink in deep into his bones, and he lets all the little images of Howon’s tears and bright smiles etch themselves into his memory.

Even with a tear-stained face, blotchy red nose and dried-out eyes, Dongwoo thinks Howon’s still the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.

Dongwoo pushes open the bathroom door with his green towel draped over his shoulders only to realise that the living room is completely empty. All the lights are off, save for the dim light emitting from their old, dusty television set, and he his head in bewilderment before settling down on the couch.

“Hyung.”

Dongwoo’s heart rate speeds up abnormally when he hears that voice. Howon pads over to the couch, rubbing at his eye with his fist, and Dongwoo doesn’t know how one boy can be so handsome and y and adorable all at the same time.

“Where did everyone go?” Dongwoo asks, ruffling his dirty blond hair with his towel.

“They crashed. Hyung, you took more than half an hour in there,” Howon points out, eyeing him.

I spent more than half an hour in there thinking of you, is what Dongwoo wants to say, but knows he can’t.

But the silly sentence doesn't leave his head, and he watches silently as Howon pulls the towel from his grasp and starts to rub at his head, and he swallows thickly when he feels Howon’s gentle fingers moving against his scalp, feels Howon’s thighs pressing against his own. In his mind, flashes of everything beautiful and perfect and Lee Howon runs through his head like film, and Dongwoo thinks about all the things he and Howon could do, could be, together, and the words roll off the tip of his tongue a second before he can take them back and swallow them down for good.

Howon’s fingers still. The silence in the living room hangs over them louder than ever. But Dongwoo’s already laid his heart on his sleeve for Howon, and there’s nothing he can do to take those twelve words back.

And then one word, “Why?”

Dongwoo gulps. Howon’s looking straight at him, straight into him, and Dongwoo feels the emotional wall that he’s been hiding all his feelings for Howon under crumble all at once.

“Because I like you, Howon-ah. Not as a brother, not as a friend, but as a- as a- ” Dongwoo can’t finish his sentence. He’s so afraid of what Howon’s going to think of him, so ashamed of what he’s become, of his less-than-appropriate feelings for his best friend.

“Lover?” Howon whispers.

Dongwoo’s head drops, and he looks away.

The silence reigns for a good few minutes. Neither boy has moved. Dongwoo’s about ready to retreat into his room with Myungsoo (and probably Sungyeol for tonight, too, considering how Myungsoo refused to let go of the older boy all through the evening) and listen to the silent shattering of his heart on his own when he feels a hand drop from the towel on his head to cradle his face, and that familiar smell of Howon fills his nose and intoxicates his senses before he feels soft, hesitant lips pressing gently against his.

Dongwoo’s heart explodes in his chest.

Shakingly- almost desperately- Dongwoo rests one hand on Howon’s shoulder and brings the other around to the nape of Howon’s neck, and his fingers dig into Howon’s shoulder blades as the younger boy pulls away.

Dongwoo’s eyes flit open and he finds himself staring into endless depths of warm, dark brown, finds himself drowning in the intensity of emotion he can see in Howon’s eyes- happiness, fear, shyness, tenderness, love, and he doesn’t need Howon to say anything for him to know that the younger boy’s feelings aren’t that far off from his own.

Dongwoo leans forward and kisses Howon again, and the way Howon’s lips mould against his so perfectly makes his heartbeat stutter. Dongwoo presses a chaste kiss to Howon’s neck, and he hears a rumble of delight from the younger boy as fingers thread through his hair.

“Sleep with me tonight?” Dongwoo murmurs against Howon’s skin.

Dongwoo feels Howon nod silently and he smiles, pulling his dongsaeng- no, boyfriend- into his chest, looping both arms around Howon’s skinny waist.

And at the moment, Dongwoo is perfectly content, because he knows he’s got the whole world in his arms.

-

A/N: Hey guys, thanks so much for reading this story! I promise I’ll reply to your comments soon. Anyway, just a note, when Dongwoo says sleep with me tonight, it’s the innocent sleeping, all right? Haha. And because I wrote their winning scene based off this fancam: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDdqlQVQIY0&feature=plcp (yadong from 2.28-2.30!), just thought you might want to check it out (though I’m sure all of you’ve already seen this beautiful moment) :)