Dongwoo finally realises he’s turned into a flaming homoual for Howon by the time Nothing’s Over promotions roll around.

Through the first few rocky months after their debut, through all the happiness at watching their very own fan base form, through all the tears at the endless hours of work and stress they had to keep up with, Howon and Dongwoo had kind of gravitated towards each other. Perhaps it was because they were both the dancers and rappers of Infinite, perhaps it was because they just seemed to understand each other better than anyone else in the band could (kind of like that same, deep friendship between Sungyeol and Myungsoo), but the two were almost always together, and their bandmates and managers knew that full well.

After all, it only took a little while to notice how Dongwoo was always flitting around Howon’s side, and how Howon would always turn to Dongwoo first whenever he needed the love and support from a hyung.

And as Infinite continued to star in variety programs like Sesame Player, it didn’t come as a surprise when the fans started pairing the boys up, started coming up with couple names and started to crave the bromance between their two favourite members of the group. So Infinite, being a rookie group that was desperate to break through the stifling crowd of other new groups alike and to be recognised as something more, something special, didn’t hold back in pleasing their fans.

Dongwoo would always watch Sungyeol and Myungsoo stick to each other’s sides like glue and laugh together as though they were sharing their own private little joke, would always admire how naturally Myungsoo seemed to curl himself around Sungyeol everywhere they went, how together, they seemed to elicit squeals of excitement as long as one of them so much as touched the other. He would watch them and see “Myungyeol” get promoted and shipped all over the Net and something inside him would long to belong to a pairing of his own, too.

And then comes that one fateful episode of Sesame Player, and from that episode onwards, it seems as though he and Howon are forming a little couple themselves.

Dongwoo doesn’t show it, but every time he films those scenes with Howon, every time he and Howon feed each other and play with each other and go off into their own little world, his heart thumps erratically in his chest and he wants to freeze Howon’s happy smile and carefree laughter into his memory, wants to selfishly lock all their little moments into his heart.

What’s even better is that off camera, all the screentime they spend together has seemed to push them even closer to each other, so much so that whenever Sunggyu’s having one of those group-bonding-leader-talks with them in their dorm, Howon’s head automatically thumps onto his shoulder, and whenever they’re standing on stage and listening to emcees and other artists talk and give their speeches, Howon’s chin automatically nestles itself onto his shoulder, arms sometimes looping themselves loosely around his waist. (And Dongwoo never hesitates to lean back into Howon’s touch, but he tries to keep the beating of his heart in check.)

But when the group makes their comeback with Nothing’s Over, Dongwoo finally realises- with a jolt, a big, hard, jolt- that the love he feels for Howon surpasses that of love for merely a brother.

He doesn’t know how it happens, really. But he remembers the day of their comeback stage, when the group is backstage and getting ready and everyone’s all nerves and anxious excitement, and he’s one of the first few done with his hair and makeup and he’s busy scrolling through his phone, and then it happens.

Howon’s face suddenly disrupts his line of vision, and Dongwoo flicks his gaze upwards to see Howon’s deep, chocolate brown orbs staring straight into his, all soft and gentle and loving and happy, Howon’s meticulously styled hair that’s falling over the left side of his face, and then Howon moves so he’s leaning over Dongwoo who’s sitting on the dressing chair, and his arms wind themselves around Dongwoo’s torso and he buries his face into Dongwoo’s hair and in that quiet, boyish voice of his, goes- hyung.

Dongwoo remembers looking straight into the mirror right at the moment, remembers seeing how Howon’s all melted into him from behind, remembers seeing his flushing face and feeling the loud thumping of his heart.

He spends the rest of that day sorting out all his feelings and emotions and he tried- so damn hard- to push those feelings away, to convince himself that liking your best friend and bandmate is going to screw you up so bad, walk away, but then night falls and they’re back in the dorms, and Dongwoo’s the last one to return after practicing on his own in the dance studio when he sees Howon’s figure curled up on the small couch, obviously asleep.

A rush of something warm and sweet and sticky like honey- love, affection, Dongwoo really doesn’t know- surges through his body, and he drops his bag softly on the floor and moves to the younger boy, carefully slipping both arms under his lean frame and lifting him up before padding over silently to his shared room with Sungyeol and Sungjong.

And then it’s that shy, groggy voice again, “Dongwoo hyung?”

Dongwoo pauses before he manages to push the door open, “Yes, Howon-ah, it’s me.”

Howon shifts a little in his arms and Dongwoo’s heart goes into overdrive as the younger boy buries his face slightly into his chest and murmurs softly, “You’re back. I was- I was waiting for you...” Howon trails off tiredly.

Dongwoo fights the urge (barely) to lean down and kiss the boy’s tender pink lips, and instead prays for all the self-control in the world as he gently lays Howon down against the mattress. Tentatively, Dongwoo cards his fingers through Howon’s hair and his heart all but bursts at the feeling of the silky tendrils slipping through his fingers.

“Sleep, Howon-ah. I’m back,” Dongwoo whispers finally.

Howon hums, mumbles something unintelligible, and falls back asleep.

And Howon’s stolen his breath and heart away ever since that balmy spring day.