It had only been a few weeks before Bekah's dream began to unravel into a nightmare.

Before, he had attentively replied to her texts, writing essays back to her whenever they'd casually have conversations via text. Now, he replied to her texts with one liners after hours of silence. Maybe he was stressed out and busy these days; it wouldn't be good to plaster herself to him, but then, she realized, he began to avoid her more often, often dodging her invitations to hang out. Soon, he didn't even bother replying her texts and occasionally, she'd catch him in the library, flirting with girls.

She didn't want things to be this way; it was as if he was waiting for her to break up with him first, but she couldn't. She still liked him and hoped that they would still live happily ever after together... whatever that meant.

After much thought, she decided. that this was just a speedbump-- nothing that they couldn't get through-- all it took was some patience and understanding. Maybe there was something going on in his life that he felt like he couldn't tell her about.

She approached him after school; when he was by himself. 

"Hey," she tapped his shoulder to get his attention.

He turned and smiled, "Whats up."

"Not much," she bit her lip, hoping that nothing would go wrong, "I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out... or something."

"Uh..." he swallowed a lump in his throat.

"You know... I feel like we haven't seen each other in a while; I've begun to wonder if we're even dating..." she laughed awkwardly.

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"Well?"

He took her hand and led her to a bench nearby. 

After a few seconds of awkward silence, he finally spoke, "Bex, I don't think we should keep going like this."

She tried to play stupid, maybe that'll stop the inevitable.

"You know exaclty what I'm talking about. We've been growing distant... and it's pretty much been me showing no interest. I guess it's just that we're not that compatable at a couple. And... please, don't take this too harshly, but... maybe it's just that the feeling isn't there anymore..."

She blinked and stared blankly.

"Bex?"

"I thought this would be coming..." she looked aside.

"I'm sorry..." 

And he wasn't lying. It may have seemed as if he was being insincere in his break up, but he honestly did feel bad for letting her down like this. It was, afterall, he who asked her to be his girlfriend; it just seemed weird that in such a short time, he could have had such a quick change in heart.

She quickly swept a loose strand of hair away from her face. "It's no biggy; people change, right?"

"Bex, I think you have it wrong; I still want to be your friend, and I still want to hang out with you..."

Clearly not. She thought. You've been declining my invitations to hang out for the past week.

"I get it, Chan... You don't have any interest in me like that anymore... and it's time to end things cleanly." She mimed a cutting action, bringin her flat hand sideways down onto her flat palm. 

He couldn't reply to that.

She tried to remain calm and collected-- not letting him see the sadness in her eyes, retaining her nickname "the happy pill".

Taking a deep breath in, she outstretched her hand to him, "Then we'll shake hands to agree on the end of this relationship?"

He nodded slightly, taking her delicate hand into his, but instead of the firm up and down shake most people do, he pulled her in for a hug. In his mind this was not really the end, but simply the beginning of a new chapter to their story. Though he may have lost interest in her, romantically, an irksome voice kept reminding him that she was someone special.

She knew none of this, however. In her mind, this seemed to be the beginning of a tiresome tug-of-war between her and his indecisiveness. She wanted to push him off of her, get up and run away from all this-- act as if he had never become such a strong force in her life-- but it was impossible, out of the question. Tears began to roll down her cheek involuntarily, and before her nose could grow stuffy, she let go of him, and wiped the tears away before he could see.

"I guess I'll see you around then..." she said as she stood up, her voice growing weak.

"Yeah," he replied softly, seemingly unaffected by the break up, "Sounds good."

Turning away, she let go. Her tears began to stream down her face. As she took in a deep breath, the sound of her blocked up nose echoed and for a while it was all she could hear.

She walked, turning at crossroads, avoiding passerbys, trying to get home as slowly as possible.

Her arms were folded; she stared at her feet as she walked.

All she could think about was whether or not he actually cared-- if he ever did. She grew insecure, wondering if he had only dated her out of pity-- maybe it was the tears that urged him ask her to be his girlfriend without thinking. This is all a game... just another stupid game. 

She quickened her pace without thinking and ran straight into a passerby, slamming her head into their chin.

Rubbing her forehead to soothe the pain, she looked up to apologize to whomever she had just walked into. Her head throbbed from thinking so much and also from the impact.

"I'm so sorry," she bowed as it came to her as second nature.

"Hey, no big deal." It was Khun. "I'm fine," he smiled... until he saw her red, puffy eyes, "but clearly you're not... What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'll be fine. I just need to think for a bit," she tried to push him aside to continue on her path home.

But he grabbed her arm, and wouldn't let her pass.

"Bex, I can't let you go home alone like this. You clearly need to talk to someone about it," he looked at her with his big puppy eyes, surveying her lovely face that had retained its beauty even through the puffiness that accompanied the tears, "and if not me, then let me know who you'd feel more comfortable talking to."

She wanted to spill her guts out to someone-- but she didn't know if it would be right to do this to Khun, who clearly had a crush on her. 

"Khun, it's fi--"  

"No, Bekah. It's not."

She drew in a deep breath through her nose, again making the strange crumply sound that stuffy noses made.

Without warning, he took her hand and pulled her into the little playground nearby that she and Chansung had began their relationship in. Memories-- both good and bad-- rushed back.

He brought her up the steps to the slide and sat her down.

"I know you want to get your emotions out; cry, scream, yell, just do whatever you have to to feel better. I'm here for you."

She looked at him with her kind, but sad, eyes, sighed and began.

Though there was anger and envy growing within him, directed at the cause of all this pain, he knew that she needed him to be just a friend. So there he sat, nodding and listening, not as a competitor of Chansung but as a friend of Bekah. Attentively he nodded, passing her tissues from his bag. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope you enjoyed this chapter!! :3

but anyways, I've recently heard that Bekah's leaving after school... and though I'm really sad that there won't be that extra spice in After School anymore, I'm also really glad that she can finally do what she absolutely loves to do. There's actually a lot I have to say about this topic, but I won't bore you (plus, I'm pretty sure a few of you won't even bother reading this section). However, if you're actually interested in what i have to say, I'll post a little blog post later.

and umm.... I wrote this pretty late at night, so I have no idea if it made any sense at all.....

Please leave comments and subscribe! (and also, don't hesitate to friend me)

Love,
yellowbee