A/N: Sorry to keep you guys waiting! And it's sort of a long chapter lol.

I hated pink, any shade related to that color, PDA between overed couples, affectionate, cheesy declares of love and any other item or abstract idea related to love. That was quite reasonable because I definitely hated Valentine’s Day. It honestly never occurred to me why it was considered a holiday. I mean for God’s sake, there had to be twenty-four hours dedicated to girls moping around about their single status, delighted to receive any trinket with pink or the word chocolate on it. As if I wasn’t already suffocating with that material in my life.

“Isn’t this great, _____?” Min gushed to me, admiring all the hearts stuck on the lockers and hugging a teddy bear someone gave her. “It’s just so romantic!”

“Yeah, sure,” I said, nodding absentmindedly.

At that moment Sooyeon came bounding up to us, her face flushed with the color of love. She held a box of chocolates in her hands.

“Guess what guys?” she asked breathlessly.

Min squealed, hopping up and down with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. “I bet Taecyeon gave you those!” she said. Then she calmed down slightly. “Is he your valentine?”

Sooyeon grinned sheepishly. “No. He just gave me these chocolates and said Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“I bet he likes you lots,” I declared, trying to lighten up my mood. But there was also the glooming fact that today, February 14th, was Valentines Day and it was disgusting to witness the slobbering. From the corner of my eye, I spotted a so-called “love struck” couple greeting one another with a tongue-tied kiss before the guy handed his girlfriend three very red balloons and a teddy bear

The bell rang and Min cried out “Happy Valentines Day!” to no one in particular before hugging me. Her excitement was contagious, however it wasn’t affecting me today.

When I reached the classroom door, Ms. Kim pulled me aside. “_____, since it’s Valentine’s Day, the secretary needs help to distribute the flower grams … I forget what they’re called. Do you mind helping out? You’re ahead of everyone.”

“Oh sure,” I lightly replied. Another demonstration of public affection shown to the female who detested the day the most, yours truly. Perhaps it wasn’t as terrible as I thought. Anything to avoid sitting beside Kai for a whole block. He would probably be sweeping his plush lips with arrogance, winking at any female who turned his way as a specialty for the day of love. Sickening.

I strode out the door and made it to the front office, still spotting a few batting eyes and couples who couldn’t bear to part with each other until lunch. “Gross,” I muttered under my breath. Near the front doors, a tall boy with ebony hair tousled in a messy fashion was cornering a giggling girl to the wall. The familiar husky voice spoke with a seductive tongue.
“Maybe tomorrow?” the tall female giggled, lightly pressing her fingers against his chest.

Kai cocked his head to the side. He looked particularly good today, dressed in black jeans, a black sweater and his hair pulled up arbitrarily. Perhaps it was for the occasion. He leaned in ever so subtly and whispered in her ear, which prompted more giggles.

I muttered under my breath. “Prick.”

I continued on my trek across the battlefields of lovesick teens when a person tapped my shoulder. I turned around to find Kai staring at me with a cocky smirk. Evidently because of Valentine’s Day and his business was booming.

“What do you want?” I asked, my eyes narrowing.

He grinned. “Are you lacking a Valentine too babe?”

“Don’t call me babe first of all. And why would I need a Valentine? I hate this day.”

Kai raised his eyebrows and smirked. “Only because you don’t have a Valentine right? Listen, since today’s a day of love I might have a pretty tight schedule. But if you really want to see me, I’ll be free later.”

“What, are you a professional now?”

“I do it better than others of course,” he said blatantly.

“Weren’t you about to screw a girl in a corner somewhere?” I asked, annoyed. I wanted him to get out of my sight. He was ruining my day, although it was already terrible from the start.

“Who? … Oh, you mean Jung Ah?” His face was clearly triumphant. “What, are you jealous dear _____?”

“Why would I be?” I said, curling my lips into an unpleasant frown. “You’ve used up you limit of talking.”

“My what?”

“You have a limited amount of sentences you can say to me within a day. So shut up now.”

Kai shrugged and replied arrogantly, “I’ll see you tonight _____.”

“Probably not,” I said, rolling my eyes.

In the main office, the secretary glanced at me with relief in her eyes before leading me to a room with extremely white walls and a floor that was too glossy. She gestured at the three tables littered with Valentine’s Day goodies. Boxes of chocolates, roses, cards. I was overwhelmed by the amount of spirit everyone had.

I grabbed the list of classes the students were in, trying to understand it all when someone knocked on the door. I spun around, hoping it was the secretary arriving to help.

Kim Junmyun smiled warmly and I felt my heart seize. He had never directly talked to me before and I simply watched him from the corner of my eye, admiring his intelligence and the red tint in his dark chestnut-colored hair. He was literally perfection in my eyes.

“Oh, hi,” I said, trying to keep my nerves under control.

“Hi. _____ right?” he asked, coming over. I never had really been physically next to him and now that I was, I realized his height wasn’t as intimidating as I thought. I was only an inch or so shorter than he was but that made him more adorable than he already was.

I nodded. “So you got caught in this too?”

“Yep,” he said, eyeing the mass of pink and red. I stared at him for a few seconds, taking in the sparkle of his eyes, the gentle grace that was in his every movement. He embodied everything I wanted in a boy. Smart, cute, practical. And if I wasn’t one to look down on fate and love, I would say we were destined to work on this assignment together. On Valentine’s Day.

Junmyun handed me a piece of paper. “Here are the class rosters. Maybe we should organize them by class and deliver it that way. It’ll probably be faster.”

“Right,” I said, nodding. I couldn’t think of anything to reply to his statements other than one-word comebacks. Which sounded pretty moronic. But it was hard not to be because here was the boy I’ve been crushing on for a duration of two years or so. I thought I was handling the situation quite fine.

We began to work, separating the bundles into different classes. I decided that I had to take this chance to get to personally acquaint myself better with Junmyun.

“So, you’re Junmyun right?” I asked, piling a box of chocolates together for Eun. She already had four boxes of chocolates and a bouquet of roses. She got around more than I thought. And as if I didn't know his name already.

“Yeah. But you can just call me Suho. It’s easier,” he said, flashing me another winning smile.

“That’s your nickname?” I asked, finding something new. Suho was a cute and suitable epithet for him. He did have that aura of an angel and protector.

“Yeah. It’s sorta lame,” he said, almost apologetically. I really couldn’t take enough of his sweetness.

“No. It matches you,” I said, nodding. My awkwardness slowly began to ebb away. I diverted the conversation to a new topic. “Do you have any Valentine’s Day plans?” I asked.

“Well I did,” he acknowledged nonchalantly. I raised my eyebrows at this and felt crushed. I didn’t have any suspicions to confirm but he really did have a girlfriend. One he was planning to spend this crap mushy day with.

“Oh really?” I asked, pushing my voice to sound disinterested. “With who?”

“Kim Taeyeon. Do you know her?”

She honestly sounded more familiar to me than I wanted. And I realized that she was a popular girl with marveling good looks who had attended our school. Taeyeon was probably in college now. I was impressed that Suho managed to nab a girl who was older than we were and with such fame on her shoulders. “I’ve heard of her.”

“Yeah, she was my girl friend but we broke up a few days ago.”

I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I wanted to sigh in happiness after hearing the words “we broke up.” I felt a bit overjoyed from his dejected confession. God, I was a .

“I’m sorry.” But within myself, I truly wasn’t the least bit apologetic.

“Me too.” And the air was tense, on the verge of collapsing into an unbearable discomfort before Suho broke the silence. “How about you?”

“No.” I wasn’t about to consider even going to Kai’s house.

“What about a date with your boyfriend?”

“Well, that would only work if I actually did have a boyfriend.” I didn’t want to him to feel pity for my lack of romance in my life and I added, “But even if I did, I wouldn’t do anything because I despise Valentine’s Day.”

He actually looked surprised at this piece of information. “You don’t have a boyfriend. I thought you did.”

“Why would you think that?” I asked, curious.

“You’re pretty. And Kai seems to be hanging around you a lot and I thought maybe you two were with each other or something.”

I blushed a deep red, almost like the deep color of the roses. Did gorgeous Junmyun actually call me pretty? I tried to ignore the heat rushing through my body. “Naw. I hate Kai.”

Junmyun grinned. “I’m surprised. He’s so popular.”

“Well, I’m not going to protest to that. I have a stack of at least twenty things for him.” Kai had a large assortment of lovely items from his admirers, also known as his clients. I shouldn’t have been shocked, but I was. All of these girls were competing for his vain attention but he didn’t even give a .

“I thought you would’ve liked Valentine’s Day or something,” he said, stunning me even further.

“What? Why? All of these things are probably for show. A huge fraction of this crap is probably bought by a girl to send to herself in order to appear good in front of everyone.”

“I think Valentine’s Day is for everyone to feel special, appreciated. Especially for the females. And,” he said, picking up a bouquet of tulips in assorted colors and handing it to me. “even if you detest this day, you deserve to feel special too.”

Junmyun’s sweetness was on the verge of cheesiness and as much as I hated the absolute corniness of what had just occurred, I couldn’t deny that it was the nicest gesture anyone had ever done for me. If Kai did that I would have most likely laughed in his face. But Junmyun was sweet and perfect and honest. Dreamy. And he had handed me these flowers.

“Wait,” I said, slipping out of my reverie, “Aren’t these flowers supposed to be for someone.”

“No. I bought them.”

Junmyun had probably purchased these for Taeyeon. But I didn’t really mind because the receiver had not been her. It was me.
We began to deliver all the flowers and chocolates after that and throughout the entire time I was knocking on the classroom doors, handing out the objects to excited and pleased students, Junmyun’s sugar-coated words couldn’t escape my distracted mind.

Five minutes before it was time for lunch, we finally finished sending out all the items.

“You know,” Junmyun said, as we rested in the room. He leaned on the table, looking directly at me. “I had a nice time sorting these things out with you. If you weren’t here, I’d probably be half-dead by now.”

I laughed. “I had a good time too.” I was prepared to head to lunch, walking out the door when Junmyun said, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

I grinned at him. “Doubt it.”

I walked out into the main office, my stomach growling when the secretary stopped me in my path. “_____?” she asked. Before I could affirm she said, “_____, someone is here to pick you up.”

My mind churned, attempting to gather a list of people who had the car and authority to take me elsewhere. Did I schedule an appointment with my doctor today? If not and the worst was expected, did anyone related to me have a sudden tragedy? I stopped dead in my tracks when I spotted the woman at the front desk. Holy. . Unmistakably different, with more wavy hair, much brighter eyes, and a fresh glow to her face.

“Hi _____,” the woman said.

“Hi Mom.”

As she stepped toward me, I recognized the features on her face. After her disappearance for a week, I felt instantly and naturally happy that she was healthy and in good condition. She was nervous and when I looked in her eyes, I saw a quiet hint of fear. And I guess she had a worthy reason to be because I was beginning to feel wary and cantankerous by her sudden appearance.

“I missed you a lot, honey,” she started to say. I slunk farther away. We left the school together, the secretary looking a bit dubious before returning to her stack of work. Mom led me out the school and I followed her reluctantly.

“What do you want?” I asked, approaching her car. I opened the passenger door and shoved myself in, crossing my arms. I wasn’t going to run into her open smile and declare my forgiveness.

Mom got in the car after, putting her keys into the ignition and backing out. “Where are we going exactly?” I asked, frowning as she turned left.

“I don’t really know,” she said, continuing down the near empty street. My mom was constantly living like a released teenager, escaped from the jail of life. I did appreciate her relatable nature and the actual amusement she gave me but currently, it gave me nothing but annoyance.

“Well, you always don’t know, right?” I asked. The bitterness was evident in my voice. “Like you didn’t know how to divorce Dad so you simply left the papers on the table?” I didn’t force myself to be harsh and brash but I couldn’t help it. I wanted her to know how much it stung.

“Honey, why don’t we talk about it? That’s why I came.”

“Why don’t you just send me the papers?” I scoffed.

“Kim _____! Do you think I’ll take that attitude from you? I deserve a certain amount of respect. How did I raise you?”

I swallowed but I wasn’t going to back down. “Well it doesn’t matter now because you practically abandoned me and left me with Dad!” I was selfish, immature and brusque. I knew that the better option was to mull it over, dampen my temper and listen to her side of the story. But what made her less selfish that I was at the moment? She left ing divorce papers for us to figure out for God’s sake! How could I be reasonable and consider her “struggles” when I was barely through with mine?

Mom pulled the car over and let out a slow breath. The minutes ticked by and I sat there stoically. I wanted her to apologize before I would even debate whether I would say sorry. I looked out the window and the sky was a sullen gray.

“_____,” she eventually said. “I’m so, so, so sorry honey.”

Her hand was pulling at my wrist and I turned to find her crying. She pulled me into a hug and before I could even yell at her a bit more, I was racking sobs myself.

She let me cry for a while, her long fingers gently running through my hair. “I didn’t mean to hurt you and I didn’t mean to separate with your dad that way.” She sighed. “I thought things would get better and I waited. I waited a long time. And when things didn’t I knew the only probability of ever feeling right again was to divorce your father.”

I blinked, trying to stop my sniffling. I wasn’t always casually weak but seeing my mom for the first time since she dropped those papers felt like the dam had finally broken.

“And you can always run away from reality. You can always wait for things to get better, although they probably won’t. And I did love your dad. I always will love your dad. But I can’t keep lying to both of you and keeping the facade that I’m happy because I’m not honey. And I realized that I didn’t want to be with your father.”

I sighed and pulled away, looking out the window. Still a vast amount of gray, on the verge of pulling into snow.

“Do you hate me?”

I wanted to be angry at her, perhaps even hate her. But I couldn’t. I was already aware that they were going to separate, that the chance of their divorce was really high. Nevertheless, I don’t think I was ready to accept it, nor do I think that I can believe it now. I wanted to hate her for Dad. He was the weaker one in their relationship, the man who was softer and quieter. It pained him more than it pained Mom, especially since she was the cause of it.

I could have blamed my mother all I wanted. However, my mom was right. She was finally and slowly understanding herself and facing the cold hard truth. My dad had to follow her example and find responsibility for his life. My mom had just done it earlier.

“I will never hate you.”
- - -

My mom and I had spent the rest of the day shopping and eating lunch at a nearby restaurant. The sky was a vicious dark black when she finally dropped me off at the school to retrieve my car. Before I left, my mom recommended that I sleep over with Sooyeon or Min tonight.

“I’m going to talk to your father now. It’ll be a good idea that you sleep over with your friends tonight. I don’t know how your father will react …”

I nodded, confirming her dark notion. We both understood and I saw better after his reaction on the first day. Confrontation wasn’t a natural thing for my father and we both feared it.

I unfastened my seatbelt and said bye to my mom before getting to my own car and dealing with the matters in my head for a few minutes, treading over the waters my mother and I had just swam. I waved as she pulled out of the parking lot, smiling. I allowed my beam to leave my face when my mom finally drove away. Maybe I would eventually accept that fact that my parents wouldn’t be together anymore. But not right now.

I drove. But not to Sooyeon or Min’s house. Instead, I continued to the wealthier side of town, the north. Middle-class homes vanished to larger, grander mansions, tree-lined streets, smooth concrete roads.

I finally pulled up to the exquisite estate I had gotten used to unwillingly. I exited the car and climbed up the driveway, knocking on the door. Kai opened it, a confident grin on his face. He wore only a wifebeater and ill-fitting jeans. It was hard to admit, but his lithe dark muscles and sharp collarbone looked appealing tonight. Perhaps it was a problem with the light.

“Are you kidding me?” he said jokingly. I frowned and stomped to his den. A pool table had been set up there and I was looking for a better distraction versus and maybe beating Kai would be a up in my day.

He seemed to understand my mood and pulled out pool sticks. We played in silence, and he watched as I made one reckless shot after another. I was frustrated and annoyed. I tried focusing my attention on the striped ball but images of what could happen back at home flashed through my mind.

Kai somehow ended up behind me, whispering directions in my hair, his fingers lingering on my hip. He was annoying me and I the stick back without warning, hitting him in the gut.

He grunted. “What was that for, _____?”

I scowled. “You’re not being fair.” Technically, he was. But he was winning and I didn’t appreciate victory in the opponent’s hands.

“Oh, don’t be a sore loser _____,” he said, smirking. He took my pool-stick and put them back in their original place and returned. He leaned against me, pushing my back into the pool table, bending down and brushing his lips to my ear.

“I’m not,” I said grumpily. His lips began moving down my neck, gently brushing against my skin. His fingers were tempting my shirt, pulling the buttons one-by-one.

“Hey, have you ever heard of on the pool table?” I asked.

“Why not?” he asked, grinning.

I leaped off the table and headed for his room. I opened the door and he followed suit. Were my mom and dad fighting right now? Yelling at each other? I wanted to debate the questions in my head, but Kai prevented that when he began kissing me. He gently pushed me onto the bed and grinned. “I know your weakness,” he said.

I rolled my eyes. A few days ago he had discovered that I really ticklish only in a specific spot on my stomach. I was furious at myself for letting my guard down. He could practically do whatever he wanted to now. Kai probed my stomach and I was questioning the existence of air, choking on laughter. Trying to push him away was out of the question because he had the upper-hand of being stronger. His mouth moved to my cheek and I felt the curl of his grin.

I finally managed to shove him away. “You son of a ,” I said.

He was grinning way too smugly. “I thought you needed a bit laughter. You seem sort of sad today. Are you okay?” A mask of concern took over his face and in that moment, I thought he really did want me to reveal what was bothering me.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, touching my elbow.

“Yeah,” I said, nodding.