Tuesday
Seven Days
An overly-familiar wave of electronic and orchestral sounds hovers through the room for a moment before sending more and more waves, bent on world domination. The sound splinters into the murky whiteness and blossoming air in Kyungsoo’s dream, tossing and ripping the clouds from his eyes. He rolls over on his linen sheets groggily and his fingers conduct a quick search for his angry cell phone under the antique lamp on his wooden bedside table. He inspects the neon words and colors on the screen for a moment before registering who is calling him.
Luhan?
❁❁❁
“I like you.”
Luhan’s at his house today, hovering over him on their forest green couch. He’s been distressed and agonizing over his recent break up with Sehun for all of three days before inviting himself over to Kyungsoo’s house to wreak havoc. Luhan tugs on the magazine masking Kyungsoo’s face, exposing the bewilderment and startled white orbs underneath as he puts his knee on the side of the couch where the younger boy is laying down.
“Geez, making jokes like that again...” Kyungsoo says, slightly annoyed and happy at the same time. He’s always liked Luhan, ever since the first day Kyungsoo’s cousin had introduced them to each other. And since the first day, he’s always realized that Luhan always does whatever he wants. So he pushes away the joyful feelings that are starting to overwhelm him. “If Sehun saw you like this he’d get the wrong idea.”
“Wrong idea?” A smirk wrinkles Luhan’s beautiful features and he’s taking on the dare with his impulsiveness and revenge getting the better of him. He leans down in a quick motion and forcefully presses his lips against Kyungsoo’s, receiving a push as the younger boy pulls back, irked and shocked by the action. “Splitting up with Sehun is no big deal. You like me, don’t you? Kyungsoo?”
Kyungsoo can feel the guilt wash over him as his heart races. The guilt from taking the person his cousin loves and for his hidden love. The emotions are tugging and ramming against each other, trying to win. His resolve breaks first though as he pulls Luhan down again for another dirty kiss.
❁❁❁
Whether it was before they started dating, during, or after, Luhan’s attitude has always been the same; he still does whatever he wants without caring about other people’s feelings. So out of worry or spite, or whatever kinds of feelings Kyungsoo feels like he owes Luhan, he slides his finger over the electronic and answers the call.
“Hello?”
“Why didn’t you pick up sooner?!”
“I was wondering why you’d call me...”
“Come and pick me up right now.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I was single yesterday so it was okay but not anymore. I’m not going to meet with you alone.”
“This again? You’ll just break up in a week anyhow.”
“I’m going to hang up.”
“Hmm. What kind of person is it this time? Cute?”
“....rather than cute, he’s beautiful...”
“More beautiful than me?”
“Geez, why don’t you get back together with Sehun already and ask him to get you.”
“You’re not fun at all! I’m hanging up. Bye!”
Kyungsoo sighs, exhausted from the brief exchange. He checks the time quickly on the lone analog clock ticking and tocking, moving its deep black hands over its surface. It’s almost time for him to get up and go through his usual morning routines but today he feels more lethargic than usual so he hides underneath the covers. He tries to will himself to doze for another few minutes but his mind keeps bouncing back to his encounter with a certain someone yesterday.
“Why don’t you go out with me, Kyungsoo?”
He was surprised to hear that Kai, being as good-looking as he is, didn’t have a girlfriend. He thinks back to when Kai was still part of the swim team and how the girls would all oggle at his toned body. Surely Kai was popular enough to go out with quite an assortment of girls so why would he ask him? He rolls over on his bed, trying to sink deeper into the covers but is mind is still milling through different thoughts and feelings. This pattern has been going on for so long that it’s become a well-known rumor now. He always feels hopeful at the beginning of the week, hopeful that maybe this person will be the one he’s destined for; the person he can spend the rest of his life with. But the connections and emotions between their hearts aren’t made so he always starts anew again.
Seven days to see what’s in my heart... It’s short, but it’s enough.
He’s always been one for commitment and dedication so he moves back into his usual routine; he grabs his phone and, with his deft fingers, keys in the same message that he does every week but to a different person this time. “Good morning,” he whispers, eyes still stuck to the electronic screen.
Send. Kyungsoo rolls over again and waits for the reply but just as he settles in, his phone sends buzzes and vibrations through the sheets and he’s surprised by the rapid response.
From: Kai
Subject: Morning
I hate you for waking me up this early in the morning.
-end-
Kyungsoo stares at the black letters and tries to attach them to the face of the person who sent the text message but he’s having trouble doing so. Was Kai always so forthright like this? Well, this sure is... unfortunate, he thinks. How come it seems as if he’s not like how he looks on the outside? He's actually kind of... cute?
He’s still trying to decipher some type of meaning in the message when the abrupt sound waves come crashing out of the phone and spiralling through his ears. He fumbles with the phone for a bit and finally manages to answer the call.
“Hello?”
“Are you an idiot? You’re an idiot right?”
Kyungsoo, the stifled laughter coming up to shake his lungs and mangle his words tries to reply in his most feigned apologetic voice, “Yes, I’m an idiot. Sorry.”
“Don’t laugh while you’re apologizing! Waking me up at this ungodly hour! Now I can’t get back to sleep. What now? Make it up to me. I’m so pissed right now I just want to punch you in the face.”
“Well what do you want me to do? Shall I come over there so you can punch me?” Kyungsoo laughs, sensing the teasing tone in Kai’s groggy and annoyed voice.
Silence.
The silence is unnerving and he’s not sure what Kai is thinking. He’s running through all of the possibilities and scrambling over assumptions and estimates. He’s always been able to read what his partner wanted but why does it seem so much harder with Kai? Is he seriously mad then? Kyungsoo thinks, worry seeping through him and coloring his face distress.
“Kyungsoo.”
Said boy flinches. “Y-yeah?”
“Make sure you go to swim practice today, okay? You better not skip. This is what happens when you wake me for no reason, okay? Just watch me take revenge. That’s all. Bye!”
Kyungsoo can hear the insistent dial tone on the other end of the phone, beeping in his ears as he sits there dumbstruck. He shakes himself out of his confounded state and mumbles quietly to himself, “Swim practice? Does that mean he’ll be there?”
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Kyungsoo surprises everyone at swim practice later that day by beating the current captain in a race. The treated water glides gracefully around his muscles and lean body, propelling him through the chemical liquid. The members are shocked, as he hasn’t been showing up at the practices lately, and their mumbles and whispers make wisps of sound float through the chlorinated air. Kai’s sitting on the sidelines, the cool and slightly damp metallic bench feeling nostalgic under his palms. His eyes are fixed on Kyungsoo and he realizes that this is the first time he’s actually paid attention to Kyungsoo’s swimming.
He was late but it was good that he came to practice, Kai thinks to himself as he watches the water droplets trickle down Kyungsoo’s milky skin.
“Kai-sshi, why don’t you rejoin the swim team? It looks like you’re aching to be back in the water.” He instinctively turns to look at the voice, knowing full well who it was sliding up next to him on the bench with a large grin on her face. He’s always been uncomfortable around the team manager for some reason and the feeling is akin to watching a peacock spread its glittering and kaleidoscope feathers.
Spotting Kyungsoo walking towards him, he hurriedly maneuvers himself out of the situation and quickly responds, “I decided that I didn’t want to drown out the fakeness of the world anymore.”
❁❁❁
The pristine and bright train car is rickety and rocking along on its slightly rusted tracks, picking up the coppers and alloys from the metal. There are various people jumbled around them, some schoolgirls chattering and giggling amongst themselves in the corner, an elderly grandmother carrying delectable crimson apples, and new mothers cradling their bundled children.
“You were good but you could be even better if you actually went to practices regularly,” Kai scolds, glancing at the boy next to him to gauge his reaction to the comment. Upon receiving silence as an answer, he decides to drop the subject and focus on the dings and mechanical voice coming through the speakers. “Isn’t this your stop?”
Kyungsoo relaxes his worn muscles into the seat, slightly sore from not attending practice in so long. “Yeah.”
“So how come you’re not getting off?” Kai leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees, his eyes coming up to inspect Kyungsoo’s face again.
“So I can be with you a bit longer,” Kyungsoo responds quietly. It’s the same thing he’s always said to his partners and it’s the same habit he’s gotten accustomed to but for some reason he feels embarrassed to say such a thing to Kai. His cheeks flush very slightly and he’s hoping that maybe this one will last.
Kai, on the other hand, is taken aback and masks his nervousness by twiddling his thumbs and crossing his ankles. He hasn’t even known Kyungsoo that long and they’re certainly not friends. So why would Kyungsoo listen to him and go to swim practice? Why did he send him a good morning text and want to go home with him?
“Uh, hey. Lemme ask you something... A-are we supposed to be dating right now?” Kai asks, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly and fondling his chocolatey-brown hair.
“Of course,” Kyungsoo responds matter-of-factly. He’s struck by a strange trickling down his spine and he’s wondering just what Kai is thinking. They’re dating. Kai asked him out yesterday. So why is he asking this now? That’s weird... Kyungsoo thinks, nervousness pooling up in his stomach.
Kai sits quietly, taking this in as the mumbles and chatter swirl through the air around him in a cocktail of the passage of life and time. An idea suddenly hits him as the door to the train car swishes open and he shoots up from his seat, startling the boy next to him, and strides off the train with purpose. Kyungsoo scrambles to grab his athletic bag and hurries to follow after him.
“Where are we going?” Kyungsoo demands, anxiety and trepidation making streaks and lines through his heart and making his palms clammy.
“What? We’re going on a date. Isn’t a date a standard part of the package? A week flies by pretty quickly,” Kai responds, offhandedly. Kyungsoo’s heart sinks and he feels like the world is collapsing under his feet and trying to drown him in its torrent and typhoons.
Does he think this is some kind of game? I have to separate myself from him.
What if... what if I fall in love with this person?
A tangible silence settles upon them as Kyungsoo tries to summon the courage to voice his opposition to their relationship. This can’t be happening. He was asked out as a joke, right? And Kai wants to continue playing games with him? Love and relationships aren’t a game and Kyungsoo’s upset and frightened but for some reason he can’t say no and just break off their relationship.
Kai grows impatient as he stands there in the middle of the bustling metropolis with his new boyfriend. He feels like the time is running out so he tugs on the other boy’s arm and trots off happily. “What’s with you? Let’s go!”
Kyungsoo’s missed his chance.
He’s missed his chance to end this encounter once and for all before he got in too deep. It’s inevitable now and he lets himself be dragged off down the concrete sidewalks and through vibrant traffic signals with Kai. He’s sliding down an unknown path now and he’s scared of falling but he’s tumbled into it anyway.
They’re sitting in a ramyun shop now, the hot smell of noodles and soup coiling and uncoiling itself around them. The splintered chopsticks and atmosphere of slurping noodles is strangely awkward and Kai glances over at his temporary boyfriend. “You’ve been really quiet. Is something wrong?”
“Uh, no, I just... kind of troubled...” Kyungsoo mumbles, looking down into his ramyun, stirring the noodles gingerly. He’s been fretting about how their relationship will turn out and all of the troubles he’ll have to face dating Kai. It’s not like he’s worried about what other people will view them but he’s more worried about himself and how heartbroken he’ll be if this manages to strike his heart.
“I hate that, okay? That you’re unhappy about something but you just keep quiet and go along with what I want,” Kai says, staring into the other boy’s face. He’s always been straightforward and blunt to a fault, as Baekhyun always says. But he can’t help being that way.
“I-I wasn’t thinking that!” Kyungsoo stutters, flustered by the statement. Why can’t I be more determined about splitting up with him?
“If you don’t feel like it, why don’t we just forget it for today?” the younger boy offers, slightly annoyed with the way things are going but also not caring enough to feel angry as he stuffs more of the steaming noodles into his mouth.
Kyungsoo slides his wooden chopsticks into the boiling liquid and fishes out a bundle of noodles, blowing them gently to chase away the angry steam spewing out of them. “You don’t like it when people just go along with you?”
“Exactly! I hate that!” Kai replies, vehemently waving his chopsticks in the air in jabbing motions. “If we aren’t both enjoying ourselves then what’s the point?”
The warmth is seeping into Kyungsoo’s heart and he’s not sure if it’s the ramyun or Kai’s words but he feels light and buoyant; his heartstrings are trembling and quivering. All of the girls he’s dated have only cared about themselves and their own needs so he’s always felt like he had to take care of them. After all, being in a relationship means devoting every bit of yourself to the other person, right? A tender smile glows on his face and he thinks that maybe it’s okay if he spends time with Kai like this. “How about we go see a movie?”
The astonishment slams into Kai’s face midway through his mouthful of scrumptious noodles and soup so he chokes a bit, trying to regain his composure before answering. “Sure!”
They’re lounging in the plush seats of the vast movie theater, a historical-action movie playing on the giant screen in front of them when Kyungsoo feels something nudge his shoulder. He looks over under his eyelashes and sees Kai’s angelic sleeping face. His gaze is unbearably soft and lovely as if admiring the spectacle in front of him. He barely realizes that the movie is still playing as the lights and sounds hover and dissipate into the background. He’s different from his stoic image. I didn’t realize he’d be this friendly.
Is it okay that I find it hard to take my eyes off of him?
Currently undergoing construction. Chapters will be posted according to completion. [20120906]
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