Kai sits back against his bed, his palms covering his eyes as he growls, “Answer it.”

The older boy stares at him with worried eyes. “Eh?”

“Answer it!” he shouts, his emotions are bubbling up to the surface now and he swiftly gets up and grabs the DVD. “I’ll go return it.”

Anxious, Kyungsoo starts to get up from his position. “I’ll go wit--”

“It’s fine,” he interrupts. “I’m going alone.” 

The door slams loudly as Kai exits, leaving Kyungsoo still gazing after him with sad eyes. He moves to sit on the springy bed and falls to his side onto the pillow. He breathes in the light scent deeply into his nostrils and closes his eyes. 

Again... every time I get my hopes up they get returned...

He looks at the hand that was touching Kai’s and closes the fingers tenderly. He brings it up to his swollen lips and retraces the areas where Kai has touched him. 

“Am I being played by him?”

⥈⥈⥈

Kyungsoo’s eyes flutter open as he shifts his body on the bed. The room is filled with the darkness of early evening as he lifts himself into a sitting position. He tries calling Kai numerous times on his cell phone but it doesn’t connect no matter how many times he calls. He gazes at the wooden floor sadly and runs a hand through his hair.

“What are you doing, Kai...” he sighs sadly. What am I doing?

He gets up from his spot on the bed and scans the room, taking in the piles of books and papers scattered carelessly. Even if I go look for him... I’m alone in this house right now. I can’t go out leaving it unlocked, can I?

He can hear the front door opening and he rushes down the stairs, stopping as he sees who is there.

Xiumin is staring at him with surprised eyes. “Oh, welcome back,” Kyungsoo smiles.

“Huh? Is Kai not here?” Xiumin drops his keys next to the vase on the small table and glimpses up the stairs, confused.

“About that... he went out and hasn’t come back. I’ve been waiting until now, but...” he says sheepishly.

“For all this time?” Xiumin’s face is restless and he averts his gaze from the house guest.

I guess it’s uncomfortable with just the two of us, Kyungsoo thinks. “Then I’ll be going now. Please tell Kai for me.”

He gathers his belongings from Kai’s room quickly and fingers the movie pass. Just as he’s about to exit from the house when the other boy apologizes to him.

“Sorry! Kai... he’s not the type of person who thinks of others. He’s selfish so... sorry.”

Kyungsoo takes this in and grins. “But that’s what makes him Kai, isn’t it?”

The air is cold now as it circulates around his body. He shifts his athletic bag to the other shoulder and tries to go back to the station the way that they had gone earlier. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, seeing wisps of white.

If he doesn’t answer this time then I’ll give up and go home, he thinks as he dials the familiar number on his phone. He presses the electronic against his ear but after a few rings it still doesn’t connect. He sighs and is just about to press the ‘end’ button but he hears a click. It... went through?

He brings it up to his ear again but there’s no sound on the other side. He smiles, knowing that his boyfriend is listening to him on the other end. He says whimsically, “Kai is always saying I’m a masochist... so much that I’ve come to think that way myself.” He can hear vague chuckles through the receiver and his grin widens. “...Where are you?” Kyungsoo breathes.

“Were you like that to everyone?” Kai asks, his voice light.

“Eh?”

“To me it’s always been rather odd for someone to break up with another person so easily after just a week. To be honest, it’s kind of absurd, that kind of thing. Even so... I wondered why not a single person you broke up with spoke badly of you afterwards...”

Kyungsoo continues walking along the route as he listens to the soothing voice on the other end.

“What kind of skill did you use?” it continues. “I was always thinking... and I think I’ve figured it out. You make the person you’re with feel good. You’re really comfortable to be with, you are.”

The older boy’s memories flow back to his time with Luhan. Luhan’s embracing him, running his hands through his hair as he breathes the words.

Hey, did you know? Kyungsoo is really easy to understand. I know that Kyungsoo really likes me... so being with Kyungsoo makes me feel good. It’s really comfortable and I like it.

Kyungsoo laughs a small laugh as he ascends the steps leading up the bridge overlooking the area and replies, “Even so, you left me so suddenly...”

“Well, I was annoyed,” Kai answers curtly.

Annoyed. The word stabs him and he feels worry and guilt flushing his body. As he gets to the top of the stairs, he sees him.

“...That I can’t even stand little things... and my head overreacts...”

They’re face-to-face now as Kai hangs up the phone and continues, “I get annoyed at myself.”

The older boy looks down from the bridge and realizes that he can see Kai’s house and the route up to the bridge from this vantage point.

“Even so, I wondered what I should do,” Kai maintains.

“...About what?”

The younger boy looks at his boyfriend with distressed eyes. “Things like, ‘if only...' and ‘but...’ and even ‘afterwards...’ Thinking about that kind of stuff made my head all messed up.”

“...Kai?” What are you saying...?

“But I’ve figured it out. I’m not suited to these kinds of things.” He reaches out his hand with outstretched fingers.

Somewhere inside, I thought... even if next week comes, it’d work out.

“The movie pass. Give it to me.”

I know Kai’s phone number and his address too.

Kyungsoo hesitates and reaches into his pocket. He hands over the rumpled paper slowly.

It’s not like it’ll turn into nothing...

Kai looks at the paper with dead eyes and suddenly what seems like a deafening sound breaks their silence as Kai rips up the movie pass. Kyungsoo looks at the other boy with shocked eyes, frozen in his place as he waits for his next move. Kai gathers the shreds in one hand and lets the fragments drift away with the passing wind.

I believed it’d be fine if I just worked hard to get closer little by little again...

“I’ve decided,” Kai states, the expression on his face unreadable. “These tickets aren’t needed anymore.”

He walks by the petrified Kyungsoo, not looking back. The breeze is cold enough to bite through their clothes but neither of them can feel anything in that moment.

“See you tomorrow then, Kyungsoo.”