“I’m fine, really, I am.” Hyungsik assured for the umpteenth time. He tried to take his book bag back from Ryeowook, but the latter refused. “Hyung!” he whined, “I’m seriously going to be okay! So please just calm down and give me—”

Ryeowook’s head whipped around, eyes dark and angry. “No!” he snapped. “I heard everything from the doctor already. You can’t overexert yourself even more. Stop trying to be brave and just let your hyung take care of you.”

The look on Hyungsik’s face changed and he grabbed Ryeowook’s wrist, pulling him to a halt. Turning the older boy around, he locked their gazes. “You’re my boyfriend first. You’re my hyung second. Most importantly though, don’t try to take care of me. I want to take care of you.” He flushed, brow furrowing in suppressed discomfort, “Don’t make me feel so useless, Ryeo-ah.”

Sighing, Ryeowook shook his hand, breaking the hold his boyfriend had on him. “…sorry…I didn’t mean to do that…or well, yes, I did mean to do that. I’m just older than you and I want to take care of you,” he looked up at Hyungsik, smiling a little sadly, “You’re taller than me, you’re more athletic than me, and you’re everything that I wish I could be. The only thing I have over you is that I’m older. And right now…,” Ryeowook sighed, “you’re—”

Hyungsik closed the distance, acting on instinct. Reaching out, he grabbed either side of the boy’s face, tilting it up. Their lips met in a rushed, awkward kiss. Ryeowook’s eyes widened, mouth stiff and frozen against the heated touch.

There was a long pause as both of them realized just how strange it felt to touch each other in that way.

As they stepped apart, their eyes met only to reflect the same mixture of horror and speechlessness. Ryeowook brushed his fingers across his own lips, wondering if he should feel grossed out from the wetness, or be excited because Hyungsik had just kissed him. In his head, he always imagined that a first kiss would be a lot more…comfortable. However, it was sort of the opposite. A wave of awkwardness overpowered him and he felt about ready to hurl or maybe scream and run away from the person who had left spit on his mouth.

“Sorry, that was really weird,” Hyungsik blurted, reaching out and wiping Ryeowook’s mouth. “I thought that in the movies it was supposed to be really romantic and . Apparently it’s not in real life.”

“Maybe it gets better over time?” Ryeowook offered softly, blushing at his own words.

The younger boy laughed, shaking his head and starting off towards the school. “Let’s not think about it too much. We really should head to school, huh?”

He nodded emphatically and caught up with Hyungsik. The rest of the walk was pleasantly quiet, both of them trapped in their own thoughts. At first, it was certainly the kiss that plagued their minds. But then, slowly, Ryeowook’s mind drifted back to what had gotten him so flustered earlier. Hyungsik was…really ill. It wasn’t something that would pass. The doctor already said that.

Ryeowook tried not to think about. Really, he did. But the fact was so impossible to forget. His friend would die someday soon. His best friend, his oldest friend, his only true friend, his possible friend-turned-lover was going to leave him.

It wasn’t fair. It would never be fair. There was no time for it to become fair.

***

The lunch bell rang and as usual, Ryeowook sat down on a bench and opened up his lunch. At first, he was a little hesitant, but it had been a long time since those bullies came to bother him. He was surprised to see Hyungsik jogging out to the basketball court though. The people playing with him appeared to be normal classmates, not athletes or jerks.

Ryeowook got up, brow furrowed in worry. “Hyungsik-ah,” he called.

“I’m fine!” the younger boy called, waving brightly before shrugging his jacket off and joining his teammates before they started the game.

Grudgingly, Ryeowook sat back down and began slowly eating his lunch, not sure what to think of the boy’s obvious act. They both knew what the consequences were of overexertion, so why was Hyungsik even taking the chance of playing a game of basketball? Yes, it was just lunch time sports, but that could still cause sweating, fatigue, etc.

Settling on just keeping a close watch, he sighed and leaned forward. Ryeowook kept his completely focused on Hyungsik, not daring to look away from the boy for even a second. If something happened, he would be there immediately. There was no way anything bad would happen so long as he was watching closely with tensed muscles. Ryeowook stayed with that strategy for a long time, longer than anyone would’ve ever expected him to be able to, but then he lessoned up a bit so he could check to see if his phone had battery and his pocket had a band-aid or two. You never know.

To say he was relieved would be making an understatement. Ryeowook was absolutely thankful that his friend was still okay after playing that game. It was terrifying to watch him sweat and huff and lunge. For the first time, Ryeowook had lost faith in Hyungsik’s physical strength.

The most painful part, the truly horrifying part though, was that it had just begun.

From there on out, it would get worse.