~Monday~

I haven’t seen Kai since the day we broke up which was one week ago, but I knew that I was going to see him today cause he would attend the meeting. I sat together with my friends and classmates at one of the tables in the cafeteria waiting for people to show up. Somehow I suddenly felt very uncomfortable being there cause I knew that Kai could be walking into the cafeteria at any minute now. The feeling of pain reappeared, I was ok as long as I didn’t see Kai but I was not sure that I could hold back the pain if I saw him.

Why am I feeling like this right now. I thought it was over..I shouldn’t care anymore. Can it be that I still have feelings f..

“Kai is here.”

My friends voice startled me. I could hear that she was worried. All of my friends knew what happened to us and since they knew me well they probably guessed that I wasn’t feeling very well right now. I could see from the corner of my eyes that Kai indeed had arrived. I pretended that I didn’t notice him and started fake talking to my friends instead. My friends got what I was trying to do so they helped me by starting to talk randomly too, right in time as Kai passed our table.

Thank God that I have a bunch of awesome friends. Ok, just don’t look at him. Damn it I can feel him looking at me...don’t look back..don’t look back..why am I even panicking right now..I shouldn’t avoid him. He is the one who should avoid me..why am I so useless...

“Hi!”

The sudden “Hi” surprised me and woke me up from my thoughts. The voice was familiar but it was not the voice I expected to hear. I looked up.

“Kyungsoo! Hi! You came afterall....does it mean you’ve decided to join us?”

I was surprised that I sounded so normal and it came so naturally. The panic I had before was gone and I felt very calm.

“Can I sit here..”

Kyungsoo pulled a chair from another table and placed it beside me. He sat down.

“I thought about it and it’ll actually be a fun experience. I can still join right?”

“Yes, of course you can! I’m really happy that you decided to join us!”

“Erhm...who is this?”

My friends looked at us.

Oh yeah that’s right, they don’t know who Kyungsoo is. Haha why haven’t I told them about him...I must have forgotten about it.

“This is a new friend of mine his name is..erhh..maybe you should introduce yourself  Kyungsoo~yah.”

I looked towards the table where Kai was sitting at while Kyungsoo was introducing himself to my friends. My eyes searched for Kai and when I finally found him I saw that he was staring back at me. I knew that look..he was jealous, but I didn’t understand what he was jealous about. I stopped looking at him.

He is jealous, what is he jealous of..it can’t be because of Kyungsoo right...no..why would be jealous of Kyungsoo. I should stop thinking about it..his jealousy might not have something to do with me anyway. I should not think about him at all..why can’t I stop thinking about him...

“Everyone has arrived we can start the meeting now!”

My friends voice woke me up once again and we started the meeting. I didn’t dare looking towards Kai’s table during the whole meeting session and I felt somewhat relieved when it was finally over. Most of the preparations were almost done and the things that we had left to do would be finished by Thursday. We also decided to celebrate it by having a small party for us arrangers and the performers on Friday.

“Do you want to have lunch together? I just dicovered a place not far from here and they have really delicious ramyun there. I think you’ll like it.”

“Sure, why not. Although I doubt that you had found a place that I haven’t been to already. My favorite ramyun restaurant around here is Ramyun Cheonguk. It can’t be that place you’re talking about right? Haha.”

Kyungsoo laughed.

“It is that place! You and I really have similar taste. It’s like you and me wer..”

Kyungsoo stopped talking because he saw that I suddenly froze. We were about to leave when Kai suddenly showed up in front of us. He stopped in front of me and looked at me.

“I...you..is he...?”

He looked at me and I could see that he was angry but at the same time sad. And just like that the pain in my heart was back. I was about to say something when he started talking again.

“Never mind!”

He turned around and left. I wanted to go after him but I couldn’t. I just stood there and watched him leave.

What did he want..did he want to get back together. Should I run after him and ask what he wanted...yeah I should I want to know!

I quickly ran out of the cafeteria but Kai was already gone. I didn’t know which way he took.

“Are you ok?”

Apparently Kyungsoo had followed me out and he now looked at me with a worried expression on his face. This was the first time I saw him like that and I immediately felt a strange feeling that I couldn’t describe. All the mixed feelings inside of me made me feel sick and drained of energy. It felt like I could explode at any moment now and I just wanted to be alone so that I could sort the feelings out.

“I’m sorry Kyungsoo but I don’t feel like eating right now. I have something to do maybe we can have lunch some other time. I’m really sorry for the sudden change of plans but I need to leave now...bye~”

I didn’t wait for his answer and just left. I left the place as fast as I could and I was heading to the place that I thought was the safest place around the Campus area. The secret place. I sat there for a while trying to sort out my feelings. It was difficult at the beginning and I almost cried again. I didn’t like to cry and I usually don’t either but the thing with Kai really had a big impact on me. I eventually managed to calm down my emotions. It felt so good to be calm and I enjoyed sitting there in silence, listening to all the sounds around me. But that silence was soon interrupted by the grumbling sound from my stomach. I was hungry.

I’m so hungry! Guess I didn’t feel my hunger before because of all the other emotions. A bowl of ramyun would be so good right now. Ramyun..I should go and get something to eat..

I barely managed to stand up before Kyungsoo arrived holding a plastic bag with something I assumed was food in it. I stood there surprised and embarrassed. Cause now he’ll know that the thing I was going to do was actually coming here alone and just sitting here doing nothing.

U huh..this is awkward. This is not happening right now..crap what am I going to say now..

“You are here! Are you hungry? I bought two ramyun sets.”

Kyungsoo smiled brightly and put the plastic bag at the stone table in front of the bench and started to unpack the things he bought. I stood there staring at him. I was speechless, he was acting all normal even though I stood him up.

Come on you have to say something...

“I...I..I’m sorry”

“Hahaha! What are you sorry about?”

“That I left you just like that even though I said that we could have lunch together...aren’t you mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad at you. I thought that we were..friends. Which one do you want, you can choose first.”

This guy..I can’t. Why is he so nice to me...and why am I happy that he is here now. I feel even more calm when he is around.

“Of course we are! And I am actually pretty hungry. Am I taking someones meal right now or were you planning on eating two whole ramyun sets by yourself?”

“I bought it just for you haha.”

“Ok, yeah right! I’m still hungry so sorry to whoever you are...I am taking your ramyun now! Hahaha”

We had a interesting and funny conversation like we did the last time and I really enjoyed every minute of it. I tried to get him to sing for me cause I wanted to hear his vocals but Kyungsoo was being all mysterious about it and said that he would sing for me on Friday during the party. Before we left each other to get to our classes he once again reminded me..

“Don’t forget to meet me by the fountain on Friday. I’ll sing for you then. Bye~”

I had lunch with Kyungsoo the following days too cause I really enjoyed his company. I somehow got attached to him faster than I thought. Even though we’ve only known each other for a  little more than a week I felt safe with him and I could tell him things that I could only share with my closest friends. I even told him my story with Kai and about our break up. This has never happened to me before cause I’m a very cautious person and I don’t easily trust people and it usually took me way longer than a week to consider someone being a friend of mine. With Kyungsoo it was just different.

~ O ~