A sudden jolt of memory

“Why did you leave me!?”

She is standing just in front of me by now and despite my obvious fear, I’m still not getting what exactly it is that she’s asking me. I never left her…I…did I?

“Why didn’t you come after me?”

And she goes on like that, blaming me for something I didn’t do…or at least something I didn’t know I did, did I? Or maybe she’s just sick? She’s pregnant after all.

Freaking hell! I don’t know! Has the world finally gone crazy!?

You’re not leaving me anymore Hankyung

Hankyung…

“Hankyung…Hankyung, you freaking missy! I swear if you wake up right now I shall personally shut that beeping monitor up. You better be thankful I didn’t throw a fist at you or you really won’t get a chance to wake up even with the stupid doctors here helping your girly .”

Those were the first strings of words my ears have collected when I broke out my reverie, eyes probably bloodshot, and my whole body breaking in a slight convulsion. When I was able to lift my eyelids up, I see a familiar face, so known to me yet so foreign. Taking my time to study his features, pale skin with still a kiss of yellow, peachy dry lips, wide conveying eyes, long thin fingers twirled around golden locks with hinted streaks of honey brown. Face a sculpted pity and regret, mournful yet relieved, cheerless yet beautiful.

“Hee…” My mouth uttered what my mind unconsciously knew, something I figured out in exactly 4 seconds after I did, and then I snap.

“Heechul!?” I force my (I discover now) completely bruised body up to try to reach him. Gladly it wasn’t very hard as he was sitting right beside the bed, I couldn’t be happier, though the snapping of the needle being pulled halfway out my skin is extremely ruining it.

I’m not sure why I’m doing the things I am, but I do it. Palming and searching any trace of it from him, anything...nothing.

“Get your head back down moron! What, you’re trying to kill yourself after I earned a bruise from saving your fainting ? And stop squishing my face, just stay there and I’ll call for the nurse.” I see him stand up, panic floods over me that instant and I try desperately to think of anything I could possibly say to make him stay but I choke on my words as I my body began to shake unbearably, the cause may be of fatigue or simply fear.

“Hey! You pull yourself together!” his voice was still rough and commanding but his eyes…in his eyes I see only worry and grief. He grabs a hold of either of my arms tightly, trying to steady my body and calm me down from my fit. He lets go only for less than a second to press a red button above my bed and laid me down when I was drifting to sleep, again. But I don’t want to. I don’t want to see it again. It was horrifying; the feel of a perfect life was horrifying. And he seemed to notice that same fear etched in my face because despite my small shivers, I felt his grip stiffen under my neck as he settled me down. So a part of me was asking how long this will last or was it just really because his plan got a bit of a turn.

But the last thing I saw before I out was a small glitter on either of his eyes and frankly, it was enough to ease my frantic mind and put me to rest, again. I’m not exactly fond of blacking out now.

I was discharged early this morning. Roughly a day after based from what the people in the hospital told me.

The doctors gave me permission to walk home now that I’m more than halfway through full recovery, just a few bruises left so I’m all good.

I’m still a little vague on the details so I don’t really know who to thank, well besides the doctors and the nurses who attended to me and my aunt whom I heard had rushed to the hospital after hearing about it from some unknown source, the nurses say she was too busy being stuck in her own paranoia and was continuously touching my face, so clearly, she wasn’t able to tell them whoever informed her about my case. I’m thankful either way.

Now, the only thing left for me to do is to figure out what was going on when I was completely out of it. I mean, yea…I can definitely remember a lot but I don’t know which one was made up by my crazy, delusional mind and which one I was really seeing. And heck! I don’t really think my Aunt stopped by my apartment to feed Heebum! The poor baby!

“Heebum?” I rushed inside as soon as I opened the door to look for my cat (who isn’t really my cat), which’s probably dying by now.

Count a minute more and I find him, finally, inside my room. Honestly, I didn’t expect him to be there.

Hell, I didn’t expect him to be there rolling around in the covers like he hasn’t been food-deprived for a day and a half.

“Hey baby.” He twitched as soon as he heard my voice, and started to scamper towards me like he missed me or something.  Oaww…the sweet guy.

“You hungry? Sorry I haven’t been home to take care of you but…well you know the usual.”

I fix him a bowl of cat food and laid it on the sofa beside me, placing Heebum beside it so I could watch him eat. He barely touched it though before he runs back and starts climbing on my shoulders again.

Funny…

“Hmm? You barely touched your food. Are you alright?” I felt him purr against my hand as he’s still desperately trying to climb to my head. Looks like someone was able to feed him when I was out, have to ask grandpa downstairs, the least I could do was thank him if he was the one who took care of Heebum for me. Well he’s the only one who has spare keys to all the rooms so it couldn’t possibly have been anyone else could it?

“Can you tell me who’s been taking care of you while I was gone? Huh, little guy?

I hear him struggle on my shoulders and I decide to just let him up to save him the trouble.

Well, I tried right?

And as much as I would really want to talk to my cat all day long, I still need to prepare for school tomorrow. Yes, life must go on, even though your life almost ended in the gutter just a day or so ago.

Indeed, there are no excuses.

I’m most certainly sure what happened to me is no excuse to Heechul once he sees me back and well, no matter, we have a lot of unfinished business left to discuss.