“Hey Onew hyung.” The deep voice startled Jinki out of his thoughts, and he looked over to see Minho casually leaning on the lockers beside him. His long legs crossed one over the other, his arms folded in a laid back way and his expression was cool and collected; Jinki gave him a slight smile before turning back to his books in his locker. Minho was making him uncomfortable.

“Key wants you to come over his place today. He kind of had to leave early for an appointment, but he told me to you to drive you there. That’s cool, right?”

“Um. Yeah. That’s fine. Just, let me…” Jinki pulled out one more book and slammed his locker shut. “We can go now.”

“Cool.” Minho walked ahead, while Jinki trailed behind, his knuckles turning white from holding his bag strap tighter than he should. He watched as Minho would take his steps, composed and with a certain air of authority. People moved out of his way as they went through crowded hallway areas. Several students would greet him and Minho would nod in acknowledgement, not with rudeness or arrogance but with just enough friendliness as to not throw away his cool image. The differences between him and Minho reminded Jinki of how far away they were on the social ladder; a status that he knew always existed but had forgotten about for a while. But at the moment, he remembered.

Jinki sat in the backseat when they arrived at the car, but Minho didn’t say anything about it. “I need to pick up my little sister and take her home first,” he informed and Jinki nodded though he wasn’t sure if Minho could see his through his mirror. Jinki didn’t know what was worse; riding in a car with Jonghyun and Taemin while feeling left out or being in a car with Minho and feeling inferior.

They waited in front of the middle school, watching the students pour out the doors. Kids were hanging around waiting to be picked up or waiting for their friends to come out so they could walk home together. Jinki remembered walking home with Kibum every day. He remembered feeling lucky to have a best friend like Kibum, someone to confide in and to remind him that he was indeed a good person. They were all distant memories now, as if they occurred during a different lifetime.

When the front seat door suddenly opened then slammed shut, Jinki came back to the present. Kibum was no longer his best friend; Kibum was now Key, Key loved Minho and Minho was above him. Jinki felt hurt and uncomfortable.

“Hi!” The bright voice made Jinki take full notice of the young girl peering over the front seat to get a good look at him. Just like Minho, her eyes were dark as was her hair, but her smile was bright and beautiful. Something about her was familiar though.

“Sulli?” he blurted out without really thinking. Her face contorted in confusion.

“How’d you know?”

Jinki let out a half embarrassed laugh. “Just, I’ve seen you before at a dance recital. And I have some friends who take lessons with you.”

“Really?” she asked looking back at Jinki with interest. “Who?”

“Just, ya know, Taemin and Luna.”

“Oh,” she said plainly, all interest lost, turning face forward into her seat.

“Wasn’t Taemin your partner?” Minho asked without looking away from the road.

“He was, but he was annoying so I asked to change partners,” Sulli said bitterly.

“How was he annoying?”

“None of your business!” she snapped folding her arms in annoyance. “Where are you going anyways? Mom and Dad won’t stop complaining because you’re out of the house so much without telling them exactly where you go.”

Jinki noticed Minho tighten his grip on the steering wheel and his shoulders tense. It was subtle, but he noticed. ”I’m just going to a friend’s house.”

Sulli scoffed. “That’s what you always say.”

“Well it’s not like it’s any of your business, right?” Minho said as he pulled up in front of a house. Sulli unbuckled her seatbelt and spat, “Fine! If mom and dad take away your car then don’t blame it on me,” before getting out of the car and going into the house.

Jinki watched Minho as his breathing was harsh from anger, and he waited until the other calmed down. He waited so he could ask, “they don’t know about Key, do they?”

“They know him,” Minho said tiredly.

“But you said you were going to a friend’s house…?”

“They know him.” Minho repeated. “They just …don’t know about him being with me.”

“Oh,” Jinki replied. He was surprised; if he had Key by his side, he’d feel immensely proud. “Your family doesn’t know you have a boyfriend.”

 Minho sighed. “I guess you can say that.”

“But...why?”

“It’s complicated.” Minho pulled into a familiar driveway and turned around to look over at Jinki. His face wasn’t furious, but it seemed uncomfortable and Jinki found it a bit humorous that for once, he wasn’t the one with the feeling. “Promise you won’t bring it up in front of Key. He doesn’t need to know yet.”

“Oh-okay…”

~~~~~

Jinki remembered having dreams. Sometimes they were nice, like a fairytale wedding where he and Kibum could join together for all eternity. Others were not so nice; he’d be stuck in a vast room filled with all the people he’s ever cared for but he can’t reach them because he’s chained to the wall. His hands struggle to have some kind of contact with anybody willing to listen but no one even looks his way. Jinki wants to call out to them for help, but not a single sound comes no matter how loud he yells.

Sometimes a familiar silhouette stands in front of Jinki and with a squint he recognizes Kibum. He’ll even smile down at him with his familiar friendly eyes. “Help me please,” Jinki would say with a hoarse voice, tired out from his calling. But then Kibum’s smile turns into a smirk and suddenly he’s different; he’s Key now and he has no connection with Jinki so he walks away as if he never saw him in the first place. Jinki is left alone and helpless.

Its dreams like this that make Jinki doubt his progress.

~~~~~

Jinki looked over at the various mannequins lined up by the wall, each one dressed in an exquisite and unique outfit. Each piece of clothing had such originality they he knew it could only come from someone like Key. The more he looked at the clothes, the more he felt like he didn’t belong here.

“These are the outfits that I had in mind. Of course they still need to be altered to your body type but that shouldn’t be too hard. What do you think?”

“They’re um…nice?” Jinki answered unsure.

“You haven’t changed at all,” Key chuckled in amusement as he stepped in closer towards Jinki. “Minho, get me my measuring tape from the top desk drawer, will ya?” Up close Key can see his childhood friend tremble from the nerves. Jinki wondered if he knew of the affect he had over him, if he enjoyed making him feel so exhilarated.

“So about your friend,” Key starts casually while toying with the collar on Jinki’s shirt. “What exactly happened with him and Jjong?”

It’s was just a simple question, but that alone made so many thoughts run through his head. He thought of Taemin’s tears and Jjong’s frustrated pacing. One was simply naïve and the other misunderstood. Jinki didn’t know which side was the right side to be on. He had been Taemin’s friend for years, but Jjong made his way in even with all the resistance Jinki had made. They were his friends and he needed to protect them.

“What have you heard?” Jinki asked back.

“Just that the little one put out,” Key told. Minho had handed him the measuring tape and took a seat nearby. Jinki would much enjoy the feeling of Key’s hands on his body if his boyfriend was watching so carefully. “I’m not really surprised though,” Key continued. “Jjong has a way with words. He could seduce anyone of his choice.”

“And how would you know that?” Minho asked back a bit too quickly.

“Relax, babe. That was before I met you,” Key reassured. Minho still seemed a bit bothered but he allowed the statement to ease himself, silently sitting nearby to just quietly observe. Jinki doesn’t really know how to handle being in the presence of the obvious affection between the other two. Sure, Key was feeling him up to measure him, but the tone of voice he used with Minho was different.

“But anyways,” Keys voice cut in. “Your friend is a bit young to be into that stuff, right?”

“Taemin is a smart kid,” Jinki defended.

“Not saying he wasn’t, babe,” Key said cooly as he’s writing down his measurements. “But the poor kid must be taking it kinda hard. I’ve seen him around and he looks so jumpy. Must be hard knowing people are talking about you nonstop. Not in a good way at least.”

“He just…he’s confused. He doesn’t know what to do,” Jinki tells. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Remember when we were kids and we’d play in my yard?” Key asked all of a sudden. “How one time I accidentally dropped my Spiderman toy from the top of the tree?

“Yeah,” Jinki smiled fondly at the memory. “You were too scared to come down after seeing how far down the toy fell.”

“But you climbed all the way up for me, even though you had never done it before,” Key said tenderly. “You were the super hero that saved me and I’ll never forget that.”

“Really?” Jinki questioned. He was surprised; he never thought he had helped anyone before.

”You’re good enough to save your friends. You’ll always be a super hero, okay?”

~~~~~

On the way back home, Jinki sat in the front seat of Minho’s car. It wasn’t really his choice; it was more Minho’s request. “Tell me,” he began. “How did you two meet?”

“Huh?”

“You and Kibum. How’d you become friends?” For a moment, it shocks Jinki how Minho just used his friend’s first name. It made it harder to think of the couple as Minho and Key instead of Minho and Kibum.

Kibum had always just been his. “I can’t really remember a time I didn’t know him. Our mothers went to university together. With all the planned play dates, we naturally formed a friendship.”

“Alright,” Minho said taking in the information for later reference. “Let me ask you something and I want you to be honest. Do you love him?”

Jinki stuttered. His answer wasn’t convincing at all and he knows it but his affection for his childhood friend was something he could lie about.

“Key says lots about you so I trust everything he says about you is true. It’s really cute that you have this crush on him, but I’m asking you to please respect our relationship.” Minho requested. “He’s my boyfriend so I would appreciate if you would just.. try and move on?”

Jinki thought of the question as he was dropped off at home and thought of it all that night. His response was simple.

If I could, I would.

~~~~~

There wasn’t any sound but the playing of the guitar and Jjong’s voice. He wasn’t exactly playing a song, but he kept strumming away and singing any fitting lines that he could come up with. It was a song on loop but the words were different every time. Jinki liked the sound of it; it was the pure sound of heartbreak and it felt like he could relate to someone for once in his life.

The tempo was slow, but it was smooth almost sensual. It was a romantic tragedy being heard out loud. “It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do… “Jjong’s voice sang, that ongoing record.

Jinki was conflicted. Taemin wasn’t ready to confront the situation and he was humiliated with having other’s pry into his love life. People he didn’t know and that never cared for him, people who wanted nothing more than the latest piece of gossip. But Jjong was more than ready to make things right, so it made it hard to maintain that resolve with Taemin constantly avoiding him.

Jjong said it was inspiration. It would help with their song entry somehow. He was an optimistic type of guy and it was a new side if him that Jinki had never really noticed before.

“And I’d never dreamed I’d lose somebody like you….”

People lose friends and gain some more throughout life. Jinki was still amazed how much he had come to feel comfortable around his blonde friend. He was spending the night in his room and sharing a bed was the most intimate gesture Jinki could bring himself to do. He was happy to let him in, to let himself be consumed by his friend’s voice.

They were each lost in their own thoughts but they’d never know how similar they were. They thought of heartache and losing friends. They feel the pounding need to get something done to make things all better. They fall into a slumber to find hope, to find answers.

“What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you…”

Jinki dreamt of superheroes. 

It took me a long time to find some sort of inspiration for this piece but it finally came together and I'm proud! Lyrics taken from the song Wicked Game by Chris Isaak. Now that I've got the flow again, I'll update soon! 

Check out my other stories if you're instersted <3 

Thank you for all the support!