~~~~~ 

There’s that girl who appears to be strong willed and seems to not let other’s opinions affect her in the slightest. She’s a confident free spirit who wants to find her own way in life; she wants her friends and family to be happy. She wants them to look at how far she’s gone in life and be proud of her.

What a shame she depended so much on other people’s impression of her.

~~~~~

Jinki stumbled backwards at feeling someone harshly pulling him by his backpack, making him stop dead in his tracks and a very concerned looking Luna graced his vision. “He’s at your house, right? The question asked with confidence.

Jinki gulped somehow a bit nervous by seeing just how serious the other girl was being. “He?” he asked back with a shaky voice.

“Taemin didn’t come to school today and if he’s not hanging off that blonde idiot and since he doesn’t bother with me anymore he must have been with you. Am I right?” He pulled away from the girl’s hold, a bit surprised at the anger in her tone.

“How do you know Taemin’s not with Jjong? He wasn’t in school today either.”

“Sure he was. I saw him hanging around all day so I’m guessing he just skipped all his classes.” The blonde sighed when she didn’t get an immediate answer from Jinki. “Just tell me if he’s at your house, please? I want to go see him,” explaining her intentions.

The older brunette visibly relaxed. He wasn’t used to having friends be angry with him. A look of uncertainty on his face as he told the girl “Not that I’m trying to purposely keep you away from him, but he’s not feeling so great and I’m not sure if he really feels like seeing people…”

“I’ve heard what people are saying.” She admitted. “I didn’t want to make any assumptions about if the rumors are true or not without hearing it from him. But that little voice inside my head keeps telling me that I need to help my friend who’s been like my twin brother since we were little. And in order for me to do that, I need to know what going on.’

Running a hand through her golden locks, Luna sighed, her eyes portraying a grief of some sort. “So …is it true? She asked carefully.

Sometimes Jinki forgot about how young Luna really was. She may have been quite mature for her age and knew how to handle herself without much help, but she was also only fourteen years old, just like Taemin. They were kids. And kids, as smart as they can be, don’t know everything. Jinki was supposed to be the adult to help them out. He wasn’t sure if he was doing his job right and suddenly he was overcome with guilt.

“Take this.” Reaching into his bag and pulling out his key, he handed it to Luna, with the instructions “Take care of him for me until I get there, ok? Minnie stayed at my place over the weekend so he should be in my room, but try to be quiet since he might be asleep.”

The halfhearted grin that came from the girl made Jinki’s heart pang with guilt. She was usually such a brilliant sight with her contagious smile, yet here she was a bit insecure and probably feeling useless. She was usually such a strong girl and in a way, she almost looked broken. “Is it true?” she repeated in a soft voice to which Jinki nodded as an answer.

Luna ran.

~~~~~

Jinki was shaking out the pills from the orange plastic bottle into his palm when Jjong came into the room with two bottles of water. “I didn’t know you had to take medicine,” the blonde said as he held out a bottle.” Jinki took the bottle that was offered to him and said, “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

Jjong takes a seat on the couch and jokes. “Like what? You afraid of spiders?”

“No,” Jinki said seriously, not going along with the joking mood. He stares at the pills in his hand and confessed,” I’m afraid of people.”

“People?”

“Yeah. Even if they’re really nice, people make me uncomfortable. It’s not easy for me to make friends, but some people, I’m completely comfortable with them and I don’t know why. That’s why when I make friends, I cherish them because I know how hard it is to put trust in people, and when someone puts trust in me, it’s an honor. My friends are there for me to protect because I never want them to feel hurt like I do. I feel hurt all the time, hence why I take medicine to control it.”

When Jinki looked over at Jjong, he looked away with guilt. “You probably think I’m a total after what happened with me and Taemin right?” Jinki merely shrugged, stuffing the pills into his mouth and taking a whiff of water to make it go down. Jjong scoffed.

“Ya know, there’s a lot you don’t know about me either. And you can’t believe everything people say about me.” Jinki watched as the other stood up beginning to pace and ruffle his hair in frustration. “I’ll admit that I’ve had my fair share of partners but I’ve never thrown them away after ‘getting lucky’ just for fun. That’s not me and people who say I do things like that, well, they don’t know me either. Hell, even most of my friends don’t know nothing about the real me!”

Jjong flopped back on the couch. “Don’t you wonder where my parents are? Well they’re away a lot of the time,” he answered his own question. “I surround myself with people so I don’t feel lonely.”

“Is that why you’ve been coming to my house so often?”

“I guess you can say that? I mean, there’s no reason for this house to be so big if no one’s gonna be in it.” Jjong paused, turning to Jinki and he smiled. “But since you’re here, this place doesn’t seem so empty. But I guess that’s your job right? To protect me from being lonely?”

Jinki blinked. “I…I guess so?”

“And friends keep secrets,” Jjong added with a mischievous smirk. “Like your crush on Kim Key, although it’s so obvious I’m not sure it’s much of a secret to anyone.”

“Yah!” Jinki exclaimed throwing a pillow at the other while trying to hide his embarrassment and Jjong laughed. “Why do you like him anyways? I know he’s a hot piece of but still…” 

“Look, that isn’t the important thing right now.” Jinki said sternly. “What I wanna know is how you really feel about Taemin.”

Jjong’s grin faded away at the sudden serious mood. “I know there’s an age difference and maybe I should have been smarter on how far to take things since I’m the older one. I rushed things more than I should have, I’m aware. But... I like seeing the kid laugh and quite honestly his smile makes my heart skip a beat and all that cliché ,” he confessed.

Jinki wanted Taemin to be happy and he wanted Jjong to feel good. But he wanted to be the cause of their disappearing hurt. He didn’t know what he could do to help rumors, so all he could say was, ”I’m glad to hear that.”

Jjong remained silent, lost in his thoughts. Jinki wondered if the blonde ever thought of him when he was alone or when he would hang out with Taemin. If they were friends- the term no longer made him feel as uncomfortable as before- then did that mean that Jjong worried about him too?

“I have some lyrics,” Jjong interrupted. “You should look at them, give some feedback and such. Is that alright?”

Jinki listened to Jjong’s words as he sang but he was far too uncomfortable to join in the song.

~~~~~

When Jinki returned home, he found a sleeping redheaded boy in his bed and a blonde girl gently the red locks. The sight was calm yet painful, like seeing the remains of a town after a hurricane. The madness has stopped but the damage was unbearable to look at without wanting to breakdown. “He hasn’t woken up?” he asked softly.

Luna shook her head. “He’s so worn out. I can’t even imagine what he’s feeling right now. Do you think he’ll be okay?” she turned to ask Jinki.

Taemin was a positive kid and Luna was a strong girl. But what Jinki saw at that moment was a Taemin who seemed like he had drowned from his tears and a Luna who, for once, couldn’t hold her head up, and instead bowed her head in shame. “How did this happen?” she asked in a shaky voice. “How did things become so different between us?”

Jinki sat beside Luna and wiped the hair away from her face. “I don’t know,” he replied honestly. The blonde leaned onto the brunette’s shoulder and they both looked down at their young friend. “Do you think this can be fixed?”

Jinki exhaled. “I don’t know, but I’ll find a way.”

~~~~~

Jinki nervously shook his leg as he felt Dr. Han’s gaze on him. Everything looked exactly the same as the last time he went in the room, but he felt different each time. He didn’t know what to feel. “Onew, relax,” Dr. Han said with a slight laugh. “You’ve been regular with your antidepressants and you’re on time with your appointment. You’re not in trouble,” he said as he leaned back in his chair in a casual manner but still maintaining that professional aura. “So tell me. What’s up?”

“Well,” Jinki started. “I’ve been talking to Taemin more. But he’s hurt right now.”

“How so?”

“He went to a party with Jjong, and they ended up having…ya know. And he, I don’t know. I guess you can say he’s feeling insecure.”

“I see,” Dr. Han said idly as he jots down his notes, notes that Jinki doesn’t understand the need to be taken if they’re being tape recorded. “Not to sound so stereotypical, but how does Jjong and Taemin being in some sort of relationship make you feel?”

“Um, I was fine with it really. It made me feel awkward seeing them together sometimes though. But now that both of them are hurt, I’m not sure what to feel. There has to be something I can do to help, right?”

“You can always show support,” Dr. Han said. “But remember that you’re not a shield. You’re human and you can only do so much. Their situation is something that your friends are going to have to figure out on their own because they are the ones who experienced it.”

“But it’s possible right? That their friendship can be saved?”

“Any friendship can be saved if both ends do their part.”

“Exactly!” Jinki lit up. “Like me and Key! We can be saved right? I mean, we’ve been talking more lately and he even asked me to be a model for his show! Minho was going to do it at first, but apparently so can’t so I’m the one filling in.”

“You seem quite excited. It’s funny, I didn’t think you were one for fashion,” Dr. Han. said playfully.

Jinki let out an awkward laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well…no. But Key said I will make a good model. He knows what he’s doing and I trust his judgment,” he nodded as if to convince himself to believe the words coming out of his mouth. “I believe that we can fix things between us. Friendships can be saved, right?”

“Only when both ends do their part.”

Jinki wanted a lot of things. He wanted his friends to not feel hurt. He wanted to feel happy. He wanted to be happy with Key in his life. Jinki wanted Key’s trust even though he had already given it to Jjong without even realizing it.

~~~~~

So. I've got some explaining to do, right?

I'll keep it short and simple. My computer comitted suicide so i lost all my work. I'm re-writing all my writing as well as re-doing all my work from school etc .etc.

I re-wrote  this story because the original was horrendous and the thoughts weren't clearly portrayed so I hope it's easier to understand now. It's longet now too xD 

I have the next chapter outlined already so an update won't take so long (hopefully!) 

I hope this was worth the wait? Comment if you wish!