Jinki jumped at feeling Luna’s abrupt presence at their courtyard table; her annoyed facial expression made it obvious she was very displeased. “I’m seriously pissed off.” Jinki’s speculation confirmed.

“What happened?”

“I haven’t seen Taemin all damn day,” she scowled. “We have two classes together today and he didn’t show up at any of them. And he better not give me crap about not being in school today, I’ve already seen him twice today and he didn’t even acknowledge me!”

Jinki flinched at the sound of the blonde’s lunch bag slammed onto the table. “Did you guys argue or something?” he asked slowly.

“No. I haven’t even talked to him since yesterday morning,” she huffed as she angrily opened her lunch. “What if he actually believes what Sulli and those other girls are saying about me?”

“But didn’t you say you and Minnie talked about this?”

“We did! And he said that I should just work with Kai… which now that I think about it is weird because normally we wouldn’t care what other people say about us and just do whatever we want. What if he just said that so I can stay away from him?” Looking down at her lunch, she sighed sadly. It was something she had been doing a lot lately because of Taemin. “Maybe it’s not just at dance class. Maybe he just doesn’t want to be around me at all anymore.”

“No, no don’t think that,” Jinki tried to console. “He’s probably just having one of those days when he doesn’t feel like talking to anybody. Everybody gets those, right?”

“It’s weird though. Even when he has those days, he’s never ignored me. I’m usually the first one he talks to about these things.” Exhaling again, the blonde pushed her lunch forward closer to the brunette. “You can have this. I’m not all that hungry anymore.”

Jinki didn’t think it was the right moment to mention that from behind her he could spot the red head sitting at a different table with a certain blonde boy named Jjong.

~~~~~

“Why are you staring at me?” asked Jinki when he felt the other’s intense gaze from the corner of his eye. Jjong leaned in closer and intently examined the other’s face. “Are you sure you’re older than me?” he questioned. “You don’t look like it.”

“We’ve been over this already. Yes, I’m older. One year older. See?” Jinki said raising the school ID that was hanging around his neck revealing his birth date.

Jjong raised his arms in mock defense. “Gosh no need to get so snappy. I was just saying you look young. “

The brunette let out a deep breathe. “Sorry. It’s just that we still have a lot to finish with this assignment and I really just wanna get it out of the way so we can focus on our contest entry,” he apologized.

“Yeah, yeah ok I agree. Focusing and stuff, I can do that,” Jjong nodded enthusiastically while resuming his reading from the textbook. Jinki was quite content with the silence and started to feel a bit proud that Jjong was actually centering his attention on his studies without a distraction.

He was proud, that is, until he heard the sound of buttons at a rapid speed. “Please tell me you’re not texting right now,” Jinki pleaded.

“I’m not?” Jjong replied not even trying to hide how obvious he was being.

“I’m serious right now. Unless it’s your parents or a serious emergency, then put the phone away,” Jinki demanded.

“Relax, relax,” the other replied coolly, while sliding his phone back in his pocket. “I’m texting Taemin. That red head is seriously a major catch. I’m just trying to see what I can do with him.”

“Do with him?” The brunette replied incredulously. He didn’t even know when those two had suddenly gotten so close. The thought made his head spin, and there was the discomfort once more. “You do realize that he’s only fourteen years old right? And you’re eighteen?”

Jjong shrugged his shoulders unaffected by the statement. “So there’s an age difference. Big deal. It’s not like I’m trying to him. I just wanna know more about the kid so forgive me for wanting to meet new people.”

“Don’t you already know enough people?” Jinki snapped back a little too angrily. He immediately noticed the jealousy in his voice, and it was obvious Jjong knew as he leaned back with a slight smirk on his face and replied smoothly, “Ya know, if you weren’t so moody then you’d be way more attractive. Maybe then Key wouldn’t be with Minho right now.”

That statement alone was enough to keep Jinki awake all night.

~~~~~

“It’s good to see you again, Onew-shi.”

“You too,” replied the boy with a weary smile as he took a seat of the plush couch. He gave a brief look over the room; the place seemed strange even though he had been in this office many times before. The walls still had a soft pastel green color and the large wooden desk still had an authorative type feel with its many files of various patients that had similar problems to Jinki. In a way it was comforting for Jinki to know that there were people who were going through problems like his own, but it also made him insecure. Was he really any different from the other patients that all sat on the same couch? What made him so special?

“Things not going so great?” asked the man behind the desk with genuinely concerned but soft eyes. Dr. Han was a decent man. He had a beautiful wife with whom he had been married to for almost twenty years and two beautiful kids- Jinki knew this from the picture that was always resting on his desk. Dr. Han had studied and worked in the field of psychiatry for many years, even winning various awards along the way; another obvious fact given away by the trophies on display outside his office and the certificates on the wall behind him.

Jinki knew that Dr. Han was only there to help. In fact, he had helped more than what he thought was possible throughout the past year and there was no reason he couldn’t do it again. Jinki didn’t know why he still had his doubts. "What makes you say that?" He asked in a soft voice, not able to make eye contact with the older man.

"Well it’s not often that you call to meet up so urgently. Especially since this isn't your regular time slot so I'm presuming that you don't feel so great," he voiced. Adjusting his frames he looked down at his notes and back at Jinki. Dr. Han always recorded their conversation with tapes, so it was a wonder why he still bothered to take notes. Maybe that kind of detail is what earned him the recognition displayed around the office. "Of course this is only my assumption.” Dr. Han continued.  “Only you know what’s up, right?"

"I...I'm not sure," Jinki answered back honestly.

"There's skepticism in your feelings," noted Dr. Han. "Are you perhaps holding back on something?”

Jinki looked down at his hands; the habit of playing with his finger when he was anxious never did go away. There was no reason to have a doubt that things were not going okay for him. He was hurting though he didn’t know why exactly. "More like holding on," he said without really realizing it.

"To something." Dr. Han repeated.

"And to someone," Jinki confirmed. "I can’t stop thinking. I think of being alone and I think of people. I think of what it’s like being with certain people and being without certain people. I...I think of Key. I think of Key a lot. I think of Key with Minho.” He could already feel himself start to shake. He cursed his heart for being so weak.

"There's a guy Key introduced me to named Minho. Tall, big dark eyes, small face and well-toned body...he's perfect really," Jinki described with a forced smile though he knew his voice was quivering. "He's done what I could never do and now I have no choice but to watch my heart's owner in the arms of someone else."

"This conclusion of this Minho being perfect. Where's that coming from exactly?"

"He has to be of high standard if an angel like Key could love him. And it’s kinda hard to accept it.” Jinki paused. “But I’ve been trying new things to keep my mind busy like you said I should the last time we talked."

"Well that’s good," praised the doctor. "What sorts of things have you been up to?"

“Um I started singing again actually. Or at least I’m trying to. I’m even entered in a singing contest,” Jinki looked up slightly to get a glance of Dr. Han’s reaction. He was nodding in an attentive matter, signaling for the boy to continue talking so he did. “It’s this event called the Annual Scouting Contest. Apparently it’s held every year in Seoul. Someone brought it to my attention so I just… went for it?”

“So you signed up to not think of Key and everything else that revolves him. Am I correct?”

 “Well,” Jinki said scratching the back of his neck, “not exactly. I just, well. Well ya see,” he cleared his voice. “I didn’t know Key was with Minho when I signed up for the contest. Someone from my class actually came up to me and asked me to enter with him, ya know, like partners. So I just did.”

 “I see,” said Dr. Han as he looked at his notes briefly then back up at the boy. “Your partner. Tell me about him.”

Jinki paused for a brief moment. What exactly could he say? “He and I are not friends. We just work together”

“I’m not asking you to tell me his darkest secrets or anything of that sort. I’m asking you to tell me about him. Surely you must know something about him because I know very well that Lee Onew wouldn’t do something as personal as singing with a random stranger.” Dr. Han leaned back casually and crossed his arms; somehow when the action didn’t look intimidating despite being such a respected man. “He must mean something to you if you agreed so willingly to work with him.”

“You really wanna know about him?” Jinki asked voice still shaky with a mix of sadness and nerves. “Jjong is my classmate. Handsome and perfect in everyone’s eyes and because of that he can do whatever he wants. Lately I’ve been helping him out with his English assignments. He can’t be serious to save his life and...” Jinki took a deep breath to cool down before continuing. “He’s the most musically gifted person I have ever met. His voice is as rich as velvet and his lyrics can rival the works of Shakespeare. He’s a prince charming ready to sweep a lover off their feet.”

“You’re conflicted,” Dr. Han discerned. “You speak so lowly of him by stating that you two aren’t even friends and yet your thoughts are so high. Do you think you could be resisting a friendship with him?”

Jinki knew this was true. It was very out of his character that he allowed this person into the privacy of his bedroom and it baffled him that he felt more comfortable than he believed he should being with Jjong. He was too scared to let their relationship make any progress; it was too risky to let his trust be played with again. He was already constantly fighting this hurting feeling that lurked inside him, and he didn’t know if he could handle being betrayed by someone. You can’t feel betrayed if you were never their friend right? Wasn’t Jjong already hurting him without being his friend?

“He’s been hanging around Taemin a lot lately…” Jinki revealed. “I don’t want to lose another friend.”