The blonde groaned in frustration and slammed the textbook shut not wanting to read another foreign word. “We’ve been going at this for like an hour. Can we stop now?”

Jinki looked up from his own book and frowned. “But we’re not even half way done and the assignment is due tomorrow.”

“All this reading is making my head burst. Can’t we at least take a break?”

“Fine, fine,” Jinki sighed dejectedly, not really wanting to stop after only studying for half an hour but still consented as he closed his book and set it on the nightstand. “What do we do in the meantime?”

“We could always just talk.” Jjong suggested.

“What about?”

“Stuff.” The blonde pretended to contemplate out loud. “How about you tell me about your friend? That cute red head from earlier today.”

Confusion was clearly written on the brunette’s face. “Why should I?”

“Think of it as being even,” the other explained, switching positions so that he was now laying on his side, elbow propped on the bed and hand supporting his head. “You asked me about my friend, Minho and so it’s only fair I ask you about your friends. What’s his name, again?”

“Taemin?”

“Yeah him,” Jjong grinned shamefully. “Tell me about him. He as cute as he seems?”

“Yeah, he’s a cute kid. He’s bright and cheerful about almost everything in general…unless you try to eat his food. Then he’ll probably try to cut off your fingers and eat them raw,” Jinki said with a soft laugh. Sometimes you don’t realize how weird your friends are until you describe them to other people.

“You don’t say?” The blonde chuckled. ”He seems quite young though.”

“Well he’s fourteen now, but he’ll turn fifteen over the summer, and um, yeah. I’m an only child so it’s nice to have someone who’s like a younger brother. Ya know, even though he already has an older brother. You might know him, actually. He’s around your age though I don’t know if you’d be in the same classes...”Jinki thought out loud.

“Hey, slow down,” Jjong laughed grabbing onto Jinki’s wrist to get him to stop. “One thing at a time. What’s his brother’s name?”

With an embarrassed laugh, the brunette shook the other’s hand off of him. “Um, his name is Taesun. Lee Taesun?”

“Taesun…Taesun…” Jjong thought over briefly. “Sounds familiar. I’ll have to look him up or something.”

“He’s not so bad. I don’t see him much but he’s always been nice. He and his brother look a lot alike but it’s hard to tell since Taemin’s hair is such a vivid color”

“What’s up with that anyway?” the blonde questioned. “Most kids that young aren’t even allowed to dye their hair.”

“Yeah well his parents are pretty open-minded about stuff like that so when he asked to dye his hair red to suit his image for dance they didn’t make much of it.”

“A dancer?” Jjong smirked, turning to lie on his back and stare at the celling. “The kid must have some pretty impressive moves then. I should definitely check him out some time.”

Jinki was completely oblivious to the statement. Instead he shrugged and reached out for his textbook once more.

~~~~~

School work was starting to pile up for Jinki from all the distractions of the previous week. It took a lot for him to focus on assignments these past days and the added stress didn’t help his anxiety at all. When he discovered that he had no hope for graduating with his own class and had to repeat senior year, he vowed to make up all the lost effort from previous wasted time; double if possible.

Jinki wasn’t even sure how his life went on outside of his control the previous year. The feelings he thought he had mastered at hiding were ironically shown so visibly in his reluctance to speak and his refusal to do anything besides lie in his bed with a straight face and staring off into nothing.

Not even writing helped at that time. Jinki hadn’t wanted to write to himself anymore. He wasn’t worth reading about his misery with the slight possibility that maybe he could save himself. It wasn’t worth the risk of someone else finding what he wrote and possibly saving him. He had crawled into his lonely world and just stared ahead with little hope that someone would let him know he was important to somebody and he wouldn’t be pushed aside any longer.

It took a lot of time to help patch up his emotions and make that feeling of uselessness disappear, but he was still healing. He was still scarred.

Key looked stunning as ever when Jinki spotted the boy across the hall getting books from his locker that morning. The boy cut his locks to a shorter style and the bright blonde hair had been dyed to a beautiful chocolate brown. The new appearance accentuated Key’s sensual dark eyes and sharp facial features, and his pale skin glowed. The sight made Jinki’s heart clench. The confession he never set free was eating him alive and he swore that maybe he was a masochist or cannibalistic or something along that line because he almost enjoyed the stinging in his eyes from unreleased tears and the further devastation of his sanity that was eating him alive.

He took Jjong’s words to heart and chose to believe that Minho could take care of Key very well- though he didn’t know where this baseless trust in the school’s womanizer was coming from. Key would live the way he wanted; with a legendary high school reputation, with many friends and a perfect partner. Jinki would simply sit by and watch his former friend be happy without having him in his life.

The words of his essay all came to a blur the more he looked at the computer screen. Logging out and gathering his things, he decided to leave the silence of the library which quite honestly wasn’t doing anything to brighten his mood. There was still plenty of time to go to the courtyard and eat lunch with Taemin and Luna but he opted to be alone and wander the halls before heading to class.

~~~~~

Jinki scanned the school grounds after classes were over. He began to walk towards the red head he spotted waiting by the parking lot but paused in his tracks when he noticed that Taemin wasn’t only talking with his older brother but with a familiar multilayered blonde haired boy. The sight made him uncomfortable.

Jinki sent Taemin a text letting him know that he didn’t want a ride home that day, that he was gonna walk home alone instead. He wanted to be alone some more.

~~~~~

Dinner with his parents that night was quiet. Jinki didn’t look up from his plate of food to avoid starting up a conversation; he wasn’t in the mood to try and talk about his feelings. He wasn’t in the mood to act like nothing was wrong,

Mr. and Mrs. Lee were aware that their son had skipped his session with Dr. Han but they decided it was better not to bring it up. They knew when their son needed some space.

~~~~~

Jinki liked it when his friends came to him for advice and to share their own problems. It made Jinki feel useful. He silently admitted that was the reason why he preferred being friends with people that were younger than him. Luna was more than welcome to a night of venting when she sent Jinki a message asking if it was okay to come over that night.

The golden blonde rested her head on the elder’s shoulder as they were wrapped up in a warm blanket shielding them from the cool wind that seeped through the cracks of the windows of Jinki’s old tree house. It was always most comfortable hanging out here in the middle of the night. It was also easier to hang out there than to try and sneak into Jinki’s window.

“I’m sorry for making you get up so late,” she apologized.

“It’s not a big deal. I was already awake anyway. Besides, you know I’m always here whenever you need someone to talk to,” he reassured as he swung his arm around her shoulders. “So tell me what’s going on.”

Luna leaned into his warmth and sighed. “There are some girls in dance class that are saying some pretty crappy things about me.” She was a strong girl and she had no issues with being her own person, so Jinki knew it was a big deal if Luna was actually being affected by other people.

“What are they saying?”

“They think that I’m jealous of Sulli and that I’m trying to keep Taemin away from her and all to myself.”

“Does Minnie know about this?” Jinki asked.

“Well yeah, I mentioned it to him during the weekend.” She sighed sadly. “He said it might be a good idea to work with other people on our next dance routine so this time I paired up with Kai.”

“Is that what’s bothering you?”

“It’s not like I’m gonna die if I don’t work with Minnie.” Luna replied sharply. “I mean, Kai is my friend too so it’s not like having him as a partner is this huge tragedy.”

He softly the younger girl’s golden locks for extra comfort. “What’s the problem then?”

Luna sighed, like a purr after a kitten had been tamed form an angry rant, “It’s just annoying that I gave in to that annoying brat’s rumors. If she thinks that I have this major crush on Taemin then so be it. I know it’s not true and that we’re just friends so whatever. At least I’ll have the sweet feeling of satisfaction when Tae finally tells her that he’s not interested,” she concluded with a sly grin.

“Is that so?’

“Dance class is gonna become quite interesting when that happens, that’s for sure.”

Luna shifted closer to Jinki’s chest, exhaling heavily and closing her eyes at ease. He knew it was better to stay quiet until she was comfortable to talk once more. And sure enough, she started up the conversation with, “Your new best-est friend stopped by at our dance studio today.”

“Who?” Jinki asked genuinely puzzled.

“Ya know, the school’s Casanova? He was watching today’s rehearsal with Taesun today.”

“You mean Jjong?” She nodded. The uncomfortable feeling Jinki had when he saw the two earlier today came back. “That’s…weird,” he commented. 

“That’s what I thought, too,” Luna agreed. “So I asked Minnie what was up and he said that Taesun was gonna help him with math homework.”

“That definitely sounds like something Jjong would do,” he added.

“No kidding. Tae says he think he’s very nice though. He seems happy to have met a new hyung.”

“You think so?” Jinki knew his voice sounded a bit off at asking that.

“Don’t worry about it though. There’s never going to be a better friend than you are,” assured Luna with a tight hug. “Thanks for listening, Onew oppa. I’d spend the night but I already got trouble with my parents after an argument in dance class so I should really head home now before they find out I’m not there.”   

“Yeah and try to get some sleep so you’re not a complete zombie in school tomorrow.”

“Yes sir!” Luna saluted and the gesture made Jinki laugh. He decided to do the right thing and walked the young girl back home and safe through her bedroom window since it was not safe for her to walk alone at three in the morning. The late night walks also helped relax himself,

Feeling his mood brighten by Luna’s compliment, Jinki took his medicine and for the first time in a long time, he fell asleep with a smile on his face. He was thankful for having made such amazing friends to keep him going. He forgot all about his discomfort and loneliness for one night.