I pulled my grip away from his waist. Our eyes didn’t leave each other even once. I backed off as soon as a shadow appeared on front of the door.

   The door opened wide after I drew away a couple of feet further. It was… Gikwang? My eyes softened as the angry teenager glared harshly at my presence.

   “You again? Why are you everywhere?”

   “I’m sorry… I’ll leave,” I assured him with an agitated conduct. I gave Joon a final glance before storming towards the door. Gikwang resumed his work at the other end of the classroom. I looked back at Lee Joon in worry. “Are you sure you don’t want me to finish it for you guys?”

   “Don’t worry. Gikwang and I are strong enough to write a few hundred words on our own. Right Gikwang’ah?”

   He carelessly ignored the sarcastic statement. I could feel him holding back his anger.

   “I feel bad watching you both being punished because of my mistake.” My sincere words seemed to have resonated in Gikwang’s ears seeing that he finally made the effort to look at me. Joon flipped my hair on my face teasingly and pushed me out the door.

   “Just wait for me outside. You have nothing to feel bad about,” he finished before shutting the piece of wood on the tip of my nose. I watched him wave through the glass with one of his attractive expressions.

   Undoubting, there wasn’t anyone more perfect than him.

***

   I still wasn’t sure if Gikwang forgave me yet. After a week, I tried to pretend that the incident never happened. In the hallway, I caught him staring at me as I leaned backwards on a wall. I gave out a smirk and breezed by him with a bow. It looked ridiculously foolish giving he didn’t respond the way I wanted.

   As I gazed away in shame, something else caught my attention. The barbie doll from a few weeks ago, Hyuna I mean, was standing a few meters away. She was speaking to a familiar guy, whose back was all I could see. Out of curiosity, I strolled by with my eyes peeking like a creeper. At a nearer angle, I could make out Joon’s unique body. Yep. It was him alright, with those rare features he constantly wore. They stood out among many.

   “Oh Minyoung’ah,” mouthed Joon as he saw me gawking at them awkwardly.

    “Ne,” I mumbled. I didn’t have much to say in reality, even if I just so happen to randomly stand in the middle of their seemingly interesting conversation.

   “You know Hyuna. Don’t you. I believe you met when she gave you the letter.”

   I nodded with a faded beam.

   “Of course, I remember.” My tone seemed so fake in my own ears. My acting was horrible.

   “She’s coming over today. Do you mind if she walked home with us?”

   My jaw opened in astonishment I had never once seen Joon and Hyuna together before this. What hit me even harder was her arm linked around his. They were awfully close for people who had just met.

   “No, I don’t mind at all,” I lied with all the doubt in the world. Both smiled as they walked past me and out the exit. I followed from behind, like a lost puppy. My curiosity kept growing all the more after I overheard an “oppa” in the discussion.

   “You knew each other before, didn’t you?” I questioned from behind. Both turned around abruptly and unlinked their close arms. Hyuna stepped in closer to me.

   “Of course. We’re best friends,” she said almost naturally.

   “But Joon said that he barely knew you,” I fought back to make myself feel better.

   “I was just mad at her. I didn’t want to explain or talk about her at the time. That’s all,” continued Joon with his hands tucked in his pockets.

   “Ah! So you guys fought then…”

   Both remained silent. I was a bit angry, perhaps even jealous. Nonetheless, I refused to express it. We proceeded on our stroll back to the house. I felt a bit like a nuisance in the midst of them, maybe even getting in their way.  

   We finally got home after the long walk. It annoyed me to see Joon putting his arm around a girl other than me. I probably got used to all the attention he gave me. Once we entered, both my company dashed directly to Joon’s room on their own. It made me extremely uncomfortable to have another girl in the house with him, in his room. I shrugged their bothersome behavior off and rolled my eyes.

   I went towards the refrigerator to eat all my naughty thoughts away. That was what I usually did. As I opened my mouth to take a bite of the cold leftovers on front of me, a picture on the table caught my eye. I reached for it and planted my nose on its tip.

   It was a laminated shot of my family, my real one at least. I had came to the conclusion that it came in the mail, along with a “will” letter directed to me. As I contemplated the picture, I admired my family staring straight at me with that joyful air that I missed. My beautiful mother sat peacefully on a wooden chair beside my big and husky father. They were the best. My memories of them were faded and unclear by now.

   I could remember my mother pinning my hair with a clip when it was hot outside, or my father helping me with my homework before exams. They were the greatest. Who could’ve asked for better parents?

   My heart dropped at Junho. His smile couldn’t compare to anyone. When we were younger, he would get angry at me frequently. I couldn’t blame him; I was a pain in the .

   “Get out and stop bothering me!” he used to shout as he pushed me out of his room. I would simply look down out of guilt, almost wanting to cry. He gazed back and gave me two quick glances before coming to my side again.

   “I’m sorry, Minyoung’ah. I didn’t mean to,” he would apologized remorsefully, taking me into his warm arms in comfort. Remembering those times brought me the shivers. They pained me.

   The day of the accident, I still remember his last words as we sat serenely in the car:

   “If I die, you won’t ever replace me, right?” he asked ironically, out of the blue. I looked over at him with a playful gaze.

   “Why would you die?” I spoke too fast. My body nudged in reality, feeling the accident all over again.

  Not wanting to remember them any longer, I took out a pot from under the sink, and a lighter in a nearby drawer. I threw the picture and the letter attached to it in the container and lit it up subconsciously. I didn’t even know I was doing it until the fire gradually became bigger. I panicked, and totally not in my right mind, I tossed the burning material into the sink. With my bad aim, that wasn’t where it landed.

   The flame came in slight contact with an outlet, strong enough to cause a huge burst of electricity. I jolted back in fear and hid behind the wall. About to run towards the bathroom for water, I stopped myself. I took a second look at the bursting flames forming quickly in the kitchen.

   The unmerciful part of my heart remembered my plan: “Step 2; Aim for their financial security.”

   What better way to do it than this?

   I mechanically ran towards the exit to save myself from the extremely dangerous electrical wire burning up. I stood outside the door and stopped.

   “Joon oppa,” I remembered as the softer part of me worked up my conscious. Part of me wanted to leave him there, but another told me to stop being so pitiless. I looked behind me only to find the fire twice as big as the first time.

   “Aish…” I gave up and went running up the stairs into Joon’s room. I blasted the door open and broke in. “Get out of the house. There’s a fire!” I shouted after finding Joon and Hyuna near the window sharing earphones, probably blocking all the noisy commotion from their reach. They merely stared at me, passive. I glanced out the door and realized that the front exit was blocked with dangerous flames.

   “Didn’t you hear me? I said that the house is burning!”

   Joon finally woke up from his daze and ran towards me. As soon as he saw the raging flares behind me, he pulled me into his room and closed the door. He gently but quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me to the other end of the room along with Hyuna. Joon opened the window and put his head out. He brought his focus back on us and grasped his bed sheets and threw the end outside.

   “Hyuna! Climb down now!” he ordered, referring to the blanket he wanted to use as ladder. Still confused to what was going on, Hyuna obeyed with doubt in her every movement. “Pali!!” Joon held on tight as she ascended to the safe ground. He then turned towards me and I knew right off the bat what he wanted me to do.

   It gradually became hotter. Light began to appear in the crack of the door. I moved to look down at what seemed like a long distance from the window to the ground.

   “I can’t. You go.” I simply said without moving.

   “What do you mean? You have to.”

   “I’m… I’m scared… Of heights.” That was my worse fear. I couldn’t possibly go down that cloth ladder all by myself.

   “I’m not leaving you here. I won’t go down if you aren’t.” He gripped my elbows and brought me closer. His body heat added to the burning atmosphere. “Go down. For me. Do it for me. Alright?”

   At that moment, blazes of fire broke into the room and we both jolted in scare. I immediately reacted and went out the window. I took a deep breath and slid without peeking at the bottom. I used Hyuna’s shouts of encouragement as a guide. My body trembled. I was more scared than ever. Once my feet reached the ground I opened my eyes. I looked up and found Joon giving me thumbs up. Not having anyone to hold the blanket on top, he jumped to the ground instead, landing violently on the side of his leg.

   Joon twitched in pain. The fall was quite high and he must’ve totally injured himself. I ran towards him and wrapped him in my short arms.

   “Mianhe Joon oppa. Mianhe.” I couldn’t think of different words. Joon put his hand around my waist while biting his lips to avoid feeling the immense amount of soreness. He let out a dim smile.

   “As long as you’re okay, I’m perfectly fine. Besides, you saved Hyuna and me. Didn’t you?”

   I didn’t want to hear anything. I hugged him tighter and said what was on the tip of my tongue.

   “Why do you always do things that make me fall in love with you?” I bit my lip. What did I say? That definitely wasn’t intended. I let go of his neck and blankly stared at him. My gaze turned towards Hyuna, who stood in shock. I could sense some bitterness in her eyes after I pronounced those accidental words.