Warning! This current chapter has TRIGGERS. You have been warned. If you are sensitive to certain topics containing elements of self-mutilation and depression, I strongly advise you read at your own discretion. 

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The rain was beginning to let up.

Only counter-parts of melodic dripping creeping away down the pavement. Hushed sounds of the early evening fall-tide.

The smell of rain seeping through corners of the townhouse like the scent of a mother cooking in the morning, a father’s coffee brewing in the distance, newspaper crinkling to the breath of a new daylight.

Something Donghae will never know.

Hyukjae and Donghae sat there on the plush carpet, separated by a coffee table with a thick glass crowning.

Just Hyukjae, Donghae and the reposing rain.

Hyukjae had so many questions.

Questions he didn’t know how to bring up, how to go about. So, he went with the only gut-feeling that told him what to do right then.

“Hae…can I please see your arms?”

Like that. The emotionless directness almost soothing, except for a minor course and exhausted undertone expressed in the depths of that one sentence.

Donghae almost shook.

Immediately, he pulled them into his lap and looked down, ashamed of something he’d been hiding for quite some time.

Of course, he didn’t do it now, how could he after Hyukjae had taken him in and shown such care.

He still gets flare ups, but the brunette didn’t mind, as disorders such as his will never permanently leave. It will always be a small part of you, no matter how much you try to deny it. 

As Donghae’s memories resurface ever so slightly, day by day, he had known for quite some time of something in his past he wasn’t exactly proud of.

Something he had inflicted onto himself repetitively long before the days of his hero named Hyukjae saving him.

Donghae had thought to leave it alone, because after awhile, you almost start to forget.

Almost.

The younger backed away subconsciously, preferring to leave this part of himself closed even to Hyukjae.

To Donghae, Hyukjae could not see this.

It was a disgusting habit.

The scars left adorned on his skin weren’t pretty; if Hyukjae ever saw them he’d be repulsed.

“Wow” Hyukjae would say, Donghae thought. “They’re right. He is retarded. Not to mention, freaking psychotic. He belongs in the madhouse. What a mistake of mine to actually think of taking him in.”

“Hae,” the real Hyukjae’s voice interrupted, causing Donghae to stir from his stupor, “I just need to see. Please Hae, trust me.”

Hesitantly, Donghae inched over to the other side of the glass table and sat down next to Hyukjae, facing him.

No words were exchanged for a few minutes of what was to happen next.

Hyukjae attentively took Donghae’s hands in his own and brought them up to his face, letting the brunette feel his facial features before bringing them down to his lips, mildly placing a kiss on one of his fingertips.

Donghae smiled against his better judgment, gradually letting Hyukjae pull down his sleeves and take a look into his world.

His canvas of hurt and lies painted perfectly, like stars littering the endless universe of his skin.

There were dried up nicks, pressed cuts that have healed, carvings and intersections of tried scarred slashes and slits here and there. For some reason, Hyukjae understood now.

They looked different from Donghae’s bruises.

They were inflicted upon himself by himself.

And it hurt Hyukjae to think about what Donghae had been through before he had met him.

“If something’s hurting you…someone …you can tell me, you know?” Hyukjae softly uttered, hands softly caressing Donghae’s marred skin. “I can help you. If you’re scared, I’m right here. I hope you know, by now, I would never leave you alone.”

Donghae closed up the space in between them and crawled into Hyukjae’s lap, wrapping both of his arms around the blonde’s form as he rested his head against the older’s chest.

The brunette closed his eyes for a fraction of a second, lifting his head to smell Hyukjae’s familiar scent, which in turn tickled the older.

Hyukjae giggled, bringing his own hand up to put his fingers into Donghae’s hair, softly touching him.

The blonde wrapped his arms around Donghae as well, rocking back and forth to the dripping of the ever-stilling rain.

“You’re really beautiful to me Donghae, I don’t think you’re imperfect, there’s nothing wrong with you.” Hyukjae began timidly, “Sometimes, I smile for no reason because of you. When I think about being with you for a long time, I don’t mind because you’ve kind of…well…you’ve kind of become my everything, really.” 

Donghae blushed, suddenly embarrassed. 

“I have work tomorrow Hae, so um, if you want, we can spend the whole night together today.” Hyukjae began, clearing his throat, aware of his almost-clear-as-day confession he just made not just to himself, but also to Donghae. “Not that we do anything different on my days off! I just kind of want to be around you right now.”

In return, Donghae hugged even tighter, playfully kissing Hyukjae’s left shoulder blade. 

◊

They stepped out onto the front yard for what seemed like in forever, gazing upwards into the graying sky but knowing full well that a new day will come again.

Jab

Hyukjae looked over to the right and found that Donghae had stabbed a finger to his side, motioning the words

“Tag! You’re it!” in sign.

Bright ideas only come once in awhile, Hyukjae thought to himself.

“GRAAARH!” Hyukjae made fake roaring noises as he curved his fingers to make claws. “Hyukjae the tyrannosaurus rex has come to eat Donghae the human!”

Donghae laughed, smile ever so bright as he tried to run in the rain from his loved T-rex. 

“I’m gonna eat you!” Hyukjae hollered again, chasing after the brunette in the drizzle, feet splashing over puddles of rain water left from the storm surge. 

Hyukjae chased Donghae.

The world became whole again.

Hyukjae remembered the day at the beach with Donghae. 

How they sat and watched the sunset, how he heard Donghae laugh for the first time, how the water sparkled around them like glitter in the breeze.

How he heard Donghae laugh for the first time.

And now, Donghae was laughing uncontrollably for the umpteenth time in the townhouse bathtub with Hyukjae. Pulling yellow little rubber duckies underneath the foaming bubbles and watching them bob over to Hyukjae’s side of the tub, with Hyukjae pulling them under again and sending them sailing over Donghae’s way.

“What’s so funny?” Hyukjae asked genuinely, intrigued at what in the world was making Donghae laugh this hard and this long about something.

As a cadence of bubbles danced around his ankles, he noticed an orchestra of perfect round froth engulfing his mouth and chin.

A bubble beard.

“This is professor Hyukjae,” the blonde said in a thick British-like accent, imitating the two- beard professors are usually seen doing in the movies, “I see the case of the giggles has caught my dear friend in quite the spiffy!” 

To that, Donghae laughed even more, catching his breath and stopping at the last second. 

The blonde used this time to grab the shampoo and pour a generous amount onto the palm of his hand before working it through the younger’s soft brown tresses.

Hyukjae knew he didn’t have to do it, but he felt compelled to. 

Donghae was his prince, and cleaning him up was just the loyal right-handed man’s duty. 

The younger squirmed away from his loose grip, burrowing his face into Hyukjae’s chest. 

Donghae grabbed the abandoned shampoo on the outer rim of the bathtub and poured a relevant amount in the palm of his hand, layering it right through Hyukjae’s blonde hair. 

Donghae’s careful touches always felt so good to Hyukjae, even though he would never say such a thing out loud.

It was pretty obvious now to Hyukjae how he really felt about Donghae.

Through the months of knowing him, he had never met a person more beautiful than that of the cosmic stars themselves. 

Until he met Donghae.

On top of that, Donghae was an angel.

If anything got sweeter than Donghae, it wouldn’t be true. 

Hyukjae continued to let Donghae run his hands through his hair, lathering the fluffs of product generously through his head. 

I want this to last forever, Hyukjae thought.

Donghae stopped, resuming his position on Hyukjae’s chest like he had done earlier.

Hyukjae took hold of a loofa and streamed a good amount of body wash onto it, holding onto Donghae and scrubbing his back for him.

Donghae mewled, astonished at how good it felt to have Hyukjae soothingly scrub his back. It was all he could do not to fall asleep safe in the older’s arms, surrounded by the calming steam of the bath, amidst a sea of rubber ducks. 

Neither Hyukjae nor Donghae found it the least bit awkward to be in a bathtub with each other. They had been through more personal events and had let their guard down for each other more than once the entire time they had known one another.

Bathing with another person you are so close with only felt natural.

To Hyukjae and to Donghae, according to them, the other was perfect, and neither one had anything to hide anymore. 

◊

They lied in bed that night, together once again laying alongside each other. 

Donghae’s head in the crook of Hyukjae’s neck; the younger being the first one to drift off, as always.

Hyukjae lay awake, thinking over all the possible things he’s had planned for Donghae. 

Maybe they can travel the world together one day, beside each other just like this.

The blonde thought about that possibility, immediately feeling warmth crawling up his skin at the thought of being able to take Donghae everywhere with him.

Staying in hotels together, eating together, laughing together, and being together.

Just together.

Staying together with Donghae was all Hyukjae wished for and all he needed. 

As he rested here holding the younger’s hand and viewing the full moon from the window, he thought about these things and more. 

Hyukjae went over Christmas days in which he planned to spoil Donghae senseless, Halloween costume parties the bank hosted in which he could bring Donghae one year, the places in Hong Kong he wished to see along with the street vendors and food he could try with Donghae always by his side. 

In his mind, China seemed prettier with Donghae in it. 

Paper lanterns burned brighter when Donghae lit it.

Church bells seemed loudest when Donghae was around.

Church bells?!

Hyukjae snapped out of it, making a mental note to stop the craziness at which he feels for Donghae these days because sometimes, it’s kind of borderline creepy. 

Okay, pretty borderline creepy.

He couldn’t help it though, not with how stunning Donghae’s heart and personality were.

Slowly, Hyukjae closed his eyes and drifted off himself, forever enraptured by a person he swore took up every minute of his life;

But he loved every second of it.

◊

Hyukjae woke up to the rising sun, rubbing his eyes tiredly and glancing over to his side to check on his drifting loved one.

Only this time, when he woke up

Donghae wasn’t there anymore. 

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A/N: Merry Christmas guys! 

Nothing much to say except if you haven't watched Death Note already, you need to watch it. It's the best anime I have ever seen. I devoured the whole thing over Thanksgiving break and it was better than turkey.

Light Yagami is my main man (｡♥‿♥｡)