Taeyeon

“Taeyeon! Where are you?!” a distant voice echoed off the cliff edge off the mountain. I turned around expecting to see someone standing there but was only met with the trees surrounding the spring. I decided to skip out on putting the rest of the layers and walk back to the cave. Jessica should have made the fire by now so I’m sure I won’t be that cold.

Jessica. Who would have thought that the daughter of the chief would grow so accustomed to the village’s most feared being? I for one did not. I expected my life to remain dull and boring as it was for all of my life. Everything was so different now. I pressed my hand against my waist where her hands were before. I could still feel the tingling sensation that was left when she gripped onto my tightly. Although it was dulled, it was still there.

Was this the same problem that the princess herself was experiencing? Heart wrenching, tingling sensations and uncomfortable feelings. If that’s the case, then I’m afraid I have no solution for I myself am experiencing the same problem.

Giving a long and heavy sigh, I proceeded to the cave. I followed the footprints left by the princess until I came to the wall of trees and bushes that surrounded the cave. As I was about to approach it, a loud and murderous voice filled my ears.

“Well princess? Unleash your wrath. I do not care if I were to die. I have to avenge my daughter. You are to pay for what you’ve done!”

The voice was oddly familiar, but at the same time, I could not recognise it. The voice was masked with hatred and grief. It no longer sounded like anyone I knew. I then heard the shuffling of the snow before me and the sound of metal hitting against each other. Ducking behind the trees and brushes, I looked out to the open clearing in front of the cave.

I could see a group of mean with their backs faced towards me. They were closing in on a single area. I shifted myself slightly to see what the men were so interested in and paused once I saw Jessica at the centre of their attention. One of the men grabbed her by the collar and threatened her as the men stood around him as support.

“Come on you demon! Show us your demonic powers!” the man threatening Jessica growled deeply. Demon. There was that word again. I couldn’t help but remember that one scene in that horrible nightmare I had. The group of men surrounding the princess, when my father himself was shifting into an unknown being and when the village burning down in flames with the villagers not minding it at all.

I was then pulled out of my trance as the wind began to pick up. I saw Jessica standing there with the men still surrounding her. I had to think fast. I looked around for anything that could help but all that was there was just snow; an endless amount of snow.

I then looked up at the group of men and decided I should just use whatever I had. I grabbed two handfuls of snow in my hands and packed it together in to a messy ball before hurling it at the men at the back. I did the same action again, except with more snow into the ball. I saw Jessica glance at me and I just gave her a quick smile before I continued on throwing the snow at the men.

They seemed spooked and hurriedly rushed back from Jessica, except for that one man. Conveniently, the weather had changed and it was starting to snow again. I looked around again and saw an icicle hanging from one of the tree branches. Acting quickly, I pulled it off and hit it against the back of one of the men’s head.

“Chief! Go back now! We’ll bring reinforcements next time. We can’t take her alone,” the man who I had just hit yelled. Chief? Wait, it couldn’t possibly be…

I turned back to the man in front of Jessica just in time to see him turn around. I ducked under the bushes to hide from his vision. I took a good look at the man before me. I wish I was wrong, but there was no doubt that that man was my father. What was he doing here?

“I swear, through my bloodline, I will make you pay! My ancestors have hated you ever since you took my ancestor’s cherish wife. Now you have taken my daughter! No matter what, if it’s not me, my descendants will make you pay for what you have done to our family,” he threatened to Jessica. I stopped in my position when I heard him mention me, his daughter. I had thought that he would have moved on and forgotten about me already. Why was he here swearing revenge against Jessica?

I turned back to where Jessica was standing to see her with a troubled expression. Just moments ago she was challenging my father. She was so confident and collected. Has the oath to take revenge on her really impacted her that much?

I emerged from my hiding spot when I was sure my father and the men were well off away from us. I walked slowly toward Jessica in hopes of getting an explanation, but all I received was a cold shoulder. She turned her whole body away from mine and walked into the cave without giving me a second glance. I was not used to seeing her back facing me. Seeing her fully turn her back towards me and walk away without even acknowledging me hurt. I felt non-existent again. How many backs have I seen throughout my years of being confined? My father’s back was one I saw on a regular basis, and then there were the backs of the very few people who brought my meals and messages from my father. Even the elders who came to teach me of the legends and teachings of the village had all turned their backs against me.

“Jessica?” I called out in an unstable tone. I did not want my list of people who have turned from me to continue. My list was far longer than the list of people who have directly faced me. I did not wish to move Jessica to that dreaded list. Not when she my only hope of being acknowledged by this cruel world.

“Your father wishes for your return. Why did you betray him?” Jessica asked, still avoiding eye contact with me. I stood in front of the cave entrance. I didn’t feel welcome in the princess’ lair anymore. I was not wanted.

“He even dares come up to challenge the village’s worst fear to bring you back and yet you still scare him off by being my non-existent powers,” she continued. Her ice cold voice had returned. It was the same tone that had greeted me on my first day here. I lowered my head in shame and gripped my hands into tight fists.

‘Non-existent powers’.

How naïve was I to believe that I actually meant something to this world anymore. How stupid was I to believe that I had created a purpose for me to continue in this life of the living. Even to the one whom had taken me in for the past few days had referred to me as ‘non-existent’. It hurt. I had long accepted the fact that I didn’t exist to the village, but why did it hurt so much when she told me I was not existent?

“I didn’t want to… go back to the world of the forgotten. Back in the village, no one knew of me except for a select few. I do not wish to go back to solitary confinement,” I replied in a soft whisper. I wanted to believe that I had a meaning to stay in this cave. It was the only place in which I thought I could belong.

“I guess we shouldn’t wish for the impossible,” I uttered in a heavy sigh. Jessica did not reply. She gripped onto my clothes that were in her hands tightly. I waited for a reaction. I did not care what type of reaction it was. I just wanted something. The silence was unsettling.

“You are the chief’s daughter?” she then suddenly asked me in a dark tone. I fiddled with my fingers for a short while, contemplating whether I should answer her or not.

“You are the descendant of the chief Kim many years ago, are you not?” Her voice darkened even more. I was about to answer her and deny all of it, but before I could even emit any type of sound; she threw the clothes against the wall and let out a frustrated yell. She finally turned around to face me with a murderous stare.

“You’re ancestor banished here with no trial. He banished me here to this hell hole blaming me for all the crimes that that stupid baker did. What right do you have to be here?!” she finally snapped and yelled at me. I backed away from the cave entrance for two steps. Banished with no trial? Crimes of the baker? I don’t understand.

“I know very well what you are here for. You’re here to carry out what he had promised me years ago. You are the descendant who shall me make me pay for the crimes I never did, aren’t you?” She continued yelling as she pointed at me. I backed away a few more steps as she approached me. With each step she took, her expression darkened. By the time she was in front of me, she looked like she was going to be sick from just my mere presence.

“Because of you, I’m experiencing pain that I never had before. Betrayal. Even when my guards had abandoned me, I never felt this betrayed. You’re slowly torturing me with each second you’re here, plotting your evil deeds until the day in which you would finish me off,” she gripped onto the sides of my shoulders tightly. I winced at the strength she put into her grip and tried to back away but she held me in place.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” she growled into my ear. I was at a loss for words. Nothing she said made sense. Betrayal? Slow torture? Evil deed? What was all this? I just opened my mouth in response but nothing came out. What was I supposed to say?

Jessica gripped onto my shoulders even tighter at my lack of response, but she broke our eye contact. She just lowered her head and pushed against me slightly.

“Say something. Just… say anything. Stop these stupid thoughts running through my head. Please, just say something and save me from these thoughts,” Jessica collapsed onto the floor, pulling me with her as she kneeled before me. There was a moment’s silence. I used this silence to collect my thoughts and prepared myself.

“Yes, I am the daughter of the village chief and I am the descendant of the chiefs so many years before this,” I started off slowly. That was the only thing I was sure of. That was the only thing I knew. I am the daughter of a chief who serves no purpose. I was just a waste of resource.

“As for what my ancestors did to you, I have not a clue. Everything from seventy years ago was burned in the fire that erupted from the elders’ library. All that remained was the legend of the baker and the ice princess,” I continued on. I felt her grip on my shoulders loosen slightly.

“In all honesty, I do not know about anything that you have just told me. What betrayal? What evil deed? My name was drawn from the ceremony. My father may have cheated slightly, but he is still fair. As a chief he still put in the chance that I would be drawn. When I was drawn from the ceremony, I was supposed to be taken to the next village, but that would mean someone would take my place. I was ready to die. I served no purpose. So I took my fate and came up here,” I continued on. With each word that I uttered, Jessica’s grip loosened. It was only towards the end that she gripped onto me again.

“Stop. Just stop. Why should I believe you, a descendant of the Kim who banished me here,” she started to speak again. After a small pause from both parties, Jessica finally stood up. She walked into the cave and took the bag of supplies that I had brought here on the first day and dropped it in front of me.

“Return to your village. You are the daughter of a chief. You serve a purpose to the village. Stop spouting lies and just… leave. I do not require your services anymore. From what I know, you are the cause of my problems. Just leave before I really do kill you,” she avoided my gaze again as she walked back into the cave. I stared at my belongings in front of me and bit my lower lip.

I was a nuisance. I was a nuisance to the only person who I thought could accept me into their lives. I don’t know what was more painful, to be non-existent, or to be a nuisance? I gripped onto the hem of my overcoat as I felt warm tears fall from my eyes.

“Go now! Don’t underestimate me,” Jessica yelled from the cave again as she kicked the pile of sticks that were prepared for the fire.

“I know… you wouldn’t go that far. If you wanted to kill me you would have already…” I whispered as I wiped away the warm tears from my cheeks. This was no time to cry. I was used to being alone. Tossed aside and forgotten. This was just the cycle of my life.

I stood up and confidently as I could. I stared at the bag which contained small rations of bread in it and then back at the princess in her cave. All I saw was her back. She did not bother to turn around or respond to me. I guess I really did not serve a purpose to her.

“It’s funny how things can change in a matter of minutes. I do not regret it though. Thank you Jessica for giving me that small amount of hope. Even though it is completely crushed and smothered into pieces, it helped me a lot. I’m sorry to have been a nuisance to you. I swear from now that I shall not bother you again. Thank you and… farewell…” I tried to sound confident but I couldn’t help but let out a few tears show in my words. I stared down at the bag of belongings that she had thrown down at me. I did not need food. Not where I was going.

This isn’t like you Taeyeon. You were confident, calm and collected. You had accepted your fate the moment you were called in front of the village. Why did you sway from your path and create false hope?

I was stupid. I was so desperate to find my place, that I was willing to accept anything when really, I had nothing. I kicked snow over the back of my belongings and walked off. I was a waste of resource. Waste of food, clothes and air. I was polluting everyone else’s precious air supply. I was selfish. I am selfish.

“It’s time to get back on the path Taeyeon. Fate doesn’t like to wait,” I told myself as I walked down to where the next village was supposed to be. This time I shall not run when fate meets me. I shall not climb a tree and I shall not cry for help. It was bound to come sooner or later. I had prolonged my fate for three days and two nights. That was more than enough. This morning had provided me with enough happiness anyway. I was not worthy to receive more. After all, I shouldn’t even exist. Not to Jessica, not to my mother, not to the village.

Jessica

“It’s funny how things can change in a matter of minutes. I do not regret it though. Thank you Jessica for giving me that small amount of hope. Even though it is completely crushed and smothered into pieces, it helped me a lot. I’m sorry to have been a nuisance to you. I swear from now that I shall not bother you again. Thank you and… farewell…”

I’ve had enough. Stop luring me into your trap. Just stop. I was already in enough pain. I was betrayed. It was part of her plan. His plan. Gain my trust, lure me to the depths of no return and torture me endlessly. I had to prevent it. Stop all of this now before I fall any deeper.

I sat back down onto the cold hard floor of the cave. My body was weak. The beating in my chest was causing pain. Each beat was causing pain to spread through my body.

“I’ll get over it. You’ve survived before she came along, you can survive after she’s left,” I told myself. She was gone now. Everything is back to the way it should be. The villagers’ fears have only rose when they saw my ‘demonic powers’ first hand.

I looked at the clothes that I threw across the cave. They were covered in the ashes of the wood that I had burnt last night. Was I too harsh on her? She had not done anything to wrong me… at least not yet. I walked over to her dirtied clothes and started brushing off all the ash.

No. I cannot take risks. Her ancestor has sworn that their descendants will make me pay. Taeyeon is a clear descendant. She would bring me back to those men who were at my cave earlier and slowly torture me, make me suffer and break me into pieces. He swore on his life that his family shall come after me. No one makes such promises just for the fun of it. He was as serious as anyone I’ve seen before.

“You are no princess! You came to my village and tore it to pieces. Our men have lost the woman of their lives because of you. Forgive me for my temper, but I must ask you to leave. We do not acknowledge you as a guest of this village anymore. I give you one more chance. Leave now and do not return to my village.”

I would have left the village if I could. The chief had given me an escape route, but I was denied. That baker was to blame. He blocked off my escape, he blocked off my life and my freedom. Just as I was preparing to leave the village, a group of men charged into my room and held me down as the chief came in with a murderous expression. The words still burned in my head, the words that had sealed my fate.

“I gave you a chance princess. I gave you a chance to move on from this village. I trusted that you would leave this village in peace, but I guess with the likes of you, you couldn’t resist. My wife is now lifeless outside my quarters. My beloved children now no longer have a mother. You are the lowest of the low. You took away the innocent lives of women and forced those close to them to weep in their sad sorrows. You do not deserve the high class life of a princess. You don’t deserve to be pampered by servants.”

Next thing I knew, I was chained to a rock up in this old cave. Before the men had left me alone in the caves, the chief had one last final thing to say to me.

“Curse you. Curse you for the rest of your life. You and your wretched heart; your cold, solid heart. I swear by the gods of the heavens that I will do everything in my power to make the rest of your life suffer. I swear, through my bloodline, I will cause you to pay for what you did.”

Weeks had passed after I was left alone. I did not care for hunger or thirst. I just developed my hate for the baker, the village and all human kind. It was only after a month that I realised that I was still alive. I still don’t know how, but I managed to remain healthy and did not seem to age at all. My hate for the villagers had changed me. I do not know whether this is the work of the gods above, but I was not able to pass on to the afterlife. I remained in the cave, chained for a whole year before the chains finally broke from the cold wetness of the snow.

A shifting noise was present in the front of the cave and returned my attention back to reality. I saw a small figure lying in a ball at the beginning of the cave.

“I thought I told you to leave,” I growled darkly. What was she doing back here? She should have returned back to the village and enjoyed her luxurious life as the chief’s beloved daughter.

“I told you to leave!” I yelled in frustration. She did not move. What was I to do? I did not wish to see her face to face in this moment. My resolve would break and I would willingly walk into her trap.  Rather than risking my resolve to diminish, I continued to the corner of the cave and ignored her. I was feeling tired. My shoulders felt heavy as my eyes were struggling to keep open. I took a quick look outside to see that the sun would be setting soon. There was no harm in resting early. The stress of today had more than tired me enough.

I shot the fur coated figure in front of my cave a quick glance. She seemed to be resting as well. I would deal with her later when I was not so vulnerable. Not caring about what the other was doing, I rested myself against the cave of the snow and shut my eyes. I couldn’t help but feel burdened. What if… what if I hadn’t met Kim Taeyeon? Would I feel what I was feeling now? This burning sensation that I was feeling in my chest, this throbbing pain in my head and this contracting in my throat. Am I feeling this now because of her? If not, then what would I be feeling?

I didn’t want to think any further. Some things are better left unknown and remain in the dark. Who knows what kind of emotions it could bring. Leaving everything till later, I slowly started drifting off and got some much needed rest.

“Jessica? Jessica, are you okay?” a low but comforting called out to me. I looked up slowly to meet a pair of brown onyx orbs staring at me with concern. I held onto my head slightly. The throbbing and headache have all disappeared. It was like nothing had happened, like I didn’t feel a thing. I looked up to the one who had woken me from my slumber.

“T-Taeyeon?!” I said a little too loudly. The figure before me just smiled softly. It was definitely Taeyeon. There couldn’t be anyone else. I didn’t know that many people and not that many people knew who I was either.

“I’m sorry Jessica. I truly am,” Taeyeon said softly as she patted my head softly. I stared at her as she stood up with a heavy sigh. I stared up at her with confusion. What was the reason behind the heavy and sorrowful sigh? What was she apologizing for? And most importantly, why is she here?

“You do not wish to associate with the people who have the blood of my ancestor. I am sorry to have troubled you so. To right my wrongs, I shall remove myself for you and you can return to your comfortable life,” Taeyeon continued to speak. There were no emotions in her tone of voice. It was blunt and cold. I was scared, worried. There was always something with her voice that portrayed what she was thinking, but I could not understand anything behind her words now. Remove herself from my life? How and with what?

My answers were left unanswered as Taeyeon remained silent. I opened my mouth to speak but no words would come out. I tried but it was like I had no voice. I screamed at the top of my lungs but all that came out was warm air. Even my ears were ringing from trying. I pulled my hands up to my throat and stared up at Taeyeon. Why was I like this? What is this? Where is this? I tried to get some sort of answer from Taeyeon but all I received was a low chuckle.

I stood up and held onto Taeyeon’s shoulders and shook her. Why was she so sad? What was this anxious feeling that was surrounding the both of us? I stared into Taeyeon’s eyes but she turned her head down to avoid my stare. She took one step back, removing herself from my embrace. I took a step to take her in my hands again but she stopped me with her hand on my left shoulder.

“I can’t. This is better for the both of us. I should return back to the Kim’s. That is what I am after all. We should have never crossed paths. Not with the feud between my family and you,” she said slowly. I could finally sense some kind of emotion in her voice. She was scared. I could feel it. Her arm was shaking on my shoulder and her voice was unstable. My heart clenched knowing that I could not take a step closer to her. What was I to do?

“This is farewell. Good bye, dear Ice Princess Jung Jessica,” Taeyeon finally looked up at me with a tight-lipped smile. From the corner of her eye, a small droplet of water caught my eye. Taeyeon took another step back and lowered her arm off my shoulder. I then stared at her neck. Something disturbing had caught my eye.

Taeyeon just closed her eyes as the events unfolded. A choker had appeared out of nowhere and clasped itself around Taeyeon’s neck. I shot my glance back behind her to see who had put such a thing on her but I saw nothing but snow. I stared at Taeyeon again and took a step towards her. Taeyeon took two steps back and shook her head furiously. I so desperately wanted to pull that choker off her. What was it doing around her? Which inhuman beast dared to chain down Taeyeon?

“I am a Kim after all,” Taeyeon whispered ever so slightly. I then heard the sound of chains. I would recognise it anywhere. I had been chained down for three years. The sound of the metal hitting against each other at each sign of moment and driven me to my depths of despair and depression. I dreaded that sound. The sound of someone’s loss of freedom.

I stared up at the choker again and saw a chain slowly begin to build itself from Taeyeon’s restraint. I slowly traced the chains as it finally stopped in someone’s hand. The hand was all I saw. The arm and the rest of the body were covered by the snow storm. I took a step towards the hand who had restrained Taeyeon but was stopped when Taeyeon held her hand out to stop me. I looked back at her to see her face disorientated with pain. The chains moved again and I looked down to see the choker slowly closing its grasp around her frail neck.

“Let her go!” I yelled quickly back at the hand who was pulling tightly on the chain. A loud mocking chuckle was emitted from the snow. I tensed myself up as a foot appeared from the snow, followed by a leg. Slowly, a body emerged from the snow with a smirk plastered on their face. The chains moved again and Taeyeon pushed me back to the floor as she too fell to her knees. I could hear the sound of her breath staggering. She was holding onto her choker, desperate to stop it from closing in any further as her face slowly became paled. Staggered coughing was then heard as the chain to the choker was loosened. Desperate gasps of air were emitted from Taeyeon.

“Does it pain you to see her like this?” A low and masculine voice ran through my ears. I tensed even further. I slowly pulled my eyes away from the weak Taeyeon and up to the owner of the chain. I grabbed a handful of snow beneath me when I saw him. The one who had exiled me here in this ice wasteland.

“She’s your own descendant,” I growled through my teeth. The ancestor of Taeyeon. The chief who had caused all of my pain was now causing further pain. The man just smiled at me as he mockingly gripped onto the chain again. A low growl was then heard, followed by footsteps. The man pulled on Taeyeon’s chain slightly, making her fall backwards. From the snow behind him, other figured started to appear. Wolf figures to be exactly. They stood beside Taeyeon’s ancestor and bared their teeth at me. There was then another set of footsteps.

“Well isn’t this a pleasant surprise, Princess?” an even more irritating voice was emitted from the snow. I looked to the right of the chief and saw him. I gripped another handful of snow in my hand again and threw the snow at him with a frustrated yell.

“What are you doing here?!” I screamed at him. The baker. He was dead. The chief was also dead but what was that baker doing here? Why is he here with that man? Had they not ruined my life enough? I had taken the blame for the baker and the chief was the one who shifted that blame. The baker just smiled. The chief gripped onto the chain even tighter as the wolves let out a loud growl each.

I stood up and reached for Taeyeon’s chain. I had to break her free from the Kim’s grasp. She was in pain and all because of that Kim. I will not let him ruin anyone else’s life, and most importantly, ruin what I had just started to rebuild with mine. I grabbed onto the chain tightly and pulled it from his hands. He willingly let go of the chain with a smile on his face. The sounds of the chain were becoming softer as the figure of the baker, chief and wolves were also fading. I looked down at the chains to see that they were slowly disappearing.

“Taeyeon?!” I called out quickly as I turned to her. She was desperately grasping onto her choker with a pained expression. I let go of what was left of the chain but she still seemed to be in pain. I bent down to her level and fiddled with the choker but the more any of us touched the metal, the tighter it gripped around her neck.

“Jessica. Help me,” she gasped. I tried to grab onto the choker again but I grabbed nothing. The choker, the chain and even Taeyeon had disappeared in an instant. I looked back to where the two men were standing and they too just disappeared.

“Taeyeon?!” Taeyeon!  Where are you? I scanned the surroundings around me quickly but quickly saw it too fading into nothing. Everything was turning into darkness. The snow slowly lost its bright vibrant white and slowly faded into grey before turning pitch black.

With only a small area of white snow remaining I stood up.

“Taeyeon!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

Before the last remaining snow had disappeared I heard a distinct sound.

A howl.

The howl of a wolf.

The howl of a wolf on a successful hunt.

“Jessica!” Taeyeon’s voice screamed.

“Taeyeon!” I yelled back. My ears were ringing. Taeyeon’s scream was so loud. So vivid. So real. I quickly turned around to see myself in the caves again. I took three deep breaths. My heart was racing. The images of Taeyeon struggling against the choker as that chief was pulling against the chain were burned in my mind. I knew that those images would haunt me for a long time to come. Even more so than the image of that headless woman.

“Taeyeon?” I called out again, remembering that Taeyeon was still in the caves. I turned to the figure at the front of the caves. I did not care if she was a Kim in that moment. I just had to know that she was okay.

I stood up slowly from the cave walls and walked weakly towards her. I heard the rustling of her coat and assumed that she was cold. I was over reacting. I knew it. Taeyeon had done nothing to harm me as of far. She even chased away her father and her men, refusing to reveal herself and risking having to go back to the village. The small innocent body that I held in my arms this morning were nothing of the threatening type. No weapons, no secrets, nothing that would even hurt a fly.

As I approached her, I noticed something odd. As I took even more steps further I noticed a furry object burying through the coat.

“Taeyeon?!” a exclaimed a little too loudly. The white furry thing removed itself from the coat and stared up at me. It was a white wolf cub.

“What are you doing here?” I asked it as thought it would answer back. It then just ignored me and continued to dig into the pocket of Taeyeon’s overcoat. I noticed the berries that were in her pockets before were all over the snow floor and the white animal’s fur. The berries must have attracted it here.

I bent down to the wolf cub’s level and patted its head slowly. The wolf cubs would sometimes wonder up to these caves and they were never a threat to me. They just walk by and occasionally walk in to the caves in hopes of finding food. Maybe that was why I had that weird dream of the wolves. With Taeyeon’s connection to the Kim and the wolf sounds this cub was making, I must have fabricated a disturbing image during my sleep from the stress.

Still, I am now even more worried than ever. Taeyeon had truly left me to my own life once more. She was back with her own family now. The village would acknowledge her as a hero for surviving my ‘wrath’. She would move on with life like anyone else would.

That was how it was supposed to be in the beginning and that is how it will be.

But something felt odd.

I knew it was the right thing to do to let her leave, but my mind was telling me that I was wrong. My heart is punishing me for making such a decision and my whole body overall was giving up on me. What I did was right for her, but was it right for me?