»Taeyeon«

It was cold. It was very cold. Sitting alone on an unstable branch watching wolves circle around you wasn’t something that I would have ever found myself doing. My arms were tired, my legs were numb and my whole body overall was cold. I know I had already prepared myself to give up my life but it couldn’t just end like this could it? No one would have known what happened to me. No one would have cared. Throughout my whole life enclosed in a small building, I have been inexistent. So why was I scared that no one would know who I was when I’m gone.

‘No matter what happens to you, be thankful that you are alive. Do what you can to make your life and the lives of others better. The saddest thing you can do is to die alone…’

Those words. Those ringing words.

I didn’t want to die alone. I was willing to sacrifice myself for the legends because I knew my father would still remember me. But now, he thinks I’m safe. I would not have made a mark into this world. My life would have had no purpose. It scares me. Everyone has a role in their society… why didn’t I?

Dying alone is something everyone dreads. The feeling of the cold emptiness fills your soul completely when you realise that your life never really mattered. You were just an extra. A minuscule grain of sand. A nuisance.

I wanted at least one person to know who I was, not including the elders and my father. I want to be someone. I want to know someone in return. I couldn’t die yet. Not now… Not here… I just long for someone to call my name rather than address me as ‘princess’ or ‘dear’. Just once would be enough. Just once…

“Taeyeon-ah”

That voice…

“Yah! Kim Taeyeon!”

There was a cold yet sweet and worried voice calling out my name. Where was I? Had I already passed on? No… I couldn’t have yet… I still feel the cold piercing into my skin.

“Wake up you peasant girl”

This time the voice was louder and clearer. I blinked a few times as I realised that my eyes were closed shut. With each blink, the surroundings around me slowly became clearer. It was all white. Everything from the floor to the walls was covered in white snow. Is this what the heavens looked like?

“Wh-Where am I?” I managed to croak. My voice was hoarse, my throat was sore. My body was aching from head to toe and in front of me, stood a girl who I did not know. I blinked a few times again to get rid of the unclear vision until I managed to get a clear view of the girl in front of me. She seemed familiar. Very familiar.

“I should have just walked you to the next village. Honestly.” The girl said impatiently. Next village? What village? I looked up at the girl for some answers but as I looked up, she stood up and walked to the other side. I came to realise that this wasn’t the heavens. I could see outside that a strong storm was blowing as more snow started to pile up at the entrance. My teeth were chattering away when a stray wind blew into the entrance causing goosebumps to crawl over my arms. I closed my eyes for a short while whilst I tried to gather my thoughts together again. I wasn’t inside my cosy house anymore. In fact, I wasn’t even in my village. If I remembered correctly, I should be surrounded by a pack of wolves.

“Here.” The girl in front of me threw me a thick overcoat before she proceeded to a pile of sticks in the middle of the floor. My numb fingers slowly picked up the overcoat and placed it over my shoulders clumsily. I then looked back at the girl in the middle of the floor trying to light up the pile of sticks. I remember now…

Yesterday was my birthday, the day I was chosen to be given up as a sacrifice to the Ice Princess. This girl in front of me is the one who everyone believes killed those many women all those years ago.

“P-Princess?” I managed to utter. Every time I tried to move my lips, it would hurt. The girl in the thin clothing turned around to stare at me and raised her eyebrow questionably.

“Jung… Jung…” I tried to finish off my sentence. She wasn’t the Ice Princess. She was just a lonesome girl inside a small cave. Jung Jessica. The one who had saved my life twice in a span of two days.

“Jess…”

»Jessica«

“Jung… Jung…” Taeyeon continued to utter. Honestly, that girl cannot stay quiet. I’m still waiting for her to continue her sentence but I noticed something was different about her. Her skin was getting paler as her lips were getting darker. Her body seemed weak and her eyes struggled to keep open. I turned back around again and desperately tried to start a fire to heat her up, but the problem was that I had never started a fire before. I hated the heat and tried to stay away from it as much as possible.

But now, I was trying to make heat. Ironic how when you need something, it’s never there.

“Jess…” Taeyeon’s soft murmur interrupted me again. I turn around once more, hoping that she would finish her sentence. But instead, her body fell limp as she lay onto the cold ice floor, shivering against the cold. There was no point in making a fire now, not while she was like this. By the time I was able to light a fire was probably by the time summer will come. I threw the useless pieces of rock away and ran over to the cold body. I pressed my palm against her cheek only to feel the icy temperature of her skin.

“Taeyeon… Wake up…” I shook her slightly. The cold was too much for her. She needed warmth. Any type of warmth. She was already wearing all the clothing she had brought with her and there was no chance that a fire would be able to warm her up.

“I don’t… want to… d-die alone…” Taeyeon uttered barely audibly. She had been murmuring this before. She kept on mumbling something about a nuisance and existence. But that didn’t matter right now. I had to get her warm. She would probably know why my heart tugs when she wasn’t here. Why I felt so empty and lonely even though I never had before. She started all my problems, she would be the one to fix them.

“Excuse me…” I said quickly before I took off her overcoat. I then started stripping down all her layers until I was at the last layer. Should I be doing this? My body is already cold; I don’t think that it would help her if I tried. I looked down at Taeyeon and noticed that her breathing was becoming uneven. This wasn’t a time to strip her down and hesitate whilst she was struggling against the cold.

Without any hesitation, I took off her last layer along with mine, leaving both our pants on. I held her ice cold body into my own and wrapped the clothes lying on the floor around both our bodies. My body was warmer than hers. For once, my body was warm. It wasn’t as cold as the winter winds; it wasn’t as cold as the winter snow. It was warm.

“Look what you’ve done to me” I whispered into her ear as I held her tighter. The both of us sat in the corner of my lonesome cave, huddled with no space between us.

“Jessica…” Taeyeon whispered into my ear. How long had it been since I heard someone call me that? Too long. It had been too long. So long in fact, that I wasn’t quite sure whether it was my name anymore.

“C-Cold…” Taeyeon continued. I didn’t know what I could do. This was the best thing I could do for her. It was awkward enough having both our bare bodies touch each other, but with the constant shivering coming from her, it was making it even more uncomfortable. I then felt something grip onto my back weakly, followed by a movement inside my arms. I looked down to see the crown of Taeyeon’s head under my neck. She nuzzled her head in further into my neck. Her cheeks were cold. Her fingers were freezing and her heartbeat was dangerously low.

“Stay warm… You’re not allowed to be taken by the cold. You still have to help me.” I whispered into her ear as I gripped her even tighter. A weak nod was given to me by the girl and I took that as a promise. Wherever my skin made contact with hers, it would send waves of unsteady feelings into my body. Her village probably had a cure for these problems. I didn’t want to end up feeling like this for the rest of eternity. It was foreign, painful and annoying.

Another wind blew through the cave, bringing in more snow from the outside. I was usually grateful for those stray winds, but right now I wanted it to cease. The cold may be bearable to me, but it wasn’t to Taeyeon. This weak young girl sacrificed her life to come up here, whether it was voluntary or not it didn’t matter. Someone like her shouldn’t be taken by the cold winds. It was unfair. Especially if it was around me. I had begged for the cold to claim me for over the past hundred years yet there still hasn’t been a single scratch on me. The cold changed me instead of taking me.

“What is it… that you wish me to help you with?” A small voice murmured into the crook of my neck. I pulled away slightly and looked down at her. I saw that she was still pale but she looked slightly better than before, but only ever so slightly. I just sighed and pressed her head back into the crook of my neck as my hands secured her into position.

“I’ll tell you later. You can’t do anything at the moment” I answered back coldly. I felt her nod again as she relaxed in my arms. I didn’t know what I was doing anymore. With the exchange in body heat, my body was reaching much warmer temperatures. By now I would have probably ran out of the cave and laid flat on the snow floor outside to cool myself down, but with the fragile body in my arms, I wasn’t allowed to.

Silence filled the cave once more. The only thing I could hear was the steady beating of her heart. The sound was comforting. For one, it was a sign that she was still alive, but another reason was that I never really had the chance to experience hearing someone else’s heart beat beside me. The sound of someone’s life, the sound of many life forms and the sound of warmth. I wonder if I have a heartbeat. I moved one of my arms from Taeyeon’s back and pressed it against my chest beside where Taeyeon’s head resides. I could feel a faint beating underneath my skin and was a little surprised by it.

“Your heart beats at the same rate as mine.” Taeyeon suddenly moved away from my neck and smiled at me faintly. I was a little surprised by her sudden actions but even more so about her statement.

“How would you know?” I asked back bluntly. She then just smiles and reaches for my other hand on her back and placed it above her chest. From both hands I could feel faint beatings beating at the same time. It was fascinating to listen to, but I think I was listening to it for a little too long as I saw Taeyeon develop shivers again. I dropped my hands from our chests and pulled her back into my arms roughly with a frown on my face.

“You’re very warm Jessica.” Taeyeon added out of nowhere. I just chuckled at her ironic remark.

“Can’t the Ice Princess be warm?” I challenged. It felt disgusting uttering my supposed name. That baker. That village.

“Jessica?” Taeyeon’s curious voice interrupted me. I looked down and noticed that I was starting to dig my nails into her back causing red marks to appear. I immediately relaxed my hand and placed them harmlessly above the marks I had just made. My throat was dry as I soothed the marks I had just made. I was so caught up in my past that I hadn’t realised I was hurting Taeyeon. She didn’t do anything against me. It was that village, that baker and that village chief that condemned me here. I opened my mouth to apologize but closed it almost immediately. I was not the one to apologize. After all, whatever I say goes. A princess never apologizes to peasants.

Thankfully, Taeyeon didn’t mind and just rested in my arms again. The faint beating of her heart filled my ears again but now followed by the faint beating of mine. Both were beating at the same rate only mine was just slightly weaker than hers. I looked down again to check on Taeyeon. Her cheeks were slowly getting warmer and her lips weren’t so blue anymore. As I continued to check on her condition, I noticed that her breathing was becoming faint and steady. Her eyes were closed comfortably as her head was now completely on my shoulder.

“She fell asleep” I scoffed with disbelief. For the short time that I’ve known her if she’s not loud, proud and dominant then she’s unconscious or asleep. I looked outside the cave again to see that the weather was slowly calming down as well. I sighed heavily and used my hand to rustle my hair. What was I going to do now? I couldn’t do anything except sit here in nothing but my pants with a girl wearing just as much in my arms. Who could have foreseen this? It certainly wasn’t anything I thought I’d be doing in the millions of years to come.

“Ice… Demon… Princess Jung” Taeyeon murmured once again. This girl honestly can’t stay quiet even in her sleep. I knew who she was murmuring about though. She started to turn in her sleep. I’m guessing that it wasn’t a pleasant dream. She’s dreaming about me and it’s causing her to become like this. Frightened, scared, hopeless. It hurt. When she challenged the beliefs of her village I have to admit that I was hopeful. Hopeful that at least one person didn’t believe those lies. But seeing her like this, I’m slowly starting to think that she was just trying to put on a brave face just in case I did kill her.

“And here I thought you were different” I uttered quietly as I buried myself into her neck. My last hope of redeeming myself as innocent was gone. As soon as day was to arrive again, I would bring this girl back to her village. My heart felt heavy. I felt this before many years ago. Many, many years ago. I knew what it was… Betrayal. But there was a second part to it. It hurt a lot more. Much more. I gripped onto the warm body in my arms. I couldn’t let her go yet. She still had to make things right again. Return me to my former Ice Princess. Rid me of these strange feelings and return things to the way they were before.

“Go… back to village…” Taeyeon then let out a lonesome tear from her eye. I wiped it away hesitantly with a frown on my face.

“I’m not letting you go yet.” I said determinedly. Not yet… Not just yet.

»Taeyeon«

I could hear her heartbeat. I rested my head against her chest and relaxed. My fingers and limbs were still cold but the warmth radiating off the Princess’ body was slowly starting to warm me up. I blushed again at the thought of the both of us being bare against each other. It wasn’t something people do every day; in fact, I think that it was only suitable if the two were married, even then it wasn’t done regularly. If only the village knew of the real Ice Princess. They would no longer live in fear and she would no longer live alone.

Her body was not as cold as the winter winds, her body was as warm as cup of tea we had in the winter. She wasn’t as evil as the demons of hell, she was as kind as the wild deer in the forests. And certainly, she did not have a heart of ice. Her heart was as fragile as anyone else’s. It was a heart made of the finest crystal. If not handled with care, it will tarnish and break. Her heart beats steadily. Once, then twice. The sound of her heart was slowly lulling me back to sleep, but I was curious of something. I pressed my ear closer to her heart and gently pressed my hand against my neck.

One, two

One, two.

The two hearts were beating in sync. The body under me started to shift as a hand was brought up beside my face next to the Princess’ heart. I looked up to see a slightly confused face on the Princess’ face. Did she believe on the legends of our village too?

“Your heart beats at the same rate as mine” I told her faintly. It was still too cold for my body to function properly but I tried my best to smile with my weary lips.

“How would you know?” She asked back coldly. I wasn’t in any condition to explain, so instead, I reassured her with another smile before I took the hand on my back and placed it above my chest. She paused for a moment and I saw that she knew I was right. I could see a small smile creep onto the side of her lips and was kind of grateful I was able to achieve it. Not once had I seen her show any signs of a happy expression. Her hand then started to slide against my skin slightly. I suddenly felt some waves of shocks come from where her skin made contact with mine causing me to shiver along with it.

I was then suddenly pulled back into the Princess’ embrace harshly as her arms wrapped around my body again. My cheeks flushed slightly when I felt her warm shoulders on my cheek. I wasn’t used to having contact with anyone let alone have this much skin ship with someone I barely knew.

“You’re very warm Jessica” I murmured finding it very ironic to her nickname.

“Can’t the Ice Princess be warm?” she challenged me back. I chuckled slightly at her remark. She must have found it ironic as I did. Before I could say anything more, I felt something digging into my . I turned my head around to see the princess digging her nails into my back, making marks wherever she made contact with me. I winced slightly when I felt her grip tighter.

“Jessica?” I uttered quietly. I wondered if I had offended her with my remark. Jessica looked down at me with distant eyes as she slowly traced my back towards her own hands. She immediately eased the pressure of her nails from my back and pressed against the sore areas with her palm. I looked up at her to see that her expression had become cold but her eyes seemed as though they were focused on something much more distant. She glanced at me with open slightly but she closed it up again. Although she didn’t apologize to me, I could tell from her eyes that she was sorry. That was enough for me. I’m sure she didn’t mean to do that to me. And if she did then I probably deserved it.

I then rested my head onto her shoulders again in order to keep warm. Once again, as soon as I made contact with her, I felt another wave of shocks through me. I ignored the feeling though. It was probably from the difference in our body temperatures that made me feel like that. I could hear her faint beating heart again and I smiled knowing that mine was beating at the same time as hers was. It was reassuring that I had some similarities with one other person out there, even if it may seem a little awkward. I turned my head slightly to the side and stared out of the cave. The weather was slowly calming down and I was kind of thankful. I knew I was troubling the princess right now. She always made uncomfortable gestures and would awkwardly place her hands around me.

I’ll try again tomorrow to find a place to fend for myself. Maybe somewhere close to here so that I would be able to visit the princess every once in a while… As long as one person knew about me I’m satisfied.

“Taeyeon-ah. Your friend’s here to see you” My father advised me. I looked around to see that I was in my small room once more. That was odd.

“Hurry up. She’s waiting for you” my father called out to me again. I raised my hand up to my head and stared at him with confusion. Who was waiting for me? My friend? Since when did I exist in this village let alone have a friend? Hesitantly, I stood up and walked to the front door. As I opened the door, a girl about my age was standing there with an expectant smile. I stared at her with wide open eyes.

“Princess Jung?” I exclaimed loudly. My father then came up behind me and placed his hand onto my shoulder.

“Now Taeyeon, what’s with that greeting?” My father advised me. I just continued to stare at my supposed friend in front of me. I swear she was the princess. She had to be. The same facial features, same eyes, same mouth. I hesitantly reached my hand out and touched the girl’s hand. That same tingling sensation I felt when I touched Jessica’s.

“Are you alright Taeyeon?” the girl asked me again with an expectant stare. I felt dizzy. Why was a girl looking like the princess here? Why was I here in the first place? Back in the village where I never existed. I frowned slightly as I ran out of the house and stared down the town up into the mountains. There was a large tree above a cliff hedge and I knew that behind that tree was a cave in which the princess resides.

“Why are you staring up there?” the princess-look-a-like asked me. I turned to her with questionable eyes and gripped onto her hands.

“Who lives up on that mountain?” I asked bluntly. She was caught off guard by the sudden question and just raised her eyebrow up high.

“What do you mean who lives in that mountain? If you mean bears, wolves and wild animals then I guess them.” She answered back as she stared at me strangely. I turned to my father and frowned at him.

“What happens every five years?” I asked him. The two of them were now staring at me with confused expressions.

“The festival of the winter. Taeyeon it’s your favourite celebration. How could you forget?” my father looked at me with a worried expression. Festival of the winter? My favourite celebration?

“I think you still haven’t recovered from your cold Taeyeon. Maybe you should stay inside for today. I’ll come back again next time.” The girl patted my head and skipped off as my father dragged me back into the house.

“What about the Ice Demon Princess Jung?” I uttered with confusion as I was tucked into bed again. My father gave me another worried expression and patted my head before he walked out of my room. This was madness. The village beliefs. The village traditions. What happened to them all?

I lay there in my bed as the things around me started to change. The walls slowly disappeared as they melted away into what became the scenery just outside the village. I slowly stood up from my bed before it too disappeared into the background and I was faced with a group of men. I walked up to them hesitantly and as I walked up, I saw the princess-look-a-like in the middle of them. She looked at me with scared eyes. Those innocent, vulnerable eyes. Before I could even react to anything, the men around her pushed her further down the snow covered road. I could see my father standing behind them with an angered expression.

“Curse you. Curse you for the rest of your life. You and your wretched heart. Your cold, solid heart. I swear by the gods of the heavens that I will do everything in my power to make the rest of your life suffer. I swear, through my bloodline, I will cause you to pay for what you did.”

My father pointed at the girl before waving the men off. All I could do was watch as she was taken away up into the mountains.

“Jessica…” I uttered in disbelief. My father then turned around and faced me. I looked up at him fiercely as I held my breath. He began walking closer and closer to me till he was right in front of me before pausing. Whilst he was in front of me, I managed to get a better look at him. He had a scruffy beard accompanied with an equally scruffy moustache. His lips were pursed down hard with his eyes being as narrow as a hawk’s. What stood out the most though was the scar he had on his left cheek.

“Y-You’re not my father…” I uttered at the realisation. He was too rough, too rugged. My father wasn’t this tall, and he did not certainly have that scar. The man that stood before me ignored me. He stared down to the palm of his hand where there was a necklace. I instantly recognised it.

It was the same necklace my father has. The necklace of our family. Of the village chiefs. Every chief of the village would have been in possession of that necklace. It was a symbolism of power… Why did he have it?

I tried to snatch the necklace back from the strange man’s hands but to my surprise, my hand just passed straight through his. I tried again and the results were still the same. His hand just passed straight through. The man then moved his hand and put the necklace around his neck.

“Through my bloodline… I will make you pay.” He uttered before walking off again. He walked straight through me as though I wasn’t even there. And I probably wasn’t. My body just passed straight through his.

What is this? Where am I?

I turned around to see the man walking back to the village. It seemed different to my own but there were many features that were still the same. The old bakery store, the village elder’s headquarters and the chief’s family hut. It was so different yet so similar. Where was I?

I then heard a piercing scream and quickly turned my head around. I saw the group of men pushing the girl that was on the floor even further up the road. I could see that the girl was injured from the red snow that was slowly forming under her leg. I ran up to the girl and noticed that there was a deep gush in her leg.

I tried to help her up but like before, my hand just passed straight through.

“Wretched Demon.” One of the men spat on her. The girl gripped onto the snow on the floor as she tried to get up again. Once she stood up, she glared at the men behind her. It looked as though she was glaring at me. I knew that face. It was none other than Jessica’s. It had to be her. It couldn’t be anyone else. It just couldn’t.

Those same piercing eyes. That same cold stare.

As I was staring at the girl, I hadn’t realised that the men were now forcibly dragging her up the road. I tried to follow and maybe find a way to help but my feet were rooted where they were.

An arm grabbed onto mine forcibly. I turned around to see my father looking at me with concerned eyes. This man was my father. He was different from the man before.

“Time to go back to the village Taeyeon. The Ice Princess will get you if you don’t.” This was definitely my father.

“You have to go back to your room Taeyeon. I can’t risk the Princess seeing you.” He continued. My feet remained in place. That lonesome room where only I existed. The only place I existed.

“I don’t want to go back.” I said silently. My father turned around and continued to stare at me expectantly.

“I’m not going back to the village. I don’t want to go back to the village. I don’t want to go back to that lonesome room.” I continued mumbling. My father’s hand gripped onto mine even harder. I could see that he was slowly starting to change.

“You will go back” he growled. I could see his hands slowly changing. His nails began to grow into long talons. His shirt was growing tight as his body slowly grew. When his shirt finally burst open I could see his tough skin. I looked up at my father’s face to see it slowly changing.

“That Demon will take you. Come back where you are safe.” His voice changed into a deep dark growl.

“Sh-She’s not the demon…” I uttered. I looked behind my demon of a father to see a few people walking on the streets. Or at least I thought they were people at first. When I saw them clearly, each and every one of them had a demonic feature on them. The village was inhabited by demons, and yet they call the princess one. I looked back to where I could just barely see the princess being dragged up. The men had also changed but the girl remained the same.

The princess was not a demon. She was human. Everyone else was a demon. Consumed by hate and greed. If the villagers were demons… then what would that make me?

I looked down to where my hand was still in the demon’s grasp. They were still human. I was still human.

“Taeyeon!” My father growled loudly as everything around me shook. I began to lose my footing as slowly, everything was consumed in flames.

Everything was burning. Being destroyed, obliterated. My father seemed to be causing everything. The villagers seemed unaffected by the changing surroundings, however I was. My body was slowly starting to burn.

“Come back to the village and you will survive Taeyeon. You can be human once more.” The deep low voice growled. Lies. It was all lies. What they believe to be human is just demonic. I didn’t want to go back to the demon village. Not now, not ever. The burning flames of hell consumed what I thought was my home. I was fed lies, corrupted.

“I said no” I pronounced clearer. My father’s grip around my hand tightened even more as his talons dug into my skin. He then suddenly let go. I stood there, dumbfounded for a few moments. The demon before me gave an evil smirk.

“Then I have no choice but to condemn you. You could have lived Taeyeon. You were my daughter.” He said slowly. He then turned his back towards me and slowly walked away. I stood there silently. I had just betrayed my father. But why was he a demon in the first place? What was going on?

“Wretched demon” I heard my father mutter once more before he clicked his fingers. As soon as he clicked his fingers, the floor beneath me began to slowly deteriorate. I didn’t even have enough time to react before I had nothing under my feet. I slowly began falling into the darkness below me. Flames surrounded me. Was this truly the end of me? The daughter of a demonic man. Raised and surrounded by demonic people.

“I’m not letting you go yet.”

That voice. Jessica?

I closed my eyes as I was falling. Waiting for the cold hard bottom to hit me. But instead, I felt warm arms wrapped around me. I opened my eyes again.

“Not just yet.” Repeated the voice.

I looked around for a moment to see myself in the cave once more. To the side of my head was the princess’ own. I was back. Away from the burning flames. Away from the lies.

“Jessica” I whispered silently. The Princess. The only true human I knew.

“Don’t let me go back.” I hugged her tightly, afraid to let her go.

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