Jessica

“What wrath do you speak of Jessica?”

The soft melodic voice that I had been deprived of lately filled my ears. My heart ached when the voice echoed and repeated through my mind over and over. My muscles all instantaneously tensed with expectations. I could feel a tingling sensation spread through my arms.

“I’m sorry. I should excuse myself now,” the same voice quickly stuttered as the entrance of the barn was heard again. I quickly turned around to catch a glimpse of the owner of the voice. True to my instincts, the owner of the voice was someone I knew. My desired reward for my own freedom was standing before me. She was huddled at the door with layers and layers of clothing to keep her warm. Her brunette hair fell messily behind her back as her distinct jawline beamed from underneath her hair.

“Wait,” I called quickly to prevent her from leaving so quickly. I found myself fully turned towards her now. The pain in my wrists was no longer present. I could feel nothing except for the beating of my heart against my chest.

“Taeyeon?” I had to question to make sure that I hadn’t gone insane. The small body at the entrance dropped their arms to their side. I waited patiently for her to turn around to reveal herself to me but I found myself waiting for a prolonged period of time.

“I’m sorry to have caused you so much trouble. I apologize for what my father has done to you and I swear on what’s left of my life that I will do what I can to free you,” she muttered barely audibly. I got to my knees and inched closer towards the still figure before me. She refused to look at me. She inched a step away from where I was and turned herself so that I could no longer see her side profile.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shown myself to you. I’ll excuse myself now,” she quickly opened the entrance to the outside world and stepped out and hesitant. I could see that she was debating whether she should lock me back up or leave it open. I struggled to my feet with my hands tied behind my back and walked towards her. She was still staring at the locks on the gate as her hands were trembling.

“You have not fulfilled your promise to help me before you leave. You’re not going to break that promise again are you?” I asked her with a mocking tone. She looked up cautiously towards my gaze and quickly averted it upon making eye contact. Her hands gripped onto the gate even tighter as she muttered words that I couldn’t understand.

I took this chance to take a step towards her. I stopped when I was about three feet away. I was aware of the smell that I was emitting and did not wish to cause her discomfort by invading her breathing space but I stood just close enough to see her features. Her face was still pale and her lips have yet to regain their full healthy colour. I silently cursed the chief of the village for not tending her needs properly, but I was in no place to judge.

“I… I wasn’t supposed to be here. The maid was supposed to clean you. I just needed to leave the banquet and escape from the endless strangers greeting me,” she replied quietly. I emitted a small chuckle and took a step back into the barn. I stared at the bucket of water she had prepared and couldn’t help but feel as though I was treated as an animal by the villagers. I did not blame her for bringing such an inhumane way of cleaning as she had taken the duties off another villager.

“That still does not change the fact that you are here. You have yet to fulfil your promise in the mountains and now you wish to escape your duties here in your own village?” I couldn’t control my vocal chords. I don’t know whether it was the reaction of seeing her well again or whether I’ve gone completely insane, but I sounded desperate. I could taste the desperation in my mouth as the words escaped.

I had no means of dignity left so I should not care if I sounded inferior, but around her I feel as though I had something to prove. Around her I felt as though I had something and that I was worth something here.

“I’m sorry,” she apologised once more.

“You belittle yourself too much. You are too willing to apologize,” I cocked an eyebrow up at her. She quickly opened and lifted her head, ready to disagree. I waited but once again I waited in vain. She quickly closed again and lowered her head once more. I was slowly getting tired of this game. I had no right to keep her here let alone make her feel uncomfortable. Right now she needed to return to her warm home and rest to regain her health.

“Forget I said anything. Return to your home and forget you ever saw me here,” I told her quickly before returning to the back of my prison. I could hear the hesitant shuffling behind me as the gate was closed again. I took a deep breath to steady my system down. My heart was beating at an unbearable pace for the past few moments and it was causing my systems to tire out.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to clean myself with my hands still tied behind my back but I did not care. What use was there to clean myself if I were to be abused again the next morning? It was a waste of water, time and effort. The smell was unsettling but I had grown used to it. I had to prepare my stomach for what was to come tomorrow and this was the only preparation I had. I found it rather amusing that a princess would be lowered to such a status; covered in rotten fruit and other unknown substances.

“Truly a princess of noble class,” I sighed heavily as a plunged back down onto the floor.

I then felt two cold hands grasp onto my wrists.

“This lowly peasant shall remain by the princess’ side until she orders me to leave,” the familiar quote spoken by the all too familiar voice calmed my nerves down immediately. As I remained still, the restraints around my wrists were suddenly gone. My hands throbbed with the sudden blood rushing through my fingers as a tingling sensation slowly took over. I turned my head back to the person who had freed me and I saw the two onyx orbs staring straight back at me with a nervous smile.

“I know you do not wish to see me right now, but I did take upon the responsibility to clean you and I am going to continue with that responsibility,” she explained to me briefly before walking over to the bucket of water nearby. I lifted my hands up towards my view and examined them. I could see where the ropes had once been before as it marked my skin painfully. I rubbed it slightly against my own palm to relieve the odd feeling before being startled once more by the bucket of water being placed beside me. I stared at the bucket whilst she stared at me.

When I tore my gaze away from the bucket and back towards her, she quickly averted her eyes once more. Instead of remaining silent and still, she moved towards the water and took out a damp towel. She squeezed most of the water out of the towel and proceeded to move closer to me. I stared at her with a dull expression as she lifted the towel towards my cheek. She caught my gaze and stopped, keeping the gaze between us. Before she could pull away again, I decided to end this game and grabbed onto her wrist to keep it in its place.

“What are your responsibilities, Kim Taeyeon?” I asked her coyly. Taeyeon bit her lower lip nervously and stopped trying to force her hand away. Instead, she dabbed the wet cloth against my skin and started removing the stains caused by the villagers earlier that morning. I lowered my arms to a comfortable position as she continued to dab and wipe away the mess upon me.

Throughout the whole process, my eyes were locked onto her. I could see that she was trying hard to avoid eye contact with me, but I still continued to stare. I noticed her eyebrows furrowed every once or so and would occasionally bite her lip when she met a stubborn stain. Relief was washing through my system with each moment that passed by. She was safe and well once more. My freedom hadn’t wasted.

Without my control or to my knowledge, a relieved and relaxed smile was starting to grow on my lips. I closed my eyes and breathed in heavily as her comforting touches continued. I felt as though a huge weight has been taken off my body and I almost felt as though I would lose my consciousness from the light-headedness I felt. So this must be what it feels like to be at peace. I had not experienced this for many years if not at all during my long life span. It was a feeling that I would not mind getting used to.

I was only slightly aware of what she was doing to me, but as soon as she started dabbing the cloth on the other cheek of mine, I grabbed her wrist quickly to stop her.

“A small way… to show my gratitude…”

Taeyeon’s weak words replayed itself in my mind as I remembered what was placed upon my cheek not long ago. I had forgotten about the small sign of gratitude Taeyeon had shown me and cursed myself for not remembering sooner.

“I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” a panicked voice snapped me back to reality. I looked back towards the front to see a fear stricken village girl staring at me nervously. I looked at the wrist that was in my hand and realised that my grip had been slightly tight.

“It’s… it’s nothing,” I decided not to tell her of the reasons behind my actions. I was not even sure if she was aware of her doings whilst she has half conscious. It would be best if I were not to remind her of anything she did not wish to remember.

Taeyeon’s expression showed one of concern, but nonetheless, she continued to dab the cloth against my skin and occasionally rewashes the dirtied cloth to continue. As she wiped away what remains on my cheek, I couldn’t help but feel disheartened that her sign of gratitude would be washed away. I tried my best to keep my disappointment hidden but I could feel my eyebrows furrow slightly.

Slowly, her hands proceeded down towards my neck. She continued with her chore of cleaning me up carefully. The water was starting to cool down as it was no longer warm against my skin, but wherever her skin made contact with mine it would feel like a blazing hot iron. It contrasted against the cold wet material she was using against my skin and made my stomach churn with the two polar opposite feelings.

I closed my eyes to find some control over what I was feeling but I did not have the chance before her hand froze just above my collar. I opened my eyes again to see her staring at something along my shoulder. I followed her gaze but saw nothing out of the ordinary and turned back to question her.

“Is there something wrong?” I asked, trying to conceal my concern as much as I could. She bit her lower lip even harder this time and lowered her hand towards my shoulders.

“M-May I?” she stuttered. I glanced down to where her hands were and eyed the straps of my shirt that she was holding onto. I was confused with what she had requested, but when her hand slowly slipped the material off my shoulders, I understood immediately.

As an automatic reaction, I grabbed her hands to stop her. I was not ready to allow myself to be bathed or stripped by another person yet. If she were to continue, I would be the one to take my own clothes off.

“Wait, I –” I started to explain myself but a low hiss escaped her lips. I felt her arm pull away from my grip slightly as her body winced with the force I was applying to her wrist. I turned my attention back towards the wrist in my hands and noticed a slightly red mark revealing itself from underneath the long sleeve overall. A sharp tug was then pulled against my hands but I quickly gripped it again in order to satisfy my curiosity.

“No, don’t do th –” she tried to stop me but it was already too late. I pulled the sleeves of her clothes up and revealed her whole forearm. Along the whole circumference of her wrist was a distinct red marking and in some places open wounds. I recognised these markings as I also had them on my own arms.

I lifted my own wrist and placed it beside hers to compare the marks. Mine were relatively more distinguished because they were only freed just moments ago, but the two markings looked identical. The markings on her wrists were exactly the same as the marks left by the ropes around my own.

I didn’t understand. Why would the chief’s daughter have such a marking upon her arm? I had given her to the village completely free and unbound and yet she has returned with scars of the imprisoned.

As I was lost in my own thoughts, she quickly pulled her arm back and covered the markings once more. The air fell silent as neither of us uttered a word. With the uncomfortable silence setting pressure upon me, I decided that I would question her but before I could even collect my thoughts or will myself to move, she stood up abruptly and took three quick steps away.

“I’m sorry. I know you mustn’t want to see me during this moment. I’ll excuse myself now,” she rushed before she bowed her head so low that her hair could almost touch the floor. She did not bother to hesitate this time. She just walked straight out of the gates and left the barn. I was once again left alone but it was somewhat different from what it was this morning. The gates were open, the ropes around my arms are free and the guards were no longer in sight.

I could walk out of the village right now and return to my cave. I could just stroll past those gates and make my escape to a perhaps happier place. I could have regained my freedom by just taking a few steps from the place in which I stand now.

I could do all those things, but I won’t.

I was here for a reason. I was here in order to protect her safety. I had a responsibility here to this village. If I were to remain here, I could monitor her safety and see that the villagers are doing what they were supposed to do.

With the evidence being presented before me just moments ago, I could see that the chief had not kept his side of the exchange. Taeyeon was supposed to be nursed back to health, not injured. Her wrists were almost as painful as my own and I could tell that she was experiencing discomfort with the sudden injury around her wrist. I did not know why that mark was there in the first place, but I knew that I had to remain nearby.

If I were to leave now, there is a possibility that Taeyeon may be in danger. She would have been blamed for letting me go and probably would have to repay for the lost doll. She would probably be forced to take over my role as a revenge item.

I looked back at the bucket which was now half dirtied and cold. To think that if I were to leave now, she would have to go through what I was experiencing now. It would not be fair. If I were to remain here, I would at least get something back in return. As for her, she has nothing to gain if she were to be demoted to my level.

“The things I do for her,” I sighed to myself pathetically. I walked over to the gate of my prison and saw the unlocked bolt. I closed the gate once more and tried to reach to close the bolt but it was too far. Instead, I left it there and proceeded over to the ropes now lying on the floor. I would have never thought that I would willingly put these upon myself but I had no choice.

The exchange between the chief and I had yet to be complete. Until then, I will serve my time obediently, ropes and all. With a heavy heart, I started to slip the ropes over my hands again. Hopefully, she would take over the maid’s chores and visit me once more. It would at least make all that I do worthwhile.

Taeyeon

“Ah, here comes the main guest right now. Taeyeon, come greet your fellow villagers,” my father’s voice boomed over the small chatter of the villagers. I glanced up at the people feasting in what was supposed to be my honour. They kept their eyes glued to me as they were inspecting the chief’s daughter properly for the first time in their lives.

It made me uncomfortable. I felt like I was being put up to a podium and left there for all eyes to see and make a judgement upon me. It made me feel weak and sick from the uncomfortable looks of lust and disappointment. I then shifted my gaze to meet my father’s. We held the eye contact for a moment before his expression changed. They were almost threatening as he nodded towards the villagers, signalling for me to greet them.

I was tired of following his wishes. Instead of greeting the people like I should have, I turned my head swiftly away from everyone and walked towards my small room. I was sure that I would have a nice long talking to after my father was finished and I would probably have the rope around my wrists again but I was in no mood to follow his orders right now. I looked down at my wrists where the rope burns were and remember back to my encounter with the princess in the barn.

She never failed to make me turn into someone I did not know. I had no confidence around her. As soon as I step within ten feet away from her, I no longer have the ability to speak. My body would feel weak as the nervousness would take over quickly.

“Oh, Miss Kim,” the surprised voice of the maid filled the silence around me. I looked up to see her standing before the door of my prison with a tray of food and tea. I glanced up to her and raised an eyebrow to question why she was still there.

“I thought I dismissed you to attend to your daughter.” I walked up to her and took the tray off her hands before bringing it into the prison cell. She followed suit behind and took her seat in the furthest corner once more.

“She was busy with a few issues so I was not able to see her, but I thank you for giving me the opportunity,” she answered back calmly. I sat down on my bed and poured myself a warm cup of tea. From my seat I could see the village cheering and celebrating. I was sure this was just an excuse for the villagers to celebrate the capture of the princess rather than celebrating my return.

“Why are you not feasting with the rest of the villagers?” I asked solemnly. I found myself finding the company of the maid slightly comforting ever since my return. Although her intentions may not be for my own good, I was willing to accept whatever I could find.

“I do not find the reason behind the feast suiting and hence I do not wish to partake in such a celebration,” she answered me calmly. I laughed silently at her somewhat sane response.

“Tell me, how much did my father pay you to keep me hidden from the eyes of the village before?” I was curious to know how much my inexistence was worth now that I no longer had that. The maid did not answer me but I did notice the hesitation behind her actions.

“I would say not merely enough, Miss Kim,” the maid finally made a bold response. I placed the cup of tea to the side table and approached the made with a curious mind.

“Then why were your services always so… how do I begin to describe…” I hesitated to find the right words but nothing had come to mind.

“Motherly?” she finished off for me. I paused for a moment and glanced at her with a blank mind. Were her actions motherly?

“To me, I see you as my own daughter. I was never able to truly reveal myself to my daughter so I guess I transferred my love for her towards you,” she answered with a soft smile. I took three steps away from her and gave an apathetic laugh. She had probably felt sorry for someone like me and took it upon her responsibility to take over my mother’s role.

 “Did my mother ask you to do that?” I asked her with a small sense of hope. If she had told the maid to take over her role, I would probably feel somewhat at ease as she would know that I was alive but at the same time I would mostly feel betrayed that she would let someone else take over her role.

“Not exactly.”

Silence filled the small room. Not exactly? So my mother has said something but it wasn’t to take over her role as my mother.

“Do you know who my mother is?”

“I do.”

My heart was beating slightly faster at the knowledge that the maid knew of my mother. I stood before her once more and stared straight into her eyes. She smiled softly at my gaze and lifted her hand to pat the top of my head gently.

“Please. Tell me who she is,” I asked her ever so quietly. If I could find my other parent then I would still have hopes of escaping my father’s grasp. I could try to appeal to her and make her perhaps delay my father’s plans for me. During that time, I might even be able to free the princess from the inhumane barn.

“She –”

“Taeyeon! Come out here this moment. I need to talk to you,” father’s voice cut the maid off before she could say anything more. My blood was slowly starting to boil at my father’s rude intrusions at the most crucial moments. Grudgingly, I walked out from under the maid’s hand and faced an enraged, most probably intoxicated father. The maid followed behind as she would always and stood as far away from us as she could.

“Would you care to explain your rude actions towards your fellow people just moments ago? Do you know the embarrassment I had to go through to apologise on your behalf?” he boomed throughout the house. I bit onto the insides of my lip, holding my urges to retaliate against him.

“Not only did you not introduce yourself to the people, but you were missing for the whole night. Many suitors were looking for you for a chance to introduce themselves to you,” he continued. I was sure that there were many people out there just wanting to be next in line for our family pendant. It was s symbol of our divine power over the people.

“I did not wish to know any of the suitors,” I finally spoke up but in a lower tone. My father’s eyes immediately narrowed.

“You are the only offspring of our bloodline. You are to find a suitable male to take over for me and continue our traditions. Do you know the trouble I went through to protect you from the Princess? I even confronted her in the mountains to demand for your return,” he slammed his hand against a wall nearby. I finally looked at him through the eyes to see the burning anger coursing through him and I could see that he was trying to inflict his power upon me. Instead of cowering away, I challenged him instead with a cold and dull glare.

“The princess was the one whom protected me from you,” I stated boldly. Immediately after I had uttered those words, I had regretted it. If it was possible, my father’s glare would have probably set the whole village ablaze. I was amazed at myself for even saying such things but my tolerance for him was already gone. He had used up the last of it long ago. With my frustrations for him interrupting my conversation with the maid I had spoken the taboo words and stood up against him.

My father turned towards the maid who flinched at his gaze and called upon her. “Take Taeyeon to her room and make sure she does not leave until I say so. I shall check her within a few hours to see that you’ve done as I asked. Right now, I need to show my ungrateful daughter what I mean by protecting her from the Princess. I will show you that I am the one protecting you, not her.”

Without another word, I walked towards the small room and slammed the door shut. The front door soon slammed shut as the walls shook with the force of the slam. I saw the tea set upon the table nearby and brushed all of it onto the floor with frustration. I then felt a stinging pain on the side of my hand once everything was lying on the floor.

The door to the room then opened once more and the maid walked in once more. Her eyes immediately fell towards the floor where the shattered remains of the tea set were spread across the floor.

“So you’re going to tie me up like an animal again, aren’t you?” I almost growled at her. The maid did not answer but instead stared at the now throbbing hand of mine. I turned my attention back at my hand to see that there was a small cut on the side of it. I shook my hand once to rid of some of the pain and sat back down onto my bed where the rope was still attached to the top of it. I glared at it with pure hate as I waited for the maid to tie me back down.

“I do not have the heart to do that to you,” she sat beside the bed and lifted my hand up to inspect the cut. I pulled my hand away from hers and stared out the window.

“No matter what you feel, you still aren’t my mother. She left me long ago. I do not wish for anyone to take her place,” I uttered harshly. The maid stiffened at my cold tone and lowered her head slowly. The realisation that I wasn’t her daughter must’ve started to sink in as she retreated away slightly.

“My mother never wanted me and my father no longer wants me but that still doesn’t make me an orphan. I do not need a foster mother.”

My heart was beating loudly through my ears when I realised the truth behind my words. I was no different from an orphan. I never had a mother and now I no longer have a father. Even the maid had pitied me enough to take it upon her to act as my mother. It made me seem pathetic, lonely and unwanted.

“Lee Yoonji is your mother’s name. I can assure you that she cares for you dearly,” the maid whispered.

“Do you know her personally?”

“Yes.”

I took a deep breath. Lee Yoonji was my mother’s name. I was the daughter of Kim Kangin and Lee Yoonji. Unknowingly, I felt my lips tug at the sides after finally knowing something about the other person who had brought me into this life.

“Do you still talk to her often?” I continued. I finally had some information about my missing mother and I was willing to get my mind off my father for that moment.

“Quite often, yes.”

“Does she talk about me?”

“All the time.”

I turned my head away from the window and stared straight into the eyes of the maid. I didn’t know whether she was lying to me or not but I was willing to believe anything about the woman who I barely but wanted to know.

“Then why does she not visit me?” I finally said with a heavy sigh.

The maid did not utter a single word. Her lips were pursed tight and her eyes her hesitant. She didn’t know why my mother didn’t visit me. I was sure no one did.

“Don’t worry. Forget we ever had this conversation. I do not wish for her to visit me out of pity. You should probably tie me down before my father returns. You still have a daughter to provide for,” I said with a heavy heart as I held my hands out towards the rope. The maid hesitated with a disapproving expression on her face. I took it upon myself to take the rope and wrap it around my wrist ready for her to tie down.

“I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to do this to you, Miss Kim,” she defended. I just scoffed at her defence and started lacing the rope around my already sore wrists.

“My father would not be happy with either of us to see me as a free person. You can just tie it loosely to save me from the rope burns,” I reasoned with her. She bit her lower lip and frowned at the rope.

“Forget your motherly responsibilities and just do it. You have a duty to the chief and I do not wish for his short temper to cause him any more mistakes.”

The maid gave a heavy sigh and moved her hands towards the rope. She wrapped it around my wrists gingerly before securing a knot. I could read the disappointed expression on her face but I could not reason why she would do so. Yes I understood that I was seen as a replacement for her daughter, but it still did not mean I was blood related to her. Why she was so disheartened to do this to me remained a mystery.

Once I was tied back down to the bed, the maid walked over to bring me an overcoat to keep me warm during the night. I looked back down at my wrist where the rope was secured and immediately thought of the one who had changed the way I view my world.

“Would you be able to do a favour for me?” I asked once the overcoat was thrown over my shoulders. The maid raised an eyebrow at me, questioning what the favour would be.

“Would you be able to bring extra layers of clothing to the princess in the barn?” I asked in a hesitant tone. I was sure that I would be seen as mad but I still had to try. To my surprise the maid did not hold a surprised expression. Instead she just smiled slightly and waited for me to continue.

“Although many may not believe it, she’s the reason I’m back here alive. I at least want to show some signs of thanks towards her,” I continued.

“That is quite an act, Miss Kim,” the maid challenged. I sighed, slowly losing my hopes in achieving my goal.

“I know that I may sound mad, but this is the only thing that I would ask of you. You may not believe my words, but I’ve seen the true side of the princess.” I knew I sounded insane and I honestly did not care if I did. If I could manage to at least change someone’s views on the princes, I would feel some sense of accomplishment.

“I understand. I shall bring the princess an extra layer of clothing for the night. Should I send a message while I’m there?” the maid said rather optimistically. I was rather surprised at her acceptance at my request. The princess was someone whom was feared and mocked by the villagers, yet a simple maid was willing to bring her an extra layer of clothing.

“I owe her much and I understand why you would want to repay her for her deeds. I shall make sure that the chief and the guards do not know of this small favour,” she reassured. I felt at some rest knowing that Jessica would not have to sleep through another cold and harsh night with our villagers and was even more

“It’s fine. I don’t think she would wish to see me at the moment.”

“And what would make you think so?”

“Because I’m a descendant of the Kim’s family,” I answered with a disheartened sigh. The maid did not question any further and stood up to pull out the extra layer of clothing from the coat hanger and walked towards the door.

“I’m glad we had the chance to converse Miss Kim. You would not know how much this meant to me to be able to finally be able to talk to you,” the maid bowed her head slowly before walking out of the room. I never had the chance to appreciate what she does for me and it was only now that I realised that she might not have been as shallow as I thought she was.

I made a small reminder to myself that I would try to appreciate the company of the maid a lot more. I could see that she worked hard to provide for her daughter but I still not approve of her means of avoiding her. Perhaps, to take my mind away from my life’s issues, I would be able to help her with her daughter and maybe slowly get the village to recognise the princess for who she truly was.

From what the maid has shown me today, she was willing to understand the other views of people. If I was able to convince a small number of people, perhaps they could slowly get others to recognise what they see.

Perhaps, I had found my purpose to living. I would save this village from the demonic grasps and bring them out from the flames of prejudice. Just maybe, I would mean more than just a daughter of a strict man.

I glanced down at my arm again to see the proof of my imprisonment. I knew that my father would be the one to disprove of my actions, but if I could show him that there is more to life than just protecting me, maybe these ropes will never be used to confine anyone else’s freedom again.