Deep breath, calm down. Steady my racing heart, control my shaking knees. Close my eyes, and clear my mind, try to relax. As I step out into that hot sun, I remove myself from my comfor zone completely. No one knows me here, and everything is different. Being the ethnicity and coming from the home country are two totally different things. As I look out into the busy and crowded streets, I can only feel one thing: Alone.

I really am alone. For the first time in a really long time, I never had to come face to face with this feeling. It's different and strange. It scares me, and makes me want to run away from all of the hard work that will soon be payed off. It's making me, turn into something I'm not. And I don't like it at all.

-----

They call my name, but it sounds weird. They say it with, these weird accents that makes my name sound foreign to my own ears. They touch each other affectionately. Hugging, holding hands, spending alone time together. I sit by myself in the corner of the room, asking myself why I was in a room full of gay men that can sing and dance. There's this one guy, though, that stands out to me. His name is Kim Heechul.

He looks so, pretty, for a guy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not gay or anything, but this man doesn't look like a man at all! His pale white and smooth skin, his long black hair, those big eyes and those full and puty lips. Sounds like I'm describing a chick, right? He even has legs! Like, a nice pair of legs! I shake my head and think to myself,

God, what the hell did I get myself into!?

A few hours passed. The guys and I are starting to get a little more comfortable with each other, slowly but surely. I was walking the halls with this guy that looks like a monkey, Eunhyuk is his name I think, when we bump into Lee Soo Man. All of a sudden, Eunhyuk bows and greets him with "sunbaenim" at the ending. I look at him wih a questioning face, and turn to Soo Man. I reach out my hand and wait for him to shake it, as I greet him.

" 'Sup Mr. Lee!"

I hear Eunhyuk gasp behind me, as if I've done something wrong. I look at him and he's staring at me, as if I was a unicorn or something. Soo Man just shakes my hand and smiles at me instead, while giving me his card.

"You can call me that if you want, but the others just call me Lee Soo Man sunbaenim. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable."

I nod my head, with a disgruntled look on my face. What, they don't call each other Mister or Miss here...?

----

The first night I spend in Korea. I'm not so alone now, I have my friends with me. They're loud and obnoxious, and they fight as if they were really brothers. Sometimes the manager and even some of the PD noonas have to come out and scold us to be more quiet. I like it, though. The noise and the interactions, it seems to calm me.

Now I know that I can really come to these guys with anything. Any problem, concern, question that I have in my mind, the guys are willingly open to answer. They teach me some of their customs and sayings, and in turn I teach them some slang we used back in Canda. Oh man, this is going to be so funny if they say these types of things on TV!

----

It's time to go to bed. It's nice and cool, the moon full and bright outside my window. As much as I'd love to, I can't sleep. So many things has happened today, that I can't seem to wrap my mind around. Gay/Straigt guys, transgenders, different names for people, the jokes, the laughs, the FOOD! Everything was just a bit, overwhelming, if you'd call it that.

Whatever. As long as I'm happy here, which I know I will be, I know I have made the right decision into coming here. Well, here's to the start of an amazing career!