Title: Love Hurts
Author: a y i n g`
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/aying_2/
Reviewer: SaMaNtHa
Site: Fruity Society http://fruitysociety.blogspot.com/

Title: 3/5
Your title is short and its a very common title among winglin but your story did however connect to it well.

Poster/Background: 4/10
Well, when I first saw your poster I thought that it was going to be one of those stories that has a love triangle. One girl being the 'nice' one and one being the '' but that wasn't the case. Your story wasn't like that at all it was a sad love story I guess. Your poster did not connect well with your mood and or theme of your story. Your background was plain, there was nothing on it but it didn't interfere with your font so I guess there was no complaint about that. I'm giving you some points on this section because of your font color.

Forewords: 8/10
Your foreword was short, but it contained all the information needed. You included the character information, background information, and a catchy prologue. While reading your prologue it captured my attention and made me want to read more so that’s a plus! The only complaint about your foreword is that it was pretty short. It had all the information and all but it was short, I thought you could’ve added more information or details in your prologue but that's just me.

Plot: 4/15
Your plot wasn't really clear for me. I think that it was all over the place and didn't have a reason to it. Your plot was everywhere and confusing. One minute Yoochuns' dead then he's hugging Aisha? You also didn't state why the things were happening. For example, I wanted to know why Yoochun's mother wanted him to marry into the Jung family and why he couldn't say no. And how he and Aisha met. I would've liked for you to explain those things more, like I said the storyline wasn't clear for me I don't know the purpose of the plot. You also ended the story too early, you left the readers hanging. At least add a small dialogue or description of why he came back and how.

Creativity/Originality: 4/10
It wasn't really creative, I think. It’s an easy storyline to write, nothing happened it was...like I said an easy plot to write there were no conflicts no nothing. The originality was half and half. I never really read a story like yours but there were a lot of scenes that were cliché and the whole dating the best friend thing. That is way overused in fics. So 4 points for the originality

Flow: 2/10
Your flow was fast. Everything happened so quickly, for example. Yoochun was at Aisha's house then the next sentence he died, and then it has already been two years? I think that everything was fast and seemed rushed. By adding more information it can slow down your flow.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/10
For this section I didn't see any spelling or grammar mistakes. It was good; you had all the right punctuation so there’s not much to say about the spelling and grammar. Your vocabulary was good too! You used Basic English but also played with your vocabulary and used some big words and they were easy to understand.

Characterization: 2/10
I didn't really understand your characters. I didn't get what Yoochun's character was about and also Aisha, and Jessica's. They weren't really clear. I felt that you didn't give them a distinct personality and lacked information and details on them.

Writing Style: 8/10
Your writing style was neat and understandable. You used a fair amount of dialogue and descriptions. The only thing you need to work on is your details, flow, and your characterization. You were really good at writing with a unique style but lacked on your details.

Overall Enjoyment: 1/5
I didn't really enjoy it. It was too fast for me and I didn't really get the whole meaning of the story.

Bonus: 4/5
Umm...I hope you learn from this somehow and thank you for requesting at Fruity Society!

Total: 50/100
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A/N: Thanks SaMaNtHa for your honest review^^

Ok... well, people are entailed to their opinions..
i'll take them and work myself around it..

you guys know where to get your reviews!!
visit Fruity Society.. aiight?
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