Review from Kiwi Flight
Love Hurts [ One Shot ] **completed**Author: aying`
Reviewed by: Afhilangie
Title - 3/5 Sounds like a song to me. You should come up with a better idea because the readers usually scan through the titles and it doesn't seem really interesting at all.
Appearance - 4/5 The picture was nice. The color was dark and gloomy, fits the story well. What I really didn't like is the rectangular box. Brushings and featherings mostly complement the poster.
Forewords - 7/10 It was detailed well though the prologue didn't say much of it. Even the introduction of characters are too bland. You should include their personalities as well.
Storyline - 13/15 A typical storyline. The guy was in love with his fiance's best friend and was stuck with an arranged marriage. The twist about the guy leading others to his death was unexpected though. I was surprised to know that he's alive and went back to the one he truly loves.
Story Flow -15/15 The flow was a bit fast but I would consider it because it's a one shot story.
Character Development - 13/15 It seemed that the story was focused mainly on Yoo Chun and Aisha. I know it was a love triangle but Jessica got into the picture at the beginning only. You should add some traits and characteristics of her to spice up the love triangle she's involved with.
Descriptions - 7/10 No definite description about the place or anything in particular. You switched from places to places but the only thing that stuck on my mind was Aisha's place and her flying back to New York where they first met.
Correct spelling and grammar - 4/5 Quite a few mistakes but can be fixed easily.
Keeping Interest - 7/10 To tell you honestly, I don't like sad stories. Makes me depressed and annoyed at the same time, knowing that an author can do something about it and create a nice mood for the story to be enjoyable. Well, that's just my opinion. I know that all of your readers love the stories you created.
Ending - 3/5 *Jaw dropped* Yoo Chun came back in an instant without a single word? A big no, no for me! Not the ending I was expecting.
Bonus Points - 3/5 One point for requesting at Kiwi Flight. One point for Yoo Chun because he chose the one he loves. Another point for creating a happy ending.
Total - 79/100
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A/N: Thanks for your honest review afhilangie!
I still didn't expect to get a score like that.
If you want an awesome review, go get them @ http://kiwi-flight.blogspot.com/!
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