“Just break up with Kevin. Either that, or those photos get to the public eye.”

Her words resonated in my head. Break up with Kevin? I couldn’t. It was the one thing I could never do. But if I don’t…

… it might mean trouble for Kevin.

I couldn’t take it. Causing trouble for Kevin? Me? That’d not what a girlfriend was supposed to do.

Yet I’ve done nothing but bring trouble for him.

What do I do? What can I do? I couldn’t think of anything. That night was a sleepless night. I tossed and turned.

Should I tell Kevin? No, knowing him, he’ll probably not want the break up. But what else could I do? If I didn’t break up with him… if I didn’t break up with him…

I couldn’t think of what would happen.

Would Kevin be kicked out of U-Kiss? Will U-Kiss disband? How would the fandom respond? Questions asked, but left answered…

Over the course of the next week, I avoided Kevin. I couldn’t bring myself to speak to him. I stayed off Skype, afraid that he would video call me. I didn’t reply his tweets or direct messages on Twitter, afraid of what the anonymous person who called would do.

Afraid. I was afraid.

Afraid that Kevin would be harmed. Afraid that something bad would happen to U-Kiss.

Afraid because all that would be my fault.

As I checked Twitter, I scrolled through my direct messages and the tweets Kevin mentioned me in.

“How are you feeling today? Take care ok?”

“Why aren’t you replying me?”

“Are you ok?”

“I guess you must be busy…”

“Hey, I checked with your friend today, she said you’re fine.”

“Are you avoiding me?”

“Have I done something wrong?”

“Have you grown tired of me?”

“Did I not give you enough attention?”

“Please reply…”

“I miss you.”

It broke my heart. It really did. Reading all those messages, knowing that any reply I give would mean certain trouble.

One day, I received a call. It was the anonymous person again.

“What do you want?” I said bitterly.

“Nothing. How’s the break up plan?” she laughed into the phone.

I slammed down the phone on her.

Why? Why was she doing this? She said she loved Kevin. If she loved him, why was she doing this?

I couldn’t take it anymore. I broke down.

Tears started falling by themselves. Slowly at first, but it transformed into a waterfall. I choked out sobs, crying out Kevin’s name. I wanted him to be beside me. I couldn’t handle this alone.

I wanted to be back in his arms again. I missed him, just like how he said he missed me.

Soon, the tears dried up, the sobbing turned into hiccups, and I out.

When I woke up, it was probably around late evening. I glanced at the clock on my bedside table. 5.30p.m.

I dragged myself to the bathroom and splashed my face with cold water. That did the trick. I was slightly more awake.

I went back into my room and grabbed my iPhone. I dialed in the numbers I had memorized by heart.

Kevin’s number.

The dial tone rang on endlessly. Just as I was about to give up and put down the phone, he picked up.

“Ohmygoodness! You finally wanted to speak to me! What happened? Why-” a rush of words flooded out of Kevin’s mouth.

I interrupted him. “Kevin oppa.”

“Y-yes?”

“Let’s break up.”

I closed my eyes and threw my iPhone onto the soft mattress beside me. I finally did it. I really, officially, broke up with Kevin Woo.

I broke up with Kevin Woo.

I covered my face with my hands, as if trying to stop the next round of crying that was sure to come. Already I could feel a choking sensation at the back of my throat. Tears started to roll down my cheeks again as I thought of the conversation I just had with Kevin.

“Let’s break up.”

“But why? We were doing so well!”

“Just… let’s just be friends, ok?”

“Why? Did I do something to upset you?”

“No… no, it’s not you, it’s…”

“What is it? I’ll do whatever it takes, I promise!”

“N-nevermind, you go back to your schedule… I’ll just put down now. Bye.”

The more I thought about it, the more it felt right.

But how could it feel right? I loved him so much, I really did.

I dialed the number of the anonymous person.

“It’s you,” I could hear the smile in her voice.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“So… have you 2 broken up?”

“Yes. So don’t reveal to the public about our relationship. A deal’s a deal.”

“I got it yo. So now, enjoying your Kevin-less life.” The call ended.

I stared at the iPhone screen for a moment, as if waiting for a miracle to happen, as if waiting for a call, telling me that it was ok to be Kevin’s girlfriend again.

But no. Nothing. Nothing happened, and here I am, living a Kevin-less life, like the anonymous  person said. I was nothing without Kevin. A nobody.

Days passed. My friend was cautious not to talk about U-Kiss for fear I might be reminded of Kevin. When she asked about the reason for the break up, I merely brushed her off by saying, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

As I started growing accustomed to my Kevin-less life, I received a call from Dongho. Should I pick up? Perhaps not. But then again, the maknae of U-Kiss was adorable, and it would be a pity not to hear his voice.

I picked up the call. “Hey Dongho.”

“Hi~ I heard you broke up with Kevin hyung?”

Ouch. “Yeah, why?”

“Nothing. But when you get home today, check your letterbox ok? Tell your friend too.”

“Why?” I asked, but it was too late. The call ended.

I did as I was told, and checked the letterbox before heading into my house. I opened the letter addressed to me and got the shock of my life.

In my hands, I held an air ticket to Korea.

I hurriedly called my friend and told her to check her letterbox.

After putting down the phone, I stared at the air ticket. What do I do with it? Did U-Kiss really expect me to go to Korea and meet them after I just went through a break up with one of their members?

Sometimes, I really couldn’t figure out what they’re thinking.

“So… tell me why we are here again?” I raised an eyebrow at my friend questioningly.

“Well… the air tickets were free anyway…” my friend looked sheepishly at the ground.

We were in Korea. I wasn’t sure how I got here, but one thing was for sure.

I would have to meet Kevin.

How would he respond? Does he hate me now? The very thought of him hating me broke my heart. I wouldn’t be able to take it.

Suddenly, I felt a big hug come from behind. I turned around. “Dongho!”

I peered around Dongho’s shoulders and saw the other U-Kiss members. Dongho let go of me and went to say hi to my friend.

“Why did you want us here?” I asked Soohyun.

“Just follow us, c’mon~” he rushed us to an awaiting car, which drove us away from the airport, and to an unknown destination.

When the car finally stopped after a long time, I stepped out and realized we were at the NH Media company building.

Before I could ask what we were doing here, I was dragged into the office by AJ and Hoon.

We went up a few floors in the lift, walked along a long, white corridor, finally stopping in front of a mahogany door. Soohyun knocked on the door.

“Come in,” a solemn voice said from the other side of the door.

I gulped. Who was this person we were about to meet?

The door swung open on silent hinges and I let out a small gasp. It was the CEO of NH Media.

“N-nice to meet you!” my friend and I said at the same time. I couldn’t help but feel slightly nervous.

“What are you boys doing here? And who are those girls?” the CEO gave us questioning looks.

Eli started explaining, “These are fans we met on a tour. We’ve become friends with them. In fact, our friendship has lasted over a year now.”

Just then, Kevin spoke up. He grabbed my hand and said confidently, “Yes. In fact, this girl is not just any friend. She’s my lover.”