He panics for a moment, only recognizing the pastel-painted walls, the framed Monets, and the white covering his body. He’s accepted his fate of waking up here often, to the familiar but haunting walls of any one of the hospitals in the city. It unnerves him each time when he opens his eyes and no one is there to say good morning, no one is there holding his hand, no one is there to ask him how he’s feeling. He doesn’t mind finding out he’s in the hospital until he’s already there, because until he can remain conscious throughout the ambulance ride, he isn’t strong enough to cherish Kris’ overwhelming love for him, isn’t deserving of it in all its incapacitating beauty. But the fact that Kris is never there by his side when he wakes up…that hurts. Xiumin doesn’t know why he’s never around (and he wonders if it’s because Kris is apologetic and he regrets what he does, but he doesn’t need to be apologetic. Xiumin loves him regardless).

But the fact that Kris is once again nowhere in sight is not the problem, isn’t why he initially gripped by anxiety and fear. It take a moment for his mind to register the prominent weight of Minseok’s essence lingering there, and when the realization that his other half hasn’t left him just yet calms him, because even though he and Minseok don’t have the same friends-but-somewhat-enemies relationship anymore after the incident, Xiumin doesn’t know what he would do if he was suddenly alone in the world after sharing twenty years of his twenty-three year old life with him. As he sits there, staring straight ahead at the single Monet painting on the wall, he heaves a sigh of relief. Maybe back then, in the lobby of Lu Han’s apartment building, the emptiness in his head was just his imagination.

The door clicks open and he turns his head toward it, cracking a toothless smile at the nurse who walks in.

“Good evening, Xiumin. Didn’t think I would ever see you again but good ole’ gossip tells me this isn’t the first time you’ve been here since the first time we met.”

“Nice to see you again, Joonmyun,” Xiumin replies innocently, watching with enlarged eyes as Joonmyun, clad in pale blue scrubs, walks around to the side of the bed he’s sitting on.

“It’s never nice to have recurring patients, Xiumin, but at least this time you’re only here because of stress.” Joonmyun still has a smile on his face despite his words. He flips through the papers held together on his clipboard before passing them over to Xiumin. “In other words, I am here with your discharge papers. You know the drill.”

As Xiumin works through the paperwork mindlessly, Joonmyun clears his throat.

“Pardon the invasiveness, but I’m curious. Are you still seeing the man we talked about years ago?”

Xiumin nods. “Four years strong.”

“By any chance…has your relationship gotten any better? Any healthier?” Joonmyun prods, sighing when Xiumin ignores him in favor of looking over the forms. “You need to talk to someone if he’s still, uh, expressing his love for you in a manner that’s, uh, forceful.”

“Please stop insinuating things, Joonmyun. I really don’t want to have this conversation.”

“I looked at your records. You were here a couple of weeks ago for almost drowning. That was him, wasn’t it?”

Exhaling heavily, Xiumin straightens the sheets of paper in his hands and holds them out for the nurse to take. “Joonmyun, please.”

Joonmyun reluctantly takes the papers, sighing. “Fine, someone will be back to properly discharge you soon.”

It’s obvious there is so much more that Joonmyun wants to say on the topic of Xiumin and his boyfriend as he hesitates, shifting glances between the patient and the door. With a resolute shake of his head, he bids Xiumin goodbye. Xiumin misses the way his eyes flick toward the other side of the room before he walks out the door, too preoccupied with his fidgeting fingers.

Once the door shuts behind the bothersome nurse, Xiumin leans back against his elevated bed and closes his eyes. He hates that — the constant questioning. He knows Joonmyun is only trying to help but he doesn’t want help, he doesn’t need help. There’s nothing wrong with him and there’s nothing wrong with Kris. They’re like any other couple: they go on dates, they watch movies together, they hold hands, they live in the same apartment, sleep in the same bed. So Kris needs to work on his anger sometimes… That’s what Xiumin’s for as his boyfriend, isn’t it? To help him through his hard times, when life gets too stressful and he needs to vent, right? Like how Kris protected him when they were in high school, Xiumin is doing the same except instead of saving Kris from others, he’s saving him from himself. Xiumin’s doing what he’s supposed to. Joonmyun’s wrong. Minseok’s wrong. Baekhyun’s wrong. Everyone’s wrong. No one gets it. He doesn’t have time to take care of himself when Kris needs him the most.

 

He shakes his head. He doesn’t like thinking about it. Peeling his eyes open, he turns his head to the side and gasps when he meets another pair of eyes staring back at him. “How long have you been there?” he asks, feeling his heart rate speed up because he thought he was alone and he didn’t hear anyone else in here and Joonmyun didn’t say anything about another person or even censor his comments about Kris. Maybe he came in after Joonmyun left and Xiumin just didn’t notice. Yeah. That’s it.

“A while,” Lu Han says. Xiumin barely catches the downward tug of the Chinese man’s lips before he turns away from Xiumin to stare out the window.

“S-So y-you heard my conversation with the nurse?”

Lu Han grunts and nods.

Oh, no. “Lu H—”

“The thing about friendships is that they’re built off trust.”

Eyes wide with panic, Xiumin shakes his head and waves his hands even though the other isn’t looking at him. “You don’t understand! I—”

“—am a liar,” Lu Han finishes for him. His tone is calm but there’s an anger to his voice that makes Xiumin’s palms sweat with nerves. “I’m sure you had your reasons, but I’m not sure if they’re good enough to excuse why I had to find out Minseok isn’t your real name by hospital staff who recognize you as a regular patient. Or why I had to learn that you’re in a relationship with an abusive from a conversation I wasn’t supposed to hear.”

Xiumin bites his tongue to keep from retorting that Kris isn’t abusive. It’s not the right time. It would only make things worse. Not that there is a good way to confront this situation because it’s easy to see that Lu Han feels betrayed and Xiumin doesn’t know how much he can tell the truth without betraying Minseok or further ruining Minseok and Lu Han’s friendship. his bottom lip into his mouth, he chews on the lump of flesh, unsure of what to say.

“I know we don’t know everything about each other, it’s not like we’re best friends or anything, but those are some heavy topics to keep concealed.” Lu Han finally turns away from the window and Xiumin doesn’t know if he’s thankful the other is looking at him or if he’s more nervous.

“I’m telling you, you don’t understand!” Xiumin wails, his eyes beginning to water. This is too overwhelming. Why couldn’t Lu Han just ignore everything he heard?

“Explain.”

“It’s not that easy! What am I supposed to say? Yes, I’m not the person you think I am. It’s true but at the same time it’s not and no matter how I try to explain it, you’re going to think I’m lying to you. But I swear, Lu Han, the me that you know has never lied to you. He would never. His name is Minseok and he’s not dating. He’s not me but he is me and you have to trust that I’m explaining this to you in the best way I know how.”

The panicky feeling in Xiumin swirls restlessly and Lu Han stares at him blankly. His breath catches and a fat tear rolls down the side of his face when Lu Han chokes out an unamused scoff and, without even a word, raises from the chair beside the window and walks out of the room. Xiumin yells for him to wait as he scrambles to get off the bed. He doesn’t get very far when he notices he’s hooked up to a drip. Shifting his eyes between the IV and the door, he whines. Sitting back down, he hangs his head and runs his hands over his face.

“You’re free to go, Xiumin.” A student intern walks in with a smile.

Without looking at her, he nods. It doesn’t matter. He has no chance to catch up with Lu Han now.

 

 

Baekhyun shifts awkwardly from his heels to his toes, feeling uncomfortable in his favorite sweater as he stands outside Kyungsoo’s door, waiting for the professional slacker to open the door. He can hear Sehun’s voice clear in his head, berating him for inviting along a third wheel to what could possibly be classified as a dinner date (but Baekhyun, in all his stubborn glory, refuses to acknowledge tonight’s events as such even though he likes the sound of going out on a date with the annoying dancer). He groans because the longer he stands in the hallway, rocking back and forth and smiling stiffly to whoever walks by, the more he wants to run back upstairs to his room, hide beneath his blankets, and pretend he’s still living life as the one cliche loner art student on campus. The life with no Sehun, no Kyungsoo, no Lu Han, no anyone but himself and his art. When he thinks about it, he wishes he could return to that time; he was happy and didn’t have to deal with the stress of wanting to date some gangly freshman kid who threw mixed signals or the stupid illegal gun dealer Baekhyun still hasn’t forgiven for breaking his bust months ago. God, why is life so difficult? He shouldn’t even be having these problems. He’s not in high school anymore.

After knocking for a fourth time, it becomes apparent that Kyungsoo either isn’t home or he’s sleeping or ignoring everyone who drops by. Baekhyun’s stomach turns as if he’s riding a rollercoaster and he can’t tell if that’s a sign that he’s afraid of being alone with Sehun for the night or if he’s glad he doesn’t have to deal with the fight that would have likely broken out between the two now that Kyungsoo isn’t around. Walking toward the stairs, tries to forget about everything.

Lu Han called earlier, something about Minseok fainting. Baekhyun hopes he’s okay. He hopes Lu Han’s okay too. The poor guy sounded panicked on the phone and Baekhyun knows how Lu Han likes to overreact. He probably thought Minseok had some terminal illness and was taking his last breath or something. Baekhyun laughs at that. It’s so obvious Lu Han’s in love. He doesn’t worry over any one else as much as he worries over Minseok. It’s cute, really. Baekhyun wishes someone would care for him as much as Lu Han cares for the cute actor. It’s a surprise they’re not together yet, he thinks. But then he remembers that there’s that tall guy Minseok’s dating or was dating. Baekhyun really hopes Minseok has succeeding in breaking things off with him. Such a relationship really isn’t healthy. Minseok and Jongdae know each other. Kind of. Maybe he should talk to Jongdae about if he knows about their relationship.

The weather is nice when he pushes open the exit of the building and walks out onto the city streets. He walks up the street until he notices a cab he can flag down. Sehun sent him the address to the restaurant in a text but Baekhyun’s never heard of the place and, to be honest, still isn’t familiar with a lot of the upscale places on that side of town. The cab driver seems to know where he’s going after Baekhyun reads off the address. It doesn’t take nearly long enough to arrive at the location of the restaurant and by the time Baekhyun’s paying the driver and crawling out of the vehicle, his nerves are back. He doesn’t look at the building because Sehun’s there, leaning up against the exterior wall, his phone in his hands as usual, and he looks amazing: his blond hair is gelled and slicked back but there’s one deviant strand that curls over his forehead, his white button-up fits perfectly (as do his jet black skinnies), and he’s wearing a tie. As he approaches the younger man, Baekhyun wants nothing more than to curl his fingers around the black tie, yank, and bring their lips together.

Instead, he punches Sehun in the arm. “What the ? You didn’t tell me I had to look nice. Now I look underdressed.”

Sehun snorts and slips his phone into his pocket. “I’m only dressed like this because I had something to do earlier.” He looks Baekhyun up and down. “You look fine.”

“I look like a homeless person next to you, that’s what I look like,” Baekhyun grumbles as he follows Sehun into the restaurant that looks surprisingly nice and not some super fancy 5-star place.

Sehun tells the greeter that he has a reservation under the name Oh for two. They follow the greeter over to a table in the back of the restaurant. The greeter informs them that a waiter will be right over to take their order and Baekhyun smiles as the man walks off.

His smile drops as soon as he opens the menu. He flips through it, scanning through the entrees, hoping he’ll find something that doesn’t cost both his legs and one of his cheeks. This place doesn't look expensive, but Baekhyun should know that looks are decieving.

“I swear my rent is cheaper than the food they make here,” he says, glancing at Sehun in confusion because this is not a restaurant where at two college students eat.

Sehun chuckles and reaches over, flipping the pages of Baekhyun’s menu until he finds the one he’s looking for. “I suggest picking something from here. All of the dishes on this page are really good. Some of the stuff they serve tastes like horse .”

“Because you would know what that tastes like, you freak,” Baekhyun snips, unable to resist. “But seriously, I can’t afford any of this.”

“Did I say you were paying?”

“Sehun, you’re not —”

“Are you ready to order?” Someone asks over Baekhyun’s shoulder.

Baekhyun flinches. He did not notice the waiter walk up to their table.

“Yes, we are.” Sehun smiles politely as he closes his menu, rambling off names of dishes before he hands his and Baekhyun’s menus to the waiter.

It takes Baekhyun a full five seconds to realize he didn’t order anything and by then, it’s too late. He glares at the boy across from him.

Sehun rolls his eyes. “You’ll like what I ordered for you, don’t worry. And because I ordered it, I’m paying for it.”

“I hate you.”

Bringing his glass of water to his lips, Sehun snorts. “I’m sure you do. Bet that’s why you were avoiding me.”

Baekhyun groans internally because yes, he did avoid Sehun for a short period of time, but he’s not going to admit it, so Sehun should just get over it. He should be happy Baekhyun’s even here to eat dinner with him in the first place. If he wasn’t both stupidly attracted to Sehun and afraid that the kid would have found him and dragged him here if he didn’t show up, Baekhyun wouldn’t even be here right now. This has to be one of the most awkward things he’s ever done in his life. He’s never left alone with Sehun. At least, not for long. Usually Lu Han joins them after a while but Lu Han’s not coming; he’s watching over Minseok. (He wasn’t invited anyway). And while Baekhyun and Yixing aren’t exactly close, anything would have been more bearable than sitting here alone with Sehun, in some fancy restaurant Baekhyun will never be able to afford in his life.

He swallows dryly and reaches for his own glass of water. Sehun’s hand falls over his wrist before his fingers even brush the glass.

“Tell me why. That’s all you have to do and I won’t bring it up again,” Sehun says.

Baekhyun’s first instinct is to be, for the most part, honest. “I didn’t want to be around you. Is that a crime?” Rudely honest.

“No,” Sehun removes his hand, “it’s not. You should have told me. I would have left you alone. I’m not a complete .”

“For some reason, I have problems believing that,” Baekhyun scoffs. He slides his glass toward him and guzzles down a quarter of the room temperature water. “You’re a stalker.”

“False. I am not,” the dancer states, narrowing his eyes.

The waiter from earlier returns with their food and sets the dishes in the middle of the table. Both boys smile at the suited gentleman who tells them to call for him if they need anything as he walks off to serve another table.

Grabbing the fork laid out for him on a prettily folded napkin, Baekhyun stabs one of the slices of cucumber in the small bowl of salad in front of him. “You follow me around everywhere on campus.”

Sehun bypasses the salad in favor of his plate of eggplant parmigiana. “Our classes are in the same general area.”

“So are Lu Han and Yixing’s.”

“They’re in class when I’m free.” He lifts a finger when Baekhyun opens his mouth. “And before you talk about your studio time, you don’t actually get any work done. If anything, you get more work done when I’m there because you do everything you can to ignore me. Sounds like you should be thanking me, Banana Milk.”

“Screw you.”

“I know I’m irresistible but, please, can we wait until after dinner? It wouldn’t be very polite if I took you over the table right here, now would it?”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, knowing that any kind of verbal response would fuel Sehun’s ertedness.

They eat in silence, just the sounds of silverware chiming against the stoneware dishes and the light chatter of the tables around them filling the empty space between them. In the quiet, Baekhyun drifts off into his thoughts again. What is the point of this? They could go to any fast food place to eat and have the same exact conversation without Baekhyun feeling poor and out of place. If Sehun is trying to make a statement by dragging him out to this fancy restaurant, Baekhyun has no clue what he’s trying to say.

Glancing up at the younger boy who is eating as if everything is perfectly fine, Baekhyun glowers. He wishes Sehun wasn’t so confusing about his feelings toward him. Sometimes he feels like there’s a mutual interest between them, and other times he feels like Sehun is playing around and using him to get rid of his boredom. Why can’t he be more like Lu Han and wear his emotions on his sleeve? (But then Baekhyun imagines Sehun being overdramatic and loud and stupid like Lu Han and he realizes he’s glad Sehun’s not like that because if there were two Lu Han’s, Baekhyun would have to kill himself). He sighs. Even if nothing changes between them after this…date (?), at least he gets to eat expensive food for free.

He barely ate the main pasta dish Sehun ordered for him, having filled himself with salad and two glasses of water. He feels bad for wasting the food Sehun’s paying for but the younger boy shakes his head and tells him it’s okay, he didn’t expect Baekhyun to eat all of it. Baekhyun starts to ask what he means by that but the waiter stops by, dropping off their check.

Sehun snatches it before Baekhyun gets a chance to look at how much money they’ve wasted on overpriced noodles and salad. He digs his wallet out of his pocket. “Hey, Baekhyun,” he mumbles as he opens it and searches for the correct credit card.

“Y-Yeah?” the artist stutters out a whisper, surprised at being address so suddenly and by his actual name no less.

Sehun pulls out the right card and slides it into the little black book holding the check. He props his elbows on the table and rests his chin on folded hands.

“Go out with me.”

 

What am I even doing with this story? You'd think that since I have an outline, it'd make sense but NOPE. Total nonsense all the time.

Anyway, Sehun asked Baekhyun out! But you all were expecting Baek to crack first. And, uh, Lu Han is slowly finding out about Xiumin and Minseok's secret.

It's been like 2 months since I've updated but between school and work, I never feel like writing anymore ugh. I tried to make this chapter sound good. I really did.

As always, thank you for all the comments and the upvotes and the ~love~

(づ￣ ³￣)づ