~TI~

I’m not the guy who

Believes in destinies and fate

But I wish I said the right things

At the right time

I say foolish things in front of the camera.

Somehow its very presence makes me stupid.

Just like what happened earlier this day.

Minzy and Daesung were having their own presentation in a show when my gentlemanly ways were mentioned. And then her name was called to testify.

“He really has that tendency to become like a prince or whatever. He does these things which make him really sweet. There was this show where I was interviewed and asked to pick my ideal between him and TOP, and I said that rather than an ideal, I wanted to have a boyfriend like him because of what he did back in the ski resort.”

I smiled as I remember Seunghyun-hyung, more popularly called as TOP, looking so disgruntled when he heard her say that. I looked at his face on the monitor in front of me and saw the same expression he had back then.

I turned to the monitor where her face was shown and beamed. She was very animated as she said, “Now he teases me about it—that I should have told him that personally instead.”

Now the whole attention was placed on me and everyone was expecting me to say something about it.

Giving hugs, I almost do that to everybody, so I guess nothing was really special about it. It was like an impulse. Maybe she was right. I am flirty.

But with her, it’s different.

Every little thing I did for her was different. I did things for her that I never did for any girl, or for anyone.

I wanted to tell that to her, but instead, words I don’t even mean came out.

“It’s a habit.”

I watched how she tried to hide the change in her facial expression. But I already know her for too long to know what she’s feeling.

It was the same when I said back then that I don’t date someone within the company. I didn’t mean any of it, but her smile faded.

Seunghyun-hyun glanced at my direction and he looked at me the same way he did back then. It was as if he was saying, “You hurt her again.”

I’m an idiot.

I say foolish things in front of the camera.

I wish I could be myself.

No pretenses.

But being my self could hurt others.

So I choose to hurt her instead.