You were sitting right beside Soohyun like always while watching TV. While watching the show, you tried to laugh normally, but because something felt off you couldn’t really enjoy what was going on at the screen. Soohyun didn’t seem to watch the show properly, because he hardly ever said something and he also didn’t put his arm around you, like he used to. Normally he would enjoy being close to you when you visited him, because it wasn’t possible outside. So today, you felt there was something wrong. And when the screen suddenly turned black and Soohyun made you look at him, you already knew there would be bad news soon. You just didn’t think it would be that bad.

„Nuna, I really love you.“, he said and for a moment, your heart skipped a beat because you were so happy. For a tiny second, you even thought he might have prepared a proposal. But seeing his sad eyes, you knew there had to follow something bad after that sentence and so you just held your breath.

„Let’s break up.“, he said while looking away. You took some time to realize what he was saying. „H-hey…“, you said softly, „Soohyun, look at me. What are you talking about?“

Soohyun looked at you and you could practically see how much pain these words gave him.

„This week, how much hate-mail did you recieve?“, he asked out of the blue, so that you couldn’t stop yourself from answering honestly. „Including the strange fish head that was in front of my door there were fiftyseven.“

„And how many times did someone spit at you on the street?“

You looked at him and shook your head. „No, Soohyun. That’s not the problem again, right? I’m fine with that! They will disappear soon. See, this week there were only two girls who spit at me. It’s decreasing from the original fifteen times at the time we started dating two years ago. Your precious Kiss Mes will accept me soon, I’m sure. They will see how happy you are and-“

„No, they won’t. I can’t be happy as long as they give you a hard time and with that, they won’t see me happy and won’t stop harassing you. And seeing how you won’t be happy forever when you’re with me, I’d rather let you go.“

You reached out to Soohyuns forehead to see if he had a fever, but you had to realize that this was what he really felt.

„Oh, Soohyun. Please tell me that this isn’t true.“, you said and felt how you started to tear up. It was hard to keep it back and you hadn’t even finished your sentence, when you already felt one of your tears fall down.

„I’m really fine, despite all the problems with your fans. I like you too much to pay attention to those little problems. Don’t tell me you won’t see me again. Please.“

Like a reflex you took his hands and held them tightly, as if it would stop him from leaving you, but instead he felt even further away. He already made up his mind. It was impossible to change his decision. You let go of his hands and gave in to the sad feeling that rolled over you. You cried your hurt out, right in front of him and even though his eyes teared up as well and he had to swallow more often, he didn’t really cry while you sat there. He just silently patted your shoulder and gave you support.

After a few minutes you could finally stop crying for some time and nodded. You knew you had to give up.

„Does that mean… You’ll never have a woman in your life again?“, you said, having to gulp down the tears again.

Soohyun looked at you in surprise. „I-I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone as much as…as much as I love you. Right now isn’t the time for me to get into such a serious relationship. I… I-I’m too young and I still have to realize so many dreams with my fellow members and our fans. I can’t betray them. But I also can’t… I just can’t make you wait for me and suffer all the time. So I’m letting you go. I have to let you go. Even if that means… Even if that means that I’ll be… I’ll be alone until the day I die, because you… you’ll move on and marry someone else. While I’m busy realizing my dream.“

While he said that, he finally had to cry himself. He gave you a warm hug and whispered: „I’ll miss you.“

You hugged him tightly for the last time, before you stood up and went to the door. Before he closed it behind you, you turned around and looked at him.

„I’ll wait for you.“, you said with a warm smile on your lips. You could still see how hurt Soohyun looked while he closed the door. Inside he leaned against the door and slowly slipped down on the floor where he started to cry helplessly.