Cup Five – I still love it

Suddenly, someone was sitting in your seat. Since you started university, you always sat there. But today when you walked in, there was some guy sitting there. An Asian guy with very short hair, listening to music and reading a book. You were already in a bad mood, so you just threw your bag on his table and were glaring at him. Relaxed but a bit surprised he looked up and slowly pulled out one earphone. Without saying anything, he looked at you with an expression that practically said: ‚What?‘ You tried it the nice way and made a gesture that should signal him, that this was your place and he should back off. But he just smiled at you, slipped a bit to the side and started to read again. You were too surprised by his actions, so you had didn’t know what he was thinking of. But soon you realized, he just wanted you to sit down right next to him, sharing the table!

„Hey, get lost. That’s my table.“, you said. But he didn’t even look up from his book and just pointed at the space he just made free. After a while he added: „I moved for you to sit here.“

You wanted to say something, but in the end the professor arrived and you hurriedly sat down next to him. Little did you know what this was the beginning of.

The next four weeks were full of meetings with him. Jaesop was his name, a Korean guy who just started his university life.  During some of the classes you got to know that he seemed to be a singer and songwriter in Korea. You started to seriously like him as a friend and during one of the nights you spent thinking of him, you started to google him. But what you saw blew your mind. He didn’t seem like just some tiny singer over there. He was famous. So famous, that he even had some fans overseas, how you saw a few days later. You didn’t talk to him about his fame or anything, but just spent your time with him like usual, until you ended up asking him out for dinner and to the movies. He agreed, but your day wasn’t all that great. After the cinema – which wasn’t bad, since you both enjoyed the movie you watched – you decided to go and eat something. But while walking down the street and looking for a good restaurant, he got stopped all the time, giving out autographs and taking pictures, talking to various people… You smiled while he did all that, but inside you felt bad. He was here with you, but all those girls didn’t care about you and grabbed his attention instantly. Soon they disappeared and you finally sat down to eat somewhere.

“It feels strange, right?”, he said.

You simply nodded and looked at your menu. Suddenly you felt someone sit down next to you on the bench. Jaesop smiled at you brightly. “Is it okay if I sit next to you? I wanted to be closer…”

You blushed, didn’t give an answer and just tried to decide on what to eat. “Hey… Don’t ignore me.”
He grabbed your chin to make you look at him. It felt strange and you were ticklish so you giggled a bit. “I love it, when you smile…”, whispered Jaesop just a moment before he kissed you…

Dealing with all the fangirls approaching him was only hard when you went around in town, so at university, you were happy and all lovey-dovey. But soon, he opened up about something. “You know, I told you I’m a singer in Korea?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Uhm… Soon, the semester will be over. And I need to go back and take over my duty as a member of U-KISS…”

Cup Five: I still love it.

You didn’t say anything. It was too hard. That job was just too stupid. You didn’t like it at all, you had wished he would stay at your university and just study until he finished. But it looked like he had different plans…

“You know, there once was a time, when I actually thought about stopping activities.”

A tiny ray of hope blinked in front of you, but the next second it was already destroyed by the thunder, that came up…

“But you know, I actually love my job. I still love it too much to meet my fans, talk to them. I love singing and dancing. And I love my members.”

“You’re talking about “love, love, love” the whole time. Then what about me? You don’t love me?”

Hearing him talk about his life in a country you didn’t know about made you angry. Even the sadness you felt from him leaving turned into anger. You could only stare at him. But he stayed silent. Why? He couldn’t say ‘I love you’?

“Oh fine then! Don’t love me!”

“No, don’t misunderstand. I’m happy with you, but to know if it’s love… I can’t tell you that I love you more than my job. I thought I would. I thought I loved you and my studies more than what I had there. But thinking about it again, I still love it. Being an idol is great, and I can only do it now, since I won’t stay young forever. And in the future as well! I want to work in the music industry and make all my dreams come true. But what I really wanted to ask is-“

“It’s okay, don’t tell me anymore. I don’t need to hear it.”

You brushed off Jaesops hand that your arm gently the whole time you were talking.

“You need to go back? Fine, I’m happy! Get lost!”

Trying to hold back your tears, you stormed away and never saw him again. Only once in a while, you dared to go online and look him up, to see if he was still happy and as charming as back then…