Cup Four: Originally, it wasn’t you.

“Originally, it wasn’t you anyway.” you said loudly, staring into Hoons eyes that suddenly widened when he realized what you said. His hair was wet and water dripped all over his face. The weather just needed to be that way at that moment. It had to make this embarrassing moment even stranger, by letting it rain hard. You felt like you were in a drama. In a bad one.

A few weeks ago, you felt like the luckiest person on this earth. For five years, you worked very hard at university to study Korean and in the end you managed to get into your favorite TV-Station to work close to the idols you have been following as a fan. People might’ve called you crazy. But it wasn’t like you did it to get closer to those people and to marry one of the boys. Well, in the end, you met your favorite group. You even ended up being friends with Hoon, even though he was your least favorite member. But he was nice, and through him you got to see Kevin more often. It wasn’t using him, was it? Since you still enjoyed spending time with him as a friend.

“Hey, do you want to come to our concert? I could get you special VIP seats.” Hoon said to you one day, while you prepared for the recording of U-KISS’ live stage. You smiled at him and even though you wanted to decline, in that moment Kevin jumped on Hoon from behind and greeted you with a kind smile. “Hoon, what are you up to again?” Kevin asked and stood next to you, only having eyes for his band member. “I was only inviting Nuna to come to our concert. You know, premium seats.”

Kevins eyes widened and he looked at you and patted your shoulder.  “You have to come!” he said, only before Eli called for him and he left again. You looked at Hoon and smiled brightly. “Okay, there’s no way I could decline if Kevin asks me to come, right?” You laughed out loud and waved Hoon good-bye. It was rehearsal time. During their rehearsal you could think about your situation. You liked Kevin, but Hoon seemed at least a little bit interested in you. What if he really ended up asking you out? You didn’t want to talk with Hoon about something like that. After all, he was the member you liked least in U-KISS! You’d rather be asked out by Kevin. But since Hoon was your only way of getting closer, you kept up the friendship and you two got closer for a whole six months. In the end, he even managed to rank higher in your bias list, but the problem was you only could see him as a lovely friend. There was no between you and your heart was with Kevin. Or so you thought.

You finally had managed to confess your feelings to Kevin and got dumped. It was Kevin, so he did it in a very nice way, but you still felt angry and useless. Years of learning Korean were useless. Months of getting closer to him and falling asleep while thinking of him, only because he gave you a smile, felt like a lie. It was so depressing. And just at that moment Hoon had to ask you to meet him at the café. Of course you went. He was after all your lovely friend and maybe he could help you up again. But instead, he made you feel even worse.

“Nuna, are you okay?” he asked worriedly, but you just nodded. He didn’t have to know about your sadness. In the end, he made you feel so much better and your hurt heart got healed by his love for you. During a nice lunch, he suddenly started to smile very happy and turned off his funny mode. “Nuna, you know it already, right?” he said and looked at you with sparkling eyes. Your heart skipped a beat and you smiled. “What? That you like me? Don’t worry, I love you as well.” you said and he looked at you confused. “N-no… That… I…” He looked lost for a second, not knowing what to do. You realized what you just did and since he seemed like he couldn’t respond to your feelings, you were embarrassed and ran out of the restaurant. You ran to the next subway station, but he caught you. “Wait, at least tell me your feelings and let me tell you what I feel! Isn’t that the right way?”

“What right way are you talking about, Hoon? I know you don’t like me, even though you treated me so well and gave me special attention! So where is that right way you are talking about?” you said, close to tears. Suddenly it started to rain really hard, and within seconds you two were soaking wet, staring at each other.

“I just wanted to tell you my good news. I didn’t know you felt this way for me, how would I, when you never really told me? I thought we were friends.”

“Originally, it wasn’t you anyway!” you practically screamed at him. “I always liked Kevin better. Sad thing I got dumped, what could I do if not take you instead of him. You were so nice to me, so I ended up confessing to someone I thought would be easy. But you weren’t, okay. Now go away!”

You pushed him away and ran towards the subway, crying very hard already. It wasn’t true. You liked Hoon even more than Kevin. But without listening to him, you thought you were dumped and misunderstood him. In truth he just didn’t find the right words to tell you his feelings. And they lived misunderstanding each other until ever after…