Is that the Hwang Chara he talks ever so softly on the phone? Is that the girl that won Jongin’s secretly distant heart? I am more than sure that we’ve met before.

Slowly, Jongin approached me, a small smile covering the big guilt in his face. I don’t know how I look like, most probably just as baffled as he is. My eyes moved from Jongin’s being to Hwang Chara across the street. I have to talk to her.

“You bought that for the others? How cute.” He started, trying some ice—no, glacier breaking. “The chocolate mint is nice, I tried. Want me to carry that for you?”

My technical hyung Jongin would never, ever, give a person that favor. The sudden change of attitude stole my voice even more.

It was easy for him to take the box from me. “I’ll buy you milk tea, just go back to the hyungs,” I croaked. The plastic bag crunched along with his movements. He patted me on the shoulder and started his way back, then I ran as fast as I could, as if it was cue for me to sprint for Hwang Chara. I could not care less if my thudding footsteps made Jongin see me trying to catch her.

I ran across the street and brushed shoulders with tens of people before reaching Hwang Chara. She stopped and turned from hearing an exhausted man behind her. I was trying to catch my breath when she was looking at me, trying to recognize my face.

“You’re the trainee guy from school right? Jongin oppa’s friend?”

Jongin. Oppa.

She reached out her hand to me. “I’m Hwang Chara from Contemporary class.”

“I—I’m Oh Sehun from the Theatre class.” I shook her hand. “So you dance too.”

“Sort of,” she smiled warmly, far from figuring what’s going on. “Don’t you recognize me? My class always uses the hall after yours, we always meet every so often!”

“I do, I do. I just don’t know your name,” I gave a smile, probably rather rigid. “You want to… have some bubble tea?”

“I just had some sweets though, but that would be nice.”

We turned around and started our way to the tea shop.

“I didn’t know that you were with Jongin,” I stated my curiosity. “I even know things like Monggu’s cousin’s pregnancy but I don’t know that Jongin has a girlfriend!”

I opened the door for us. “He didn’t tell you?!” She asked.

“No one in the group knows. Even me.”

We ordered our drinks and came silent. I looked at her, wondering what qualities could have captured Jongin’s heart. Her warmth though, her inevitable warmth. I couldn’t just change my cold self overnight, let alone seeing a chance of being above Hwang Chara. My defeated heart could only tell me to stop and face the truth, but part of me still wanted to fight.

The cashier brought me back by giving us our tea.

“I’ll be going, ok?” she said, lifting her glass of tea. ”See you soon, Sehun. Good luck with your group.” She waved goodbye then we parted ways. I took heavy steps back to the company, to the sky room the hyungs usually use.

I passed by Onew Hyung at the hallway. “Hello,” I bowed, nearly straight-angled.

“Hey Sehun. I just saw Jonginnie with a box of Anabel’s new donuts. Why don’t you get some, they’re upstairs,” he said cheerfully. He’s a lovely guy, really.

“Ah, okay.” I nodded, not wanting to spoil the fun. “I’ll go upstairs,” I bowed and went.

I opened the sky room door to see Chanyeol hyung having his last bite, Kyungsoo hyung scrambling trying to find wet tissue, Jongin nibbling the icing on his fingers, and Joonmyun hyung guarding the box for the rest. There were still one, two three… eight left.

“Thanks Sehun-ah. Didn’t expect the treat coming from you,” Chanyeol hyung initiated, then the rest said their thank you too.

“Here, have one,” Joonmyun hyung patted a spot beside him. “Did you buy a dozen for us only, or for M as well? I can take these for them, they’re next door.”

“I’ll do it then.” I smiled to hyung while crouching, then I took the box with me and went to the sky room next door.

“Excuse me,” I opened the door. Thank goodness the song had just ended. “Hyungie, I brought some donuts,” I smiled, saying rather softly compared to the song that was just repeating.

“Donuts!” everyone exclaimed.

“Chillax guys. One each, one each.” Kris hyung spoke sternly, standing behind while everyone was around the box. He walked to the raido to stop the song. “Where’d you get this, Sehun? You don’t usually treat the guys.”

“They have a new donut brand at Anabel’s, Hyung. I just felt like buying for you guys,” I scratched my head to cover shyness. Kris hyung and I went to the box to take our donuts.

“Whose are these?” Minseok hyung pointed, puffy face puffier with puffy mouth.

“Baekhyun hyung… um… Luhan hyung…”

“Luhan, Baekhyun, Tao and Chen,” Kris hyung completed my count.

“Aw, that’s too bad that Tao hyung’s not here,” I regretted. I stood up. ”I’ll be next door ok? Can I bring the one for Baekhyun hyung?”

“Mh, here,” Kris hyung mumbled, standing to go take an empty snackbox from his bag. “Just put it here and give it to me later,” he smiled.

“Thanks hyung!” I smiled, and put an almond donut inside for Baekhyun hyung. I said louder, addressing to everyone, “Bye hyung, work hard!” I bowed to everyone and left the room.

Outside, a janitor came to me with another lunchbox.

“Hand this to Kim Jongin, please,” he said. I nodded and then he went back downstairs. I loked at the lunchbox, the tiny characters ‘HCR’ at the side had given me enough of a clue.

When I got inside, they were practicing. I put the lunchbox beside my bag and scurried to fill in my spot and join the dance from halfway through.

The radio went on repeat, and we hurriedly went to our starting position to do the routine again.

We came back home at almost the same time as yesterday, but this time, almost everyone decided to go straight to sleep.

After making sure that Joonmyun hyung wouldn’t hear me, I climbed down the bunkbed and went outside. The insomniac Jongin was there watching TV on his own.

I took a bag of chips out of the cupboard and sat beside him. “I didn’t know that I know your girlfriend,” I started, munching on the chips. I only could talk with Jongin on top secret stuff at times like this. At midnight, watching TV in the living room.

He snorted. “That was a bit of oblivious.”

“That was a bit of too secretive.” I talked back.

“Did Hwang Chara get her grades from you? She’s one of the best in Contemporary, right?” I asked again, with such a casual tone I couldn’t even believe.

“She’s talented to begin with,” Jongin smiled, head down. “But she seeks me a lot before an exam, or when having a hard time with a project.”

Maybe I should have not enrolled for theatre in the first place.

“She’s pretty.” I offered the chips to Jongin. “She really is.”

Jongin laughed, picking the chips and munching. “You won’t be able to get her.”

You mean I won’t be able to get you.

Part of me just grew bigger and ever more resistant, hoping to be able to find a crack between their molded hearts. I was there hating myself for being the coward I always am. I should have come up to Jongin with my words a long time ago, way before we both came to know Hwang Chara.

I looked at him, his eyes fixed to the screen.

What have made me fall for you, Kim Jongin?

There was an uneasiness, a rather suffocating feeling filling my heart. I grew mute, not quite knowing what to do with it.

“Sehun.” He called me.

“Do you…” Jongin started carefully, making me look up to him, “by any chance…”

“Like Hwang Chara?”