“You stupid! You came to school for that?!”

Jongin tried his best to keep his volume down, aware that he might even wake up people way in the company building. It was another insomniac night in the living room.

“You have to get back to her,” I said.

He sighed, flicking on the remote control. “Just… not now, Sehun. Can’t you see?” he turned to see me. “We just need some time alone,”

“She loves you,” I said, as a matter of fact.

Jongin sighed, and continued watching TV.

No, we went back to our rooms this time to avoid any more possibly controversial photos.

Our days recording music shows didn’t leave any feel on me. I was only there for the sake of getting it done.

Jongin did things better. Staring at the camera, smiling and winking at fangirls, stealing the limelight…

Even limelight tastes sour to me.

My post-confession friendship with Jongin was healing quickly, along with the randomly multiplying skinship. On one of those insomniac nights in the living room, I asked him, “Have you talked to Chara now?”

“A bit,” he answered. “I went to school when you guys were practicing.”

“What did she say?”

“Nothing,” he sighed. “Nothing.” He turned off the TV suddenly, making me so conscious of the silence of the night. “I told her that it was not your fault. That it was no one’s fault. That… that it actually had nothing to do with us,” he stared at me.

And…? I stared, waiting for a continuation.

“She stared at me and left me just like that.”

But…

“Come on, let’s go to sleep,” Jongin stood up and lent a hand. I stood up and got to my room door.

“Good night,” I said.

“Night,” Jongin smiled thin.

We woke up to the smell of spaghetti and had our breakfast. We were scheduled to have yet another photoshoot for today. We got ready, got into the van, then it rolled on to the streets and we started our journey getting there.

Baekhyun hyung was not as jumpy as he was yesterday, because today, it was a shoot for an interview. But, still being the Byun Baekhyun he is, he started reciting things and asking us whether he should give this fact or that fact. And then he started doing his wagawagawaa again.

It was a pretty far way compared to the studio where we had our first advertisement, but then, as we got off the van, Jongin and I realized that the place was close to our school. The buildings, the shops, the shacks were nostalgic. We would always go there when we were still attending school.

Jongin and I made a silent agreement to eat there after the shoot was done.

We were introduced to the people in charge for today and we were sat at a round table for the interview before they really take pictures of us.

After loads and papers of basic questions we were always asked of for one whole month, the interview ended and we were allowed to change and redo our makeup for the shoot.

“Jongin,” I called, looking to his face. He was sitting beside me on the row of chairs. This studio did not have couches so they put cushioned chairs in a row instead. He turned to the call.

“You should get back to Chara, really,” I said.

He looked down and sighed, playing with his thumbs. He looked back to me.

“You’re tough enough to say that.”

I laughed at Jongin’s joke. “I’m not tough. I’m just… well, trying to help.”

Jongin smirked at me. “We’re both pretty masochistic if you still like me then.”

Again, I laughed to the joke. “No, you told me it had nothing to do with me, and that’s that.” We fell silent, our faces already done while the hyungs were still taking long.

“I’m sorry for messing things up,” I whispered. “I was told that telling my feelings would prevent me from regret, but now the thing I regret the most is confessing to you.”

“This was a problem way before that night on our TV debut, Sehun,” Jongin turned his face to me. “She’s seen you, or maybe us, numerous times, but you never really paid attention.”

Jongin gave a stale laugh. He tried to pat my hairspray-frozen hair and looked into my eyes silently, conveying abstract, voiceless words.

When the shoot was done, Jongin and I asked the makeup artist to clean us first. Seungwon hyung had allowed us to go around the neighborhood buying stuff. We were so happy we jumped out of the makeup table with clips still sticking in our hair.

When we got outside, we were wondering what place we should go first. We decided to go to the frozen yogurt shop.

We entered the shop, which did not change much except for the decorations they always roll weekly. This week, the theme was Hello Kitty. It was crowded with students having just finished school, and the line was slightly longer. We were among the rare adults waiting in line. Now these green flu masks come in handy.

Jongin was, again, busy fidgeting with his cellphone when I turned back and locked eyes with a person I felt like I know.

Hwang Chara, who was mixing her bubble drink, walked in with her friends. She lifted her gaze and met my familiar eyes.

Her eyes widened at the realization and excused herself from her little group of friends.

Hwang Chara looked down to hide her face and started her way outside the café.