The beaming sunlight sipping trough the line of wines by the window, awake the stark figure lying at the now crumpled sheets filled with remnants of sweat and the scent of from last night.

He wasn’t surprised when he woke up finding the other side of the bed empty.

A smile still finds its way his face as flashes of memories from last night came crawling into his mind. He was already happy, having a piece of heaven before he has to enter the gates of hell.

Just like what they say, having the best meal of your life before you die.

But if this really is the death of Lee Sungmin, then he’s now ready to accept it.

*

Kyuhyun lifelessly sits on a chair, as he waits for the makeup noona to finish applying whatever cosmetics on his face, which he have always taught wasn’t necessary.

But he doesn’t have any choice but to obey and let it, along with the hundred other things he has to up with, since he chose to become an idol.

So he lets the skilled hands of various people, cover up his face, just like what the company had always did, covering up the real him, and only showing the people what the company thinks was rightful to be shown, even if it meant masking the real him.

*

He neatly folded the last of his pink shirts before zipping the elegant suitcase that his fans had gave to him his last birthday.

Then he glanced at the whole room as he fight the urge to cry as his heart crumples in pain, then on, already missing the place that he had accustomed as home for years.

*

The other glanced at his reflection on the mirror as the makeup noona applied the last layer that would cover the real him. He gulps the lone tear that has been wanting to escape trough his now perfectly masked face.

*

They both heaved a big sigh, then slowly stood up as they started walking towards the door, both their steps seems so heavy, mirroring the pain in their hearts that know they would be leaving something behind, once they reached that door.

So they mustered all the confidence they could hold, as they turn the knob, both not wanting to look back afraid that they’ll just run back.

So they closed the door, and continue walking, heading to different roads and different paths, but taking that thing that had always kept them alive, carefully placed in the depths of their hearts.

*

“Oppa is going to marry me someday!”

“In your dreams! It would be me Oppa’s going to marry!”

“No, me!”

“Me!”

The little girls started fighting, getting the attention of their teacher.

“Girls! Stop that! What have I told the two of you about fighting with each other?!”

The kids suddenly bowed down as they saw the anger in their teacher’s eyes.

“That it’s wrong and we shouldn’t fight and we should love each other.” The kids carefully murmured.

“Good.” The older guy smiled as he looks at the adorable kids. “So now, what you should do?”

“Sorry,”

“Sorry.”

The two kids murmured as they both hugged each other and started smiling as if nothing just happened.

“What are you guys fighting over anyways?” The teacher asked.

“Him, I would be the one he’ll marry right oppa?”

“But I’m prettier, so he’ll definitely choose me.”

“Girls!”

The girls then zipped their mouths as they looked at the ground.

The older then looked at where the girls were pointing and felt a big jolt of blizzard emotions flowing through his heart

We’re so close, and yet so far

We share everything, and yet still so little

And it’s not that it matters to me to feel you by my side

But it’s so difficult, what I feel now

Love of deception

I say that I hate you, but I’m lying because I miss you

Forbidden love

I miss you and the more that I love you

Love that you do not see,

It kills me

My heart, is bleeding

My love that you do not see,

It kills me

My heart, is bleeding

We are alone, so passionate

We wanted both

Yet there’s so much rejection

And It’s not that I don’t want to feel

Your skin on my hands

I want to yell,

That I love you

The singer then flashed his perfect smile that undeniably, until now never lost its effect on him.

Before he could feel his knees weaken, along with his heart that would surely melt with it, he decided to walk out of the room.

He started walking on the nearby park and breathed in air of confidence, just like what he had always done for the past three years since he had left the spotlight and live a life away from the glam and fame.

At first, he was scared of walking through this dark path that had been so foreign to him, but he didn’t taught that he’ll actually love this path that seemed to be so scary, but actually holds paradise in the end of its road.

The company had wanted him back but he already enjoyed the sweet taste of freedom, the wonderful feeling of being freed from the tight clasp of chains. So he chose to stay here, here where he could freely breathe and live life as he wanted it, without people dictating him from the things he eat and the things he wore to his whole character.

He let out a sincere smile from all of these, not like the forced one he had to muster up just to please the people. Though he still can’t erase that tinge of sadness in his heart from missing the wonderful things he had left, the other members.. that despite of the masked world they we’re in, had always stayed true to one another, that had been each other’s strength and joy; the fans.. that had wholeheartedly supported them, sending them cheers of confidence that gives them the will to continue amidst the hardships of being an idol; and him.. him where he had left a piece of his heart, him that no matter how much he enjoys this freedom that has been granted to his soul would always makes him feel incomplete, always searching for that missing piece that man holds

He was busy with his reverie that he didn’t realize a boy walking near him, handing him a piece of a familiar pink flower.

He smiled knowing who it was, so he accepted the flower as he sniffs in that familiar scent that always calms his heart.

“Tell me are you sure you’re not an angel?”

The little boy giggled as he shook his head. “Of course not hyung, do I look like an angel to you?”

“Yes you do. Whenever I’m down you’re always here to cheer me up. If you’re not an angel why do you always know the right time to show up? And you still won’t tell me why you always have this flower with you.”

The little kid shrugs. “Well actually, I always bring that flower with me because it seems that whenever I go here, you’re always sad. Seriously hyung, you should stop frowning, you’re prettier when you smile.”

His smile grew wider as he eyes the little boy even it still confuses him, he shrugs it off and is just thankful to have an angel molded to this little boy. “Thank you.”

The boy just smiled as he bid his goodbye to his hyung.

*

“Where’s my pay?” The little boy from earlier immediately asked the lanky man sitting on the driver’s seat.

Kyuhyun just gape at the kid then looked at the person beside him. “Seriously hyung! Don’t you think you should keep this boy from being with Heechul hyung too much? He’s becoming more like him, it’s scary!”

“Well what can I do? As if it’s possible to take him away from his mother. You know how scary Heechul can be when it comes to our son.”

“Hyung! My pay??” The little kid muttered, spreading his palm in front of Kyuhyun.

“Aish! This kid! It’s not even that hard!” Kyuhyun wined as he places a couple of bucks into the little kid’s hand.

“Not hard? Then why can’t you just do it yourself if it’s not that hard hyung?”

Kyuhyun was taken aback from what the kid had said, leaving him speechless and the man beside him chuckling.

“I knew it! Forget it! As if this is even worth any money. I can’t believe I lied again, I really have to pray and ask forgiveness when I get home.”

Kyuhyun gaped even more. “Wait hyung, I take it back! You and Heechul combined is even far worse and scary!” 

Siwon just laughed as he pat the younger’s back.

“Yah, yah yah fine! At least you got what you want right?” He then nudges his head at the figure at the park.

Kyuhyun turned his head and was mesmerized at the sight.

He sees the figure smiling, glowing as he does.

“Kyuhyun, how long are you actually going to do this? You’ve been doing this for three years.”

Kyuhyun just shrugged before letting out a sigh.

“I don’t know, all I know is I’m already happy seeing him smile. I’m already happy seeing him happy.”

He then smiled as he glued his gaze on the beautiful man from afar, silently wishing to be near him someday.

*

Sungmin was slowly walking with two paper bags in hand, filled with foods and other personal necessities. He now lives at a small apartment, but was enough for him to have as home.

Plus it was just near the day care center where he now works as a teacher, it could be tiring at times, of course far less tiring than being an idol, but it was fulfilling. He might have lose the cheers of millions of fans he had when he was on stage, but the giggly cheers and admiration of the little kids was already far enough for him.

“Watch out!”

Sungmin was drifting into oblivion again that didn’t realize that he was already crossing the street when he felt a pair of strong arms pushed him away, making him fell to the ground.

“Are you okay?” The man, who helped him, touched his face, his eyes filled with worry.

His heart suddenly started pumping hard as he leans on to that familiar touch, and look to that oh so familiar dark orbs.

Before he could mutter any words from his then seemed constricted throat, the guy already stood up, offering his hand to him.

He accepted it, and felt a jolt of electricity shoots trough his veins.

The man immediately let go of his hands and fixed the wide scarf placed on his neck, inching it higher then putting back his shades and fixing his beanie into place, that it covered his whole face.

But despite of the cover-up he still knows too well, who was behind the entire disguise.

The man was now picking Sungmin’s now scattered things and putting it back inside the plastic bag.

“Next time please be more careful.” The man muttered in an also masked low voice, but still not losing its velvety feel, making Sungmin shiver to the all familiar sensation.

Sungmin was confused when the guy suddenly started walking, the plastic bags still in hand.

“What are you still doing there?” The man asked nudging his head forward.

Sungmin got what the man was saying so he started walking with the other following him on the side.

The whole walk was filled with silence, saved with the few stares they constantly threw each other.

Though how much strange it was, it was actually comfortable, it felt so wonderful, the feeling of having that missing piece so near to you that you could almost reach it.

It all seemed so fast though that they can’t help but distressed as they reached Sungmin’s apartment, wishing for even just a little more time.

They both stood there not knowing what to do next.

“D- do you want to have a drink first? J.. just so I could at least thank you for helping me.” Sungmin stuttered trying to break the silence.

“But…” The other guy hesitated.

“Please?” Sungmin looked at him with hopeful eyes that he knows he could never turn down so he found himself nodding at the older man who immediately beamed with joy. That immediately replaced the fear he had inside, making him smile as well.

He then followed the older man inside. He traveled his gaze at the small apartment. Everything was neatly arranged and he chuckles inside as he sees the room still filled with pink.

“Its kinda hot in here, why don’t you take that off first?” Sungmin unconsciously asked as he tried to take off the other man’s scarf.

The man jerked from the action that he unconsciously slapped Sungmin’s hands away. They were both shocked at the action thus both leaving them standing ajar each other, eyes locked into the other.

“I – i… I’m.. I can’t..” The man suddenly turned back, going towards the door. But Sungmin’s hands suddenly found its way into the man’s arm, clutching it tightly.

“Kyuhyun.”

The said man felt his heart jumping out from him as he heard his name being spoken by that soft sweet voice making his heart a flutter.

“Kyuhyun” Sungmin repeated as tears stared flooding his porcelain face.

Kyuhyun’s tears followed afterwards, accompanying its mate from its fall.

He then slowly faced the other man and the next thing he knew is his lips were already attached to the others, throwing three years of bottled emotion into one passionate kiss that the other immediately responded with much intensity.

They let themselves drown into the reunion of their souls, pushing away all the questions and worries, embracing that wonderful scent of paradise, freely dancing in the core of their hearts.

With much resistance, they broke the passion-filled kiss as their lungs screams for air.

Kyuhyun was about to dive in again to the amazing whirl of paradise when Sungmin stopped him.

“I’m sorry, I.. I’m so sorry.” The older man muttered in between sobs as he hurriedly run to his room, leaving Kyuhyun.

Sungmin slipped down the floor the second he slammed the door, sobbing all the pain inside his heart.

Kyuhyun felt his body being nailed the ground as he hears the sobs of the other, he wanted so bad to run to him and comfort him, but he cursed his body as it chose to walk away leaving them both in pain.

*

It was a great thing that Kyuhyun was recording a variety show with the other members that no one notices his motionless state.

Kyuhyun was sitting like a dead corpse on stage as tons of voices from different people surrounded the large room, but all that filled his mind was Sungmin, the familiar taste of the others lips to his, and that familiar tinge of pain in his heart whenever he sees the pain he causes the other.

 It crumples his heart, thinking that after three years, after whole three years of being separated from the man that holds his entire heart, it’s still him who causes him pain.

He exhaled a puff of air as he suddenly jerked up from his seat, shocking and confusing the others on the set.

Even he was shocked with the sudden action but his mind, body and soul screams exhaustion, tired of being locked up in place of the make-up Kyuhyun the management built, he wanted to be free.

“I..” He started as he brought the microphone up, thinking of any comprehensible words to explain what he feels, but all that swims in his brain are jumbled words that everything seems so incoherent. “I’m.. I’m gay.”

He could hear loud gasps surrounding the large space, but letting it out feels so great inside him that he had the confidence to just continue letting it all out.

“And I’ve been in love with a special someone for years. I’m so sorry if I kept it this long. I was just, I was scared. I was a big coward. I’m so sorry.”

Tears started dropping from his eyes, washing away the powder that has been masking his face. But he couldn’t care less, he was finally free.

What made him felt greater was when the other members started surrounding him, all with a huge grin on their face. “We’re so proud of you.”

A huge sincere smile finds its way into his face as he hugs them with joy. “Thank you.. thank you!”

“I.. I have to..” The others just nodded sending him confidence to go for it.

So he started running, his smile didn’t lose its place on his face as his ears fills with huge applauses from the room.

He wanted to stop and thank them but he doesn’t want to waste any more time, wanting to share this freedom with that one person he always wanted to be with. He immediately went to his car and drove to a place he had been so familiar for years.

His heart started beating like a drum matching his steps as he walks the road where his happiness is.

Loud gasps and screams could be heard around after seeing him but he didn’t mind it, he just continued walking as he comes nearer his destination.

He breathed in confidence as he sees the man he was looking for, just the mere sight of him sending his heart a blaze.

Sungmin was confused when he heard the people around him shrieking and shouting.

Omo!!! Cho Kyuhyun!!!!

He could feel his body freezing after hearing the name, he doesn’t want to believe it but he still carefully turned around to see if it was true.

His breath hitch after seeing the person walking towards him.

He wanted to say something, ask why he was here, but it’s as if his voice was trapped inside him, that he can’t let out even a single word, so he just stood there as he looks at the figure inch by inch breaking the barrier that had been separating them.

So they broke the gap as Kyuhyun brought Sungmin’s lips to his. Sharing the passion they know they only feel when they’re one.

Butterflies started dancing inside their stomach, as if rejoicing with them as they both into each other’s lips. Each kiss filled with so much affection they have towards each other.

They breathlessly cut the kiss as they look at each other’s eyes, both orbs filled with millions of wonderful emotions.

“I love you.”

“W.. what?” Sungmin asked, trying to assure if his ears wasn’t just playing with him.

“I love you! I love you!” Kyuhyun started screaming, joy filling his heart, happy, that he finally let out those three words that he had always wanted to say.

Sungmin started crying, all still seems like a dream to him, all of it still feels so surreal.

“I love you Lee Sungmin. I’m so in love with you.” Kyuhyun repeated in between chaste kisses, loving the feeling of letting out that wonderful emotion he had kept in his heart for far too long.

“I love you too.” Sungmin replied as he holds Kyuhyun’s head, leaning in for a longer fervor kiss.

Kyuhyun holds Sungmin on the waste as he also leans into the intense-filled kiss. They could hear the cheers of the people surrounding them but that moment, all that matters is each other, all that matters is that wonderful sensation enrapturing them as they share that similar feeling they have in their hearts they only feel towards each other. Love.