Sungmin woke up the next day with Shindong beside him then saw Ryeowook and Eunhyuk occupying the other bed.
He wants to smile with the thought of his friends being there for him but no matter how hard he tries, he can’t.
There’s this part of him that still yearns for that part that’s missing. He just can’t ignore that big hole in his heart that was once occupied by Kyuhyun.
The younger guy holds a big part of him that without him is like losing that pillar that keeps him intact, making him crumble down to pieces.
He carefully slips off the bed, afraid he’ll wake the other members.
Then he slowly opened the door and was greeted by some of the other members sleeping at the living room. All cuddled together, clearly getting strength from one another. It kills him more inside as he thinks of how much pain he have caused them.
If he hadn’t have been so selfish this could not have happened.
He let the love he had for Kyuhyun eat the best of him.
It’s fine with him if he’s the only one taking the consequence, he had long prepared himself for the payback the fires of hell awaits him.
But what hurts the most is the other members being dragged down with him in the hot flames of misery.
He feels the guilt crawling inside him, eating him whole as he thinks of the pain he had brought to the group. And worse Is he didn’t just failed s, he had failed all the ELFs as well.
It crumpled his heart as he thinks of the pain and disappointment he caused them, and more if they find out about SM’s decision.
The pain he fears he had caused all of them piles up in heart that everything’s so heavy for him to bear.
He ran out of the living room, afraid that he’ll have another breakdown in front of the members and sharing to them more pain from him is the last thing he would ever want to do.
He inhaled a deep breath, hoping to push away even a bit of the piled up weight in his heart.
Then his eyes landed on a sparkling piece of metal, neatly placed on the counter as if waiting for his arrival.
He eyes the enticing thing, taking control over him, compelling him to go nearer.
His trembling hand obeys the calls in his mind telling him to reach for it as his eyes glint with delight as he gets hold of its shiny exterior.
He then eyed it with fascination as he brought his fingers to it's body, admiring its sleek and sharp edges, then his eyes was brought on his wrist as if its the most rightful place for the thing that entices his mind.
He could feel his heart’s trembling like a drum but his body seemed to have a mind of its own as his hand voluntary brings the knife nearer to his wrist.
Little by little, breaking the gap.
He winced as the sharp edge unites with his skin.
But his mind was immediately diverted from the pain as he eyes that luscious crimson red blood embracing his smooth white skin, fascinating him to draw the union deeper.
“LEE SUNGMIN!”
Sungmin broke from the spell as he hears someone shouted his name, and then he felt strong hands pulling the knife away from him. He lifted his head up to look at the owner and his trembling heart suddenly calmed down as his gaze reach the figure.
“Kyuhyun?”
The magnae abruptly, but carefully, hold his bleeding wrist making the other wince as all the pain suddenly shoots in his system.
Kyuhyun trembled as he eyes his hyung being enveloped in pain but didn’t let it take over his sanity as he immediately tore a piece from the sleeve of his designer shirt with strength he didn’t taught he had. Then he immediately wrapped it into Sungmin’s wrist, hoping it will stop the bleeding.
He then checked Sungmin’s whole body to see if anything else’s wrong. He heaved a sigh of relief after being assured that the latter’s fine.
“What the heck were you thinking?!” Kyuhyun shouted as he crashed his fist on the counter, making Sungmin flinch along with the other members who immediately ran to the area when they heard Kyuhyun shout, hearts breaking more than it already is as they witness the whole scene.
Sungmin stiffen, not used to an angry Kyuhyun.
Kyuhyun noticed it so he puts his hands into his face, bringing his boiling body to calm down.
After a few seconds, he suddenly brings Sungmin in his arms, drawing the other into a tight hug.
The other gasped at the sudden action but let himself drown by the warmth his body always wanted.
He rested his head to the body he had longed for, slowly curing his pain.
Then, he heard sobs that wasn’t his, followed by hot tears soaking his back.
He looked at the magnae, then his heart flip down as he sees the other in tears for the first time.
Kyuhyun brought his hands to Sungmin’s face and caresses it lovingly, letting his tears fall that has always been burdening his heart.
“Don’t ever do that again. Promise me you’ll never do that again.”
Sungmin slowly nodded, confused by the other’s actions but nevertheless happy with it.
Kyuhyun was relieved with Sungmin’s answer as he brings the older man into his arms again and hugged him tight as if afraid to lose him while he chant lines in his head he never had the courage to say out loud.
*
Kyuhyun carefully tucked Sungmin in his pink fluffy bed after everyone’s assured that he’s already fine. He was about to leave when Sungmin suddenly gripped on his hand.
“P- please don’t leave me.”
Kyuhyun looked at Sungmin’s pleading eyes that he knows he could never resist. So he just smiled as he occupied the other side of the bed.
Sungmin smiled back as he hugs Kyuhyun tight.
Just 2 days of being away with this man is like a lifetime as he feels every second of the loss killing him slowly, and now he had another chance to have him in his arms, he wanted to cherish every second of it as he prepares himself, because he knows that he'll have to let all of it go again..
“I love you.”
Sungmin softly murmured in a low voice but loud enough for Kyuhyun to hear and make his body stiff. The other felt it but just continued.
“I’ve always loved you.”
“Sung-“
“Ssh..” Sungmin silenced Kyuhyun, not letting him talk.
“But..”
“Please. I just want a chance to let out what I’ve always hidden inside my heart. I’m not asking for you to love me back, I love you Kyuhyun.” Sungmin muttered as he looks straight into Kyuhyun’s orbs, mustering the courage to atleast let it all out. be fore he go
“I’ll be willing to lose everything, even my life, just for a chance to love you. Please let me love you, Please let me love you even just for tonight.”
Kyuhyun didn’t had the chance to answer as Sungmin already engulfed his lips into a soft sweet kiss.
Their kiss was different with their other make-out session.
This time, it was more gentler; more passionate yet not fierce; deep yet gentle.. full of love and not lust.