Unconditionally...

Remember how we were, remember how I was…

We came to this country, just the two of us, hand in hand, complete strangers to this country. With the help of one of dad’s friend we had a place to stay, it wasn’t much but it was enough for us. You gave me the bedroom while you took the living room. It was just the two of us in that basement apartment.

You enrolled me in to school as I held on to your hand tightly that first day. I was afraid to leave your side. You kneeled down to me with that encouraging smile of yours as you kiss me on my forehead and told me that everything will be fine, that I will be great, that you were proud of me. You asked me to be brave for you.

I nodded without truly understanding.

You would come to pick me up after school each day and I would always see that smile of yours with your arms wide open as I ran to your embrace. The walk home hand in hand with you was the highlight of my day.

Every night I would see you sitting by that sewing machine working tirelessly away. I would sit by you and you would glance over at me every now and then with that assuring smile of yours.

You would tuck me in at night and wish me “sweet dreams” before kissing my forehead gently.

My birthday was coming up and I was crying over a toy I had seen and wanted. You calmly asked me to be patient and you would get it for me in due time, but I was too stubborn to listen and whined to you and demanded I get it for my birthday.

You walked me to school that next day but I was still mad at you and didn’t want to walk with you. I tried to ignore you. That afternoon when you picked me up from school, you had that tender smile on your face and you held something behind you. I stared at you with a pout until I saw what you wanted to surprise me with; it was the toy that I had wanted. I ran to you with a teeth-baring smile and grabbed the toy. You took me in to your embrace and kissed me on my cheek and wished me a happy birthday. I kissed you back with a smile.

That night I held tightly to the toy as I slept. I woke up in the middle of the night and opened my bedroom door to see you sitting in the living room staring at a picture of dad and tears were streaming down your face. I went back to bed not knowing what your tears meant.

You greeted me the next day with a bright smile as you had breakfast prepared for me. I stared at you as I recalled what I saw the previous night.

I didn’t know it then but you were having a hard time being so far away from your family. You were having a hard time adjusting. You were afraid for me, for us.

The toy you got me was from you asking dad’s friend to help. I still have that toy. I treasure it like there’s no other.

I’m sorry for not understanding.

Adolescence hit and I was now in middle school. I became more distant from you but you still showed me that loving and caring affection that you always did. I was going through different changes that caused a lot of arguments between the two of us, but you continued to stay calm and understood what I was going through.

I became embarrassed at the fact that we were still living in that small little basement apartment. I was too embarrassed to bring my friends over or even tell them where or how I lived. Even when they asked about you I would refuse to tell them. I became embarrassed of you.

You would pack me lunch but I would always refuse. I never told you but each time I took the lunch I ended up throwing them away at school. I rather starved than let my friends see me with a packed lunch you had made for me.

I wanted to fit in so I constantly demanded you get me the latest and newest things. Whatever my friend had I wanted to have the same thing. You would always object but a week or so later I would see it by my bed the next morning.

I didn’t know it back then but you were working tirelessly to make me proud of you, making sure that you provided the best for me.

I’m sorry for not being appreciative.

High school came around and I became more and more distant from you.

We finally moved out of that little basement apartment and in to a real apartment. We moved in and I had such a satisfied smile on my face. I looked over at you and you had that sweet, tender, proud smile on your face as you looked back at me. Tears were forming in your eyes.

I didn’t know it back then but they were tears of happiness; happiness of seeing me happy.

High school became a rough patch for us. I ran with the wrong crowd and caused more trouble than I should have. I placed you in a position that caused you to worry for me more than you should have.

I would come home late and I find you sitting at your sewing machine waiting for me. You never once scolded me for coming back late. All I got from you were words of worry, asking if I was ok, if I was tired, if I was hungry. Telling me you had made me food for me and you would heat it up for me.

That made me even more angry to see you so calm with me. I was trying to rebel against you. But I had no reason to do so, you were never pushing me away, instead it was me who did so. I tried to provoke you, to the point where I began stealing money from you, but all you did was worry about me and continue to make sure that I had the best of everything.

I remembered what you said to me when I confronted you about it. You smiled at me with those caring eyes as tears streamed down your face, “I love you. Your life is your life. You choose how you want to live it. I worry everyday about how you’re doing and what you’re doing when you’re not present in front of me, but the moment you appear, I know that you’re safe and you know to come home. I will support you to the world’s end, all I need to know is you’re living a good and healthy life.”

I remember breaking down that night in front of you. You held me tightly in your arms as you continue to gaze at me with those proud eyes. I changed my ways after that night.

I graduated high school with honors. I stood on that podium as I accepted my diploma. I stared out in to the crowd to see you standing up at your seat as you gave me a standing ovation; staring so proudly up at me.

I’m sorry for causing you so much worries.

I entered university and began working part time to help you with our financial situation. You’ve aged and your sight was not as good it used to be so you had to give up your sewing but you still insisted on working. You had gotten a job in a restaurant washing the dishes and doing whatever laborious duties that needed done.

I knew my part time job wasn’t enough to support us but I had hoped you would have found something better but you insisted on working how you were.

Each time I get my paycheck and gave it to you, you always told me to keep it for my own personal use. But I insisted. Only later did I find out that you were putting that aside for me to help me pay for my schooling. You helped me through university with what you were saving.

I overheard a conversation you were having with one of your friends on the phone and you were bragging about me and how I was your pride and joy. You brought a smile to my face. You were always so proud of me and ready to brag about me at any given chance you get.

I remember graduating university and you were there, standing in the crowd, tears streaming down your face as you stared at me so proudly.

The picture of us holding my degree is hanging on our wall. That sweet caring and proud smile of yours brightens my day each time I look at it.

I’m sorry for taking you for granted.

Another year has passed and I’m sitting in our apartment alone again on your birthday. I’m looking through our photo albums and remembering all the things that we’ve gone through together.

You were always so proud of me and I took it all for granted. There are so many regret that I have when it comes to you. I wish to have taken care of you better. You did so much for me but I have yet to do anything for you.

You once told me that the best thing I could and will ever do for you was be your child. I don’t feel I could ever repay you properly or enough to fulfill all that you’ve done for me.

Mom, no matter how many lives I live please forever be my mom.

Thank you for being a mom that supports me without whim.

Thank you for being a mom that saw only the best in me.

Thank you for being a mom that is forever proud of me.

Thank you for being a mom that sacrifices so much for me.

Thank you for being a mom that loves me unconditionally…

A/N: I wrote this story on a whim. I was watching Wedding Dress and My Mom and I was bawling like there's no tomorrow. I highly recommend those movies if you enjoy family oriented relationship films. It truly makes you think. This story is not really based on anyone particular, it reflects my life, my friend's life, to a certain extent. Some events are exaggerated to create more of a dramatic affect but nothing too serious. My mom however is still alive and well and I love her very much. I guess I just wanted to offer some life assistance to those out there that might sometimes feel resentment towards their mom or parents in general. I just wanted to offer some advice to appreciate what you have before it's too late. So to all the moms and parents out there, the sacrifices you make does not go unnoticed. As children, we appreciate and love you for all that you do.