(Argh, they're all so perfect<3)

Eun Ae

The days to follow the chaotic yet truly amazing first two days slowly lost their fantasy meaning and sparkle, but instead began to reveal the true reality of being a trainee.

Practice back at SM also became rigorous. Everyday after school, the girls and I endured five straight hours of vocal and dance training. EXO have Pauline and Jinsoo oppa as trainers while we have Myeong and Jenny as instructors. Although I don’t know how hard the EXO members’ trainers are, Myeong is like a wicked maniac and Jenny has serious tantrums when we don’t sing well.

School was also keeping my life busy. Although I missed school my first day as a trainee, I continued to attend school. I pulled out of Daewon Foreign Language High School and was enrolled into Jeonju Art High School, the same school many other famous idols have attended in the past.
Just on the first day, I realized that this high school was so much more different from Daewon. I barely had any time to myself (it was a miracle I even discovered my love for music while being a student there), but at Jeonju we are dismissed so much earlier. Also, instead of being drilled with strictly academics all day long, I am struggling to catch up in acting, singing, and dancing.

However, there are still some familiar things about my schedule. Because I am already fluent in many languages, SM did not require me to fix such classes. I had a few extra periods, so I filled them with calculus and engineering classes, refusing to let go of my academic background. They were all near the end of the day so I could relax during these classes and lose myself in problems and numbers.

These classes, along with my practices with Jongdae and Baekhyun, were mainly the reasons why I persevered through the exhausting days and training. After my little session with the two main singers the first day, SM thought it was a brilliant idea to continue the practices. Kyungsoo (which I learned to call him after he gave me his O_O face when I called him D.O.), Joonmyun (Chanyeol teased me when I said ‘Suho’--it was just too cheesy), and Luhan joined us occasionally. A few of the girl trainees were also part of the practices: Ming Xue, Yoonsang, Seonghyun, and Jinseong.

Every night, all twenty-four of us would go out to that funny restaurant--the Giant Mushroom--to have a gigantic meal before heading to bed. I have come to know the girl trainees extremely well in just a few days, but there are only about seven who actually enjoy my presence.

Jongdae and Baekhyun never left me. They are always there during practice, always there at meals, and always there to us back to our dorms. Although we may have had some spats concerning my status as a rabid EXO fan, they did not drift away from me. Maybe it’s because they pity me, or maybe they truly want my company. I will never know.

Today is Saturday.

Groaning, I was dragged out of bed by a grumpy Ai Hui who kept barking in Chinese, “Do you want to succeed in life? Huh? Do you? Get up you lazy butts!” Ming Xue had already prepared soggy bowls of cereal for us, and Jeonghye was muttering under her breath the entire time we were in the dorm.

I sloshed the milk around in my cereal bowl, not the least bit hungry. Back at home, when I still attended Daewon, weekends were pretty relaxing. I spent the majority of my time sleeping, rejuvenating after a busy week. However, as a trainee who is also a student, I go to school early in the morning and come back to an afternoon full of practices. Weekends are the only times we can actually dedicate all of our time into training.

By the time we arrived at the building, it just turned ten-thirty. Ai Hui always wants to get to the training room early so we would have a chance to really stretch out our bodies before the others come. I stuck with simple leg stretches while my roommate did splits in multiple forms and positions. Just the other day, when she was doing backflips in the studio, I learned that she was a student of the prestigious Beijing Dance Academy, where Hangeng and Victoria were from.

If I really want to make the cut, I’ve got to work hard.

Suddenly, I felt two fingers jab sharply me in my sides, making me squeal at the top of my lungs. Whining and clutching my stomach, I pouted and turned around to face a smiling Jongdae.

“Annyeong.” he chuckled and waved frantically at me, absolutely elated.

“Yah. That hurt,” I slapped him hard on the chest, narrowing my eyes. “Don’t do that again. Especially if I’m not in a good mood.” I pounded on his lean body a few more times, trying to get my message across.

“Ne, ne, mianhae,” he just laughed louder and caught my fists easily. “Don’t kill me now.”

“I’m going to murder you if you do that again,” I threatened only half-jokingly. Pulling myself out of his grasp, I tried to continue stretching. “Where are your members?”

“Warming up in the other room,” he stuck his hands in his sweat pant pockets and rocked on his heels. “Eunnie, would you like to drink tonight?”

I stopped mid-lunge and stared at him with my are-you-absolutely-nuts expression. “Jongdae, I don’t drink.”

He smirked at me and pulled out two coupons that had “Free Refillable Beverage” in large black letters on them. “The other members would go crazy if I only invited one of them. You wouldn’t let these go to waste, would you?”

I stared at the coupons. The money that could be used on drinks could go to the poor...use the coupon...use it... My conscience was killing me. Finally, I gave in and snatched one of the flimsy slips of paper. “Fine,” I snapped. “Let’s leave in the middle of dinner. Just don’t tell anyone.” I shuddered, imagining the pungent smell of alcohol.

Jongdae just smiled angelically at me and slipped the other coupon into his pocket. He made a crooked heart with his arms over his head and squealed,

“Noona, saranghae!” Although I was younger, he often called me “noona” when I was being touchy.

Rolling my eyes, I pushed him roughly away from me and continued to complete my lunges as his bubbly giggles faded out the door.

I was so nervous about my agreement to drink with Jongdae that I could barely eat anything during dinner. “Eun Ae, eat, eat!” Baekhyun urged me, waving his chopsticks around.

“I’m not hungry.” I looked down at my kimchi and could almost taste the acid of beer in my mouth.

“Really?” he leaned in with stuffed cheeks. “Want oppa to help finish?”

“Sure, if you’re still hungry.” He nodded, so I scraped half my plate onto his. He dug into his meal adorably, chomping away.

Picking at my noodles, I decided that we might as well leave early since Jongdae, who was sitting on the far side of the restaurant with his EXO-M members, had already finished his third bowl of ramen. That guy never gets fat.

I got up and quietly asked if we could leave, and he stood up immediately. After I paid for my meal (and ended up also paying for Jongdae), he dragged me out of the restaurant at the speed of light and we came to a small outdoor bar that reeked of liquor.

“Ajhumma,” he beamed at the middle-aged, curly-haired woman and handed her our two coupons. “May we have a seat near the entrance?” She nodded, her hair bouncing slightly, and walked away to get our drinks.

“Do you often come here?” I asked him, curious about his drinking habits. Jongdae just chuckled and slid one of the beers the ahjumma placed on the table in front of him. He sipped it cautiously at first, but then downed the entire thing in one go, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed.
I just gaped at him as he slammed the empty mug down and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Silently, I watched him raise his hand for another refill.

“Y-yah.” I stuttered, staring at the huge mug of smelly bubbly liquid in front of me.

“Don’t talk, just enjoy the feeling.” Jongdae smirked at me and started on his second drink. I could only watch, speechless, as he chugged down mug after mug. Eventually, I handed over my own beer to the crazy EXO member so the poor ajhumma didn’t have to run over with another pitcher.

After an hour or two, it was pretty clear the guy was dead drunk. He was slumped over in his chair, his head barely grazing the table. It was definitely time for us to go home.

“I am never giving out those coupons to him again.” I heard the ajhumma mutter under her breath as I tried to drag Jongdae out of his seat.

“Come on!” I slung one of his arms over my shoulders and stood up, trying to keep my balance. “You look like an idiot!” I whispered into his ear, glancing at the others in the bar. Chen of EXO-M’s reputation could not be ruined.

“Shh...” he smiled into my hair and blindly waved his arms in wide circles. “Enjoy...the feeling!”

“I don’t think you’re even conscious enough to enjoy anything.” I snapped and took a few steps forward. Jongdae childishly buried his face into my shoulder and limped along as I dragged him.

Suddenly, I heard a choked voice a few feet in front of me.

“Eun Ae?”

My breath stopped short. No...it can’t be...not here.

I refused to look up. For an entire week, I had not seen my parents. For an entire week, I had not contacted them to let them know where I was. For an entire week, I struggled with the idea that they were suffering everyday without their daughter.

“Eun Ae,” Hands grasped my arm and I squeezed my eyes shut, clinging to the subconscious Jongdae. “Eun Ae. How could you?” A strained but deep voice sounded near my ear.

I winced as weak fists pummeled my back. Omma. She was wailing on the top her lungs, crying like I had died. I couldn’t stop a hot tear from sliding down my cheek.

“Where did you go? Why did you leave?” My mom cried, her tone broken and cracked. “You--you--”

“Who are they?” Jongdae peered at my parents in his drunken state. “What do they want from you?” He raised his voice, squeezing my shoulders tightly. I wrapped an arm around his waist, trying to block out the cries and tears. He held me close to him and continued to glare at my parents.

“ARE YOU LIVING WITH THIS--” My dad shouted, spluttering. I imagined his face tomato red, his veins popping out of his neck. “--THIS--DRUNKARD--HOW CAN YOU CHOOSE THIS LIFE?”

The questions being thrown at me was causing my head to throb and more tears to run. I sobbed into Jongdae’s shirt and managed to choke out, “Omma, Appa, please don’t worry about me anymore. Forget all that’s happened. I’m with SM Entertainment, so there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

“SM--Entertain--” My mom whispered. Suddenly, I heard her crumple and fall into my dad’s arms.

A long moment of silence hung in the air as we stood there only a few feet away.

Finally, my father spoke up. “Park Eun Ae, come with us,” He barely whispered, his voice cracking. “You don’t know what’s best for you.”

“I know what I want!” I yelled, my vision blurred with tears.

I can’t stop now. I can’t. No matter who gets in the way, no matter what I sacrifice in the end, this is the path I chose.

“And I will do it!”

“EUN AE!” Appa shouted again, his voice more devastated than angry.

“G-goodbye, father,” I choked on my words and led Jongdae away from my crying parents. As we walked away, I swallowed the last words I was going to say.

I’m sorry.

“That’s the spirit, Eun Ae.” Jongdae murmured against my ear, sending chills down my back and more tears appeared on my cheeks as we hobbled towards the dorm building.  

Finally, new update. AP Chinese test tomorrow, then update time! ^^

Sad... D:

Teehee, follow me on tumblr: http://ohmyjongdae.tumblr.com/ I follow back! XD

@Yogurt - Did the list help? ^^

@mangojuice - *pats your head* I feel your pain.

@Lila8171997 - Teehee, he was having mood swings.