When Jiyong walked in, the whole shop was alive. Everyone seemed to be doing something today. They were all working on a vehicle, getting parts, removing parts, asking for this, asking for that; it was like a beehive. So much as even his sister wasn't around to greet him when he walked in, and he had to admit, even if he loved his sister, he was very grateful for it. As he stood in the doorframe, still clutching the golden metal knob, he began to contemplate whether or not he planned to go to the break room. Seunghyun wouldn't be back from the school for at least another five minutes(most likely ten actually),so if he wanted to, he could avoid the man all together. The thought of that made his stomach feel like it was trying to digest a needle that stabbed him a few times. Seunghyun was not going to like this convorsation. Jiyong knew that the older was not ready for this,so instead of facing him, he walked into the back room. He also threw his packback across the room into the desk because no one was around to hear before crashing onto the small couch back there. Everything hurt, and everything was going to be the death of him.

 

Jiyong found himself thinking about death after that. The variety of ways it could happen,how much fun it would be,but his favorite one, the miniscule amount of people that would be affected by it. His eyes fluttered, and he felt himself yawning,sleep trying to coo him into another world. A safe world. One that Seunghyun wasn't in to find out his secrets, to get into his personal affairs. One where he didn't have to find relief in a sharp object that could open skin. The one that he could find comfort in the truth of "I love you."

 

At last it was safe for a while. The beautiful dreamless sleep that carried him out of his pain for a while,making him feel a little less worthless and a little more of a person. Until the door was pushed open and he was being dragged somewhere before he even opened his eyes. When he did, he blinked them a few times, disbelief of what he saw. "You aren't allowed to be in the back!" 

 

"When I have his permission, you have no say. Sorry jagiya." He replied,not even looking at Jiyong now, which might have been better as Jiyong was almost scared to have those once so shimmering eyes look at him with this kind of expression.

 

Obviously he was still throwing his tempter tantrum,which made Jiyong become angrier. Who was Seunghyun to be judging him, or whatever it was he was planning on doing? He began pullling his wrist away,trying to rip it away from the vice grip,causing it to tighten to the point where it was almost cutting off circulation. Seunghyun looked back at him once,continuing his dragging until they were outside in the parking lot.

 

The sun was bright through a sea of cloudless blue. The wind wasn't blowing anymore like it had during lunch, so Jiyong didn't have to hold his jacket closer to him. Jiyong's hand fell from the grip of the older in a moment as he spun around to face him. "Is it true?" Seunghyun wouldn't be able to face reality if it was.

 

"No." There were tears in his eyes.

 

"Can you prove that?"

 

"No." The word came out through a held back sob.

 

There was a forced laugh, ugly and sad that make Jiyong's jaw clench, a trait that was very rarely used. Jiyong watched Seunghyun look like he was about to kick something had anything been around to be struck like the poor locker incident from earlier when he went storming into the halls to go and find Siwon. It must have been a fun chat, having Seunghyun yell curse words and be all riled up which was the whole point of Siwon being such a rude person. It was to get under your skin, and he obviously had for Seunghyun too. Siwon had all around won.

 

 The older ran a hand through his hair. Even Jiyong could tell that Seunghyun was trying to figure out what to say, or maybe it was how to word it, but either way, there was trouble with something. There was a cloud of battles raging through his light eyes that looked painful. It reminded him of the day he asked about his brother. The way his eyes darkened, loosing their luster, and everything looked strained.

 

"Jiyong, will you ever stop lying to me?"

 

The younger grumbled,tears vanishing faster then a snake bite. "How do you know I'm lying? Siwon-sshi's the liar!" Yelled the blonde-brunette, his eyes narrowed in accusation because maybe, just maybe he could make Seunghyun believe it. All he really wanted was for Seunghyun to believe him, even if it was a lie. He wanted Seunghyun to hug him, and melt his mind with a kiss to just end everything and make the pain go away. It'd only been one day since they'd even been together,right? Wait, were they even together? So couldn't he have one more day of luxury, being cradled in the most beautiful man's arms? Jiyong prayed in his mind. Praying for everything to go away so he would finally, for once in his mediocre life, be safe again. But God worked in strange ways, and maybe to be safe, this was how it was to go. Jiyong set his mind to it because he would be himself again.

 

There was no facial change. No surprise, no anger, not even shock. "He wasn't the one who told me. I heard it from someone else."

 

Jiyong's eyes widened like saucers. There was no one else there watching him except for Siwon, so Siwon had already spread it around long enough for whoever knows Seunghyun to let him in on the secret.

 

"I thought you didn't hang out with people at school?" It was all he could think of, so he rolled with that.

 

"I don't, but I had one guy that I trust to keep an eye on you when I wasn't there, and he did. I said the second that got within touching distance, kill him, but he didn't go that far, did he Jiyong? He didn't have too, did he?" His voice got edgier with an interogation feel to it as if Jiyong had just murdered someone. He hadn't done that,but he might soon, though you can't go to jail if your dead. Hm, maybe that wasn't such a bad idea. With the way things seemed to be going, it would be him dying so very soon because, man, there is only so much a person can take. This wasn't one of them. 

 

"So that's what you meant when you said you would handle it. You had someone watch me, and this person told you?"

 

Seunghyun shoved his hands into his deep blue jean pockets,nodding his head once as he looked up to the sky. "Show me your arms, and your leg. Please, prove to me that he was lying. I don't know how to handle if you're lying to me again, Jiyong."

 

And then came the words he shouldn't have said. The words that came out before he could catch them and swollow them back down, or at least hide until he changed them so they wouldn't be as painful.

 

"Well don't handle it then."

 

Jiyong knew they were coming, but he didn't stop them, even though he wanted too. Everyone knew he was a ed up kid now. Everyone had reasons to hate him. Now he had given one to Seunghyun too. By the end of this convorsation, Jiyong would be more alone than he had ever been before and he knew it. Because his mouth kept going in an angry, long speech, and he didn't stop it like he should have, but maybe it was because it was meant to be this way. So he yelled his words at Seunghyun in a way that someone should be yelling at him. "Just leave me alone and you won't have to deal with it. You can let me go back to my life that was actually normal, and you can go back to your smiling happy days. We can pretend nothing ever happened so you won't have to deal with me and my stupid,annoying, needy self!"

 

Seunghyun almost had the wind knocked out of him. It looked like he was ready to gorge out his eyeballs and shove scissors in his eardrums. "Would you prefer that, Jiyong? Do you want me to just go away?" Those eyes that used to be so full of light were downcast, near tears and looked like he'd just been told to kill himself by his own mother, or whoever was the most important being to him right now. Well maybe said person just did. "You didn't want me to leave five years ago. Back when I was that chubby, long haired kid that was your best friend."

 

Jiyong kicked the pavement in front of him because he knew, deep down, that he was right, but he wasn't going to let him be anymore. "Well we aren't kids anymore. We forgot about eachother when you left to the point of not even recognizing eachother, and we'll do it again. I never liked people knowing my business anyway."

 

The older closed his eyes in such a face that he looked like he was holding back a swinging fist. There was a high possibility that he was holding back because he would never hurt Jiyong, which both of them knew, but only Seunghyun knew what he would actually swing like a crazy man for. "So you'd rather stay like this? You'd rather be a lying idiot who pushes away everyone? Even when all they want is to care for you?"

 

"I don't want people to care for me. It makes things complicated! You could possibly die in a Black fight, don't you know that? It's not worth it! So call it off, and pretend I never existed."

 

Seunghyun laughed some choking, way-of-coping sort of laugh. "I'm not calling off  that fight because you do exist. You're here, and hurt, and still fighting me. I thought it'd go away, and you'd accept it, but it's gotten worse. I can't accept a person whose fighting me, and lying to me as much as you do,so when you decide to realize what's going on, good for you. Maybe then you will realize what your mind is doing to you." And Seunghyun walked away, not letting Jiyong retort to what he had said. Left him standing there with his mouth open as he walked over to a black Honda motorcycle,pulled on the helmet, and revved his engine to a speedy life down the road, gone in a cloud of dust as if nothing was there in the first place. Who knows, maybe there wasn't.

 

Jiyong fell to his knees,huge and clear as day water streaks on his face where the moist drops fell from his stinging eyes, and the vomit from earlier made it's appearance. It was wretched. He was wretched. Jiyong felt like he was about as low as a murderer who killed his own child, which may have been accurate as he just killed the one relationship that actually could have meant something. Really, where do you find a guy like that,huh?

 

It took another five minutes for his brain to return to him. When he finally realized what had happened, what he had done, nothing seemed to matter really because he'd done it, and it was over. Everything was lost,numb, and really useless to anything, but he went inside and laid on the couch again,determined to sleep. Jiyong slept for the last few hours he was at the shop, and slept more when he got home.

 

Even his mother tried to wake him up to at least drink something after an hour and a half, but he refused. Today had been the worst day of his life,everything was horrible, and he wanted the world to die in a pit of flames.

 

Jiyong wasn't even upset exactly about the break up between him and Seunghyun though. It was more of the way it had been handled, and even that wasn't most of it. Most of it was all because of Siwon ing Choi. The ignorant bastard who everyone idoloizes so he can make the younger's life even more miserable because hey, why should he be happy? Exactly.