I enter the lobby after catching my breath from my run, glad to be away from the gazes of everyone. The main desk was unattended but I take the elevator up, pacing the small square until it opened, and then using the stairs to get on the roof.
Had I really been so close to the others this entire time? Was this really the place?
I push open the door and step out into the cool air. My eyes searching for the spot. Trying to make out anything red on the concrete floor. I don’t see anything until the light shifts slightly and I see there’s a faded red--almost a rustic orange--color in the middle of the grey square. I walk over to it and kneel.
My blood?
I hear the gunshot ring in my ears again, and the feeling of the bullet hitting me, but I shake away the illusions and swallow to rehydrate my throat before slowly standing.
This could’ve not be my blood..this could be some sort of dust or rust or..something else. Seunghyun isn’t the type to shoot in cold blood...was this a nightmare?
I return back down, leaving the hotel.
Where was the studio I’d been made a fool at? Performed ‘on stage’ with all my heart? A heart that was torn away and destroyed. Ripped apart to shreds until nothing but hollowness was left.
I find it, find the room, the screen. Staring at it, I want to destroy it.But I stay there, the performance so vivid, my voice mixed with the crowd’s echoing in my ear. I’d given my all.
Could I sing anymore? Could I dance?
I begin to reenact the concert. Doing every step perfectly, singing every line on time...but..it feels wrong, so messed up...what was wrong? Before I know it I’ve stopped tears trailing down my face.
How could I possibly still be the ‘Almighty’ the ‘Triple Threat’? How could I continue this when I felt my heart wasn’t even with me now?
I return to the hotel, taking a seat on a chair in the lobby, wiping away at my eyes, suddenly feeling completely drained of energy...perhaps I shouldn’t have left the hospital..
I lean back and close my eyes and allowing my mind to drift away, only to be startled awake again.
Crickets chirped, silenced by the occasional car that passed by. I was back in my dorm, and I look around, to find Jonghyun was gone. I push the blankets away and climb out of bed,
“Onew? Jjong? Minho!?” I call out, but the house is empty.
I turn on the lights as I go through the rooms, the darkness suffocating me, and as I turn around after searching Onew’s room, I run into Jonghyun.
“You’re awake?” he speaks as a breath of relief hits me, “You look pale, Key..come on, I got your medicine.”
He follows after Jonghyun, glad that it had only been a dream, a nightmare...the relief just kept coming as he realized this, but then asked,