A/N: Halftime heads up! *insert musical intermission* I didn't drag this story on for very long, it's just a few more chapters of goofy fun before the end, because I'm currently invested in writing another Seulrene story that's slightly less unhinged (and slightly more ty!) that this one hahaha. Someday I will just disappear into thin air so I'm trying to only post stories that I've already fully written so I don't leave y'all wondering what might have been *sob, sniff*. I've read too many stories that are never completed and it makes me sad. Anyway, enough rambling, on to the crackshow! Happy 2024, everyone!

 

My inner monologue:

Joohyun: Put it in your mouth.

Irene: No, it's too big.

Joohyun: Whose fault is it that it's so big?

Irene: Your fault.

Joohyun: No, it's your fault.

Irene: No, it's Seulgi's fault.

Joohyun: Okay, everything is Seulgi's fault, but now you have to put it in your mouth. Swallow it.

Irene: I don't want to. It tastes caustic. Like laundry detergent.

Joohyun: How do you know what laundry detergent tastes like?

Irene: It smells so good, you expect me not to take a little nibble out of a Tide pod...

Joohyun: Irene, you either put it in your ing mouth and swallow, or Krystal Jung is going to play Seulgi's abs like a glockenspiel. 
 

Irene: W-with mallets?

Joohyun: With mallets, with chocolate syrup, with her ing teeth, swallow your ing pride. NOW. 
 

I took a deep breath, knocked on Seulgi's dorm room, and waited until the adorable bear answered the door and gave me an eye smile that made the taste of Tide pods in my mouth dissolve and disappear completely. On a beautiful day, without a single cloud, there was nothing left but the scent of fabric softener.
 

She stepped aside to let me in.

“Seulgi.” 

“Joohyun?” 

“You were trying to make me jealous,” I said bluntly.

“N-no, I swear I wasn’t, Hyunnie!” she said defensively. 

I gave her a look. I wasn’t stupid and she knew that.

“It was Lisa’s idea,” she caved, sighing in defeat. “I didn’t want to do it-“

“It worked,” I admitted. 

“It… what?”

“You were right before. We were best friends, and I just walked away from that like it meant nothing.” 

Seulgi was magnanimous enough not to rub it in that I was wrong. Ugh, this bear is so cute I could ride her face int