“Am I an emotional ?” I asked Lisa worriedly. I had never felt weird about my life choices until Irene had listed my romantic rap sheet like that.

“You like the ladies, so what?” Lisa defended. “You have never cheated, or treated your girlfriends badly, right?”

I shook my head. “I’ve just dated a lot because one relationship doesn’t work out, so I move on to the next. Nothing wrong with that, right?”

“Omg, did Irene -shame you?” Yeri gasped. 

I scratched my head. 

“You guys are so full of ,” Rosé interjected.

“Why are you here?” Joy asked.

“Yeah, you don’t live here, you don’t get an opinion,” Jisoo agreed. 

“Lisa doesn’t live here,” Rosé pointed out. 

“She lives here in spirit,” Jisoo answered. 

“She’s the ghost that haunts our dorm room,” Yeri laughed. 

“Guys, c’mon, let’s not turn on each other,” Lisa stopped them. “I invited Rosie here for market research. Look, we all have the same goal of bringing Seulgi and Irene together.”

“That's not my goal. Lisa, you invited me over for pizza,” Rosé accused. 

“Bro, you’re currently eating a slice,” Jisoo pointed out.

“Yeah, from my own dorm room,” Rosé snapped. “It’s gonna run out. I need replacement pizza.” Sound logic. 

“Hey, c’mon, work with us, Rosie, and you’ll get your pizza,” Lisa promised.

“Whatever, you guys are stupid,"  the blonde replied exasperatedly. "Irene didn’t -shame Ddeulgi, okay? She even partook in her tiness.”

“Arguably the only one who fully partook in Seulgi’s tiness since our bear here was apparently a viiiirgin before that night,” Yeri teased. 

“Right, so she doesn’t feel she’s above hitting this iness,” Lisa said thoughtfully, motioning to my body.
 

It felt weird to have my friends discuss my body and my life like this, but I was desperate. I really wanted to fix things with Joohyun. 

“She said I didn’t love her because I made her walk home alone after we had and didn’t text her,” I sheepishly explained. 

“YOU WHAT???” All five other people in the room screamed together and Rosé flung her pizza in the air, which I caught and returned to her. 

“I- I was hurt and confused…” 

“Jesus, you’re not an emotional , Slowgi. You’re a stunted ing moron!” Lisa yelled. “Okay, we gotta do damage control. First, you grovel.”

All heads nodded. 

“Second, you gotta prove her wrong, bud