“Hi, Krystal, this is Irene, my girlfriend,” I announced on the day of the Slushie Chicken friend date IPO. 

I felt myself swell with pride when I saw Joohyun's smug but magnanimous (smugnanimous?) expression. 

Lisa had opted out of attending, feeling like her job was done once Joohyun and I had started dating. She had gone off to conquer new lands and terrorize new people, informing me she was gonna send me an invoice for her professional fee. 

Krystal looked slightly disappointed. Maybe Joohyun was right about her being interested in more than friendship, I could never tell. 

“I hope you guys don’t mind that I invited a friend as well. She’ll be here any minute,” Krystal said after frantically typing on her phone. 

Maybe I was reading the situation wrong if Krystal had invited someone else too. Maybe she was sending me the same signal I was sending her, that I was only interested in friendship.

When Krystal’s friend arrived, Joohyun and I gaped at her in shock. What signal was this?

Jjirit. 

“Tzuyu?” I managed to say. 

“Seulgi?!” I was slightly relieved she looked as dumbfounded as me and Joohyun. 

“Wait, you guys know each other?” Krystal asked, also surprised.

“Yeah, we went to high school together,” I said the same time Tzuyu replied, “We dated.” 

We stared awkwardly at each other. 

“You dated?” Krystal asked to clarify. 

“For like two weeks,” Joohyun answered with an eye-roll. 

“Have you managed to crawl out of the friend zone yet, Irene?” Tzuyu sneered. 

“Have you stopped feeling insecure about my closeness with Seulgi yet?” Joohyun retorted. 

I swallowed thickly and started sliding down into a slump on my seat. Where was a friendly, neighbourhood avalanche when you needed one? 

I looked nervously at Joohyun, who looked like she was ready to reach into Tzuyu’s skull, pull out her brain, and wear it as a hat. She then looked at me expectantly, urging me to say something.

“A-actually, Tzuyu, Irene and I are t-together now,” I managed to stammer.

“Aww, congrats, Ddeulgi,” she said sweetly to me, and then to Joohyun, “Enjoy the taste of my backwash?”

Joohyun considered thoughtfully. “Hmmn… yeah, it tastes something like… not good enough for Seulgi!”

“Yeah, you’re familiar with that taste, aren’t you? You’ve been on that for years. For your information, Irene Bae, I broke up with Seulgi. I rejected her.” 

“Because she wouldn’t sleep with you,” Joohyun snorted. “That’s not rejection, honey, that’s a hissy fit.”

Krystal and I looked helplessly at each other and at the four melting taro slushes on our table.

*

After the disastrous friend date, which made my head hurt but not from brain freeze, I walked Joohyun back to her dorm room. We were quiet the entire time. When we got to her door, I tried to take her hand but she pulled away. 

“Hyun…”

“It’s always gonna be like this, huh?” she asked sadly. 

“We don’t ever have to hang out with Tzuyu again-“

“No, Seulgi, it’s always gonna be just me, alone, like it was all those years I was waiting for my best friend to notice me, like it was the night we slept together, like it was tonight when you just sat there and watched your ex attac