Waking up next to Karina is something I never thought someone has to experience in their life. No, wait. I mean, I’m CLEARLY just exaggerating it because who wouldn’t want to wake up to a softwood-like scent that whiffs every turn you make. I know that because I smell it the moment I turn to catch a glimpse of Karina before gay panicking AGAIN. She has a bed head look, the soft comforter over us engulfing her. I could only see half of her cute face, she looks comfy. I wish I could say more good things about this but NO. As much as Jimin is a cute soft looking baby girl in the morning, she is also a ruthless and selfish son of the devil at night. She whines in her sleep, asking for cuddles. She kicks like a ing horse. She loves nuzzling her head on my neck, cute right? NO. SHE BITES. Is she a ing vampire in her past life? Although… I’d have to admit I did gay panic. I did feel a little hee hee in my tum tum. BUTTERFLIES. I never thought I’d be attracted to violence when all I ever got was love and cuddles from my lovely parents. 

I try to break away from Jimin’s grip on my arm to at least make us both breakfast. The attempt was there, I tell you. One thing I notice about Jimin is, getting close to her means you’ll witness a very very whiny Jiminie. She whines 24 ing 7. Not that I am complaining, cause I do find it cute TO A CERTAIN EXTENT. Is this what I have to get used to? How is this giant more baby than I am? I say this because the attempt turned into a WWE wrestling match with Jimin whining and grumbling. 

“Baby let me GO or no more jagiya for you!” I cast a threat. Her eyes open in an instant, tears forming in her eyes. “No, no, no, no don’t you dare!” I say as Jimin continues to sniffle. I bring her head to the crook of my neck, allowing her to snuggle close. I caress her hair and sigh. “You are absolutely insufferable…” I chuckle. “I swear, I’m more decent when I’m not sick.”

I almost believed her until today. I’m more decent when I’m not sick MY ! Ever since the first day I went to her condo, she’s been bringing me here almost every other week. To… study. Study… How the do I study when she’s been cuddling me up? Not that I’m complaining, no. Don’t get me wrong I love that . I swear to mother Mary (and I’m not even Catholic) that she’s purposely putting her aircondition on turbo. ON TURBO!! When she knows damn well I get cold easily. She’s just doing it to cuddle with me. Yu Jimin you ain’t slick. All you have to do is ask me and I'll give it to you. You silly goose. 

Everything feels like a fever dream. Jimin’s been sweet to me, as friends… you know. Aeri, Ning, Jimin and I hang out for lunch most times. Except when Jimin asks me to eat alone with her or she tutors me with my Korean. She calls it Jimin Time. Such a dork. Even so, it’s always freaking adorable when she asks for time. 

Exhibit A:

Jagimin: ehem ehem…

Jagimin: Mic test~ testing~

JJ (Jeongi Jagi): Do you need something, Jimin? Class is almost over. I should message Ning and Aeri to wait for us at the entrance.

Jagimin: Can you… perhaps… tell them we can you know

JJ: No, I don’t know Jagiya. I’m not a mind reader, silly.

Jagimin: Hnnnggg. Jimin time… 

JJ: J-jimin time?? What’s that? Like you want it to be just us today?

Jagimin: Just us today. Kinda want the puppy all to myself today. Jimin…Time…

JJ: You-

JJ: You selfish giraffe. I’ve been with you all day this week. Might as well just wife me up LOL

Jagimin:  And if I do? Then what?

Jagimin: Oh no… why are you turning red? Is Minjeong sick? HAHAHA 

JJ: Shut up????? But okay. I’m yours today. 

Jagimin: Great! I made a lunch reservation at this restaurant. I’ll meet you there. I just have to pass by something.

JJ: hELLO? What’s the occasion??

Jagimin: just cause~

JJ: ok

So here I am, at a steakhouse that I can barely afford. I’ve been sitting patiently, fiddling with whatever game that’s on my phone. What’s taking Jimin so long? I can’t stand the stares of the waiters here. I feel judged. I can afford your steak okay?! Barely! “Hello! Good afternoon, Maam. We noticed you’ve been sitting there for around 25 minutes now. May I take your order? If not, I’m afraid we have to ask you to leave for other customers to occupy this table.” the waiter politely intrudes my thoughts. “O-oh. Okay I’ll order now.” God their steak is expensive. I honestly have the patience for waiting when necessary but it pisses me off when plans aren’t going as I’d hope for. Like this lunch. Jimin made reservations and made me dress pretty, for what? For her to not come? A medium rare steak arrives while the seat in front of me is still empty. Sigh. I hate this. 

*on call 

Jagimin: Hello? Jagi? I’m stuck in traffic. Have you ordered? I'm so sorry I had some unforeseen circumstances. And I- 

JJ: Don’t jagi me when you’re 50 minutes late now. I’m very pissed, Jimin. And yes, I have ordered. I’m going home after I finish this overpriced steak and starve the next week. And traffic?? It’s literally walking distance from your condo Jimin. 

Jagimin: I- I’m sorry. I’ll pay for your steak! We can- (God I didn’t know the traffic here is so bad, *Someone butts in)

JJ: Who the is with you? 

Jagimin: Minjeong, I-

JJ: Why are you late? Be honest right now.

Jagimin: You know a-about Jaemin, right? The guy who won’t stop courting me even if I’ve rejected him on all his attempts? (Hey, that’s mean Jagiya) I told you not to call me that, ever Jae.

Jagiya??? Breathe Minjeong. There will be an explanation. It’s Jimin anyway. I take a deep sigh, as if letting the heaviness in my chest go. 

JJ: Mhm. The guy from Korea. What about him?

Jimin: Well, he looked for me. I didn’t know he was flying here today. He called my mom when he landed so my mom called me to pick him up. I swear Minjeong I didn’t mean to make you wait. I couldn’t check my phone too cause I was in a hurry driving and we got–

JJ: Ok. Well, I’m done with my steak. No need to pay me. Thanks for the reservation. Bye-

Jimin: Ja- 

*end call 

I should’ve known all these feel-good weeks were coming to something that will leave a sour taste. I feel offended, having to wait in a fancy restaurant with a reservation for two. Is it valid? To be mad? To not want to talk to Jimin for a while? Or am I overreacting? I know it was something she can’t control. Unforeseen circumstances… I shouldn’t be angry right? But I really am. I’m mad and sad. And what the hell is that Jaemin doing here? How many rejections does he need?? Jesus ing christ. Another sigh left my system as I walked back to my dorm. 

It’s been 3 days since the restaurant issue. I’ve been living off of free bananas in the dorm because really, that steak’s price was worth 5 days of cafeteria food. Jimin’s been trying to reach me. I know because she kept trying to find ways for me to acknowledge her presence. 

She’s been buying me lunch ever since Ningning spilled the beans to Jimin, about me just eating bananas all day. Is it mean? That I reject it and have that Jaemin guy eat it instead? Am I being petty? Am I allowed to be petty? 

5 days pass and Jimin’s visibly slumping. She looks like she hasn't slept for a year. It’s taken a toll on me too. I really miss her. So I wrote a note on a paper I ripped off of my notebook. “Have you been crying?” I passed it to Jimin waiting for her reaction. After she read it, she looked up at me with a pout and tears forming in her eyes. Sigh, my jagi. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I made you wait at an expensive restaurant and you were only eating bananas. I was worried about you. I really apologize Jeongie. I hope you can forgive me.” Jimin replies while I hear her sigh her way out from crying. Maybe I have been cruel. Maybe she did not deserve that treatment when it really wasn’t her intention to have me wait. God, I’m such a . 

“I’m sorry for rejecting your food. I’m sorry for how I acted. I forgive you, I hope you can forgive me too…  🙁   <3, MJ” I reply. She smiled at me softly and reached for my hand under our desks. First, it was hesitant until I mustered up the courage to just have our hands intertwined without wasting a second. “Jagi…” She whispers with her eyes to the professor. “Jagi” I sigh with relief, as I feel her squeeze my hand.

We're like this but we aren't even girlfriends... Just girl-friends! Totally normal. This is just a cute, affectionate, and loving friendship. Completely normal for the straights right? My phone suddenly lights up. Huh, a message from Ning?

Ningbear: you fight like your girlfriends, which you are nOT btw! Just reminding you... Get your head out of the gutter and get ur together bestie. hihi~ Ning, out! loveu!

Of course, just when we're holding hands she sends me a reminder that Jimin and I are merely lovers and more of just friends. I'm gonna HIHI-WHOOP YOUR . Let the lesbian breathe. I cry.