For a month, I and Chan were essentially celebrities. Everyone discussed us. Everyone talked about it. I tried to forget it. I tried to move past it. Even when I saw Jungwon in Biology. I tried my best to ignore the urge to scream at him, to beg him to pay attention to me. We could start over. We didn’t have to do whatever part of the hot and cold routine we were in. Jungwon wasn’t thinking that I guess. He ignored me. No matter what I did there was nothing from him. The whole class turned into me staring at him as he stared out the window. I did not understand. Isn’t this what he wanted? Last night I realized that he’s right. I should just be grateful. I shouldn’t be trying to loom whatever powers he had over his head. 

Thanks to him I’m alive. That should be all that matters.

Jimin when I saw her next, made me aware of another thing that could ruin me beyond whatever Jungwon was doing to me. There was apparently a tradition in the school of kids in our year to throw a party or something. It started on Valentine’s Day so it became a tradition for girls to invite guys instead of giving chocolates. Jimin told me it was kind of like the school dances in America. I mostly zoned out as she talked about the finer details. I just nodded my head to show that I was listening.

“Are you sure? You’re not gonna get mad at me later, are you?”

“No. I’m not even going Jimin. What would I even do there?”

Her half-hearted attempt almost made me smile. “But it’ll be so much fun. Not to mention boring without you.”

“Jimin… have fun with Changbin.”

“You think he’d go with me?” I smiled brightly hearing her giggle as she spoke. Jimin was really pretty when she spoke about Changbin. She hugged me tight. My beaming smile doesn’t fade for the rest of the night.

The next day Jimin wasn’t her usual self in class. Did things not go well with asking him? Oh no. Did someone else ask out Changbin? Oh God. I would happily murder whoever I needed for Jimin to get her crush. All I needed was a name.

Everything clicked when we sat down at lunch. Jimin didn’t take the spot between Changbin and me. In fact, she sat so far away from me and for one reason. Seo Changbin. He had taken the seat right next to me. I gripped my drink a bit too tight. It took everything in my power not to smack him. Changbin ignored me since he was locked deep in conversation with Yongbok. I could not tell you for the life of me what they were talking about but they were talking.

I couldn’t stop Changbin from following me after lunch ended. He stayed quiet the whole time. I took my seat in Biology waiting for him to confess or him to go to his seat. Changbin sat on my desk. I could feel eyes on me. Most likely Jungwon’s eyes. After all, Changbin wasn’t just sitting on my desk. Me and Jungwon shared this desk.

"So," Changbin said, looking at the floor, "Jimin asked me to go to the party."

“Okay. Cool. You guys have fun.”

"Well… Uh…" He coughs. "I told her… that I had to think about it."

I let disapproval seep into my words. "Why would you do that?"

"I was wondering if... well... ifyou might be planning to ask me." His face turned bright red.

Movement in the corner of my eye reminded me that Jungwon was still next to us. If he wasn’t used to being around people then he was likely uncomfortable with Changbin right here as well. So there’s also him somehow affected now…

“Go tell her yes.”

“D-did you ask someone?”

“No.” I rolled my eyes at how excited he got. “I’m not even going. Just go tell Jimin yes.”

“Why aren’t you going?” Changbin demanded.

I couldn’t help the glare. I lied, "I'm going to Seoul that Saturday.”

"Can't you go another weekend?"

“I said I’m not going. I’m going to Seoul.” I said. “Changbin, if you don’t hurry up then Jimin might find someone more eager to take her. Wouldn’t that be so awful?”

"Yeah, you're right," he mumbled.

Once Changbin went to his seat, I closed my eyes taking a deep breath. Maybe if I massage my forehead enough I’d forget about this very dumb love triangle I’m seemingly stuck in. I had to open my eyes as Mr. Byun began talking. There in the corner of my eye, I noticed that Jungwon was staring at me. His black eyes held a curiosity I couldn’t understand. Why was he looking at me like that? Jungwon continued to look at me with such intense curiosity.

"Mr. Cha?" the teacher called.

"The Krebs Cycle," Jungwon answered. 

Well . I wasn’t even aware that Mr. Byun had asked a question. I need to stop this. The Jimin Changbin situation was enough trouble without focusing on this guy. The moment Jungwon looked away I made my eyes go to my textbook. I made my hair move so there was no way I could see him out of the corner of my eye. I tried very hard to ignore him or at least try not to let him know how aware of him I was for the rest of the class. Once the bell sounded I tried my best to grab my things. I would be the dramatic one to leave him in the dust this time.

"Miyoung?" His voice shouldn't have been so familiar to me.

My hand paused mid-air. And against my better judgement, I turned slowly. I knew what happens when I look at him yet here I was. Doing just that. Turning to look at him. His expression was unreadable but he didn't say anything.

"What? Are you speaking to me again?”

His lips twitched as if fighting a smile. "No, not really."

"Then what do you want, Jungwon?" I asked.

"I'm sorry." He almost sounded sincere. “It’s really rude of me, I know. But it really is better this way.”

“I swear to God if you stopped me to tell me not to be your friend—”

"It's better if we're not friends," he explained. "Trust me."

“Oh my ing God.” I hissed through my teeth. “You could have saved us all a bunch of time and whatever this is. Regret or whatever.” My hand waved to gesture to all of his person.

"Regret?" His coal-black eyes widened. "Regret for what?"

“I don’t know. For not just letting that stupid van squish me—”

He stared at me in disbelief. "You think I regret saving you?"

"Oh I know you do," I snapped.

"You don't know anything."

“Oh, now you think you have the right to be mad. Did I ignore you? Did I try to befriend you and then scream at you for my attempts? No. Next time… don’t bother.”

I gathered my books together so I could leave. I mean like sweep dramatically out of the room type leave. However, I tripped over the air somehow. Luckily only my books fell to the floor not me. I stood there for a moment hating myself and debating just setting them on fire. There’s no way I can do that so I sighed and bent to pick them up. Jungwon was there in my face handing me my books before I could truly understand what just happened.

"Thank you," I said icily.

"You're welcome," he retorted.

I took my books and stormed off to gym class. We’d moved to basketball and I loved that my teammates learned to not let me touch the ball. The problem was I fell down a lot. Even take some people with me at times. I tried to concentrate on my feet but Jungwon kept appearing in my head. I was so happy when it came time to leave. When I turned the corner I almost had a seeing a guy leaning against the wall. It took a second for me to realize it was Yongbok. I tried to quickly start walking the other way.

"Hey, Yongbok," I called.

"Hi, Miyoung."

"What's up?" I said.

"Uh, I was just wondering... if you would go to the party with me?" His voice broke on the last word.

"I thought it was girls' choice," I said.

"Well, yeah," he stuttered with his voice trailing off.

My smile warm. "Thank you for asking me but I'm going to be in Seoul that day."

"Oh," he said. "Well, maybe next time."

"Sure," I agreed. I honestly meant it this time. If I had to go with someone who wasn’t Jungwon then I honestly I’d pick someone like Yongbok. He wasn’t ugly by any means. Yongbok is quite handsome. I just typically went to things like that with gay guys or girls.

I heard a low chuckle that I had a feeling could be only one person, Jungwon. 

Of course, it was. 

He’d been watching me with Yongbok. Jungwon could have saved me and didn’t. I made my way to the spot where I usually waited for my usual taxi. My precious bongo that I’d only had a chance to drive once, needed repairs. Jungkook used his nearly weekly trip to the house with Jinyoung to work on repairing it. I was trying to call a taxi when Jungwon’s shiny Volvo darted out in front of me. I glared at him. I kicked his stupid car’s bumper and I could see him laughing at me. Before I could do much more I heard Chan’s voice shouting at me. He’s standing next to me when I finished the call.

"I just wanted to ask you something" He grinned. There was only time to put away my phone before he continued, "Will you ask me to the party?"

"I'm not going to be in town, Chan." My voice sounded a little sharp. Even to me. I knew that it wasn’t Chan’s fault that Jungwon was a crazy person. He didn’t do anything to upset me. Today.

"Yeah, Changbin said that," he admitted.

"Then why—"

He shrugged. "I was hoping you were just letting him down easy."

Okay. Scratch that.

"Sorry, Chan," I snapped. "I really am going out of town."

"That's cool. There are other parties." Chan spoke then turned around walking back to his car. Did he think he was king charisma or something? …okay he has a nice .

Movement in the corner of my eye stole my attention from Chan’s . All the Cha siblings; Boyoung, Dahee, Shownu, and Hanse, were sliding into Jungwon’s Volvo. Given how he’d darted out to nearly run me over earlier I could see him… staring at me. Jungwon looked like he was shaking. Almost as if… Was that bastard laughing at me? There is no way he heard me and Chan talking so maybe his siblings were telling him jokes or something…

When I got home, I decided to make fried chicken for dinner. I vaguely remembered something about Jaeduck saying he liked it or something. Not to mention that the process would take a long time so it would keep me busy. It would keep me out of my head. My phone chose the moment my hand was covered in batter and raw chicken juices to ring. I was almost afraid to answer it. It might be Jaeduck or my mom.

Thank God! It’s Jimin. She sounded so happy. Jimin told me all about how Changbin had accepted her invitation. Jimin told me that she was gonna call our other friends; Ari & Dambi. An idea came to me. I mentioned that Yongbok and Chan didn’t seem to have people asking them. Maybe, possibly… Ari could ask Yongbok and Dambi can ask Chan. That way Jimin wouldn’t be alone at this party after all.

She thought that was a good idea.

It kind of hurt hearing how sincere she sounded wishing that I could go too. I almost broke and told her the truth. When Jimin let me go I focused on the chicken. Jaeduck didn’t need to meet me in the emergency room. 

My mind gradually moved toward Jungwon. What was his problem? Why did he have to be such an if he didn’t want to be around me? I mean it’s not that hard to ignore someone. Jimin made it clear that the Cha siblings were doing that just fine before me. Why is he acting like it’s a big deal now? Is it cause of the whole van thing? I’ve mostly forgotten it. There was only one reason I could think of that made sense. 

Jungwon must not want to lead me on. So we couldn't even be friends because he wasn't interested in me at all. Of course, he wasn't interested in me. My eyes stung. I told myself it was the spice in the breading messing with my eyes. I wasn't interesting. Jungwon was. 

Interesting. Brilliant. Mysterious. Perfect. Beautiful. And possibly able to lift full-sized vans with one hand…

That’s fine. I could do it. I could leave him alone. No. I would leave him alone. I would do good in school and then go get a scholarship where I wouldn’t be a bother to Jaeduck or mom. Somewhere sunny and warm. Somewhere that looked like a paradise.

Jaeduck seemed suspicious when he came home. I forget he didn’t truly know the extent of my cooking skills. I guess he thought my attempt at fried chicken would be a mess or that we’d have to order out. After the first bite, Jaeduck seemed to relax. I may not understand Korean spices but I knew how to make fried chicken. After all, I did grow up in America. They tend to fry everything over there and I do mean everything.

"Dad?" I asked when he was almost done.

"Yeah?"

"Um… I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to Seoul for the day next Saturday... if that's okay with you?”

"Why?" He sounded surprised.

"Well, I wanted to get a few books. The library here is pretty limited and maybe some clothes."

“You’re gonna take a bus to do all that? Did you get enough cash for that? Cause you’ve got just a bit longer till you can drive that truck out there.”

Oh . I forgot Jungkook wasn’t done with the bongo. Don’t let him see I forgot. I can do this. “I’ll be very frugal. Promise.”

"Are you going all by yourself?" he asked.

“Of course I am. Everyone else is too busy at that party thing.”

He tilted his head. “You don’t wanna go?”

“Oh no. I’d just trip over everything or knock everyone over.”

Jaeduck was about to argue but nodded his head. I guess he thought about it for a moment. He told me about his day. It was far more interesting than my homework. So I let him talk. Jaeduck can really tell a story. I didn’t realize I fell asleep until I woke up the following morning in my bed. Next to my bed was a glass of water with a note under it. It almost looked like someone had written words then erased then wrote then erased multiple times.

Eat a proper meal before you go so you can get good grades. 

I smile softly, “Love you too Dad.”

As I stepped onto the parking lot mentally preparing myself for Jungwon. I would do what I was supposed to. I’m going to ignore Jungwon. I’ll listen to his wishes. My phone slipped from my hand. Before I could get it Jungwon was there picking it up for me.

"How do you do that?" I asked.

"Do what?" He held my phone out as he spoke. As I reached for it, he placed it into my palm.

"Appear out of thin air."

"Miyoung, it's not my fault if you don’t pay attention to anything but that silly little brick.” His voice was quiet as usual.

I scowled at his perfect face. His eyes were gold again today. A deep golden honey color.

"So why did you try to run me over Mister Savior? I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don't exist, not irritating me to death.”

“Oh. Nothing personal. I had to give him his chance. ”

“ you.”

"And I'm not pretending you don't exist," he continued.

“So what… annoy me to death? Irritate me till I drop?” I pointed my finger in his face. “And you say that you don’t regret saving me. Damn. All this cause Chan's van didn't do the job?"

His lips pressed into a hard line, all signs of humor gone. His voice cold, "Miyoung, you are utterly absurd.”

“Ha. What’s absurd is you going out of your way to befriend me and then telling me I shouldn’t be your friend. Tell me one moment where I tried to befriend you. One moment where I reached out to you… you can’t.” Once I finished saying my piece I turned and left him standing there. Or so I thought. Jungwon followed me.

"Wait," he called. 

I didn’t.

"I'm sorry, that was rude," he said as we walked. "I'm not saying it isn't true," he continued, "but it was rude to say it, anyway."

"Why won't you leave me alone?" I grumbled.

"I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me," he chuckled.

"Do you have a multiple personality disorder?" I asked.

"You're doing it again."

"Ask me if I care."

"I was wondering if.. a week from Saturday… you know, the day of the party⎼"

"Are you trying to be funny?" I wheeled toward him.

His eyes amused. "Will you please allow me to finish?"

I tried my best to stay still. It’s clear if I moved I might actually punch him.

"I heard you say you were going to Seoul that day and I was wondering if you wanted a ride."

What the… What was he trying to pull? There’s no way that Jungwon really was offering to do this with how things are between us.

"Do you want a ride to Seoul?"

"With who?" I asked.

"Myself, obviously." He enunciated every syllable.

I was stunned. "Why?"

"Well, I was planning to go to Seoul in the next few weeks, and to be honest, it’s sad seeing you take a taxi everywhere."

"I have a car. Thank you very much for your concern." I started to walk again.

"But can your car even start? Did it get crushed pretty bad?" He matched my pace again.

"I don't see how that is any of your business."

"It’s a waste of resources which makes it everyone's business."

"Honestly, Jungwon." I felt a thrill go through me as I said his name, and I hated it. "If I wanted to be your friend I would have approached you first. I did not. You have said that you don’t want my friendship far too many times for me to count. Whatever you’re pulling I’m not—”

"I said it would be better if we weren't friends. Not that I didn't want to be."

"Oh, thanks, now that's all cleared up." I realized I had stopped walking again. So I could more easily look at his stupid, beautiful face.

“It’d be better… for you not to be my friend. But… I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Miyoung.” His golden eyes were so intense as he spoke. I couldn't remember how to breathe. 

What the heck was going on…

"Will you go with me to Seoul?" he asked.

I couldn't speak yet, so I just nodded. Wait did I just nod? Why did I agree? I’d refused all other guys, why am I doing what Jungwon wants? He smiled briefly and then his face became serious. Why are we changing moods so quickly again? What just happened?

"You really should stay away from me," he warned. "I'll see you in class."

He turned suddenly and walked back the way we'd come.

I couldn’t help but scream