CHAPTER FOUR

Two weeks later, I noticed Sooyoung was kind of haggard. Tiredness finally set in, not just for her. Unfortunately, our vocalist seemed to be the most affected. The quality of her performance was visibly affected, slowly dropping. Nothing that affected the shows. She still gave blood and sweat every night. For someone who has never seen her sing, she would be fine. The boys were also maintaining an acceptable level, only they were making more and more mistakes on the stage. And I was getting more and more stressed every day. I felt like a nanny who never got a vacation, the babysitter who would go to the luxury resort along with the rich family to continue babysitting without taking a sip of a sweet cocktail.

Offstage it was more evident how the routine on the road was affecting us. Our conversations got shorter and shorter. No one wanted to talk after the gig. Nor during the journey between one destination and another, where we used to spend time talking or teasing each other. Now, the silence was accompanied by the van's engine and the music on the radio. Which made time seem to pass two, or three times slower. There was one time when Sooyoung just laid her head on my shoulder and slept the entire trip. It didn't even bother me because I think I slept too.

This problem was yet another thing he needed to address.

We stopped at a gas station with had a convenience store attached. The place also had a steakhouse restaurant and a parking lot. I asked the boys to go ahead so I could talk to Sooyoung in the parking lot in front of the restaurant's windows. Whatever we were going to do in the next days, it wasn't something I was going to decide on my own. After all, the vocalist was the leader and the one who gave the final word. In the current scenario, she just needs to believe that a break was in fact her idea, not mine.

"How are you feeling today?" I asked hoping for the best.

“I think I have a cold or something.”

I took a deep breath, a little relieved. It wasn't a medical diagnosis, but it was better than her telling me she had symptoms of something more serious.

“Do you need to go to the hospital or is this a situation where some meds will do?”

“Can we go to a pharmacy in the next town and buy an anti-inflammatory? My throat is scratching a little.”

I stretched my arms to reach Sooyoung's neck. My hands lightly felt the sides of her neck, trying to feel if there was anything abnormal as if I could give a diagnosis. I tried to do what real doctors did to me when a cold hit me during the change of seasons.

It was a little difficult to look at her face, to see if she expressed any pain at my touch because our size difference put me at an unfavorable angle. Sooyoung's face was pale, her skin tone was almost the same as mine, and her cheeks were a little rosy. She looked like a sick Snow White. I was going to buy some fever medicine, just in case, and vitamin D too.

“Sure, we can do that,” and now it was time to try another path for our tour. “Or you can rest for a few days.”

"No!" she shook her head several times, my hands automatically returning to my body. "I am fine!"

“It's not just you, Sooyoung,” I tried to make my voice soft, I didn't want her to think that this decision was made only because of her. “The boys need a break too. I need a break. Being on the road for months is not easy. All we do is get in the kombi, go out to play, get in the kombi again, get into a hotel to sleep, and get in the kombi one more time. It's brutal.”

"It ."

“Yeah…and don't get me started on our bathroom breaks in the middle of the road. We have to schedule ourselves to go to the bathroom, for God's sake!" I said trying to keep the mood. “I hate it and I know you do too.”

"I do! But we always have the option of doing it on the side of the road, as the boys do.”

“And let everyone see my ? No, thank you! Only you have that privilege of sharing a real bathroom with me.”

That's right. Some things bothered me, holding pee for hours was at the top. Always sitting in the middle seat was bad. It got worse when the day was hot because there is no air conditioning in our wonderful vehicle. Washing clothes in the hotel bathroom and putting them to dry behind the minibar or in front of the room's air conditioning, I still don't know how Taeyong makes his clothes smell so good. There were other little things here and there, but they were things I knew would happen on a trip like this and I volunteered anyway.

"What do you suggest?"

My suggestion was that Sooyoung go to the hospital, to make sure it was just a cold and nothing more serious. I would also suggest staying a week in a five-star hotel facing the sea with crystal clear waters. Spending the entire day at a spa, having someone give me a massage and I would fall asleep as my entire body relaxed. After that, I would have some coconut or mango smoothies, and eat fried shrimp with my feet buried in the sand. Then, I would go to my room, where I would take a warm shower. But first, I would go to the bedroom balcony to look at the starry sky. Finally, I would lie down in my king-size bed and sleep soundly, and do it all over again the next day.

Too bad we can't afford that right now.

“Two days…or until you feel better,” Sooyoung was ready to interrupt me, surely to point out, once again, that we didn't have to do this just for her. “If you can't sing, I'll have to take your place.”

"Do you sing?" she crie