CHAPTER THREE

I always had the instinct to protect something or someone I liked, to put the welfare of others before my own. I think that was one of the things I inherited from my mother, who was always overprotective of me. Despite texting my mom every day, she still thought I was under-communicating. Now I think she would have the nerve to put me in a cage when she got home. Especially since she thinks I didn't want to come home anymore.

She thought my adventure with the band would last a few weeks, a month at most. I'm sure she thought I was kidding when I said I took this semester off from college like I was going to come home before classes started.

Every time she wanted to discuss my college situation, she called. Talking to text messages wasn't enough. When she was nervous, she would video call because looking into her eyes would be more intimidating. I couldn't help feeling that she was being unfair to me, because I didn't think about staying more than a semester with them... until she put the idea in my head. According to my mother, if you drop one semester, you might as well drop out two semesters. If you drop two, you could drop out of college altogether and have wasted all those years studying. That was her thinking.

And the idea was starting to look tempting. Very, very tempting. Not just because I'm having fun on the road, despite some stressful situations. The biggest incentive was herself, my mother. It got more and more suffocating when she asked me to come back. It felt like I was a rebellious teenager running away from home. No matter how much I told her that this little deviation in my plans had an end date, she didn't trust my word. What made me upset, I never broke what I promised. I never broke the trust she had in me. I was always the perfect daughter who did everything right.

No matter what I say, it doesn't enter her head that I want to finish my degree. I like administration. I also like public relations. That's why I decided to take classes on both courses, increasing my time at university by two years. It was a decision outside the environment I grew up in. My father is a chef and my mother works in animal rehabilitation at the zoo in Incheon. I have to say that cooking is not my strong point, and I'm afraid of animals. I liked organizing things, managing everything around me, planning all the steps, and ensuring everyone was happy.

It was exactly what I was doing with the band.

“Mom, would you listen to me for a minute?” I asked in vain.

I had to leave the room so as not to bother Sooyoung with the call. We had just got back from breakfast and were taking a little break before hitting the road again.

“I don't understand why you're throwing your life away, Joohyun,” I couldn't believe what she said.

What was I doing to make her think I was “throwing my life away”? From what I was feeling, that was the exact opposite. I've never felt as happy as I've been feeling these last few months.

I sat on the floor in the hall not far from the bedroom. I took a few deep breaths as my mom continued talking on the other end of the line. Honestly, I didn't absorb anything she said. That statement was strong, her words still ring in my ears.

“Do you think I'm on drugs or something?” I had to ask, interrupting what she was saying. “Is that what you are so worried about? Is that why you think I'm throwing my life away?"

Maybe it wasn't the smartest thing to question that. Because she was furious. Drugs? Big problem. If the word drug was in my mouth, it meant her precious little girl was using drugs. I'm not, just to be clear. But it was the only thing that made sense in my head. Maybe she thinks being in a rock band automatically means doing drugs.

, drugs, and rock 'n' roll... right? The phrase is famous for not being wrong.

My mom's voice was so loud it sounded like she was on speakerphone. She screamed things like “I can't believe it”, “I'll come and get you” and “Your father will know about this”. My favorite was “What did I do to deserve this?”.

Very good. Everything a daughter needs to hear from her mother.

That's what made me react. I got tired of the way she treated me. I came back with the phone next to my face and said “When you start treating me like an adult, we can talk properly,” I didn't wait for an answer, I just hung up.

I took a few deep breaths, rubbing my forehead with the hand that was still holding the phone. My head was starting to throb. The day had barely started and I already wanted to go back to sleep.

when I was ready to get up, I noticed that I wasn't alone in the hallway. The boys were squeezed in the bedroom door, they didn't know whether to stay there or come to meet me. While Sooyoung approached with silent steps. Or maybe I was so focused on myself that I didn't even hear her coming.

“Are you OK?" Sehun asked from afar.

I wondered if Aunt Yoojung was as strict as my mother.

I responded by nodding, unsure if my voice would come out. I was fine and at the same time, I wasn't. I think it was the first time I had argued with my mother like that. Without a doubt, it was the first time I hung up on her. But I won't apologize. At least not now. She must be spitting fire at home. Better to let things cool down a bit. It will be better for her and for me too.

The best I could do now was to continue doing what I had been doing for the last few months. I had something to discuss with the band. That's why I asked them to stay in the hall. Lately, I've been thinking about