CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Kim Yerim, or Yeri to the most intimate people, is the closest thing I have to a daughter. When I knew her, she was just a newborn baby who had just gotten out of the hospital. And an almost six-year-old Joohyun was enchanted by the living, breathing doll wrapped in a pink blanket inside the elevator in our building. I didn't “practically raise her”, I actually raised her from the moment I was old enough to keep with her alone.

It also meant that I had a daughter as a teenager, without going through pregnancy or the act of generating a fetus. When Yeri was tall enough to press the elevator button, she always showed up at my house alone. She was with me the whole time. Ever. And I loved it. I made her snacks, helped her with her homework, and made sure her uniform smelled fresh and ironed. I'm not sure how I survived high school with this extra work taking up part of the time I should have been studying.

I panicked when she asked me about love, specifically how babies were made. I stammered and tried to explain as educationally as possible. I wasn't ready to watch my baby grow up and break some hearts. She just laughed at me and my explanation, saying that she had already learned that at school and just wanted to see me embarrass myself. My little girl grew up to be a brat. Kim Yerim was loving, caring, and smart too. But she was savage, she was always up to something, most of the time to make her laugh, most of the time at other people's expense.

So, I shouldn't be surprised to see Kim Yerim sitting on our couch in Huam-dong, casually chatting with Sooyoung as if they've been friends for years. Yeri will always find a way.

That Sunday I woke up later than usual thanks to the exhaustion of a double shift. One of my colleagues asked me to cover for him, so I stayed from 9 in the morning until 10 p.m. surrounded by chickens. If I had known that Yeri would show up at our house that day, I would have also made her a feast for lunch – even though I was supposed to have lunch with Wendy.

She looked so big as if the months of not seeing her had made her go through the growth phase once again. Which wasn't true. Yeri was still the same size as me and still had a baby face. What changed, however, was the hairstyle. What was once long and honey blonde was now a dark brown cut just above the shoulder. The last time I saw her was on the day of the trip to Gokseong, we exchanged Christmas gifts while I checked the things in my backpack. Neither of us imagined that I wouldn't come home a week later.

We hugged, screamed, and jumped. God! I missed my little brat. I was about to say it outright when Yeri beat me to it and said, “You missed my birthday,” because that was the most important thing she had to say right now.

"What are you talking? I called you on the day,” I replied loosening our hug and peeking at Sooyoung still sitting on the couch with a soft smile looking at us.

“You should take me out drinking since I'm of legal age,” she countered with a pout, releasing me completely to cross her arms in front of her chest.

“Are you really going to ignore that we’ve already had drinks together dozens of times?” I asked also crossing my arms.

It wasn't something I should be proud of, as in the eyes of the law I was corrupting a minor by offering alcohol. But I'd rather do that, let Yeri drink a few shots of soju in the safety of my home, rather than wondering if she was in some dark alley sharing suspicious booze with even more suspicious company.

"Well, no. That's the only advantage of you being an old lady,” she replied with a typical smile when she said something to irritate me. “It’s not about the drink, it’s about the company. I can finally hang out with you like an adult, without feeling like a burden to you.”

“Yah!” I shouted softly, ready to spit my words at top speed in a tone that could be mistaken for a scolding. “Then let’s do it! Let’s find a bar and drink somaek until you pass out!”

“Joohyunnie, it’s 10 a.m. now, what kind of life have you led that you want to drink at this hour?” That comment made Sooyoung laugh and Yeri smiled proudly. “Now I understand why Granny is so pissed with you.”

Granny was my mother, the first person to point out that Yeri looked like a daughter to me. I think she reaped what she sowed because my daughter never called her anything else after that. It didn't matter to Kim Yerim if she was being respectful to someone older, ignoring honorifics, that thing would last a lifetime. To be honest, my mother and I didn't care about it.

“Kim Yerim, how did you know where to find me?” I asked suddenly noticing that I never gave her my address. She knew I was in Seoul; she was one of the few friends who knew that.

Yeri was the first person I talked to about my decision to go on tour with the band. She didn't believe it. I had to send her photos proving that I was traveling the country in a van with four semi-strangers.

The girl took her time to sit back down on the couch. She was stalling, biding her time. That meant I wouldn't like her next words. “I just, you know... looked at the spy app that shows me your location,” she avoided looking at me.

“A what now?”

“Joohyunnie, I already told you not to click on suspicious links,” she would try to lecture me about the dangers of the internet. According to her, I was very innocent in that aspect. “Didn’t you find it strange that I sent you a link to a website that only showed a photo of an ugly pudding?”

“It was a link you sent! Shouldn’t I trust you?” I asked in disbelief. She had sent me that link in February!

“Yeah! You should be twice as careful with me. How do you not know that?” she commented even more incredulously than me. That, however, didn't last long because she had another priority. “I'm turning down your proposal to drink now, but that only means I'm putting it off until you go back to Incheon. There's this new karaoke place you need to go to with me. You’re going to rap the out with me and then we-”

“Kim Yerim!” This time I interrupted her resentfully. I could tolerate her being informal, but I wouldn't accept her swearing and she knew that.

But I also stopped her because she said an almost forbidden word. Incheon. Where my real home was. I looked at Sooyoung once again, she still seemed to be enjoying the entertainment the two of us were bringing that morning. Sooyoung didn't know that Yeri was already preparing a welcome party for me. And knowing my friend, I knew it was only a matter of time before she talked about this party in front of Sooyoung.

“Sooyoung, can I talk to you in my room for a second?” She looked at me confused but got up from the couch anyway. I looked toward Yeri and said, “Don’t you dare get up from that couch.”

She gave me an innocent look, but I knew she would do as I said. Meanwhile, I followed Sooyoung to my room, letting her go in first so I could make sure the door was closed. She turned to me and smiled, remaining in the center of the room.

“You have a strange individual over there. Now I know how you managed to put up with the four of us.”

“She’s rough, but she’s a good kid.”

“You sound like an old lady,” she commented showing me a teasing smile, much like Yeri's to my chagrin.

“Sooyoung-ah,” this wasn’t how I wanted to have this conversation. Honestly, I didn't know how I wanted to have this conversation. I certainly didn't want it to be in a hurry because my other friend has a loose tongue. “I don't like to dawdle, so I'm just... I will return to my home.”

Sooyoung's jaw clenched in the same way she always did when she heard something she didn't like, her brow furrowed slightly. She looked away from me, looking around the empty room. There was nothing there to hold her attention, but she found something and refused to look at me.

“I thought staying here would be the right thing to do,” I continued. If she didn't want to look at me, I would be content knowing that she was at least listening to me, “But I was infected by the band's energy. I wan