I try to be the best mom to Luna. And I’d like to think that I’m doing a good job at raising her. Winter has also been a very good partner and co-parent and what we have right now is working. 

Parenting-wise, Winter still leans and asks for my opinion a lot. I get it naman kasi ayaw niya akong pangunahan sa mga desisyon when it comes to Luna. Pero alam niya rin na may say siya. However, kapag hindi ko naman gusto yung way niya, we can always talk about it. Ang goal namin dalawa is for Luna to grow up healthy and be a good person.

As a parent, I always want the best for Luna. Kahit ano pa yan, as long as it’s good for her, I try to give it to her. One thing that I’ve always tried to do since I became a mom is putting Luna’s comfort first, especially sa mga ayaw niyang gawin. And now that Luna is beginning to have her own thinking and understanding, mas binibigyan ko talaga ng importance ang mga ayaw niyang gawin. Kasi kahit toddler pa lang si Luna, hindi naman ibig sabihin nun na hindi niya alam kung anong comfortable sa kanya.

Growing up, I used to think that I would raise my child like how my parents raised me. Pero nag-iba lahat as I became an adult. Hindi naman sa pangit yung pagpapalaki ng parents ko, I’m actually lucky that even though strict ang parents ko, they never failed to show their love and care. And I don’t blame them for the way they raised me. Yun lang din naman ang natutunan nila from their parents. Pero it doesn’t mean na yung parenting style nila was all that healthy. 

Kaya ako, I’m breaking that cycle. 

Alam ko marami ang makakarelate sa akin when I say that parents used the fear tactic para lang masunod sila. Well, I think that’s wrong and actually traumatic sa mga bata. When I took psychology in college, doon ko talaga natutunan how important it is to keep our children’s mental health healthy. At doon ko din narealize how toxic my upbringing was. I wasn’t abused or anything but the fact that I was pressured to do good in everything para matuwa ang parents ko is kind of crazy. And yung fear tactic nga na ginamit nila noon was just not healthy. Kaya naman growing up, I was scared of my parents and I was scared of making mistakes.

I don’t want that for Luna. 

As much as possible, ayokong matakot si Luna sa akin at kay Winter. I know how frightening it was to even ask for permission para lumabas and do things children do dahil ayaw mong madisappoint at magalit sila. It also created trust issue sa parents ko when I was a teen. I had a lot of secrets. Hindi ako nagsasabi sa kanila about my feelings kasi nahihiya ako at natatakot na hindi nila ako maintindihan. 

I want Luna to trust me. I want Luna to know that she can be a child. I want Luna to not be scared to make mistakes. I want Luna to tell me how she feels para matulungan ko siya sa mga problema niya. I want her to know that I will always be by her side and on her side at kahit magkamali man siya, okay lang kasi it’s honestly not the end of the world. At whatever she decides for herself, as long as nakakabuti sa kanya, I will support her all the way. 

Winter and I have talked about that too. Agree naman siya sa sentiments ko. Both her and I try our best to uphold that. Especially si Winter who went through a lot with her family when she came out as lesbian. 

This new age parenting style is better in my opinion kasi ang focus ay sa bata and less about the parents. Pero it doesn’t mean na wala na yung auth