Author’s Note: This story is set in an alternate universe, in an imaginary town and country, and during an ambiguous time period.

 

 

Yunho had a buzzing, nervous feeling the moment he woke up on Friday. Everything was the same as always. He did not eat breakfast, but instead used the extra time to spend more time showering. 

 

His grandparents followed their normal morning routine; they had their herbal tea and coffee, then they made breakfast together. His poppa made his lunch.

 

“You’re a little late today,” his momma said, lowering her coffee mug from her pursed lips.

 

“Yes,” Yunho nodded, grabbing his lunch. “I’m not very hungry this morning.” He gave the coffee maker a look. “May I have some coffee?”

 

“You’re too young for coffee!” was his momma’s swift refusal.

 

He chuckled and decided it was best to not burst her bubble.

 

“Alright. Well, I am ready.”

 

It was a bit colder that morning, he noted when he stepped out of the house, into the large winding porch. His momma would be the one driving him to school. 

 

They were planning on going into town on Saturday to look for a bike. The walk to school was too long, but biking it would be manageable—and Yunho wanted to do it. He wanted some freedom from his grandparents. He loved them dearly but really did not want to make parent-drop-off and pick-up a thing.

 

He was in high school, for Pete’s sake!

 

Once in the car and his momma started the engine and drove into the main road, she said, “You seem a little jittery today, is everything alright?”

 

Yunho nodded. 

 

“Well, that’s good dear. Anything planned for this weekend?”

 

He shook his head. “Just our plan.”

 

“Our plan?”

 

“To get the bike?”

 

“Ooh, yes! Dear, you’ll hear this a lot as you age, but that’s because it is true. You’re too young to not enjoy life. Go make some plans with your friends, enjoy your youth, enjoy your life.”

 

He laughed.

 

“This is no laughing matter, young man.”

 

“Yes, ma’am, I shall try.”

 

“Good. That’s very good, dear.”

 

Yunho didn’t know why he didn’t tell her about his dinner plans with his father. 

 

He would have to sooner than later, but right now, he felt uncomfortable just thinking about how he felt when he agreed to his request.

—---

 

School started the same way as always. Nothing was out of sorts, except for Yunho, perhaps. He felt on edge and very jumpy, jittery, as his grandmother had observed, but he still couldn’t decide why.

 

That post on MeadowSecret had suddenly given Yunho a visibility that he never wanted. 

 

He was getting more looks now and he knew most of the student body probably did think he was gay, or those that were not too sure wanted to know for certain his uality. He did not fit their preconceived notions or their stereotypes, and it was confusing them as they rushed to shove him into a tiny box.

 

Yunho was too stubborn and too proud to spend precious time worrying about what the netizens of Green Meadow thought about him.

 

Sitting in Calc., completing the busy work that Ms. Sik had administered, someone’s pencil poke Yunho on the back. Sighing, he lifted his head and turned around in his tiny chair. “What?”

 

The girl flashed him a peppy smile. He still did not know most of his peers' names. And it was all because he was trying to be as unsociable as possible. 

 

“Sorry. Lia—” She pointed to the two girls sitting in the same row as her, two seats away. The girls smiled and waved. 

 

The one sitting furthest was Jaejoong’s girlfriend, if he was not wrong: Aki June, a member of the school’s drill team. He could see why they would date. She was pretty. Really pretty. Her prettiness was soft; she had those scancilating, pretty eyes and smile, as Jaejoong did, and these gentle, delicate features. They matched.

 

Yunho frowned when he realized the adjectives he had unconsciously used to describe Jaejoong. He was not comparable to a pretty girl like Aki. She seemed nice, even if she was with Jaejoong. She was probably in love with his looks and his title as the most popular kid in school. At this age, social standing was more precious than all the gold in the world. 

 

Jaejoong was far from nice, at least in Yunho’s book.

 

Yunho looked sharply away from her and her dark cat-shaped eyes and stared at the smiling girl behind him. Her smile was too wide, too strained, and too artificial.

 

Clearing his throat, he said, “Yes?”

 

She looked uncomfortable. She gave her friends another look. Lia mouthed something to her. She sighed and briefly closed her eyes. “Lia a—” She checked her phone and rolled her eyes, dropping her hands and phone on her lap. “Just Lia, not Aki, wants to get the “deets” on you.” She made air quotation marks.

 

His heart slammed against his ribcage. He tried to get his expression and his tone to remain neutral. “What?”

 

“Well,” she sighed again, acting as if she had a gun to her temple. “She thinks you’re,” she leaned in as she said, “cute, and she would like to get to know you.” She pulled back, and checked her phone again.

 

He felt his heart rate normalizing and he felt himself relaxing. A rush of air escaped from his nose.

 

What was this? Elementary school?

 

He chuckled, mouth closed. “Umm, I am not really looking for—” Losing the battle, he looked in the girls’ direction and made eye contact with a smiling Aki, her eyes b with sympathy. She waved. He quickly looked away. 

 

“She doesn’t want to date you,” she quickly said, looking insulted. She curled her lips in displeasure.

 

He blinked at her. “Okay? I mean, in my defense, everyone would think that’s what you were implying here.” He frowned at her. “I...I am confused here.”

 

She rolled her eyes and her lip, and he instantly disliked her.

 

Leaning in again, she gave him a warm smile. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to...Anyways, regardless of how I conveyed my message, it’s just, she’s crazy and I don't even know why I am doing this.” She sighed, rolled her eyes again, and massaged her forehead. “Sorry for the constant eye rolling. It’s just something I do. It’s a default at this point.”

 

Yunho’s eyebrows jumped up, but just rapidly, they came down. He instantly forgave her and felt bad for judging her over a very human reaction she just had. 

 

“I hadn’t even noticed.” He lied.

 

“You’re Yunho, you know? You used to be a Green Meadow’s kid. I can’t believe you don’t remember us.”

 

“Yeah. Sorry?”

 

She gave him a hard look. “No relationship. She just wants to link up.” The way her eyes darted told him she had just told a lie.

 

Something about this interaction felt weird. He knew better than to go along with her and her friends. His mother raised no fool. 

 

“I…don’t do link ups. Sorry?”

 

She laughed. “Nothing ual, dude!”

 

She quieted down when she realized that she had been a little too loud for comfort. “She wants to get to know you,” she whispered, giving him another quick look. She stopped, bit the inside of her bottom lip and peered at him again. Leaning evern closer, she whispered even more quietly, “Well, you know, are you gay?”

 

Aah. There it was.

 

He snorted against his will. His ears felt as if they were boiling hot. There was a sharp ringing in his ears. Tilting his head to the side to elevate the pressure, he grinned at her. “Like I said, I am not looking for all that right now.”

 

“Yes, I know. I heard you,” she interrupted, again she rolled her eyes. She did not lie. It was a habit. An annoying one. “The first time,” she sassily added. “But you never know, you might get to know her and like her. She’s annoying, but she is…” She scowled and gave her friend a deadly look. “She’s not ugly.”

 

She was not, she was correct about her friend. It felt like all the friendships amongst the popular kids were fake. They were all like crab in a barrel. If only they knew how insignificant the majority of the relationships they formed in high school would be in the future, they would relax and strive for deeper, more meaningful connections—even if it was not with another person.

 

“Good. I am happy to know that you—” he was speaking slowly, and over pronouncing each and every word. That irritated her. She interrupted. “I am glad we agree.”

 

“Okay. Then why—-”

 

Her smile was as dry as her voice when she said with a gleam in her eyes, “So, gay: nay or yay?”

 

She was switching between conversations like a pro, trying to get him to trip and admit something he was not supposed to. Sighing, he stared at her down. “Can I speak without being interrupted now?”

 

She smiled and then laughed, it was a light cute series of giggles. “Sorry. You know what? I feel really uncomfortable doing this. But…” she drawled, rolling her pencil on the desk, up and down. “I am curious.”

 

“Are you asking about the MeadowSecrets post?”

 

She lifted a shoulder. “That and….What happened between you and, umm”—she swallowed and dropped her gaze—“Jaejoong.”

 

“What about him?” 

 

He instantly knew that his tone changed when she looked up; she looked startled. That obvious spark in her eyes left him upset. He did not know her, why was she acting like he could trust her or she and her friends deserved answers. 

 

Against his will, he looked in Aki’s direction. He wondered if she was the one behind this interrogation. Was she doubting her boyfriend’s uality or did she want to avenge him or something? 

 

She looked back at him, looking innocent and oblivious to the nature of the conversation he was having with her friend.

 

“Jaejoong? Don’t tell me you’re fake-forgetting him, too?” 

 

“What? Fake—” He paused and rubbed his forehead. He was getting a headache. This was ridiculous.

 

He was doing a poor job of disauding her, she was now more curious than ever. Her eyes shined with a ferocious intensity now.

 

She shrugged and tried to look nonchalant. She smiled softly at him. “Sorry.”

 

Yunho tried to grab his bearings. “No, don’t apologize. I know who Jaejoong is, there’s no fake-forgetting happening here. The question is, why is he important to this conversation?

 

“Remember at his birthday party years ago when—”

 

He sighed. “Nothing.”

 

“Nothing happened?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“He lied?”

 

“It was a joke.” 

 

He closed his mouth and scowled. 

 

Her eyes shimmered with her overflowing excitement. 

 

Fully turning his body in a proper 180, he leaned in really close to her. He heard her loud inhale. She smelled of fresh strawberry—not necessarily overpoweringly sweet, but earthy. 

 

“If you’re so curious, you’re the one that is his friend, ask him.” He cocked his head in the direction where he knew Jaejoong was sitting, playing on his phone and attempting to stealthily sneak glances at him and her as they talked. He bet he was dying from his curiosity and needed to know why he kept looking at his girlfriend.

 

Yunho liked that thought. He looked back at the two girls, gave them a wide smile and nodded. Both returned it with a smile of their own. They quickly looked at each other, giggled softly and began conversing among themselves.

 

“I—”

 

“You two sure are talking a lot. Though this is skipping the necessary step of independent work, I am assuming you have been helping each other figure out the problems?”

 

They shared a startled look. They looked up at their beaming teacher, mouth slightly agape.

 

 The class erupted in laughter.

 

Turning around, he gave Ms. Sik a guilty and apologetic smile.

 

“Sorry,” she said.

 

Shaking her head, she let out a short amused laugh. “Shyanna, I expected more from you, Ms. Class Secretary.”

 

“I...I am done and Yunho needed help so I, being the class secretary, thought it was my duty to be of assistance,” she stuttered through an explanation.

 

Yunho and Jaejoong made eye contact. Jaejoong looked pleased. He grinned, flashing his white teeth, and playfully lifted his eyebrows. Yunho promptly broke the contact and looked away. He was still trying to be angry at him.

 

Ms. Sik stopped a babbling Shyanna. “This is quiet work time.” She paused and looked around the class. “It’s necessary and it needs to be done before we move on to working with a partner. I love that you want to help, Shyanna, but Yunho will never finish if he doesn’t skip what he doesn’t know and keep on working. Which is something I made clear to the class. We will work with each other to answer the questions we do not know, and coach each other, once we’re done with the independent portion of this activity.”

 

They all could tell Ms. Sik was livid now.

 

Shyanna quickly issued an apology. “I’m sorry, ms. Sik.”

 

The tired teacher sighed. “I feel like we do not even need the review session. You all seem ready for the exam on Monday.”

 

“No!” they all cried in unison.

 

She clapped her hands twice and said, in a serious tone, “Then get back to doing the worksheet so we can review what you do not know well or need to learn so you can pass this test.” 

 

Yunho gave Shyanna a sugary sweet smile. She scowled angrily at him.

 

He shrugged and turned back to his completed worksheet. He was great at math.

 

The final clap from Ms. Sik was deafening.

 

Clap!

 

-------

 

“Will you be at the game?” Soel asked, gently placing her lunch on the table. She was the first one to join him.

 

At this point, this was now their lunch table, and he could see the five of them eating together every day until school let out for summer. 

 

Looking up from his phone, he nodded. “Thinking about it.”

 

She gave him an ecstatic smile. “Do come,” she said cheerfully. “Our hockey games are like no other.”

 

Yeah, he remembered that. While the rest of the world went crazy for football, basketball, baseball, and soccer, Green Meadow, a little town on the skirt of oblivion went crazy for ice-hockey.

 

“GMH is good?” he said, just as in his peripheral view he saw Jaejoong ducking to avoid a fruit that was tossed at him. He jumped up, all long limbs and smiled at his friend. “Hey, don’t waste my food,” he heard Aki shouted, demanding that the boys give her back her apple.

 

“Kids,” Soel said, sighing tiredly, digging in her food—sushi. He arched an eyebrow when he noticed what she was eating. 

 

“Jocks being a waste of space, what’s new?” Kimberli said sardonically, leading the queue; Chamin was walking slightly behind Kevin.

 

“Rude,” Soel said, swallowing her food. “Some of them are not that bad.”

 

Changmin groaned. “You do not have to bite your tongue because Yunho’s here. He is one of us now.” And he grinned at him, putting him on the spot.

 

“I….I don’t think I was ever a jock?”

 

They laughed. The three sat down. 

 

“You were,” Kevin said, dusting his pear before he took a large bite.

 

“You can’t lie. They used to be your friend,” Soel said, and curiosity leaked in her voice. She didn’t say it, but it was written all over her face.

 

“I don’t know them.” He shrugged with finality.

 

“Jaejoong.”

 

His whole existence jumped at the name. 

 

He was tired of him constantly being mentioned in all of his conversations with everyone! It was like they couldn't see Yunho and not think of annoying Jaejoong.

 

He was tired.

 

He met Kevin’s gaze. He exhaled, straightened his shoulders and shrugged. “Almost a decade ago.”

 

“Jaejoong is not that bad,” Soel said, rolling her shoulders in defiance.

 

Kimberli rolled her eyes. “You are only saying that because he is cute.”

 

“Blah. Cute?  He is bonafide hot.” She batted her mascaraed lashes at her friend, challenging her.

 

“He is still a jock.”

 

She winked at Kimberli. “That adds to the hotness, and you definitely should agree, Kim.”

 

Kimberli glowered at her. “What do you mean?”

 

Soel shrugged, giving her friend a chummy grin. “Nothing.”

 

Kimberli rolled her eyes in nonchalance, but everyone could tell Soel had hit a nerve. Amd Yunho felt like he and everyone else at the table knew what it was all about.

 

Kentaro Sakaguchi.

 

Changmin cleared his throat. “I’m still here.”

 

“I know, sweetheart,” Soel said, reaching out to lay a hand on top of his shoulder. “And I know that you’re secure in yourself, in me, and our relationship.”

 

“Still, I’m sure he doesn’t need to hear you glorify a—”

 

“Which is just, Kim, because Jaejoong sure does look a little bit like lover boy Ken, doesn’t he, now?” Soel said in a sugary sweet voice, dropping a kiss on her boyfriend’s cheek. “We’re good.”

 

Kimberli rolled her eyes at her and hissed wordlessly.

 

Changmin beamed like a satisfied toddler that had just been given a lollipop.

 

“Sheesh, you two are too much,” Kevin said between bites. 

 

“Second that,” Kimberli said, giving Soel evil glares.

 

Kevin laughed, and he high-fived Kimberli.

 

Soel arched an eyebrow, making sure they were looking, she pulled Changmin in for a kiss. Right smack on the lip.

 

The two friends said simultaneously, “Bleh!”

 

“You’ll need to get booed up. Stop being jealous.”

 

 

----

 

“Hi, can I talk to you?”

 

Yunho stopped walking and turned toward the voice. Aki smiled brightly at him. She was even prettier up close.

 

“Hey,” he said, surprised.

 

She tucked some loose flyaways behind her tiny ear. She was by herself.

 

Yunho braced himself for another session of interrogation.

 

“I want to apologize.”

 

“Huh?” He blinked, and physically sighed and relaxed.

 

“Yeah. I owe you an apology.”

 

“What?” He laughed. “Why?”

 

“Well, I mean, what happened this morning was not okay. And I couldn’t relax thinking that, you know? That we made you feel so uncomfortable. I am sorry.”

 

He felt heavy. Staring at her bright, gentle eyes, and her perfect and pretty smile, he knew he couldn’t dislike her. Jaejoong did not deserve her. That he knew. She was only gorgeous, she was actually nice. Maybe she wasn’t as shallow and as fake as he thought all the people around Jaejoong were. Maybe she was different, he thought. He returned her smile.

 

“Yeah, it’s okay.”

 

“Nope. It is not okay,” she said, shaking her head. 

 

“Well, it’s not. You’re right.”

 

She laughed and nodded, looking even more apologetic.

 

“But this has nothing to do with you. Don’t feel bad. And,” he shrugged, “you know? It doesn't matter.” He rolled his shoulders.

 

“Why do you keep saying that? It does matter and I am so sorry.” She pressed her lips together tentatively and then looked in his eyes. “I just wanted to know more about you and Jaejoong. I am sorry.” She blushed. “It has nothing to do with the—I think you’re really nice.”

 

“Thanks for the apology, and, umm, for the compliment.” He shrugged. “Honestly, there is not much to say. We haven’t been friends in a few years.”

 

“I know.” She gave him a small, concrite smile. “You’re really nice. I can see why he likes you so much.”

 

His eyebrows jumped up. “What?”

 

She covered , looking ill at ease. “I mean, he is really sorry! You should talk to him. Please.”

 

Yunho felt weird about the knowledge that Jaejoong talked to her about him. But of course he would, they were dating. That's what couples did. But he still hated it.

 

He smiled kindly at her.

 

“Thanks for the apology. I kind of have to—” He pointed behind him, and bit his bottom lip.

 

Her face lit up as she smiled. “Yeah. Of course! Sorry for holding you. See you at the game!” She waved, gave him a large smile that covered most of her lower face, and walked away before he could say anything else.

 

-----

Yunho stopped fixing his hair when he heard a knock on his door. He was trying to get ready for the hockey game. 

 

Though he found the whole thing weird, he knew that buzzing charged feeling he had since that morning was nervousness. He was much more excited about the game then he thought he would be. He was not sure if it was because this was a team that Jaejoong was in.

 

“Come in,” he said, and ran his hand on top of his moosed hair.

 

The door creaked open. “Your mom is on the line, baby,” his momma said. His heart dropped. 

 

He didn’t dislike talking to his mother, per se. It was just that, currently, he didn’t enjoy the process. She sounded different from her usual self and he didn’t like it.

 

Grabbing the phone, he smiled at his manman and put it to his ear. “Hi, mom.”

 

“Hey baby!”